It’s true, the Chicago Cubs are a haven for steroid abusers. Deadspin.com is reporting the long rumored American League playoff team outfielder who tested positive for steroids is none other than former Cub, Matt Lawton.
That means that of the 12 players who have tested positive under the Major League Baseball phase of steroid tests, a third of them are former Cubs.
If you’re counting at home that’s Jorge Piedra, Rafael Palmeiro, Felix Heredia and now Lawton. Granted, Piedra only had a cup of coffee with the Cubs, Palmeiro’s been gone since the winter of 1988, Felix has been on three teams since he left the Cubs and Lawton was a Cub for less than a month, it still proves that the Cubs love the roided up guys and Dusty Baker should be fired.
Hey, a guy can try, can’t he?
They gave me Manny Alexander’s old locker and I think I sat on a needle.
You rag unprovoked and unmercifully on anything and everything and yet when somebody posts a pejorative comment about you, you take it off. So I am confused, are you more of a hyporcrite or a whimp?
Lassie tried the old “sit on a needle” trick with me, too.
Hey everybody, it’s Alex Kaseberg (#2)!
Alex, you didn’t post in this thread. Yours is still right where you put it.
By the way, given the quality of your comedy, it’s ironic that you are poster number two.
Does anybody have “Guy who misspells hypocrite while trying to prove he knows big words gets run over by a transit bus” on their radar?
Huh? What did I miss?
BTW, I just saw a guy with the first name of Pierre in the hallway at work this morning.
Hey Sanjay, clean the dot off your head and then answer the computer help question wrong.
Matt’s defense seems logical to me.
Wait, did you say something? Let me take my ear plugs out. OK, what was that?
Wait, he spelled wimp wrong, too. You would think that’s a word he’d know too well.
Here you go, Dave.
https://www.desipio.com/2005/10/31/another-game-winner-from-our-pal-jeff/#comment-76900
Kaseberg! Sanjay! Get back to work. You’ve got a column to help me finish!
Hey, I know how to spell hypocrite you pedantic moran
Nah, #2 ain’t me. I would have called him Andy “Dill” Dolan.
I’m flattered that Alex, Andy, and Sanjay would fight so flamboyantly over who gets the most attention in my column.
Ahhh! My eyes! I saw Alex Kaseberg’s curious post and I clicked on his link and was exposed to his, um, “jokes.” Say something funny. Somebody.
First it was that hollywood hillbilly in the message boards and now it’s some ‘comedy writer’ trolling the comments. Makes you kinda miss the Sox fans…
… or the CubsTalk contingent.
T.J. Thanks for reading, but our target audience isn’t shut in porn loving retirees from Phoenix
Ha ha, so much for your prolonged and idiotic speculation that one of the World Champions was the guy who cheated.
that’s better…
#18, shooting for Florida, eh?
And don’t you owe somebody an apology for comment #2, tough guy?
I’m just amazed he’s got me pegged so well. Other than being retired and living in Phoenix that is.
Yeah, it’s tough to imagine a guy who loves porn would be surfing the internet.
After reading this, I really want to go to sleep at work… I’m trying to think how many games the roided up Lawton won for the Buccos… probably less than his poor baserunning lost.
Milwaukee, Phoenix, what’s the differance?
Is there any proof a little more concrete than Deadspin?
Why are you still here?
Hey, did anyone see that I got picked up for DUI? I should have known I was drunk when I laughed at an Alex Kaseberg joke.
Add me to the list of drunk Bears QBs in history.
Well it’s been fun playing in your little sports dorks tree house, but, alas, I must go out into the part of the world where men have actually had sex with real-life, offline women.
No, but keep hitting them with that nerd baseball trivia stuff, truly, chicks dig that.
You mean he did it again?
Newsday says baseball will announce it’s Lawton.
http://www.newsday.com/sports/baseball/yankees/ny-splawton1103,0,664889.story?coll=ny-sports-headlines
Insulted by a jobless, talentless hack “comedian”. Oh, the humanity.
Beat it, Alex.
Those steroids didn’t help my power, but it sure did help me not take walks, just like Dusty wanted.
Oh shit! I’m being quoted by Kaseberg!
Since you asked:
Believe or not, loyal readers, this little attempt to provide a few free grins has come under fire from some apparently very important self-titled comedy experts. Oh well, to them let me quote our feisty 26th president:
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
That�s right, I hung a Teddy R. quote on them.
