Can we be perfect?

If there is such a thing as a meaningless college basketball game (and actually, there are plenty of them, most of them involve NIU), Illinois is about to play as many as five of them. They have their last home game on Thursday against the Purdue Combovers, then they...

Daily Dose: Million Dollar Muhsin

It’s always going to be impossible for our nitwitted friends in Hollywood to avoid taking themselves too seriously. Even the most humble of all of the Oscar winners has a big tattoo on the back of his head. It’s like they are just begging for us to mock...

Daily Dose: Chickens? What, buddy?

It will be very difficult for Sammy Sosa to top something he said yesterday. According to Chris DeLuca (and like Brian Fantana, 60 percent of the time, DeLuca’s right every time), Sammy responded to a question yesterday about his boombox getting smashed in...

Bulls Report: Sweet, sweet mediocrity!

It hardly seems fair to spend an entire column on the Cubs, when they haven’t even played an exhibition game yet, while ignoring the Bulls return to the NBA. Exiled for seven years after Michael Jordan left town, the NBA decided to relocate an actual NBA team in...

Cubs Report: Jumping the gun

Trying to figure out a team on the first day of Spring training is a fool’s errand to say the least. Well, I’m a fool, so what the hell, it seems like a good enough time to do our first Cubs Report of 2005. When last we left our heroes we were standing...