Yes, I am the dumbest person.  Ever.
Included in the 38,000 morans at Wrigley Field yesterday was a wide-eyed youngster dressed nattily in khaki shorts and a Hank White Fan Club t-shirt. He was the envy of those around him who pointed and laughed and said things like, “What a great shirt, where can I procure one?” or “Who the hell is Hank White?” or “He’s number 24 you dumbass!” but mostly the fans were busy doing something else. They were busy agreeing to vote Dusty Baker off of this island. Some even offered to pack Dusty’s bags for him and drive him to the airport.

I’ve been to lots of Cubs games over the years and seen a lot of bad Cubs teams, but the boos that we heard yesterday had a familiar ring to them. They sounded just like they did during the Reds’ appearance in September of 2004.

Dimwits like Scoop Jackson can say that the criticism of Dusty is racially motivated (well, actually Scoop can’t really “say” that because he can’t string together enough coherent words to form a sentence), but the truth is that whoever was managing the Cubs right now would be treated the same way. In some respect, Dusty probably gets off easier than most because he at least has won something, even if he then took the something and poured gasoline on it and burned it in front of God and country at game six of the NLCS.

Nothing he did yesterday reeked of incompetence. Mark Prior seemed intent on giving back every lead the Cubs could scrounge together, and Dusty brought in Will Ohman at a time when he was going to face the anemic Jason LaRue then three straight lefthanded hitters. The fact that Ohman gave up a homer to LaRue is just so typically Cub of him.

But it’s obvious in person, even more so than on TV, that the Cubs are a complete mess. They can’t do anything right. They played like a team that is in a hurry to get to the offseason.

You go right through the lineup and you have Derrek Lee trying to win a batting title by not getting very many hits, Todd Walker playing defense like it’s optional, Nomar’s just happy when he runs one way or the other and doesn’t rupture anything, E-ramis’ defense has regressed so completely (from just June!) that he’s probably worse over there than he was in Pissburgh, Matt Lawton has no clue how to judge a flyball, Corey was just happy to be anyplace other than Des Moines and Jeromy Burnitz is staring at a 13th straight season in the big leagues with no playoffs attached to it. Oh, and Hank White is probably wondering why he didn’t go back to Atlanta, or even Milwaukee when the Twins told him thanks but no thanks.

If they weren’t playing the game for an absurd amount of money, you could almost (ALMOST) understand why they’ve packed it in. But they are playing for an absurd amount of money and so they don’t enjoy that luxury. It’s their job.

And that’s where the reflection on Dusty has to be the most damning. His supposed strength was the way he handled players and the way his teams always peaked at the right time. Apparently this year they peaked for seven games played around the All-Star Break. That’s what Jim Essian teams are supposed to do, not the teams of a guy who gets $16 million to make himself look like it’s Halloween with his wristbands and toothpick.

When you hire Dusty Baker you do it to avoid what is happening right now. I’m not a big believer that a manager needs to be a redass like Wally Backman or Larry Bowa. But he needs to hold his players accountable and that’s something that at least on the surface, has been completely lacking with the Cubs. Dusty’s successful Giants’ teams had veteran leaders on them like Matt Williams and even the always irascible Jeff Kent, guys who got in other guys’ faces when the effort or the decision making wasn’t there. They also had Barry Bonds who was a complete pain in the ass, but also the best player in the league, so that didn’t hurt.

So that’s what we didn’t realize. That’s what the Cubs didn’t realize when they hired him. Dusty’s biggest strengths had the potential to be imaginary. The Cubs have learned that the hard way. When your team misses Eric Karros for any reason, that’s a very telling sign.

It seems to be a matter of when now, not if, Dusty gets fired. But there are a couple of huge mitigating factors here.

The first is, of course, money. The Cubs are paying Dusty $16 million bucks over four years to steer the ship and even though he’s been bouncing it off icebergs they are loathe to pay him to go fishing. They have eaten managers’ salaries before, of course, though they prefer not to.

But the second is probably the actual reason, if Dusty doesn’t get fired. In this case, Scoop would be right. Race would play a factor. Only not in the way Scoop thinks it would. If you’re Andy MacPhail, you have to think twice about firing Dusty Baker after firing Don Baylor in 2002. Did Baylor deserve to get launched? Of course he did. He was practially begging for it at the end. Dusty’s trying to find a way out that doesn’t involve him quitting, because he needs the money, so if he’s to go, he has to be fired.

The spectre of firing two black managers, both prominent managers, too, in three years has to make MacPhail’s butt pucker. He doesn’t even want to think about it. So Dusty can complain all he wants about how the fans are treating him, and he can have his supporters stand up and claim racism and be right. Just not in the way they think. The fact that he’s black is a factor in how long he gets to do his job, but it’s more likely to keep him hired than get him fired.

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Here’s what I would do if I were Jim Hendry. I’d go to the Sweatervest and convince him that Dusty’s doing more harm than good and let Dusty ride off into the sunset with a check for whatever he’s owed for the rest of his contract. Consider it a bonus for being the first manager in Chicago since Kid Gleason to win a postseason series.

Then, I’d make myself the manager. Bobby Cox did it once in Atlanta and brought in John Schuerholz to replace himself as GM. Even if it’s only for the rest of the season. Trade anybody who got through waivers and play Murton and Cedeno and find out what you have. Hendry’s the guy who has to almost completely rebuild the bullpen, the rotation, the lineup and the bench next year. Why wonder if guys can play? Find out.

Plus, the sight of Hendry in uniform would be worth the price of admission for one game. But you know he could do it. He managed Creighton to a few College World Series, and he’d have the respect of his players from day one because he would not only control their playing time but their future earning status.

Something has to be done. So why wait?