But seriously, if you are a fan or not, thanks for reading all the same. Although I admit it happens way too much in here, nobody deliberately ever tried to write a bad joke. Well, except maybe for Andy Kaufman, but he had big brass ones. Just try to remember that writing jokes is a lot like baseball: hit .300 and you go to the Hall of Fame. That and you get to spit and scratch yourself a lot.
Alex, you douche, I was talking about those who do things that matter, who face real pressure, not pansies like you who write bad jokes ABOUT those in the arena.
Can’t you quote some other president like Waren G. Harding, Millard Fillmore, or Rutherford B. Hayes?
Oh no you don’t! I have a legacy to think about here, and I don’t want the Teapot Dome scandal tarnished by some stupid “sounds like a football stadium” joke.
Thanks, CT, I’ll try to remember that. Hey, what time does your meals-on-wheels arrive there in Phoenix? Right after you “log-off” Barely Legal?
Yeah, a guy who trolls message boards must be getting laid left and right.
Alex! Have you been playing around with my imaginary wife again!
What’s up with your weird obsession with Phoenix? And you’d think a guy who stole most of his jokes from Bob Hope and Milton Berle would have a little more respect for the elderly.
got salad?
Intrepid Loser #29. Oddly, although I was once falsely attacked by moran racists in here as being Jewish, even though I am not Jewish, I get laid from right to left.
That’s why we’re here right?
Fuck you, Alex!
And yes, slumpbusters love it when I tell them my OPS month-by-month during that magical 1995 season! Gets them EVERY time.
Hmm, so you losers like us totally disgust you, but you’re constantly trying to impress us. Huh.
While Alex gets laid from right-to-left, the Loyola Ramblers will be going from left to right on your radio dial in the first half this evening against UW Green Bay.
He’s… not Jewish? That must explain why he’s not funny!
Now let’s kick off all the anti-semitic racists off of here!
confused by andy: got salad?
I need to go play in traffic.
Since you are not a Jew, I will call my Pakistani cousin and tell him not to bomb the White Castle you work at.
Yes! I knew it! My critics at Desipio are nothing but a bunch of racists!
dudes with this worthless dude roaming the site dudes
everybody forgot duddes that oficially today there’s exactly
one year till my contract expires dudes.
Won’t anyone think of the children?
Funny, he didn’t LOOK Druish.
When you write a joke, try to have a punchline.
It makes it so much more enjoyable for the listener!
In whatever game Matt Vasgersian and I did on Sunday, Vasgersian made a joke about how a running back was doing “The Steve Perry. There was a lot of lovin’, touchin’ and squeezin’ on that play.”
To which I replied, “Yeah, it’s the Aerosmith!”
I made an intentionally bad Michael Jackson joke on The Office last night. It got more laughs than whatever Kaseberg was trying with the first joke on his little site.
The guys here think I’m Jewish, too!
Steve Perry? Lovin’, touchin’ and squeezin’? Sounds like last Wednesday, mang! That was fung, mang!
CT, err, Teddy Roosevelt insulted those who only wrote about but don’t participate in sports? Hey, Sanjun, how do you spell hypocrite again?
What’s next? Am I going to run into Chuck at Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help next Sunday?
You may. Matt Murton’s Eldest is invited to OLPH for a carnival with our next door neighbor.
Good. Be sure to spend lots of money. We can use it.
Has Murton’s son ever been to a Catholic carnival? You’d be better off taking Jose Macias’s son until Murton’s has some experience with that.
I’ve read over 100 of Alex’s “jokes”, and I think I can say without qualification that he’s not funny.
Sorry, Jim. Fat, moronic porn-hating play-by-play announcers living in Montgomery are not my target audience.
C.T., err, Jim Tocco, what a rich and full life you must have. Now put out the Lucky Strike, down that last sip of Thunderbird, clap to turn off the light and go to bed. Tomorrow is bingo in the dining room, you know.
I want my pudding!
Dammit, Kasseberg! Boras won’t return my calls, the Sox are done, and the Blackhawks are lifeless! Write some unfunny material, stat!
“The Protestants hate the Catholics, and everyone hates the Jews..”
My sources tell me that Kaseberg is not only a complete tool, but an un-funny one taboot.
