Pitching matchup:
Houston: Andy Clettitte, 17-9, 2.39 ERA
Atlanta: Tim Hudson, 14-9, 3.52 ERA
Lineups
Houston (89-73)
The Beege, 2b
Wily Taveras, cf
Fat Lance, 1b
Bob Stoops Morgan Ensberg, 3b
Jason Lane, rf
Tony Orlando and Dawn Palmeiro, lf
Adam Big Ears Everett, ss
Dartmouth’s finest (other than Mike Remlinger), c
Clettitte, p
Atlanta (90-72)
The Furcalholic, ss
Marcus Giles, 2b
Larry Wayne Jones, 3b
Druw, cf
Whatever’s left of Julio Franco, 1b
Jeff Franco-eur, rf
Brian Jordan (?) — Why is Lonnie Smith dead –, lf
Ponch, c
Tim Hudson, p
Hey, name another two sport star good enough to play for the Braves and the Falcons!
Other than Deion. Damn him.
Why am I dead? Did I get picked off a curb and dive into traffic?
Remember when I didn’t show up for the first game of a playoff series and it was because I was neck up in coke in a hotel? Those were the days.
The ultimate measure of how good those Braves teams were was that even I could get laid.
Brave.
*tear falls*
Carlos Zambrano: Hey, guys! It’s me, Carlos! Since it’s the offseason, I can use the Internet as much as I want now! Henry Blanco is here and we’re going to break down the Braves and Astros for you at our favorite Web site.
Hank White: Ooh, is this MySpace.com?
Carlos: Anyway, I pitch against both these teams and I keel both of them. They stand no chance against me. I also hit both pitching staffs very hard. Teem Hudson? He got good fastball, but he can’t get it by me. His curveball is like salad, I eat it up, but it no filling. As for the lineups? I tried to hit Lance Berkman in the neck to pay heem back for last year, but I no find his neck. Where is it?
Hank White: Is Charles Gipson on the playoff roster? I hope I no hurt him when I tag his sissy ass to the ground on Thursday. Hee hee.
Carlos: Hank, did you hit a homer off either of these teams?
Hank: I know where this is going.
Carlos: Because I did.
Hank: I bailed you out in one of the Astros games. Would it kill you to throw over to first once in a while? Honestly, Carlos. I’m tired of carrying you. I call your pitches, I throw out all your baserunners and I get on base so you can drive me in.
Carlos: You’re not Paul Bako.
Hank: I know, he got both of his hits in September last year.
Carlos: OK, we need to wrap this up. I have an AOL Messenger appointment with several dozen women at 2:15. We need to make our picks for this series. You go first, Hank.
Hank: I hate to say this, Carlos, but we sucked this year and we beat the Astros around like a pinata. I think this will be Braves in four.
Carlos: I agree with you. Plus, I keel the Astros. They no win after they keeled.
Back to you, in the studio. Or wherever.
Wayne,
I understand you can’t sing for our opener tonight. Something about having a gig with the only pro hockey team in town?
Is that the chick goalie from the Lightning?
Are you sure that’s not me in the suit?
The Braves do not beat themselves. But I do. Repeatedly. Just did it in the hotel before I drove to the park. I always get a little lightheaded afterwards, but in a good way.
Meester Phee-Lups?
Is no funny to pretend you play which yourselve when you really spend your siesta with me.
Meester Phee-lups, why no you say hi to me in hallway?
Brilliant
Was it wrong to have sex with the maid at work. Should I have not done that?
What do I get for appearing on the Desipio pregame? A watch or some Rice A Roni?
What’s the over/under on Eric Karros, “I was on the 2003 Cubs when we beat the Braves and…” stories?
How about a watch made of Rice a Roni?
For the radio folk–
Anybody know where to find the game? The rageaholic, the sell-out Cubs/Sox fan and Jurkovic are on AM-1000.
Did I just refer to the baseball team of choice among meth-addicted wife beaters as the “Potential ALCS-bound White Sox?”
Question–
Do I take Interstate 90 or Interstate 94 to the Motor City?
You all remember that game against the Braves where I hit two HR and then got tomahawked by that punk-ass Fick? I’m sure there will be some discussion today about the Cub pitcher in that memorable game at Wrigley, given his fine effort at 35th and Shields yesterday.
