You can tell we’re all Chicago sports fans, because here we are with an 8-3 football team, winners of seven games in a row (I should point out the Bears are unbeaten since three generations of Dolan men took in the Minnesota game in person) and owners of the game’s most dominant defense, and yet, we still find something to complain about.
The Bears offense hasn’t been awe-inspiring, and the team is the first since the Bears of the ’30s to win six straight games while not scoring more than 21 points in any of them.
To this, I say, “So what?”
Everybody keeps saying that the Bears have to be able to score 24, 27 or even 30 points to win a playoff game. That’s all well and good. But who exactly is going to score 23, 26 or 29 points on the Bears’ defense?
Carolina was supposed to do it, they scored three. Tampa Bay was at home and had topped 30 points in both of their previous two games, they got 10.
Would it behoove the Bears’ offense to get better? To get more than 15 first downs? To score more than touchdown in a game? Sure. But why let the nitpickers get you down? These Bears are pretty good. The defense is more dominant than we dreamed even four weeks ago. Kick back, relax and enjoy the fact that it’s November 28 and the Green Bay Packers have already been eliminated from the NFC North race. The Bears have a two-game lead, and only the suddenly coherent sex boaters from Minneapolis even have a shot at them (and that’s not a particularly good shot).
One of the most encouraging things about Kyle Orton’s 11 game run to slightly-better-than-mediocrity is that not only does it look like the guy’s eventually going to be a really good NFL quarterback, but if you’d been told back in August when Rex Grossman broke his foot that the Bears would start only one guy at quarterback before Rex was ready to suit up, you’d have been happy. If you’d been told that even when Rex was ready to suit up there’d be no great need to start him, you’d have been depressed, because you’d have assumed hte Bears were 3-8 or worse. Instead, the Bears don’t need to throw Rex into the fire because things are going too well.
There’s a guy, who like clockwork runs to the Moranboard on the home page after every Bears game to tell us how bad Kyle Orton is. It’d be more effective if the Bears hadn’t won the game every time he’s posted. One of these days they’ll lose again, and I hope he doesn’t tear his hammy off the bone trying to get to his Tandy in time.
Maybe the Bears have made 13 the new magic number? You know what their record would be if they’d only scored 13 points in every game? 8-3. Of course if they’d scored 25 points in every game they’d be 11-0, but who’s counting? Oh, I guess I was.
Yesterday’s game was over the minute Robbie Gould booted in his second field goal to make it 13-3, because you knew their was no way the Bears would give up 10 points or more in the fourth quarter.
Then the Bucs went on a 50 yard TD drive (not that it would have mattered, but how can you get a 10 yard penalty on a punt return on the Bears’ 45 and end up on the 50 to start the drive?), and when Mike Alstott launched himself over the line and into the end zone, Bears’ fans had the strange sensation of realizing they’d forgotten what it looked like to see the other team score a touchdown. (It’d been 38 drives and four games ago).
Then the Bucs went on another drive and looked like they might score a second touchdown. That’d be typical Bears, wouldn’t it? Go four games without a touchdown then give up two in the last seven minutes of a game? But Alex Brown gave Chris Simms a nice kiss on the head on a third down pass that fell incomplete and Matt Bryant missed a 29 yard field goal (by about a foot, I still haven’t seen a TV replay that looks like the kick missed). Thomas Jones got a first down so that almost no time would be left when Tampa fielded their punt. One Walleye Ogunleye sack later the Bears were 8-3 and have now beaten all three NFC South teams they’ve faced. If they beat Atlanta in Chicago on December 18 they will win both the NFC North and South. Right? Somebody call Tags and have him get the trophies ready.
There were a lot of good things that came out of the game. First, the Bears won and clinched a non-losing season! Whoo! High five! Get the t-shirts ready!
Bobby Wade lost his punt returner job after another fumble (thankfully the Bears didn’t lose the ball). Not only will Bobby not be returning punts, but he’s a longshot to be active for the last five games.
Chris Harris continues to pound anything in his vacinity to the turf. Look at him without his helmet on sometime. If you walked into a hardware store and saw a tool shaped like Chris Harris’ head, you’d assume the proper application of that tool would be to hit things with it.