Reading the Newsday link about Matt Lawton, he seems to be very ashamed that he tested positive for steroids. I honestly don’t know why. Doesn’t he know that, according to leading medical experts and best-selling authors, steroids can add 30 years to your life? (I don’t know where Jose Canseco got his medical degree from, but I’m pretty sure it was someplace very prestigious.) And in addition to that, he can now write a sleazy book, and it’s guaranteed to be a best-seller! Is this a great country, or what?
Kaseberg, stop weezing the juice…
“attacked as being Jewish”? You dumb ass. That’s a compliment.
My sources say that the Iranians want Israel wiped off the face of the earth. Anyone else hear this?
Wow, while I was gone I was accused of being both Teddy Roosevelt and Jim Tocco, smoking Lucky Strikes and drinking Thunderbird. It’s been quite a day.
I clicked onto your website, Alex, and didn’t crack a smile from any of your so-called “jokes”. Hit .300? You don’t hit .100. You’re not even the Michael Jordan Birmingham Bulls equivalent of a comedian. I’m not saying this to hurt your feelings, it sucks to try and fail. But you’re trying, and you’re failing. And worse, you’re in denial. A butcher’s not a surgeon, although both work with sharp instruments, and though you write, you’re not a comedian. Because you’re not funny. Because you’re not clever. But don’t take my word for it — take your BEST “jokes”, put them into a book proposal, and try to find a publisher. Not some lithograph in someone’s basement, but a real, live, we-pay-advances-and-royalties publisher. Oh, hell, just get an AGENT to shop your proposal around. Somewhere amongst the river of rejection you will face, it will dawn on you that people aren’t buying what you’re selling because they’re Andy Dolan acolytes, or because you’re Jewish, or anything else — but the simple fact that experienced businessmen would universally judge your “writings” to be not special enough to attract a commercial audience. You are wasting your life writing bad “jokes” for people who are wasting their lives reading them (there’s a reason your web site is unadvertised; the only way that dump would see any revenue would be as part of a money-laundering scheme). At least you are right about one thing: your attempt at providing “a few free grins” is truly “little”.
Hey, the girl on the right of that picture in the Dose before this one is kind of cute.
Discuss.
…”I must go out into the part of the world where men have actually had sex with real-life, offline women.”
are clearly NOT getting laid.
I just can’t beleive Rozner includes bits that were obviously written by a 12-year old.
Although it’s in a way that he could never have intended, Alex Kaseberg deserves credit for playing a central role in one of the funniest “Comments” section since the end of the baseball season. I’m just reading them now and I find them extremely entertaining.
Thanks, Alex!
You douche.
dcexile, thanks for proving my theory that the harshest humor critics have no sense of one at all. You are clearly an angry bitter man who has nothing to do late at night but try and deeply hurt and insult the writer of a free blog. How fulfilled you must feel.
Just because you take out the garbage at the Tribune Company and are a frustrated go-for doesn’t qualify you as a writing expert, comedy or otherwise.
But, hey, thanks for reading. Maybe you can use your contacts at the want ads to help you find a life.
OK, Wang. Don’t tell Kaseburg you’re Jewish.
What caused him to reappear anyway? I know he was whining about being linked to and made fun of, but I can’t find any recent examples of him being picked on. At least not in the volume that he was in the past.
It’s amazing that Confused By Andy is able to divine everyone’s career. Perhaps he has a future guessing people’s weight at Great America.
(Note: I’m not guessing CbA’s profession, I’m projecting)
Hey Gitles,
I don’t suppose you know someone who could guess people’s weight? You see, we’re having this carnival at OLPH, and…
I do, Father. But he’s Jewish. I’m guessing the last Jew who could divine anything in a church setting was this rabbi from Bethlahem…
I went over to thordoggie (the Sulu-Vulcan Death grip joke was unworthy of even Colin Farrell) and saw his little sitemeter link. He’s so proud of the hits he gets, he keeps the stats private.
Well, my little corner of the internet gets an average 946 hits per day (granted 832 of them are my own waiting to see if Brian has corrected my grammar).
I wonder how many Thor gets?
Correction, Mr. Hoops. I also said we have to remove the United States from being an arrogant super power. Let’s get our total destructions right. But, I digress. Anyone know where I can get good falafel?
Chuck, if you keep putting pictures of that Loop chick up, you’ll be getting 800 hits a day…and that’s just counting my visits.
