Pitching matchup:
Braves: Jorge Sosa, 8-2, 2.63 ERA (really?)
Cubs: Mark Prior, 9-4, 3.66 ERA
Lineups
Braves
Otis Campbell, ss
Marcus Giles, 2b
Larry Wayne Jones, 3b
Andruw, cf
Methuselah, 1b
Jeff “Zero career big league walks” Francoeur, rf
Ryan Lederhosen, lf
Tom McAn Footwear, c
Jorge Sosa, p
Cubs
Matt Lawton, lf
Disgusted Bat Flip, 2b
MVLee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Jeromy, rf
Neifi!, ss
Corey “It’s just the game” Patterson, cf
Hank White, c
Mark Prior, p
Yippy!
Um, Andy, Bruce Bochy did hold up 4 fingers Sunday night when I came to the plate. So I do have ONE walk.
Well, lets score two.
Fine Jeffy, how about drawing a walk when the catcher’s in a friggin’ crouch?
Man, I done had me a time at Hooters last night. Hope I did na get any of dem preggers.
That’s right it’s just the game. I was misquoted!
Honesty compels me to say that I have enjoyed my homecoming to Chicago this week. I got see a lot of old friends and they provided me with breakfast this morning as they stopped to throw eggs at me while I got in a cab. I’d also like to thank the young man who offered to get me a drink at Harry Caray’s last night. I was sitting at my table and he asked me if I’d like “a donkey punch.” I don’t drink, so I had to abstain.
I can’t help it, I still laugh when I see that “Disgusted Bat Flip” is in the lineup.
I feel dirty.
And the starting SS for the 2006 Chicago Cubs grounds out.
Did I clear waivers? If not, I’d like to change the Hank-White-O-Meter to, “Looking for cheap flights to the Mexican League to play meaningful games.” Yeah, that probably won’t fit on the meter.
I’ll get my glove.
Hey, nobody gave me credit for my diving glove flip to first on Monday night, that was a good play. Even though the only reason I pulled it off is because I botched about 14 other plays during the season with the same bad habit, but still. That one got me a Web Gem!
Its hot out here today.
I promise that I will have 100+ pitches by the 6th inning…again.
When was the last time I had 1st inning that was under 15 pitches..
Shut up Prior. If you do that again, I will bitch slap your ass.
I am back, buddies.
For the love of god, trade me to a contender this time.
We suck dog’s balls!!!
Who’s managing the Cubs today?
I thought I just saw a hit and run.
Holy shit!!! The Cubs just executed me!
Cubs just did me. No, that can’t be right.
Good thing that Dad is letting me manage today. I learned in T-Ball that runners can steal as the pitch is being thrown.
Next thing you know, a pitcher will cover 1st base.
I did some light reading last night. Caught up on some chapters in my Managing Major League Baseball Teams for Dummies.
I’m pretty sure that’s spelled Dumbies, Dumby Dusty. FDF
I wrote that book… Only I thought it was titled “Managing Major League Baseball Teams for Morans”
Looks like I will be coming in.
Not sure why this Ted Leitner guy was broadcasting last night. I usually do the radio side for my Padres and am great to listen to …
Well it’s about time. Seriously, we have perfected getting injured while grounding into dp’s. How embarassing is that?
Who wants to bet that was E-ramis’ last at bat of the season?
He hurt himself before he got to the bag and didn’t trip over the bag, he fell over it, in pain.
Get ready for 160 Macias ABs in the next five weeks!
Anyone else think I should be batting ahead of Patterson? Check this out:
ME:
.230/.270/.372
The Game:
.229/.266/.373
Well, everything seems to be back to normal now. Thanks, E-Ramis.
Love my Alou impression…
Jerry,
You were there with Ted, but you let him do the play-by-play for the final three while you read the promos. I was really hoping you’d push him out of the booth.
Andy
See you next year.
See, these things happen all the time.
Hey, everyone I love fat chicks! Check out my column today!