Alex Brown was everywhere. He was sacking Simms, he was knocking the ball out of his hands, he was batting down passes, he was covering the tight end down the field…Wow. Just wow.
The Bears were able to get tremendous pressure on Tampa Bay without blitzing more than a handful of times.
Lance Briggs hit Cadillac Williams so hard on one third quarter run, that Williams referred to himself as Chevy Impala Williams the rest of the game.
Brian Urlacher continues to astound. In the Bears “Tampa Two” defense the middle linebacker has to roam the middle of the field, but deeper than in most defenses. You want to know why the Bears defense is so much better this year than last? With Urlacher now healthy, when the Bears go to a zone defense on some passing plays Urlacher is responsible for a huge hunk (probably 20 yards deep and 35 yards wide) of the middle of the field…and he covers it. It allows the safeties and corners to double up on the edges and Helen Huntermeyer and Briggs are free to be deployed on Ron Rivera’s whim. Watch the NFL Matchup show on ESPN sometime and you can almost see the drool coming off Merrill Hoge’s mouth as he tries to explain how much ground Urlacher covers.
Thomas Jones and Adrian Peterson were tremendous. Our old buddy Brian Baldinger (we’ll get to his ‘second down run’ “theory” in a minute) showed time and again how many guys the Bears’ offensive line has to account for (because the Bears don’t pass with much alacrity) and how actual holes are a rarity. Jones and Peterson don’t seem to care. They’ll take any sliver of daylight and make it their own. Sure it accounts for an astonishing number of two yard runs, but that’s what makes Jones and Peterson so tough. They’re going to bust through those holes from time to time and both are willing to keep banging in there until they pop one.
The one yard touchdown drive was a thing of beauty. The Bears knew that the Bucs were going to use the Madden 06 goalline defense strategy. You know, where you pick the goalline defense that blitzes everybody in the hopes you can throw the running back for a loss. So the Bears ran a playaction pass to John Gilmore and Gilmore was so alone he probably thought he was at a Dusty Baker Appreciation Rally.
OK, now for Baldy. Has there ever been a more meaningless “theory” so doggedly espoused as his “the team that will win will be the one that doesn’t get away from the run on second down” crapola? The one time he got really excited about it was on a Chevy Impala Williams run on a second and one. Whoop de damn doo. It wasn’t a poorly explained theory, or a poorly thought out theory. Nope. It was a poorly explained and poorly thought out theory.
That said, Baldinger might be the least annoying Fox analyst. How sad is that? Aikman’s not that annoying, but he’s got Joe Buck with him, and Moose Johnston’s not too bad but he comes with Dick Stockton and Tony Siragusa holding that stupid little TV down on the field. Why is the Goose on the field anyway? He just stands in the end zone and talks. Why not put him in the booth? Is he too fat to walk up the stairs? Does he weigh too much for the elevator? Would he not fit in the booth with Johnston, Stockton and whatever embalming machine that Stockton’s hooked up to that makes him appear to still be alive?
Speaking of announcers, what is with the “crew” on Comcast’s Postgame Live? Seriously. Pat Boyle’s very good and at least they use him full-time now and not Jiggetts. But all they accomplished was they moved Jiggetts to one of the analyst spots. Jiggetts hadn’t had anything interesting to stay in 14 years.
Mike Adamle is a trainwreck. Last week he sung, this week he was throwing out movie lines to amuse (apparently) only himself. At least he hasn’t cried yet. Then, they go live to Tampa for player interviews and we get William Jackson, who not only can’t actually ask a question (watch him, just once, he never asks a question, he just babbles then shoves the mic in the players’ faces). Richard Dent, who is normally in studio was in Tampa so he wasn’t on the panel, but even when he is, he adds nothing.
That leaves you with Marv Levy. Marv is good. He says interesting things, he seems to have watched the game with a pen and paper to write down interesting stuff on, instead of pom poms like Adamle and Jiggetts (you wonder if Dent even watched the game).