As a matter of fact —
I have a good sense of humor, with an appreciation for Sam Kinison and Rodney Dangerfield in particular. I also know “funny”; as an executive with Macmillan Publishing, we published Sniglets (jokes people actually paid for). I also evaluated projects at Simon & Schuster and Random House. So I know a little something about publishing.
I also respect the written word. You do not. You waste the reader’s time and you know it. Learn to read, I said “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings”. You are not funny. Seriously, you don’t have it. You’re like John Henry Williams. It’s pitiful. Don’t waste your life trying to do something you have no talent to do. As I said before, no one would ever buy a collection of your best jokes. I didn’t say that to hurt your feelings, I said it because I thought that, if you really put your writing to the test, you’d find there’s no market for it, and maybe you’d move on to do something constructive with your life. I strongly doubt you could even interest a significant agent, let alone a publishing house.
Finally, this: there is NEVER any excuse to do less than your best. You can’t give it your best, don’t do it at all, you cheat yourself and your audience. Your blog may be free, but readers invest their time and interest in reading your “jokes”. The reality is you don’t do better because you can’t. At least stop lying to yourself and your audience.
Hey Mike D., what kind of pudding are they serving you guys at the old folks home today? We’ve got tapioca, bleah.
I am the Knute Rockne of the publishing world.
CT,
The Albert Pujols Special–
Creamed Corn with a ginger cookie.
What? Your plane crashed into a Kansas cornfield? Publish one for the Gipper.
dcexile, my you have a lot of time to offer career advice. Your writing career hit a little snag, did it? Never got that opus great American novel published so now you spend your time trying to crush other’s hopes? I take it back, you are a ton of laughs.
How sad that you feel compelled to provide your qualifications. Executive? Is that what they’re calling bitter, aged charity case interns in these days of politically correct inflated titles?
Maybe if they move you up to obituaries at the Tribune you can afford to upgrade to windows XP.
Here is a little writing insight: if you don’t like my jokes, don’t read them. I would have thought a big time “publisher” like you could figure that out.
My death gave Ted Stryker a drinking problem.
Uh oh, CT is up at the old folks home and is perusing my blog. If that laxitive hasn’t kicked in this could hurt. He gets grumpy without his Metamucil.
Mike – Sweet, I won’t even have to put in my teeth.
(my you have a lot of time to offer career advice)
But, i have time to post on a message board so….
(Your writing career hit a little snag, did it? Never got that opus great American novel published so now you spend your time trying to crush other’s hopes?)
Please, stop trying to crush my hopes. That’s all I clearly have or I’d have remarked how my success voids that comment.
(How sad that you feel compelled to provide your qualifications)
I wish I had qualifications.
(Maybe if they move you up to obituaries at the Tribune you can afford to upgrade to windows XP.)
Well, that is a step up from unpaid closer for Rosner.
(Here is a little writing insight: if you don’t like my jokes, don’t read them.)
He wasn’t reading before, it’s not like I’m chasing away a prospective reader.
CBA (aka Rozner’s retarded nephew Kaseberg) writes (in #95):
“Here is a little writing insight: if you don’t like my jokes, don’t read them.”
But you see, dear little Alex, your jokes are SO bad that it’s hard NOT to read them. I genuinely thought yours was a parody site it was so bad. Realizing it was in fact real made me frightened, then sad then, in light of your delusional arrogance, THRILLED that I could get such cheap laughs (although nowhere close to the way you had intended) for free.
Keep ranting here. You’re only feeding the beast that is Desipio Nation when you do. We had all forgotten about you until you trolled up yesterday. For your own sake, and what little dignity you may have remaining, why don’t you quietly, slowly, step backwards out of the room and never return?
Again, this would NOT be as a favor to us. Your unintenionally hilarious existence has brightened up a typically slow day during the baseball offseason for us, but disappearing seems to be the best route for YOU to take.
Dear 100: Do BIG time writer/editor/publishers REALLY have to use this cheesy, affected style to highlight in CAPS their otherwise weak WRITING?
WHAT’S next, ending with repeated???????? or !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I take it back, this being an angry, mean-spirited critic-thing is kind of fun. Thanks, guys, I’m starting to get this.
I thought I did a pretty good job of stealing that classroom scene from the great Rodney in “Back To School”. And don’t forget my classic bit as a guardian angel in “Married With Children”.