Rally Panties? Sounds like a lame stunt out of “Major League’’ or “Bull Durham,’’ desperate stuff for a team that owned baseball’s best record for four months. I realize when Timo Perez hung a pair of large, black panties in the clubhouse the other day, he was attempting to loosen up his mates during a seven-game losing streak. Hopeless frat boys that they are, ballplayers have been known to participate in a ritual called a “Slumpbuster,’’ in which one of the gentlemen  we’re not accusing any Sox of this, of course  has a good time with a heavy-set female to help the common cause. I relate the story only to explain why anyone would resort to women’s lingerie as a motivational tool.
First and third, no out, Lee and Ramirez, no runs, one injury. 2005 Cubs baseball fever–Catch it!
So that’s why I never hustle.
How exactly did I get hurt?
Someone say they’re looking for a 3rd baseman?
If I’m not Corey Patterson’s new nickname, I hate all of you and will pay Pat Robertson to talk God into killing you.
What happened to me? I’m “watching” the game on MLB Gameday, so I don’t know.
See, another injury excuse…”We lost Aramis just as we were heating up”. We’ll all be around for a long time now.
Early diagnosis: Pulled Quadrophenia
Since Ramirez was the last out, and he has to leave the game, I guess I’d better do a double switch.
E-ramis was hustling (no, really) to beat out a double play grounder and about three steps from the bag he grabbed his left quad, stumbled, tripped over third ended up face down in the dirt and limped off the field.
We’re trying some more hit and runs. All these young kids Cox plays, no way they’ve seen that play before. They’re too young to know the better.
Okay, I tell truth to Desipio Nation:
I go on Internet to book a flight to Virgin Islands for January 9th. However, Carlos no teach me how to use Internet properly, as I enter “9/1” instead of “1/9”. I suppose to leave one week from today and the tickets are non-refundable. So I hurt myself and now the season’s over. I go to Virgin Islands next week. So long, assholes!
Your Friend,
Pancakes
Jay, dry humping you wasn’t working, mang.
Everybody’s comparing Francoeur to Vlad Guererro which is refreshing considering most people only compare players to others of their own race.
It’s also so wrong I need to pause to laugh.
Looks like we’ll be seeing even more of Aramis now.
did you forget about me Drs. Townshend and Daltry?
whatever
I think it’s time I start playing third base again! I’m never going to see the bigs again, am I? Ever.
Is Jeff Francoeur the next me or the next Rob Deer?
Why did some guy named Hendry just call me and ask if I could play third?
I just drank a whole bottle of cough syrup…..fck
Remember that one time when Aramis Ramirez hit into a double play?
Hey guys I’m looking for a job..
Oh, that’s good news. E-ramis’ “bad” quad was his right one. Now he’s got a matched set.
I realize that Kelton was being honest–and that can be refreshing– but him running from the spotlight and giving up third base has always left a sour taste in my mouth. In retrospect, I’m glad, because we got Pancakes for the hot corner, but I think it reflects poorly on a player when he chooses to take the path of least resistance rather than sack it up and work on his position.
Why do I always hurt my legs? Am I too top heavy? Too much Stuft French Toast?
Am I the next Corey Patterson? Please. When was the last time you were on the cover of SI?
I am so great, it hurts. I am so much better than everyone else in this league, that it physically pains me.
Oh great, the cover of SI. Now I’m destined for Roberto Clemente Disease or Dwight Gooden Syndrome.
If Francouer were to have a full season with his current stats he’d end up with:
.353, 44 HR, 131 RBI
I’m no expert, but I think that might be good enough for Rookie of the Year.
Honestly, I hope he is really this good, if only so Cardinals’ fans can remind us that Albert is “only” four years older than he is.
OBP of .354
I hear you Mike.
I know I suck, but fuck you anyway, Chuck.
Or, that look on my face could be from bad taco gas…no…I’m just too good…I do have bad taco gas though.
I think, in fairness to Kelton, that he wasn’t just a bad defensive third baseman, he was by all accounts abysmal, and not getting any better. I think the only chance he had of making it at that point was to hope a move to the outfield would provide him with a chance to relax and hit better than he was so he could be a big leaguer. It helped, just not enough.
The Brewers went through the same thing with Corey Hart (and the fact that the stubborn ass always wore his sunglasses at night). He wasn’t going to ever play defense at third well enough to be useful, so they moved him to the outfield and now he’s in the big leagues.