I’m catchin the game via MLB.com’s radio feed. I’m getting 640 WGST out of Atlanta.
Otis, your memory lives on in spirit.
*hic*
I remember my first postgame start, yessir.
Walter Johnson tried brushing me back, but I wasn’t afraid. I hit the next pitch off the Chesterfield Cigarettes advertisement on the left-field wall at Griffith Stadium.
There’s a rocket shot off the bat of the forever young Craig Biggio. Honestly compels me to say that I love that man in the oversized helmet.
Thanks, #20, but the local Disney station (AM-1300) is carrying the ESPN radio feed.
Garner looks like he’s had about six of me.
You want my oversized helmet, Chippy? Come and get it. Again.
I’m suing Biggio for copyright infringement.
If a NL team wins the World Series, all you Cubs fans have to be rooting for me to get it. What’s it say when my success is the least of all evils?
Did Matt Clement take my spot today?
Lane, you dog-blasted, ornery, no-account varmint!
Farnsy could take a comebacker in the NLCS and it wouldn’t leave me conflicted to pull for the Braves in the WS.
No, Tim, you’re just proving me right.
There are people in the bleachers for a playoff game in Atlanta?
Who knew?!?!?
Wheeeeeeeeee!
Brian Jordan earned his keep. For one inning anyway.
Aul see ya in a while #34, I gots me some work ta do.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Has July Frank ever, in his 42 seasons as a major-leaguer, played in a World Series?
Honestly compels me to say I love watching the beege run..
Honesty compels me to to say that the Beege is the best two-strike hitter I’ve ever watched play and that says nothing about what type of two-ball hitter he is.
*PLOP*
Hey Tim, I’m down here… No, no, 60.5′ away and down about 2 feet.
That’s okay, Tim. When I crap MY pants, I just drink heavily.
Considering how often I’ve choked in pressure situations, it’s a miracle I’m still alive.
I’m clutch
Game 1 NLCS. Atlanta. Four walks in less than two innings.
Throw in about 8 wild pitches and I’m starting to feel better about myself.
Let’s hope whatever’s ailing Hudson is also ailing his former Oakland teammate Mulder.
No, July Frank has never danced the big dance
With out me this team would be as bad as the Sooners
I’m just catching up on my celebrity gossip for the day.
Katie Holmes is preggers? Can’t be me, I pulled out of her like really early.
Jessica Simpson and Nick Doucheay are finally admitting their over? That one you can blame on me. It’s not Jessica’s fault I’m irresistable. Nick’s either.
Huh?
Remember when I picked Hudson for the Cy Young? I said it would be him or Pedro, and that they would be one/two in innings pitched. I also said Hudson would win 20 games easily. How’s that working out? And how come BC didn’t mention me during his piece? I’m a complete idiot.
HEADLINE:
By DENISE KALETTE
Associated Press Writer
MIAMI
Alligators have clashed with nonnative pythons before in Everglades National Park. But when a 6-foot gator tangled with a 13-foot python recently, the result wasn’t pretty.
The snake apparently tried to swallow the gator whole – and then exploded.
————
Makes me think of my experience at Fogo De Chao.
The Aliens got to Kaite
Tim Hudson’s pitching like this is a game seven.
Mmmmmm. Fogo De Chao. Guuuuuuhhhhh.
Sideline reporters in baseball. Very useful. It’s not like you already have three guys in the booth.
ESPN treats every game like it’s another Sunday Night Football “fighting for airtime” festival.
Katie’s gonna be the mom. Here’s the dad:
I said I hope the Astros win the World Series because Biggio, Ausmus and Bagwell deserve one. I also said that Ozzie Guillen’s choke signal was just another pathetic attempt to get someone to help him autoerotically asphyxiate himself.
I have no idea how to spell asphyxiate.
And everybody knows that if you need a middle infielder who really knows how to make good chocolate chip cookies that Tony Graffanino is the man.
Go buy the new Ani DeFranco CD.
Next hot rumor is that Britney’s gonna dump Federline.
Britney can’t let Jessica take her career AND her headlines!
