Call it “listening to the masses” or “hedging our bets”, but when we decided today that we were going to throw our full support behind the Philadelphia Phillies we disappointed part of our vast fan base.
One of the main reasons for picking the Phillies over our other two bandwagon finalists was because they play in the National League. You know it, it’s the league where men play real baseball, not the 10-man slow pitch softball teams they have over there in the American League.
It was too bad, because the two teams in the AL that we had in our final three were pretty compelling stories. The A’s, who until they managed to lose two of three to the Royals were the hottest team on the planet, and the Indians, who have roared from way back to within a .5 game of the Wild Card and who play the Sox enough down the stretch to make the South Siders uncomfortable.
But if you’re going to be on a bandwagon, you might as well be on two.
So I had to decide whether to go with the Tribe or the A’s. Again, we had pluses and minuses.
Oakland: The A’s are the team the Cubs should be. They have a deep farm system and make trades for guys who can actually play. Actually, if they were the Cubs they would still have Miguel Tejada because he wanted to stay but they couldn’t afford him. Well, wait, if they were the Cubs he’d have wanted to stay and they’d have lowballed him. So never mind.
They have an outfielder, Bobby Kielty, who looks just like Ronald McDonald. So that’s cool.
Cleveland: They have the best logo in the history of sports, even if it is a little racist. They also have a tortured history of failure. The funniest baseball movie ever is about them. They have a center fielder, Grady Sizemore, who is everything Corey Patterson should be. They have a huge hole at third base right now, which Cubs’ fans had 30 years of empathy for. Their best pitcher wears his hat crooked and their closer is missing half of his right index finger. Cool.
They also have negatives.
Oakland: If we pick the A’s it means I have to watch more A’s games on the dish and that means me being bored to tears by Ray Fosse. The man is a human snooze button.
Cleveland: If we pick the Indians it means looking at Eric Wedge and his porn mustache.
In the end, we decided to go with the A’s.
Why?
Because I liked our logo for them better.
Hey bigger decisions have been made for worse reasons. (Right?)
Anyway, from here on out we’re like that scene in Footloose where Lori Singer is caught between the two cars. And if you think I’m comfortable with Ken Macha and Charlie Manuel doing the driving…well, I’m not.
Oakland not only broke Kansas City’s 19-game losing streak, but they actually propped the Royals’ up on a winning streak before they let them leave town. Oh, this is perfect. They’re peaking at the right time.
The A’s have today off and are on their way to Detroit for three games and then to Baltimore for three. Then they come back to the coast for three in Anaheim before a big three gamer at home next weekend against the Yankees.
You know, it’d have been nice if the Cubs had gotten their act together. They’re a lot easier to follow than this.