Aww it’s just a game, and I suck at it..
Good thing Korey was “learning” in Iowa. He’s average, OBP and SLG are all lower now than when he was recalled.
But, at least he’s back to only a 20% strikeout rate. That’s improved from the 33.3% rate he posted the last month before he was sent down.
I made tacos for Andruw last night.
Did someone say sunglasses at night?
It is hot out here.
Where’s the strike zone again? I’m having trouble locating it..
He played well at Iowa for what, four games? Only the Cubs would send a guy down to work on things and get confidence, then bring him up before he’s a) changed anything and b) had any prolonged success.
If they can take any solace at all it’s that he’s never going to come back to haunt them when they finally dump him, because he’s never going to be any good.
Big Z is the real me.
Do you think that Mariotti’s pissed because the Sox are using his panties?
If anyone other than me, especially Pooholes, wins the gold glove, I’m gonna take em out with my Bushmaster.
What’s worse, big bloomers or my fucked hairpiece??
Sweaty Joe pitched last night for the D’Rays and I noticed how much better his slider looked. He’s pitched 18.2 scoreless innings in Tampa.
So which was dumber and more costly?
Hendry’s refusal to dump Dave Veres or Mark Guthrie to keep Rod Beck in ’03, or his refusal to dump Remlinger this year for Joe?
Keep in mind that Veres and Guthrie were both let go after ’03 and Remlinger was let go during this season.
This is almost tragic. Len read a note from a guy that says he’s “taking a break from chemotherapy to root on the Cubs.”
I would think he was tempted to say he was “taking a break from the Cubs for some chemotherapy.”
I’d say the Beck decision, since even with Joe Borowski pitching well, this team would still suck sweat off a dead man’s balls.
#86, But is Sweaty Joe’s scoreless inning streak a function of AL batters not being familiar with him? If he sticks around TB into next year wouldn’t you expect him to get lit up?
We both make you vomit.
Unfamiliar or not, a slider that doesn’t slide is a batting practice fastball. I think we could hit a few of those.
Yeah, I was scoreless last night, but I let 2 more inherited runners score.
89 knows what he’s talking about.
I should be shot.
Walker shows why is is such an oddball on this team…high-quality AB
Nice catch, Andruw (dick).
Do thIs loOkz rite?
and I show why I suck
You’re hitting better than Corey, Jose.
Fuck you…some of us are at work.
That fucked me up #97! I’m right across from HR!!!
ugh
Better than Korey? Wow, that’s impressive. At least he sees 3 pitches
So, Prior’s gonna be at 60 pitches before getting his 11th out. THis has been a theme with him for a long time now.
Pretty soon expect to hear:
OVER RATED!!!! Clap, Clap, ClapClapClap!
And it’s a wonder why Andy turned off the comments…
At least we chased away the idiotic Rick James and Woo Woo Ronnie Woo Woo!
#105. I agree. School started this week. Which is why most of them are gone!!
Aramis is injured!
Nomar is injured!
The season is over!
Didn’t this ship sail back on August 1st when Andy said it did? Why the hand-wringing now?
I was asking for that. Now Francoeur walks.
Well, I just walked Jeff Francouer. You have to try real hard to do that.
A walk to the anti-Walk Machine?
OVER RATED!!!! Clap, Clap, ClapClapClap!
I love high pitch counts.
I am a dumbass.
Prior’s down second half is because:
A) Still Injured
B) Psyched out from the line drive off the elbow
C) Just not as good as we all thought he was
Discuss…
Yeah, after all “I am the best pitcher that any of you have ever seen”.
Answer C
I had one good season. Am I a healthier Kerry Wood in training, or will I be great some day? Tough to tell, no?
I tend to think B.
But I fear it could be C.
Kerry and Mark are one of me..
102, love the photo. Especially the Thai translation.
Chuck, I am going to go with A & B. When a pitcher get’s hit, it takes alot for them to get back into it mentally. I think it would fuck with my head if I had a line drive nail me in the elbow or the head.
Andy Pettite had mentioned that it took alot out of his Fast Ball. His release was too soon because all he could think of was getting out of the way or having his hands ready to block.
Aren’t I throwing a shutout so far? What are you bitching about?