The sad thing? This is a huge improvement over last year when Jiggetts was the “host” and Marv was stuck with Dave Duerson and Chris Zorich as the analysts. Awful. They were worse than the Bears, and the Bears were abysmal.
Hey, at least none of them are Luke Stuckmeyer.
I am horrible. Just horrible.
I don’t do analysis. I just wait for a moment of silence and then burst through with a canned observation about a player that may have just been involved in the most recent play. But nothing about the play.
I’m all shtick. This “regular-guy-giving-it-to-the-viewers-straight” was innovative when Madden was doing it in the 80’s. “Regular guy” doing analysis etc.
But now, it’s broadcaster-doing-regular-guy-doing-analysis. It’s fake, it’s contrived, and the TV viewing, Chicago public deserve a big fucking apology for my dumbass assaulting their eardrums.
Hold me like a handle and just POUND things! I’m huge!
Dan Jiggetts didn’t say anything interesting during us, either.
No love for us Andy?
Anyone catch me point out Simeon Rice as the key player of the first half and why the Bears had the lead? I went into a detailed explanation as to why the Bears were up, and it was the play of Simeon Rice that put them there. If it weren’t for Simeon Rice knocking the ball out of Chris Simms’ hand at the one-yard-line, the Bears wouldn’t be up. It’s all because of Simeon Rice. Simeon Rice got the Bears the first-half lead.
I never did correct myself, despite repeatedly crediting Simeon Rice with the Bear’s 10-3 lead.
I suck.
As do all Fox announcers. If you need the announcer to tell you what’s going on, you must be blind. Try muting the TV and putting on a nice Wallflowers CD or Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Greatest Hits.
No matter how often we come out, or how often Andy waves off Orton’s performance, the fact remains that Orton sucks. It’s through the genius of Ron Turner calling plays knowing the offense is at 3/4 strength with Orton at QB that this team has a 7-game winning streak. Orton’s INT in the second quarter was laughable. He threw it right to the TB defender. It’s the coaching staff knowing it’s limits and playing within the limited abilities of their field general that has the team at 8-3.
Who here honestly believes Orton is going to be a durable 10-year successful NFL quarterback? Besides Andy.
Can you believe I went to Harvard? What did I major in – sammiches?
Yeah, mutin’ the game would spare us the debauchery of the dumbasses behind the mic. But we’d miss out on things like crowd noise and the sound of Chris Harris’ head slamming into things. I wish there was an option to just mute the announcers and watch the game. You could turn them back on if you needed to hear about injuries or something. Maybe an alternate language broadcast would be nice. French is a neat sounding language. Spanish is fung. Vietnamese sounds really crazy sometimes too. They watch a lot of football, those Vietnamese-Americans believe it or not. I wonder if Dat Nguyen would call the games after he retires in that case.
Yeah, Andy, what gives? You say Orton’s slightly better than mediocrity, then prognosticate that he’ll be a “really good” NFL quarterback.
“Slightly better than mediocrity” = “sucks.” There’s no two ways about it. Talking out of both sides of you mouth surely make it hard to keep fellating this joke of a QB.
He threw it RIGHT TO THE DEFENDER?
If I weren’t letting every Tom, Dick and Harry run by me like I’m standing still, maybe I, too, would be able to pick off a pass.
I think the New York Giants just committed another False Start.
I’m either an Orton Apologist or an Orton Basher, but I’m not sure which because I started out my post speaking in the first person as one who likes Kyle but then proceded to bash him.
I’m obviously an idiot. I’m all by myself in my loathing of Orton. I’m probably a Packers fan too.
Start chanting me now, Bears fans and don’t stop for a week.
Wait.
What?
Hey Jiggs, tell us about how you used to block for Walter.
Orton has been a disappointment. You’d think he’d be improving since the season started. He looks to be no better than opening day, maybe a little worse.
While he may end up as one, Orton hasn’t shown that he’s gonna be a really good QB any more than Maggie Grace has shown she’s gonna be a really good actress.
…with toothpicks for legs.
