As I’ve said many times before, nothing says a writer is out of ideas faster than him writing a column that’s just one big list.
As promised in yesterday’s sterling Cubs’ Report, today we’re going to take a tour of the big leagues and rate the TV announcing teams for each club. Thanks to the MLB Extra Innings package, you can hear practically every big league TV announcer do games.
I thought about how best to do this. Should I give each club a ghey little letter grade A-F? Nah.
How about something very Al Yellon-esque like five microphones for the best and down the line until oen for Chip…I mean, the worst. Nah, that’s too hack, even for me. Instead we’re going to use very simple categories and let the critiques speak for themselves.
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Somebody better check Hank’s fly.
It’s July 1, the Cubs have the best record in the National League (a half game behind the Tampa Bay Rays for best in baseball) and they’ve outscored their opponents by 101 runs (the Phillies are next with a +72 differential). In other words, the Cubs are kicking ass and taking names, and yeah, it doesn’t feel like it.
However, consider this. Now that the folly that is Interleague Play is over, the Cubs are back to beating up on the National League. They have won 16 of their last 21 against the NL. They are 20 games over .500 against the NL. The National League sucks. The American League just bent it over and showed it who daddy was and the Cubs’ 6-9 record against the junior circuit looked pretty good compared to everybody else. Only three teams, the Braves, the Mets and the scrappy–I mean crappy–Cincinnati Reds had winning records against the American League.
See! Isn’t that better? I’m sure you’re all fired up now.
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On Friday, the Cubs trailed 8-0 in the third inning. On Saturday, Carlos Marmol provided all of the power needed so that Carlos Quentin could hit a check swing, opposite field homer to give the Sox the lead. Last night, the Cubs ran the bases like kindergärtners. Ugh.
The team’s best player spent the weekend hitting like Steve Buchele with a bald spot and a tan, and now he’s flying to the Dominican for family reasons and will miss the first three games of the series that starts tonight in San Francisco.
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Pitching matchup
Cubs: Ryan Dempster 9-2, 2.63 ERA
White Sox: Jose Contreras 6-6, 3.96 ERA
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Pitching matchup:
Orioles: UncleRhemus Liz, 1-0, 6.27 ERA
Cubs: Jason Marquis, 6-3, 4.43 ERA
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Because I’m a major celebrity (actually, I just think Rod Thulin was busy), I’ll be spending much of tomorrow live blogging NBA drafts past (1993) and present (2008) with the good folks at Yahoo! Sports.
At 11 a.m. tomorrow Kelly Dwyer, Andrew Lawrence (from a little rag called Sports Illustrated) and I will be following along as NBA-TV rebroadcasts the 1993 draft (Chris Webber, Penny Hardaway, Acie Earl, Spencer Dunkley, etc.)
Then, they’ve asked me back for the real thing, the 2008 NBA Draft where a little franchise called the Chicago Bulls (maybe you’ve heard of them, they used to be kind of good) has the first pick.
Thankfully, I’ve had a little experience with this.
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This is 93-year-old Loretta Dolan (my first wife, don’t ask, it didn’t end well, and the story is long, complicated and involves Georgie Jessel and a Union Pacific porter). She threw out the first pitch at last night’s Cubs-Orioles game. It only took her two more pitches to strike out Ronny Cedeno.