Did anyone notice my significant weight gain? It’s great here in the pen because I don’t have to run or ride the bike in between starts. Plus, Sarah makes all my favorite pies.
The only way to keep from having another line drive ricochet off my elbow – or my dome – next time is to strike everyone out.
Oh, and with this offense and defense, I need to strike everyone out to win.
Go deeper than 6 innings for once, and we’ll talk.
Uh, isn’t there always a chance that while Prior might be overrated right now, that we’re not yet looking at the finished product?
Well, if Prior ends up being as good as Andy Pettite, he’s a disappointment, no?
I am seriously fucking awful. Why do I still wear a professional uniform? Why am I starting?
CT:
You may be right. But he’s in what? Year 4? It’s getting late to say it’s early.
I always bitch about something.
He’s 4-1 since the All-Star break and averaging about 6 and 2/3 innings per start. His ERA is about 3.6 but 7 of his 8 starts have been QS and the Cubs are 6-2 in his starts. If that’s “down”, it’s down only because you expect greatness every time out.
Sportsline shows hot and cold zones for each player…I have no hot zone at all…
Not if he wins as many playoff games as Pettitte.
Seriously Chuck, of all the bums on this team, I’m the fight you want to pick?
You’ve got four good players on the whole damn team and I’m one of them. Start with one of the other 21 you dope.
I think there are several reasons, and all of them are a combination of what Chuck says and more. Some credit has to go to the offense and bullpen — neither have helped Prior’s win totals. Still, his stats are off, and it appears he just isn’t the pitcher he was in 2003. I believe it to be he’s all out of sorts with his delivery and mechanics based on his recent injury history. He’s pitching tentatively, waiting for something to pop. He’s also probably taking too much on, since his buddy Kerry has been a no-show this season and Mark is trying to amp it up.
I say wait until a full season to rate him. If he can give 35 starts next year, then we’ll have a good indicator of what kind of pitcher he is. I want him on the Cubs, but he still falls far short of Andy’s ridiculous claim that Mark Prior is the best pitcher any of us have ever seen.
…pitching for us.
If I was on any other team than the Yanks, I would have been considered a solid pitcher. I won plenty of games with an ERA over 4, gave up a ton of hits, but I had a great team and bullpen behind me.
I agree Chuck. But I think he will get it together and be light’s out. I think our misfortune this year has a lot to do with the fact that our coaching staff (Rothschild) suck’s #97 tool! Wouldnt you agree?
Chuck, I’m 24 years old. It’s not “getting late.” I’m still good. Now shut the hell up.
137, No. I have formed my opinion about how Prior sucks. Now I will write everyday on my blog to prove that I am right.
I still don’t get the Colonel Blimp thing.
I just got back to read the chemo and Cubs chatter, and it brings back a strange memory for me. My dad was diagnosed with leukemia in August 1999, which meant he had a much more better Fall than the Cubs (and he didn’t even get to see the following Spring). The first chemo treatment was brutal, and I remember sitting in the hospital room with him. He was too tired to concentrate on reading, conversations that were too involved, or even the most base movie plots. He’d just as soon watch golf (which he loved) or the Cubs. He’d click between Channel 2 and Channel 9, and he just couldn’t endure more than 30-45 seconds of the Cubs before groaning, wincing and changing the channel. Granted, this was a Micah Bowie-era team, and Chip’s voice contributed to his suffering, but he would agree that the chemo wasn’t so bad compared to the Cubs.
I’m not trying to start a fight with you, Mark. I’m just throwing out for discussion that you may only be a really good pitcher and not, “The Franchise.” And if THAT is so, then this team is in a much deeper hole for 2006 than any of us think.
If Prior and Z are co #1’s, then great. If Prior is only a #2, then there’s huge extra work to do.
I’m with you Colonel Blimp.
Khukk I get. Colonel Blimp? I was 173 lbs this AM. I don;t get it either.
Hot air balloon, perhaps.
When you consistently turn over 3 innings of work to this bullpen, you are not gonna get a ton of wins, I’m good, I just need to go deeper into games more often.
Didn’t Boras insist I was going to help Wood, Prior and Z with economizing pitches?
It’s on bitches! Granted it was only a single!