Oh, by the way, my ghost writer wants to know if the guy who works for MacMillian will get someone there to reply to the resume he sent them in, uh, I think it was about 1977.
One last thing, tell Ahmed that there ain’t any vestal virgins up here. Gotta go now….
Hey!!!!! What’s wrong with repeated punctuation to emphasize your point?!?!?
Making fun of me seems quaint now, doesn’t it?
I’m sorry you are so bitter. Obviously, you can’t accept well-intended criticism. Editors criticize. That’s how writing gets better. Waste your life writing unfunny “jokes” if you want. But you will waste your life, because you lack the talent for it. And if it hurts your feelings, too damn bad, it’s the truth. I though Chicago was all out of pussies, I guess things have changed since I left. The truth hurts, and I told the truth (and you know it). Sucks to be you.
You brought up my qualifications; you went for the cheap laugh by intimating that I was a menial employee and a failure. I mentioned them to let you know that I do, in fact, know what I’m talking about.
I never tried to write The Great American Novel. In fact, I never tried to be a writer, yet I got three sports books, a tax book, and a personal finance book published. (The sports books I did for the experience, the others because publishers thought I was good.) The baseball book sold 180K copies. I’m not bragging, just rebutting your assertion that “my writing career hit a little snag”. Let me know when you publish a book that is actually sold in a bookstore, OK? My primary occupation was as a senior acquisition editor, which involves author recruitment and marketing; I left books for software in the early 90s, and the Internet followed. Again, not bragging, just rebutting your pitiable slurs.
All that said, if I WAS a night go-fer at the Tribune, the accuracy of my prior statements would still be the same. You lack talent. You can take it from me, or take it from the market, but you lack talent and you are wasting your life attemtping to do comedy. I’m not trying to “crush your hopes”; I’d like to be an NFL defensive end, but at 5-10 and 170, it’s not happening. At some point, no matter how much denial you’re in, you will be unable to escape the realization that you’ve wasted your life. For your sake, I hope that realization comes sooner than later.
Did somebody actually brag about publishing “Sniglets” in here? That makes me horribly sad.
Hey, why didn’t ANYONE tell me ABOUT this classy use of caps????????? I guess you learn STUFF like that at big time EXECUTIVE publishing school for big shots.
NOTICE how at draws attention to my brilliant WRITING? Why didn’t I know about this when I was alive?
And here I thought your comments were intended to be hurtful. Your touching concern warms my bad-comedy-writing heart.
Go Yankees!!!!!
Let me see if I have this straight…
1. Alex Kassenberg is a writer. Does he make a living at it? I’m just asking.
2. Alex Kassenberg does not take to criticism well. He must not make a living at writing.
3. Alex is Confused by Andy?
4. In previous posts he was Andy “Dill” Dolan?
5. Alex gets quoted in Rozner’s column.
6. I just read through some of his blog. Apparently he’s a comedy writer? In the same manner that ‘Rhinestone Cowboy’ or ‘Police Academy 4’ was comedy?
This is all very confusing, but I am easily confused.
Remember my line to Judge Schmales “Hey Whitey, where’s your hat?”
Hey, dcexile, where are your caps?
See, now that is comedy.
You can’t even spell his name right, dumbass.
This is the Special Olympics of journalism wannabes and idiots right here.
Aw, shit, Scott, why don’t you scuff up a couple more balls and call it a “split-fingered fastball?”
Is there a bigger loser on this planet than me? No, didn’t think so.
Just like CT, I just spent hours re-reading my own jokes, and you know what? You all are right. My jokes couldn’t suck more if they were on a drunken boat cruise with the Minnesota Vikings.
OK, how was that? Better? Too obvious? Shoot. I knew I should have used more caps.
Hey 100, so I’m a citizen of Desipio Nation. I have a couple of questions:
Is this nation more like Canada, Vatican City, or Afghanistan?
Can I claim citizenship and residency and avoid US Income taxes?
Will there be a draft?
Can I become an ambassador to Desipio Nation and avoid paying parking tickets in Chicago?
I need to know these things.
Who’s jokes am I re-reading? What the hell?
