In typical Mark Prior fashion he didn’t do anything flashy yesterday. Sure, he struck out 12 Expos and shut them out using an obscenely low 113 pitches (an average of 3.6 pitches per hitter–think about that, he struck out twelve guys and only averaged 3.6 pitches per hitter–yikes). Oh, and he also singled in a run on a fake bunt. He’s now 2-0 with an 0.60 ERA. In case you’re wondering—that’s good.

But there’s just such an “aw shucks, it’s not that big a deal about him.” You almost want to see him go nuts on occasion. Give a fist pump, stare down a hitter, put on an Elvis cape in the dugout, flip Chip Caray the bird after every pitch…something.

It’s quite possible that Kerry Wood can enjoy a very productive 10 or 12 year career and never be the best pitcher on his own team.

And how typically Cub is it that we finally have a bona fide superstar, a guy so good that nobody can deny his ability, and we’re preoccupied with Kerry Wood and Corey Patterson and Hee Seop Choi? I’m not saying we shouldn’t be interested in them, but we already take Prior for granted. He’s been a pro for a year!

When Jim Hendry talks about the fruits of his farm system (I’m forcing myself to suppress the urge to make a cheap and not that funny of a Mike Piazza joke) he never mentions Prior. It’s like he admits that “the only reason we got him is because the Twins had the first pick and they were too cheap to pay him, so we took him, but really he was too good for our minor league teams to screw up and here he is!”

Regardless of how he showed up, Jim Hendry drafted him and I’f I’m Jim Hendry I’m greeting everyone with, “Hi there, I’m Jim Hendry and I drafted Mark Prior” from now on. Don’t feel guilty because you used the draft to take a guy who was already ready to be a major league stud. Too many can’t miss prospects will miss, for a guy to not enjoy one who doesn’t.

You know you pitched well when the other guy strikes out 14 and walks none and you get all the headlines.

Damian Miller spent the last couple years catching Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson and he sees that kind of potential in young Kerry and Mark. Not bad.

John Paxson isn’t the Bulls GM yet, but I’ll bet the business cards are at the printer.

Groucho has some advice for whoever (Paxson) the new GM is.

I’m not going to draw a direct parallel between Paxson and Hawk Harrellson, but the last time Jerry Reinsdorf turned to the broadcast booth for a GM it wasn’t so good.

But then, Hawk’s a dope and Pax isnt’.

Before Cubs fans want to start mocking Jon Garland, remember this, no matter how bad he is, he’ll never be worse than Matt Karchner.

More creative coaching from Bill Cartwright. The Bulls had the ball at the end of a tie game and he drew up the “Jalen dribbles out the clock and throws up a brick” play. Again.

Greg Couch exposes the Cubs for some shady ticket dealings. There’s no excuse for this. At all.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to toss a bouquet to Mark Prior.

I love the Maloof brothers. And now, I have another reason to. Who knew there were four Maloof boys? This one is not only dating Britney Spears, but he played quarterback in college at New Mexico and at 35 is a former Senator. Damn.

Mike Kiley on the Cubs very chilly shutout of the Expos, and for the first time all year the Cubs are two games over .500! Whoo-hoo! Somebody better tell the Cubs ticket office to start sneaking our playoff tickets over to their broker.

Apparently, Damian Miller and Paul Bako are better than Todd Hundley and Joe Girardi. This would be news, but for the fact that you and I are better than Hollywood and Super Joe, too.

El Pulpo will be back when it’s warm. So, August.

The Wizard of Roz says the Bears over/under for wins is seven. Seven? That’s just for games in September and October, right? Perhaps Vegas doesn’t realize that Kordell Lupus is the new quarterback?

Doesn’t Tony LaRussa ever get tired of being a redass? Sorry, a redass Genius.

Honestly, if I were throwing a party and Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon were coming, I’d cancel it too. They’re always bitching about something. If it wasn’t the war, it’d be the ozone, if not the ozone they’d be bitching that my spicy buffalo wings were too hot. Just go away, already.

Tim the unpronounceable one talks about the bad bullpens in baseball and get this…the Cubs aren’t one of them! Who knew?

I believe that Greg Maddux’s career dissipation light is blinking on high right now. His ERA is eleven! Eleven!

Roy Williams is going to make his North Carolina decision today. The Bill Self to either UNC or Kansas rumors will start 10 seconds after Roy decides.

Shut up, Michael.

The Steve Alford/Pierre Pierce thing just gets seemier and seemier.

Good stuff from Ted Casablanca.

Just when you thought the Michael Jackson specials were over…

America’s finest news source on bad things Geraldo’s done in Iraq.