Good god, if we actually believed anything Bore-ass told us before signing you, Lip Licker, then we deserve to be shot.
Its not in Greg’s contract to help Wood and Prior. Its their job to get ready. Am I an asshole or what?
I can’t bunt, either
Am I dead? The last column I wrote claimed the Sox clinched the divisional title in April. Did some meth-head put me in cement shoes and dump me in the Cal-Sag Canal for jinxing their team? Heh heh.
By Barry Rozner
Daily Herald Sports Columnist
Posted Monday, August 15, 2005
White Sox fans are a little irritable these days, what with seeing their aces beaten in Boston, injuries on the rise and this interminable wait for the postseason.
That’s what happens when you clinch your division in April.
Feeling a little stale, the White Sox need something to get excited about again, something to bring up the energy during the dog days.
You know, Cubs should just get rid of me.
a 200+ and counting straight games asshole. How’s Rex treating you?
Cubs brass, it’s my job to listen to everything Boras says.
Well, Brett, at least I can do my rehab and live in a World Class city, where there’s more to do than pop Vicodin and chase cows and deer around.
Anybody have some pain killers?
Oh, there’s cows in Chicago.
One left their underwear in the lockerroom.
Did someone say Vicodin???
#155, you forget that Favre is from Mississippi, so he probably considers Green Bay to be a world class city.
Good point, Rex. I’ll just throw down Vicodin, look at my Super Bowl ring, 3 MVPS and wonder how to spend my millions. It sucks to be me
5.8 Pitches per AB.
Kerry-esque.
Cool! An ATV! Party time!
I gots me a new pickup truck hereabouts.
I’ve always assumed that the Colonel Blimp thing had to do with the poster implying Chuck is full of hot air.
Prior’s been pretty good, all things considered. You can’t just keep taking a month off in the middle of your seasons and turn it back on every year. If he wins today he’ll be tied for the team lead in wins with two guys who have made every start.
One thing that jumps out at you is that since he came back from the DL he’s started pitching to avoid contact where before he conserved pitches by trying to let guys get themselves out on pitches they couldn’t get the fat part of the bat on.
That could very well be a subconscious result of nearly having his career ended by Brad Hawpe.
I made Mac & Cheese for dinner tonight! Yall come and get it while the Possum is still warm!!
Santana, last night: 8 innings, 3 hits, 7 Ks, 1 walk.
95 pitches, 58 strikes.
Wow.
The cartoonist David Low first drew Colonel Blimp: pompous, irascible, and jingoistic.
“Gad, Sir”, Blimp would proclaim, wrapped in his towel and brandishing some mundane weapon to emphasise his passion and complacency on some issue of current affairs.
Blimp was a satire on the reactionary opinions of the British establishment of the 1930s and 1940s. Low described him as “a symbol of stupidity, and stupid people are quite nice.â€Â
What I meant to add before my amazement at watching Andruw Jones drop a flyball was this…
He’s still pretty goddamned good, and since this team is going nowhere, as long as he gets through the season unscathed his future’s still very bright. Too bad the front office isn’t.
Thanks Colonel Google, as you can tell, I’m Major Lazy.
Hey, you let me pitch to that Sox lineup and I can get through eight on 85 pitches, too. If you haven’t noticed, they don’t score much.
Well, the Colonel Blimp thing makes all sorts of sense now. Reactionary opinions and Chuck?
Never!
That may be Andy, but my future’s a little brighter.
We should stop booing them and start pelting them with rotten fruits and veggies.
Why did I not tag up on the Burnitz fly out??
Stranded at third……yep I am still on the Cubs….damn dream making me feel otherwise!
I’ve got news for both Carlos and Mark. You’ll be seeing me sometime before your 26th birthdays. The Cubs should start putting money in escrow to pay off the surgery and rehab.
“He’s still pretty goddamned good”
Agreed. We were told and sold (and saw in late 02, late 03) that he was “Oh my fucking-god stupendous!”
I once said that seeing Prior is what it must have felt like to see a young Jim Palmer.
I’ve lost that loving feeling.
This is why we lose, dude. No Free agents are gonna come here now dude.
Mark yes, me…NEVER. I keel you now Dr. man.