Hey, my concerned buddy, dcexile. Check out all the loser comedy writers in this column:
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun034495390nov03,0,2981282.story?coll=ny-viewpoints-headlines
There’s plenty of good material by Carlin, Kinison, Prior, C. Rock (who KILLED in person at the Warner three years ago), Dangerfield, Lewis Black, why waste time on second-raters? Besides, leaving Newsday behind was one of the best things about leaving New York behind (right after, leaving New York behind).
Plus I’m huge in Australia
http://www.smh.com.au/news/sport/any-which-way-but-lose-wayne/2005/10/21/1129775964061.html
And don’t forget Saskatoon, I am HUGE in Saskatoon.
Hey, I only use three punctuation points after most of my sentences, not nine or some big number like that. (… for all my “fans” out there.)
Speaking of Australia, it has been fun Popping the Lolly, as the Aussies say with dcahole, i.e. ranking on self-important stuffed shirts.
Now I am stealing lines from Spinal Tap.
This confused by Andy guy is more unpopular than me. Thanks for that.
I thought I stole a few scenes from the great Rodney in that movie where he had to lose weight to inherit a million dollars.
Before you go knocking my man Rodney, he was the only guy to do me in a swim dive.
Yes, I kicked ass.
Got around to checking out your links. Of the Newsday jokes, the only one I thought was funny were by Leno and Tina Fey. The others were lame, looks like the editor needed to fill space. The Australian ones were pretty lame too. (“Let’s watch Leno instead?” Sheesh.) Sorry.
Judging from your reaction and your inability to let this thread die, I _really_ think you should reevaluate your career direction. Comedians are criticized as much as anyone, and my criticisms really seem to have struck a nerve. And, instead of reexamining your output or direction, you’ve simply lashed out blindly. That’s not going to make you a better comedian or person.
Art is honest. It is personal. You or I could tell Sam Kinison’s jokes, and it wouldn’t be as funny, because those routines were personal to Sam Kinison. Granted, I’m judging from a few minutes reading the jokes in your blog (that was as much as I could bear), and two of what I guess you consider your best work from the above-listed posts, but there’s no personality in your jokes. You write as if it were an assignment, and so your jokes aren’t funny. If you really cared about your jokes, you wouldn’t crank out set-ups and add three different punch lines (if you have three punch lines, you don’t have a punch line); there’d only be one punch line, the true punchline. You’ll probably take offense, but so be it: you are a hack. The epitome of a hack. The brilliant comedians, on the other hand, are artists. You don’t have to be a genius to do comedy (although the absolute best ones are), but you could at least adopt a workmanlike approach to your work, like settling on the best punchline for a joke, or honing your writing. If you have time to troll this site, you have time to perfect your craft. I don’t spend a lot of time here, or post a lot, because I devote most of my hours to doing that for which I am paid. I’d suggest you do the same. Proving to me that you are good is (a) probably pointless, given the body of your work I’ve seen to date, unless Alex Kaseberg is really the pen name for Harold Ramis and (b) not nearly as important as your actually being good. And you won’t get any better at comedy writing spending your time making snarky posts on Desipio.
One more point regarding the “unemployed” cracks: Book publishing is a dying industry. Some of the best editors I’ve known have been fired. The editor of the best-selling sports book in history no longer works for the publisher. That’s why I jumped into software; I saw the writing on the wall. But then, I don’t love books the way others do, who stayed in the industry and ultimately lost their jobs. “Unemployed” is not a reflection of your character or intelligence, it is simply a status. Mocking someone for being unemployed says a lot more about the character of the speaker than the subject.
Alex, the world needs ditch diggrers too.
Go fuck yourself so bored-snotty self-important prick. Ahhhh ahhhhhhhhhh
OK, we got it, dcexile, you have beaten that dead horse into glue. You don’t think I’m funny. Message received. You and your little friends in here all agree on that.
Here is my question: what in the world makes you think that your opinion means anything at all to me? Because you’re a failed pompous alleged editor? Obviously you are also world class, warped, frustrated, humorless pain-in-the ass with way too much time on your hands. The fact that you don’t like me or my jokes could be considered nothing less than a badge of honor.
Please, go annoy somebody else. This is officially over. I am not bludgeoning any more time on this as I cannot afford it. My time happens to be valuable. You can respond all you want to this – as I am sure you will as you clearly have nothing else to do – but I won’t be reading it. It will be pure mental masturbation on y our part, one thing I am sure you actually are an expert on.
Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.