For all those that want to mute out the broadcasters, try the SAP button. Every time Joe Buck calls a game, I press that button and get crowd noise and field noise, but no announcer noise. I even get the FOX NFL theme music, and the commercials have full audio. Just no Buck, Aikman and Colinsworth. I don’t know if they do the same for Baldy and Kenny Albert, but it just might work. I was able to watch the Eagles game with full sound and no Brett Favre fellating. It was great.
A rookie quarterback — and a FOURTH round pick at that — with me for a record is a disappointment? Ummmm… no.
If you don’t think Orton has improved since the Washington game, you’re either braindead or not watching the games. He threw five picks against the Bengals. He hasn’t improved on that? Then he fumbled away a ball late in the game against Cleveland… but since then he’s undefeated.
This really is a non-argument we’re having. Isn’t it?
There’s actually only one of me. The others just play one on TV. So a rookie QB with a 7-game win streak in spite of that fact is really pretty remarkable.
Huh. It seems as though #6 starts in the first person, but then switches gears. I don’t see any Orton praise anywhere in his post, however. And that’s a good thing.
[Gagging, choking, forcing words slowly…]
I agree with Chuck on this one.
Orton should be further along than he is. To be entering the twelfth game of the season and be dead last in QB rating shouldn’t get him anything other than the deserved “Terrible Quarterback” moniker.
I also agree with Chuck. Orton is KILLING us. Anybody got Drew Rosenhaus’ phone number? How about Hugh Douglas?
Orton doesn’t make too many crippling mistakes. The INT he threw might as well have been a good punt, and the grounding penalty on him didn’t hurt any more than a sack or an INT would have hurt.
He doesn’t make many plays and he’s not exactly moving the offense with any efficiency, and that’s an offense that has a solid receiver, a good TE, a decent FB and a strong trio of RBs.
I think Chuck is saying it’s disappointing that Orton hasn’t had much to do with the 7-game win streak. You’d think if you won 7 games in a row, your QB would be a big reason why, but we all know that’s not the case. Orton is a disappointment because he is LAST in many categories, yet the team is winning IN SPITE of him. If he were to be a middle of the road QB, the Bears might be 9-2 or better, or have a better shot at going all the way to the Super Bowl.
How can a player who took every snap during me, have little effect on me? That doesn’t make sense. Not unless the team ran the ball on every play and had no passing touchdowns.
The two touchdowns in the last two games? Passing TDs. And Muhammad dropped another one against Carolina.
Stop taking the jam out of my donut and start making fun of the Packers. Stat!
I agree with 7-game win streak. Stop taking the jam out of his donut.
Can you imagine how great I’d be doing with this offense. Maybe I’ll write a shitty song about it.
Please don’t.
Stop taking the jam out of me.
The surf is up to day at old La Holla
I’ve got my board I’ve got my silkin’ drawers
I used to throw the pigskin for Chicago
But now I’m stuck singin’ under stars
One day I got Medevil on the Vikings
I threw the ball all over the fuckin’ yard
But then the guys who blocked and did the hiking
Got hurt and now my ego is all scarred
I wrote a shitty song to tell you bastards
That I could get the Bears a Super Bowl
I’d get them in the endzone even faster
Instead I lay around here smokin’ pole
Dude, I told you not to do it now fuck off…
Ask yourself this:
Where are the Bears right now with Brad Johnson? No worse than 9-2 as the Cleveland game becomes a win.
Maybe 10-1 as the Bears win at Washington with a better QB.
And, maybe with a shot to really win a superbowl and not just get there to be blown out by the Colts.
Jerry Angelo should be hung.
Kyle Orton is a below average starting quarterback. He’s also a rookie, a fourth round draft choice who has remained healthy and not interfered with a winning formula. How that constitutes a disappointment is beyond me. He was never supposed to be more than the third QB on this team. He’s certainly better than Chad, Quinn or any of the other refuse that the Bears played last year.
I’ve seen Jerry in the sauna before folks. And honesty compels me to say that he is not hung.