See, rookies don’t know how to play the game. Bobby Cox ought to be playing Brian Jordan instead of this Frenchie kid.
If Macias had played any deeper he’d have needed a life jacket.
Am I a gay pornstar?
I for one, enjoyed Mark’s El Duque impression on that throw.
Oops, there goes another Axion stain….
Man! Macias! Fuck you!!!
Yup, young Jim Palmer…
Prior’s last batter is me.
can’t field my position, either
First and third with no outs is a tough spot, dude.
For the offense. We haven’t figured it out yet.
I think I am just going to let Marky work this one out on his own.
See post #15.
D Lee, you didn’t tag up because that damn rookie has nine outfield assists this year.
NINE! In two months.
Rookies suck.
Adam LaRoche is like 0-18, and I guarantee you that if Dusty brings Ohman in to face him, he’ll get a hit.
I wish you could buy stock in stuff like this.
This is why I pitch to avoid contact. I can’t throw strikeouts into center field. I’ll just whiff these punks and leave with a 1-0 lead so the bullpen can cough up eight runs in the next two.
How do you throw two perfect sliders and then a 54 foot fastball?
Can I bat with a snowshovel? Maybe that way, I can make some sort of contact.
Prior keeps snapping at the throw back from Hank because he’s “fired up” and he nearly snapped the last one into left field. Now that would be a new way for the Cubs to lose.
Time for a squeeze.
I will strike out the first two in dramatic fashion, then get 0-2, and give up a two run single.
“Now. Now this is where the infield comes in. Now, DON’T LET UP NOW.”
Second Largest City in America and by far the worst color analyst. This jackass is more cheerleader than broadcaster.
I hate him so much it burns.
Livan has at least 2 more innings in him. This is a must-win.
One of these days the Cubs will lose a game when a wild pitch gets stuck in that ad sign behind home plate.
Error or not?
I should have had that. Oops.
Way to go #199
Told ya
Don’t blame me for that shit.
It’s a hit. But a generous one. At the very least you have to keep that in the infield to keep from allowing the second run.
Bad move not walking Furcal.
Okay, what happened?
Nice, Dusty. 130 pitches for a guy who has more injuries than service time in a meaningless game in a lost season.
That second run is on me. I accept the blame, watch me go on TV and do the same thing too. I love that flashing red light.
The worst part of that play was Todd Walker’s 47 MPH throw the plate. What the hell was that?
Did Ron really want the infield in with TWO outs? Guh.
Hey guys!!!
I’ll blame you for that, Lee. It was a damn ground ball.
I did keep it in the infield, Walker just held the ball like an idiot while I yelled at him to throw home. If he had his head on a swivel, we’d a been outta that vicious cockfight with one run.
Leaving a pitcher in for one batter too many always kills me..
A good manager takes Prior out after the Furcal hit. The last few pitches were on adrenaline only and once the runs score the air goes out of the balloon. But Dusty just enjoys his seat and I’m sure from there he can listen to Prior’s labrum fraying in the breeze.
Didn’t I used to throw 98, and 97? Not a single pitch of mine has been above 95.
Yeah Dusty, we know that too, not to mention taking one out too soon also.
Can’t take him out until he throws a 10 pitch walk to Giles.
Gee, who saw that coming? Anybody?
I have no range at all, shoot me, please.
Gotta dance with the guys that brung ya’, dude. Had to leave Prior in.
It’s okay, Dusty! I’ll pitch the next two innings, too!
Just let my arm fall off and rot!
98? I think you’re confusing me with the other guy who lounges on the DL. I’ve always thrown 93-94.
Prior looks tired. I bet I can bowl him over. Or blow him over.
Or a run scoring hit. Is the man conscious?
Should I push the knife a little deeper??
What the hell do I care? I’m going to be in DC or LA or somewhere else after this season anyway!
Sorry dudes, but I love my dugout seat, It smells of rich mahogany, dudes.
Well, I’m sure that Andy McPhail is satisfied.
Is anyone really surprised at that hit? Particualry after Prior got 2 K’s. Frankly, I’d be more surprised if they got the big hit BEFORE 2 were out.
