Only tHom Brennaman would have done what he did. Seconds after the NLCS had ended and the Houston Astros had won their first pennant, tHom started talking about the Cardinals. While the Cardinals fans could clearly be heard booing he and Bob Brenly talked about how classy the fans were. When the strange, almost Sox-like insecurity reared its head in a pathetic “Let’s Go Cardinals” chant as the Astros continued to roll around homoerotically on each other on the mound, tHom talked about how the fans were cheering for the Astros.
Roy Oswalt, a punk for which we have little use, came up huge in Game Six. For a while it looked like he was going to n0-hit the Cardinals. He didn’t need to, since Mark Mulder was crapping his pants on the mound in a deciding playoff game…again.
All week long we’ve been tortured with tales of what a great ballpark Busch Stadium was. What it was, was a dump. A round, soul-less, urine saturated dump, where a strange cult of non-thinking asshats congregated 81 times a season to sweat, soil themselves and watch baseball.
The new stadium likely won’t be much different. The fans will still be the same dimwitted inbred crackers that went to Busch. Sure, the haybales will be fresher and they’ll likely have more convienient parking for their double wides, but not much will change.
The real joy of watching the Cardinals fall short again was, as it’s been since 1996, watching Tony LaRussa sit in a press conference and try to explain why, someone who is purported to be a genius like he is, hasn’t won a World Series game since 1989.
Steve Phillips tried to explain it last night on ESPNews, and since Steve is not exactly a deep thinker, the best he could do was to say that Tony’s greatest strength as a manager is getting every team he manages to grind out game after game. But, Phillips suggested, in the playoffs, every team plays with that kind of intensity, and when Tony’s teams try to ratchet it up even more, they play tight and lose.
I don’t think Steve’s right, though it’s not–for him–a bad thought. I think that Tony’s biggest problem is him. He hates to make obvious managerial moves. How can he remind us all he’s a genius if he makes a move that even Phil Garner could figure out?
The reality at least in this season is that the Cardinals weren’t that good. I looked at them in June, even when they were in first place and even when Rolen was mostly healthy and thought that. At the time I figured the Cubs would be able to gain some ground on them. I didn’t underestimate the Cardinals, I overestimated (by a ton) the Cubs. The Cardinals won 100 games, so they obviously weren’t lousy, far from it. I wasn’t wrong that the Cardinals weren’t as good as they’d been in 2004, I was just wrong in assuming they’d have to be to post the best record in the National League. But from the day the Astros were 16-31 to today, Houston was better than the Cardinals. And Houston’s 2005 team isn’t as good as it was in 2004.
What does that tell you about how far the Cubs fell this year? Woof.
Everybody assumed that the tragic way that Houston coughed up game five was going to doom them. Just like it doomed the 1986 Angels, then the 1986 Red Sox, the 1988 A’s (think about that…a game one homer killed them), and on through the 2003 Cubs and Red Sox.
The difference was that if you really looked at the winners in those series that turned on a dime, every one of those teams was far better than the 2005 Cardinals.
The lineup the Cardinals threw out there last night against Oswalt was easily the weaker than any lineup those winning teams could have trotted out. Yes, even weaker than the 1988 Dodgers.
Given the decay of Walker, Edmonds and Sanders, if you were Oswalt there were only two guys to worry about. You had to keep the Garden Gnome off base and you had to make sure Albert Pujols batted with the bases empty. If you did that, you won. It was that easy.
Yosemite Phil makes fun of his Astros’ offense. He says stuff like “most managers would pinch hit for any of my hitters.” But Houston’s offense, at least the one that showed up for the NLCS was clearly better than the Cardinals. In six games, the Cardinals scored 15 runs. Fifteen.
From the way tHom, Steve and Bob fellated the Garden Gnome, you might have noticed that he hit .200 for the series and went hitless in the four Cardinals losses. In fact, he only was on base three times in the four games the Cardinals lost.
Edmonds hit .211 for the series and his most productive at bat came when he got tossed in game four and John Rodriguez lined out to deep center in his place. Walker retired early with a .158 average for the series, Reggie Sanders figured out that the Astros were not the Padres and hit .167 in the NLCS, and our old buddy Mark Grudzielanek hit .227.
Three Cardinals hit well, and one of them missed two and a half games. Abe Nunez led the Cards with a .385 average. Banjoface Molina hit .318 and Albert hit .304.
The lesser of two evils prevailed in the NLCS, and now an eighth of Chicagoland is excited about the World Series.
Wake us in March.
Brian Billick thinks his defense is as good as the Bears’ (its not) and he thinks his offense isn’t as bad as the Bears’ (its worse). Of course, Brian thinks we can’t tell he’s a balding pseudo-intellectual, too.