What a collasal disappointment I would be. Let’s go back to the 13-3 season and the second-round home playoff loss. How about the 4-12 season that came after. The 7-9 campaign with Seal Stewart and Crystal Chandelier under center? Fung. Oh and last year… WHOOOOO!!!!!
18 months ago, Orton was projected as a top 10 pick. He fell in the draft due to injury. The 4th round tag isn’t a measure of his talent, more of the salary cap risk that was associated with taking him high.
He had first round talent. He hasn’t shown it. That he hasn’t played to the point where he is an offensive threat after 11 starts is disappointing.
He doesn’t suck. He’s not playing to expectations.
Wow. That must be sweet ganja that Chuckles found on vacation to make him think that I’D lead the Bears to a victory in the Super Bowl.
I guess “Intrepid Reader: getting to the Super Bowl and getting blown out by the Colts” loved the end of the 2003 Cubs season.
That’s so much more fun than finishing 4th…
Ah yes, I should be hung. After all, I’ve only constructed the best defense in the league — which also happens to be one of the youngest and cheapest — and have this team positioned to win not only this year’s NFC North title, but potentially the next several in a row.
My offense, while unspectactular, is a solid QB and a #2 WR away from being Super Bowl championship caliber.
Meanwhile, after three years of losing records, the Bears are 8-3 and headed to the playoffs, possibly with a first-round bye. But is that good enough for Bears fans? Apparently not, because we probably won’t win the Super Bowl, and anything else is FAILURE!
Yeah, I suck. Let’s clean out the front office and start the team over from scratch.
Chip, what sauna were you in? Can I check it out? I enjoy sitting around in saunas and being EXTREMELY well hung.
Brad, you’d give the bears a better “shot” than Kyle does.
Besides. The good ganja’s in Maui. I was east of there. They only grow coffee, volcanos, and telescopes on the Big Island.
Jerry:
Your ability to put together capable QBs for a football team only surpasses Jim Hendry’s ability to find leadoff hitters.
I’ll take the Division Title and the Bartman/Gonzo tag team over getting eliminated in July any day and playing out the string while everybody wails about that manager and fellates red-headed rookies any day. Seriously is there really any question about this?
We suck.
Beginning of the year, knowing that we had Orton starting: “Hell, we’ll be lucky to get to 8-8!”
After three games: “Hell, we’ll still be lucky to get to 8-8, but this division is just bad enough that we might win it! Wouldn’t a playoff game — even a first round loss — be great?”
Now: “BOOOO! Orton sucks! This team isn’t winning by wide enough margins! If we don’t WIN THE SUPER BOWL the team is full of pathetic losers! This sucks!”
Jeez, if the Bears were 11-0 it wouldn’t be good enough.
We shouldn’t talk football. We know nothing about football. We know a little bit about baseball so we should stick to talking about that. But we don’t know shit about football.
Chuck, I agree. The 2003 season sucked. Maybe Hendry should hire me and I can re-create the magic of 1991!
Did somebody say, “hung?”
When will I answer readers’ pithy questions about Kyle Orton?
We are actually Jim Mora and Dan Reeves. Please hire us.
I don’t know what I meant when I typed 49. Those are the only two football coaches I’ve heard of.
Kyle Orton had a superb first half of last season at Purdue. He fumbled on a fluke play against Wisconsin and went downhill from there. But assuming he was a legitimate first round draft choice, he still is a rookie, and he’s doing as well as, if not better than, nearly all starting rookies QBs have in the past. He would have put up very good numbers against Carolina had there not been drops.
Chuck is done alleging that Jay copies him. He just rehashes Jay’s columns now.
Did Jay say this? I haven’t read anything from Eddie Munster since the White Sox victory column. You know, the one 21 days after he wrote the Sox wouldn’t win another game all year.
Wow. He did. Right down to Brad Johnson.
He must have my phone bugged as I had this exact conversation on the phone yesterday evening around 7 PM.
Today: “I keep watching Brad Johnson win games in Minnesota and wonder if the Bears would be the leading contender had he been signed in the offseason by Angelo.”
Rozner, too:
“Remember, this is a team that refused QB competition in camp and was negligent two years running by refusing to bring in a veteran backup.”