I ‘m not even upset. I find Cub failures at this juncture amusing, like I did in ’97, ’99 etc. I’m glad I’m not such an affected, deluded manchild like Santo, who’s bellowing sounds like an ungulate in heat, or a broadcaster who’s team is actually losing a critical game.
Now, that being said, there IS one thing that will make my day. It will be to exact some revenge on an underacheiving, worthless-in-the-clutch prettyboyTrixieMale mimbo who stole money while teasing the fans with his potential and was such a wuss that, unlike Mark Grace, he could not play ball with a hangover.
Yes. Bring me the head of Kyle Farnsowrth
I gotta join Baker Basher today. What an awful job of managing. To leave Prior in after he fired the bunt into CF was one thing, but to keep him out there with over 130 pitches is inexcusable. What an idiot.
Me and Donut Jim have faith in Dusty, in fact, we’re thinking about signing him to a 4 year extension. Look at the results! Two straight winning seasons, and one tough luck season. Dusty is the balls.
Whew, I thought Mike D was coming for me.
Great, now it’s off to the Manhole, my favorite tavern.
It sounded like a freight train. Especially the caboose. I’m gay, and my brother is a white collar criminal.
It’s okay, dudes. If I ruin this pitching staff like I did the Giants, then I’ll have an easier time of it when I manage against them next year.
Thanks to the little discussion I had with my brother before getting to the hoosegow, I didn’t have to embarass my cell mate the first time I was required to perform a reacharound.
You should try Cell Block D, bro. Much better talent there.
C’mon Cubbies, you can do it yet.
Blaine Boyer…I think I have a few of his movies.
Anyway we can get Korey a 4th AB? He needs a Golden Shower.
According to me, Blaine Boyer is pitchign to Chipper Jones.
Cool. The Cubs got Chipper.
Now they interview the fucking weatherman during the game. who the hell cares
I am the nuts!! Bitches!!
I suck ass!!
In case you’ve lived under a rock the last 20 years, I love weather!!! If I’m not talking about it, I am socially retarded.
Tom Skilling, he’s got mental problems.
This looks like $100 milllion worth to me.
Brick, will you be holding your celebrity golf outing again this year?
Brick: No. Too many people died last year.
You couldn’t say anything? Even the guy who can’t think said SOMETHING!
Is Korey really 0-3, 3K’s? I guess his Iowa trip was a smashing success…
What would happen if we put Ron Santos brain in Tom Skillings head?
Can I just go away now? I was probably the one who wanted to go on the dl in the first place.
I would fall down, because I still would think I had no legs.
Does anybody think that the Reds will pass us in the standings. who would have thought it even possible with our vaunted pitching staff but i fear it is going to happen. Oh well, theres always next year, right ?????????
Remember how they sent me to Iowa for 10 minutes, I didn’t improve, but they brought me back and started me every day anyway? That was dumb.
We should stop showing up soon, or voice our displeasure more.
I’m the newest gay-tasting no-alcohol shot from Smirnoff.
Shut up and listen to Jim Belushi sing the 7th inning stretch, 260.
Corey, you are much improved. I am brilliant, it’s not like I just take good players from small market teams that can’t afford to keep them. Now, where’s that bearclaw?…Aramis, you had yours, give it back.
Will you ride around in a snowmobile with a fake Russian accent?
Hairston for Lawton?
Whitha thin bench, he pinch hits for the leadoff hitter?
I…I’m not very bright.
I don’t think Dusty likes Lawton much. And in this case, I don’t really blame him.
I might double-switch to get Prior back in there for one more round.
How do you bench Lawton and leave Corey on the game????
Well that worked out just how I wanted it to!
Easy dude, Lawton clogged up my basepaths earlier.
269 was misquoted. He really said IN the game.
Im gonna show this alcoholic pretty boy what’s what.
They told me I was being traded to a contender. Really, I was just traded to Pissburgh West. After learning that, would you try as hard?
Lawton, Patterson, Hairston, do you really care what color deck chair you sit in on the Titanic?
Thanks #272!!
Were you being racists there, CT? All three of them are black.
Although Korey’s had a KKK day….
Remember me bitches!
Time to put a guy on and then serve up my “Bob Scanlan”: 97 MPH fastball, but with no movement.