Chuck, did that really happen? (no. 51)…got a link?
Andy,
At least Theisman isn’t in the booth with Berman. That would be the last broadcast I’d ever listen to.
go look @ miami.com go to search and type burmese and you’ll find it..Or go to the drudgereport.com
4 IP, 4 runs, 4 walks, 5 hits…and only 64 pitches? How is that possible? A Rothchild coached starter would have 98 by now…
Last winter Dan Bernstein reminded his listeners of the NFL game twenty or so years ago that was broadcast WITHOUT announcers. Anybody else rememebr that game?
Anyway, he contrasted that to the Kelly/McGuire/Theisman Sunday Night ESPN booth, where, instead of the game being constantly silent, it was, instead, devoid of ANY silence. It was a pretty funny observation. Since I heard that, I’ve listened to games with this in mind and it’s practcially true. These guys do not let a moment of dead air pass. When one guy shuts up, another guy immediately picks up the ball. When he shuts up, the third guy picks it up. Like a chain-link.
I’m really happy now! :)
The Cubs held Andruw down completely in 2003 (.059), but he likes Houston.
Last year .529 ba, 1.518 ops (yes 1.518), two homers, two doubles, two walks, five rbi.
I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but during the Vikings-Packers playoff game on FOX last year, I accidentally hit the SAP button. Instead of the Spanish audio, I got all crowd noise, and no announcers.
It was great.
NFL Network had an announcerless game last preseason, and this story about it has the details on the one in 1980 that NBC did during the regular season.
63, I always love the one up manship between McGuire and Theisman. Those two do not like each other at all. It always makes me laugh when they start arguing like a couple of 4 year olds (Sorry to offend any 4 year olds out there).
Now that’s a bunt. I don’t think Mr. Francoeur is one to be rattled by the playoffs.
See why we don’t goto the Ted for the first round? Our team DIES every October
Mike D.
NBC tried a couple of ‘announcerless’ games in the early 80s, I think. They were Dolphins Jets games. I think they tried it for a couple of years. They had someone on stand-by in case there was an odd officiating call. Would be a lot easier to do now (with the improved graphics we are all used to).
Of course, Comcast did the same for some Bulls games last year, although not intentionally.
I hate possums….and cars.
Oops, we should post after we check the score for the first time in 15 minutes
Wait, make that THIS story about the announcerless games.
http://www.nfl.com/nflnetwork/story/7569019
I mean, come on, that’s stretching it. They make the Padilla Flotilla in Philly look brilliant.
We went with the annoucerless-cameraless Sox game this year, too.
My testimony at the Gold Club trial was the best ever.
“Mr. Jones did you see the women engaging in lesbian sex acts?”
“Yes.”
“And what did you do?”
“Both of them.”
The Gold Club was great. Apparently now its a church. I bet the ghost of Patrick Ewing still haunts the place.
I’m good at this. I’ll fit in fine with Len Kasper when Brenly leaves to manage the A’s.
Bozo:
Yes. It really happened. It’s what happens to snakes who DON’T GO TO SHUL ON ROSH HASHANA!
Honesty compels me to admit that it’s people like me who make broadcaster-less games necessary.
They’re rioting in celebration down in Stillwater.
My idiot moran ass obviously meant Norman. Day late and a dollar short?
Hey #75 – do you remember us? We wore big, floppy Chef Boyardee hats, oven mits and waved spatulas. The south will rise again…
Damn, there are a lot of warning track flyouts today.
I don’t see what the problem is with me. Padilla Flotilla!
As heard on WGST Atlanta:
“The bases are loaded and I wish I was.”
If only I fell a little closer to the tree, I would be loaded.
Honesty compels me to say, I am offended at Dad’s reference to alcohol. Me, I’m going to drink some Dasani water, manufactured right here in Atlanta G-A and maybe order a root beer float. That’s clean living, folks.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-cobble/chicago-csinew-evidence_b_8399.html
FYBC!
don’t want BC to get any wrong ideas regarding FYBC!
all I said was: FY Boston College!
Absolutely classic.
Take Game 2, 5-4.
Tony G….YES!!! Thank you Tony G.
We have a few guys that can hit…defense and pitching, not so much.