Chuck,
I live nearby, you know. Maybe spying on you and sending all your thoughts to Jay will keep me on the wagon.
I am 37 years old. I have wins over Detroit, Green Bay and Cleveland to go along with that game at New York in which we scored on a PR, KR and INT but the offense produced just the Edinger field goal. My QB rating is 85.0 and I’ve completed a scant 59.3 percent of my passes. My team won’t make the playoffs but…
I am a GOLDEN GOD!!! Love me, bitches!
I know everything about football, clearly. I am actually the architect of the “Tampa 2”. It wasn’t Dungy and Kiffin, it was me. I am the greatest football mind not working in football today. Just like my buddy Sanjay. I have a film study room where I dream I’m an NFL coach. I even pretend I have meetings and friends. Take that Desipiots, I sure showed you. I am here to set all of you straight, I am the only person who can talk football. I fucking suck.
Hey 50, we are two whiny, old, out of work coaches. We’re bitches just like you. Just not as good at this football thing as you are.
Some of us like to act hard. And when somebody points out how little we know about something we respond by cursing and calling someone a bitch. It never occurs to us that somebody is just baiting us so we fly off the handle and verbally assault an imaginary poster. We’re not the sharpest knives in the drawer, you see.
Next comes the part where we accuse the imaginary poster of being a homosexual. That train’s never late!
Len,
Suppose you all of a sudden owned the Detroit Lions and had to choose a football expert to run the team. However you could only choose from this list. Who would you choose and why?
a. Jim Mora (Sr.)
b. Dan Reeves
c. Jay Mariotti
d. Chuck Gitles
e. Andy Dolan
f. Brian Baldinger
g. Dan Jiggetts
h. Mike D.
i. CT
j. T.J. Brown
k. The “college” of receiving experts Bobby Wade, Mark Bradley, Justin Gage, Eddie Berlin, Airese Curry and Bernard Berrian
l. Chad Hutchinson
m. Jim Hendry
n. Chip Caray
o. Brad Johnson
p. Jerry Angelo
q. Kordell “Seal” Stewart
r. Jim Essian
s. Ron Jeremy
t. Brian
u. Neil Steinberg
v. Brad Johnson
w. Bob Brenly’s mustache?
I’ll sit down and wait for your answer.
Oh, and two more options, Len
x. Matt Millen
y. Dick Jauron
I’m on the list twice. Everybody is obsessed with me. I am Hott!
desipiot congress, all moves to be decided by majority vote
Change v. to: Kyle Orton
And what channel is the Desipiot Congress on?
…and wherethafuck am I on this list?
Oh, yeah. This is PRO ball, not High School. Count me out.
Actually, I equate the 2005 Kyle Orton year to the 1987 Greg Maddux year. I see a real quarterback, but he’s gonna take some lumps first.
Sloth, does that mean that I can count on him replacing Vick in 2011?
Post of the day in a walk.
Sauce of the day in a wok.
Last year I also had a 7 game winning streak as a rookie, and we made the playoffs.
I was the new NFL savior and hero.
This year, like last year, my team still runs 70% of the time, I just give the ball to the bus, staley or the new dude and we win…
HEY….WHY AM I A HERO AND ORTON SUCKS ?
I SAY WE ARE SAME.
Blah blah blah. Why do people like me even come here then?
Chuck says “He must have my phone bugged as I had this exact conversation on the phone yesterday evening around 7 PM. ” Chuckie, people throw up in their mouth when they read you, who the *&@&* talks to you on the phone?
Well Ben, your #s as a rookie were significantly better than Orton’s. Good enough for 5th in the NFL in Passer Rating (3rd in the AFC) at 98.1. Only 11 INTs all season to go with a completion percentage of over 66%. That is why you were a “hero” last year and why Orton is just a mediocre stunt double for a QB (at this point).
Hey, lipboil.
Where else can one throw up other than their mouths?
And I love your palindromic swearing substitute.