Heeeeeyyyyy!
*thumbs up
I didnt know Hairston was black!
I’m a dope.
I don’t know why I even try anymore.
C’mon Gremlin! You, too, can be a shitty hitter who tags this yuppie fuck for a big hit!
That’s right Chuck, I was being so racist, that I’m actually several racists.
Guess not. You suck cheetah balls, Macias. Boo!
Who can play Third besides the Gremlin? Walker? Hairston?
Good thing Ramirez hurt himself – we both know he woulda tied the game up there.
How ’bout us?
I need to get Crain-Kicked in the throat!! Please, anyone??
He’s half black.
So I use Wood in a tie game on Monday and when we’re down by two on Wednesday. Brilliant!
move neifi to 3rd and bring up cedeno. maybe we get to see the kids afterall. we just need to keep piling up the injuries.
Hey 293:
Tomorrow’s lineup:
Korey
Neifi
Lee
Burnitz
Macias
Walker
Barrett
Hairston
#293, the nice thing is, Ronny’s already here. Unless they sent him back to Iowa before the game (from what I’ve seen, Nomar is not being put on the DL). Has a guy ever been called up while driving from the big club back to AAA?
At this point even if they brought up old man McClain it couldn’t be much worse than starting Macias at #B for the next few weeks – and he might be old enough that Dusty would consider him a veteran and play him! Nah…
Yes, that’s right, I drove over from Des Moines in my Ford Festiva.
I thought it was a Dodge Dart.
Hey if all goes well, I can be the last out of the game, dusty is one smart dude, dude.
Macias needs to get injured for Cedeno to play.
Maybe we can fed-ex “gremlins” to Dusty for a tutorial.
6-1 versus the Braves for the season is good, no?
Thanks to Andruw Jones’ Patterson-like play in the 8th on DLee’s blooper, Strut himself will have a crack at the golden shower.
AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI AVG
117 Games 409 73 120 27 2 29 91 .293
Not bad
Gotta exercise my legs so I’ll go yell at the umpire. Maybe I’ll have a ham for dinner.
I’m trying to make this interesting.
Let it rain!
Was I supposed to swing?
OK Ok here I come.
Farns, you’re in the wrong place if you’re looking for interesting baseball.
…that doesn’t want Korey to K?
Crap. 3-0
Unfucking believeable
God, that was going to be my ONLY FUN!
What?
3Ks, and 1BOB, I’m HOF material
Just like Francoeur!
KKKK
Ha!
Should I get a vanity plate?
HTE KORY
WOW, now I’m on second, what do I do here
How can you have not one but TWO guys strike out looking in the bottom of the ninth?
Only the Cubs…
In yo face bitches!
*pukes
Anyone think that, for the whole season, there’d only be 3 FYC moments? Even I thought there’d be a few more.
Anybody want my autograph, I’m a big league manager after all?
Yeah baby, now show me to the North Shore Ho’s, gotta get my Jones on.
You have to admit, some of my strikes weren’t even close…not that it matters.
Somewhere, Tonker is hopefully drunk enough not to care, but I wonder if he’ll be cursing this trip. He travelled how far to see this?!?!
GOD WE FUCKING SUCK DOGS BALLS!!!!
It’s gonna be funny when I fuck up in the playoffs and the Braves make another first round exit.
Who cares? He knew they were bad, there are other things to do in Chicago you know.
mc fail
dusty
donnut man
no mas
krisy
triple k patt
f”!#$ gremlin
ara-miss
hollandshet
dumpster
bat flip
lesser
FIRE THEM ALL….just keep Lee, Prior & Carlitos
Feels like an Arby’s night.
Go Tribe.
HaHa!
Yeah #334, the cards are gonna do it this year, right? I’m gonna tear it up in the playoffs, oh wait…I’ve done enough tearing already and I won’t be in the playoffs.
Next Cardinal to miss remainder of season:
Albert Pujols 3/1
Matt Morris 5/2
Larry Walker 1/1
Jim Edmonds 4/1
Yadier Molina 8/1
Jason Isringhausen 2/1
David Eckstein 7/1
Mark Grudzawpkqr;q,dnek 4/3
Ha Ha!