The Bears waived Thump Belton? I didn’t even know they had Thump Belton.
The Bulls can at least beat the Celtics. Don’t panic, but Luol Deng hurt his wrist again.
Randy Holcomb is trying to be the Bulls’ fifteenth man. If Antonio Davis doesn’t hurry up and get himself out of New York, Holcomb might end up being the seventh man.
Groucho says that the NBA dress code is just addresses part of what plagues the NBA.
The geniuses at On-Hoops also chime in on the dress code and what Mark Cuban plans to do about it.
Celtics’ guard Tony Allen got to have a sleepover at the Area 4 jail last night. Fun! I wonder if he made smores? (Maybe in his pants.)
This boggled my mind. I heard on Fox Sports Radio yesterday that Leo Mazzone had turned down the Yankees (no shock), but then that Ken Rosenthal was reporting Leo has signed a three-year deal with Baltimore. However…Leo’s best friends (forever!) with new O’s skipper Sam Perlozzo. Leo’s from Maryland and believe it or not, the O’s have a couple of the best young pitching prospects in baseball. Plus, Bobby Cox isn’t going to manage the Braves forever, so it probably makes sense for Leo (who never wants to manage) to take a job he wants if he finds one. Plus, he doesn’t have to work with Chip Caray now. Good news for the National League, anyway. I guess I’m sufficiently unboggled now.
The headline doesn’t quite match the column. Gene Wojc;kjakd;jkjdf;adkski went to Wrigleyville to find out if everybody’s a Sox fan this week and found little to no reponse. Hard to believe a “Go Sox” sign on a bar counts as Sox fever.
Joe Girardi took the Marlins’ job, even though he had “reps” leaking his potential interest in the Cubs’ job in 2006 up until the last minute. I think Joe will do a good job in Florida. And given the way they burn through managers, he’ll be ready to take over the Cubs in 2008. (You know, after Dusty and whatever loser they bring in to replace Dusty.)
America’s finest news source says that President Bush will throw out the first pitch (and the next 119) of the World Series. I’ll bet he strikes out Podsednik in the bottom of the first.
I can’t believe you forgot to mention my error!
There is no way we are making the playoffs next year without Mazzone
Good afternoon. This is Chip Caray, LIVE from the men’s room at Desipio Tower, where I have been assigned to clean out the urinals with my toothbrush. Has Stoney figured out how the visibility will be Saturday?
I finally drove the old bastard out of Atlanta.
Here’s my Mazzone story. At PNC Park before a game in late July of ’04, my friend yelled at Mazzone “Hampton is so bad, even you can’t get him to pitch well.” This was when Hampton was 6-8.
Though he didn’t start in Pittsburgh, Hampton went on to win his next start and then finish the year 13-9. My friend takes credit for Hampton’s turn around.
It’s doubtful, but he definitely got Mazzone’s attention with that comment. Who knows, he might have pissed off Mazzone enough to actually get him to get Hampton pitch well down the stretch.
What was the cheesy Elton John song playing in the background last night as the Astros celebrated on the Big Urinal Cake turf?
Oh, and did anybody catch the montage Fox did of all the great stuff that’s happened at Busch Stadium? They showed a clip of Lou Brock in his baby-blue Cardinals uniform setting a stolen baser record IN SAN DIEGO. And no mention of Big Mac’s 62nd homer off Trachsel.
Dave,
They showed McGwire’s homer, Ozzie Smith’s “Go Crazy Folks” homer off Niedenfuer, the 1982 World Series, etc. etc. pregame.
The McGwire homer still irks me because Cubs like the slumpbuster and Scott Servais were more interested in congratulating McGwire than winning the game. It’s not like they were in a playoff race or anything. And it’s not like that homer cut the lead in half.
They missed out on all the good stuff. Vince Coleman being “Gilooley’d” by the auto tarp, Keith Hernandez snorting the foul lines, Mike Shannon getting shitfaced and throwing up on Jack Buck’s scorecard. Maybe they were saving those for game seven?
I was better than any of these guys in the World Series. They’re not getting my HOF vote!!
Gotta love that the White Sox are rallying around Journey’s “Don’t Stop, Believing”, quite possibly, the worst-written, lamest, wussiest song performed by one of the worst, lamest and wussiest bands in the history of human beings.
If I were a Sox fan, I’d die of embarassment.
AJ– we’ve known forever that you’re an asshole. But we didn’t know you were such a pussy, too.
Yeah, they’re going to all lengths to get Steve Perry to come to a World Series game and I think I saw on a VH1 special a few years back that he doesn’t want anything to do with Journey anymore. Maybe he can sing “Oh, Sherry”.