Despite Andy’s snippy, doily-laden defense of us, the way we played against Stanford said something about how deserving we are of a BCS bid.
watch me tonight…. 7 out of 10 plays will be runs… I’ll manage
the game just like lovie…errr…cowher says.
thanks for the shout out in the morandboard.
I miss you guys.
Interesting post. I am an avid online gambler and fantasy sports player and place most of my bets online. I find the internet to be a great tool and even use resources like StatShark to help me make my picks. What a great sports forecastings tool.
“Chris Harris continues to pound anything in his vacinity [sic] to the turf.”
Hey, wasn’t that me that Joey Galloway was running thru on that catch near the sidelines on the Bucs’ final possession, and #46 got all turned around, running in a circle and pounding nothing whatsoever into the turf save for his cleats in fruitless pursuit?
Whew –good thing Chucky foolishly called for a pass (incomplete) on third-and-two, and that that kid kicker couldn’t hit from 29…
Brad Johnson is the greatest athlete to ever come out of me.
Why all the hatin’ on our boy, yo? So he’s fumbled 9 times on 29 attempted returns. That shouldn’t take away from the 20 other times when he hasn’t fumbled. And I thought victory washed away all sins, but now y’all callin’ for his job? Damn…
Remember last year when I won 3 straight games? Good times…good times.
p.s. Am I dead?
There’s a guy, who like clockwork runs to the Moranboard on the home page after every Bears game to tell us how bad Kyle Orton is. It’d be more effective if the Bears hadn’t won the game every time he’s posted.
Wrong as usual –what it would do is make me a windsock (and, by the way, if you go back and look at the record in chronological order, you will find that what precipitates the back & forth is usually some bloviating Orton fan talking a bunch of smack at those who see Kyle as anything short of a latter-day Jim Plunkett). Y’see, anybody can stand around muttering, “Boy, that guy really put in a sh**ty performance” the day after he puts in a, you know, sh**ty performance…and then talk about how great he is (and how you just knew it all along) in the aftermath of a breakout showing.
To illustrate: there’s an old fart who calls in to the local sportsgab shows, fella calls himself “Mike from Highland Park.” Real deep thinker, seen it all, and you can just see the skid marks in his holey old boxers if you close your eyes and just listen to the crotchety bastard prattle on the way he does between swigs of prune juice. Among his many gems was phoning in during, like, May of ’04, when Hee Seop Choi was doing one of his occasional short-lived Mel Ott impersonations in the service of the defending World Series champion Florida Marlins, while Derrek Lee was off to a rough start for the local darlings. Mike conveniently heckled, “Boy, that sure was a brilliant move by the genius Hendry, trading Choi for Lee” or some such crapola.
Funny thing about it is, we never heard a complaint/prediction of certain doom from Mike at the time the trade was made –nor did we hear anything remotely resembling a retraction after HSC came down to earth and disappeared into the baseball ethers in inevitable fashion while D-Lee proceeded to put on a veritable batting clinic for a pretty nice chunk of the next ten baseball months.
Maybe it would’ve been more effective if Mike had instead called in during May of ’04 and said something like, “Yeah, Choi’s on fire right now, and Lee is really laboring –but mark my words: Choi is fool’s gold that won’t last, whereas Lee is a potential MVP. This trade was brilliant, and you’ll see it soon enough. Patience, everyone.” And maybe he would’ve looked stupid for another couple of weeks before everything started to get rightsized, but that’s what a person does when he or she doesn’t succumb to the temptation to be a windsock in order to be approved by one’s peers and instead takes the risk of inviting derision by doing a bit of original thinking and drawing a conclusion that isn’t necessarily the convenient one of the moment. Just sayin’.
One of these days they’ll lose again, and I hope he doesn’t tear his hammy off the bone trying to get to his Tandy in time.
I don’t know what a Tandy is –it sounds like something old, so Mike from Highland Park probably does– but in any case: when they lose again, I’ll place the blame squarely where it belongs. It’d be every bit as much a shame if Orton were to put in an excellent game but the D/special teams blew it as it would be the other way around, and you can be certain that what you’ll get from me is an honest presentation of nothing but the truth –convenient or otherwise –as it appears to me. And thanks for providing the space in which to do it.
Oh, Dear Me, I’m the one who wrote on the Moran (sic) Board Sunday evening about joining the Rex Grossman bandwagon. I’ve never written anything the previous weeks about Kyle Orton, so I hope Mr. Dolan’s comments were not directed at me.
As 2 milllion other Bears fans did, I watch the game nervously from the mid 3rd quarter and on because Orton is incapable of throwing a midfield length or greater pass accurately. About the only time I recollect him doing so this year was the over-the-shoulder to Muhammad late in the game a few weeks back.
His long passes that are intended to not be overthrown get picked.
Regardless, looking at the big picture he is getting excellent training in the real world and may be a great quarterback long term.
But, please take the blinders off and acknowledge that unless the defense continues to dominate there could be a chance we are playing in Minnesota for the division lead.
True, Muhammad dropped a few passes the past couple of weeks and that the Bears have been playing with only 2 or 3 tired receivers a game all season.
Granted, Grossman is 3 inches shorter and much more brittle than Orton.
But Orton has to get rid of that smirk on every play that doesn’t work and you, Mr. Dolan, have to accept a little objectivity.
There is some truth to 84’s post. While I do show some good poise for a young QB, I consistently throw the worst deep ball in the league. If I had a dollar for every time I overthrew a very tall reciever, I’d have a shitload of dollars. Thank you Joe “Coop” Cooper.
When are people going to realize that Mike Richardson and Leslie Frazier CAN’T COVER ANYBODY?!?!? When Steve DeBerg can carve them up for the second time this season, just imagine how bad it’s going to be when they face Joe Montana next week. Let’s see, in week 1, the secondary’s carved up by DeBerg. Week 2, Grogan doesn’t play so that idiot Eason takes it easy on them. Week 3, Tommy Kramer made a mockery of them. Week 4, Theismann toyed with them through the first quarter until Gault ran back that kickoff to turn the momentum.
Sure, the Bears are 5-0, but McMahon bailed the team out a couple times, and we haven’t played anybody yet. Everyone knows the Patriots aren’t going anywhere, the Vikings are so awful they had to bring Bud Grant back, and the Redskins have sucked too. I know they won this week, but Joe Gibbs is done!
The defensive line and linebackers are OK, but Buddy Ryan’s defense can’t get by like this. And McMahon is fragile, and this team won’t win if Fuller has to play. He proved that he sucks at the Metrodome.
The team needs to sign Todd Bell, stat! Duerson sucks as well and Gary Fencik is too old too.
The scary thing is that 86 just hit it right on the head.
Reading this, I started to wonder if an average to below average QB ever “led” a great defensive team to a Super Bowl?
Ahhh…I got nuthin’…won’t someone help me out?
Is there anywhere else but me in which a seven-game winning streak equals a quarterback controversy?
Didn’t the Giants deal with a Simms-Hostetler controversy in me?
No matter what decade it’s in, my writing is boring as hell.
Back when I could throw the ball more than seven yards I did it too, Trent.
Was I any better than Kyle Orton?
No, Jim. You weren’t worth a shit either. That’s why the team never won anything with you’re steroid pumpin’ ass under center. And not to be a dick or anything, but I was glad when Hugh Douglas ripped your arm out of its socket and beat you with it.
By the way, I’m available to quarterback the Bears. I’m durable and have a cannon for an arm a la Brad Johnson.
Oh? An NFC Central title isn’t shit? I never liked you, either, Shane.
Give me Cade McNown or Henry Burris any day!
me against tampa bay, in champaign, on a sunday night ESPN game…
good times. thanks for the memories, guys.
To answer a question from #82: Krenzel is the 3rd quarterback with the Bengals right now…
Hey Henry,
I relieved you in that game after you relieved yourself all over the field.
Really, Dick?
TRANSACTIONS
National Football League
DETROIT LIONS — Released qb Jeff Garcia and qb Joey Harrington. Signed free agent qb Cade McNown to 4-year, $18-million contract. Purchased contract of qb Henry Burris from the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian Football League.
You’re welcome!
Mission accomplished.