Paul White wrote a story in the current Sports Weekly about what a raging rectum AJ is. He forgot to mention the story about AJ punching the Giants’ trainer in the nuts.
Honestly, would it take “great lenghths” to get Steve Perry to appear, anyplace?
I’d have to believe he’s available.
All I did was ask him what the capital of Thailand is.
The girl who played Sherri in the video was haaat. Who was she?
The highlight of your season featured parrotheads. That’s as embarrassing as it gets. How can Mike D still be breathing?
I got no problem with Buffet.
His music may be schmaltzy, but he was good enough for Steve Goodman to have hosted him in the bleachers in the 1970’s. That’s good enough for me.
What’s Steve Perry’s connection? That he got his ass kicked in Armor Square by a bunch of fag-bashing rednecks from Bridgeport?
Apparently Ray King is complaining about not being used in any of the playoff games for the Cardinals, and even suggested he might be traded in the offseason.
Are they closing down all of the Burger Kings in St. Louis or something???
The highlight of the Cubs’ season was their play against the 2005 World Champion Houston Astros, the NL runner-up Cardinals, the AL Champion White Sox and the AL Wild Card Red Sox. They were something like a combined 10 over .500 against those clubs.
It’s just with the rest of the Big Leagues that the Cubs are struggling.
Sorry, forgot to include this in the last comment. Here is a part of an article from the Cardinals website:
“I think Flo [Randy Flores] did a great job the times that he pitched, but I’m bitter,” King said after the Cardinals were eliminated from the National League Championship Series in six games. “We had eight games, nine games after the last game of the season, and I was pretty much a spectator. If I can’t pitch here, then I can pitch somewhere else.”
King missed much of the Division Series due to the death of his father. He attended the funeral on Tuesday, Oct. 12, and was back with the team and in uniform for the start of the NLCS. Manager Tony La Russa called on Randy Flores to pitch twice in the LCS. King warmed up in Wednesday’s season-ender, but was not called on.
“I talked to Tony in Houston, and he said, ‘You went through a lot with your dad,'” King said. “I understand that, but if I didn’t want to pitch, I would have stayed at home. I was here, wanting to pitch. I didn’t get a chance to pitch. Certain situations, I might have gotten a chance to pitch.”
King signed a two-year contract with an option for 2007 over the past offseason. He left open the possibility that he might be traded over the winter, however.
“I’m still under contract,” he said when asked whether he expected to return in 2006. “Just leave it at that. I’ll talk to my agent. Hopefully I’ll sit down and talk with Walt [Jocketty, general manager]. Right now, I’m maybe upset, jumping the gun, but I’ve earned a lot of respect being a left-hander in this game, and I feel like right now I was disrespected. Not pitching in one game, not even an out.”
Here are my questions about this…
1. How does a pitcher get nicknamed “Flo”?
2. If I’m Walt Jocketty, I don’t want Ray mad at me.
3. If you are suggesting you are going to get traded, guess what? You are usually going to get traded.
You’re a fag-bashing redneck. Where’s your clan from? Not Bridgeport, I assume.
I have known fag-bashing rednecks, and Mike D. ain’t one of them.
1. When Dave Duncan calls on you, say “Kiss my grits.”
2. People in fat houses like yourself shouldn’t throw whoppers.
3. Hopefully it’ll take them the whole offseason to move Big Ray and all they’ll end up with is Jerry Hairston. Junyah.
And besides, what exactly is Burger King’s palette of excellence that suggests that he and only he should be called upon in a big game?
Hendry needs to sign Ray King for 6 million! Our bullpen’s terrible and the only solution is to blow a bunch of cash on guys who have proved themselves elsewhere!
Donegal, Ireland and Wilson Avenue, Chicago.
And Steve Perry sucks pachyderm ass. Deal with it.
It’s OK Mike, you already got a voucher from the pederast puppet thing.
#18-The Cubs split the series with the Sox. That was your World Series. Hope you enjoyed it.
People who like to throw out fancy words–like the Steve Perry fan in #26–often end up sounding like me.
For you see, you poor, lonely sad troll, a pedarast is a man who has sexual relations, especially anal intercourse, with a boy.
A pedophile, on the other hand, is an adult who is merely sexually attracted to a child or children. No action taken.
Sloth is neither, really. While the girls for whom he lusts are technically underage, they’re hardly “children”. However, if you must, the word you’re looking for would be pedophile, unless you want Sloth to find out who you are and sue you for libel.
Interesting choice not to count the AL East Champion Yankees too.
8-year-olds, Dude.
It was probably that pederast, Hanrahan.