Allow me to paint a scene for you. I’d just finished watching “The Office” Christmas episode for the second time in two weeks. I had some ludicrous New Orleans Bowl between Arkansas State and Southern Miss–being played, I think in Saskatoon–on with the sound down and Wilco’s “Kicking Television” on the stereo. One of the nameless mass of ESPN Sports Center dopes not named Stu or Boomer or Skippy came on and next to his grinning visage I saw Jock Jones chasing a double to the wall in the Metrodome. I immediately cringed and hoped that the next thing I’d see would be “Jacque Jones signs three-year deal with Royals”, instead, it said “Jock Jones signed three year deal with Cubs.” Defeated and saddened I slowly picked up the television remote, opened the little door on the back, pulled out the batteries and tried to kill myself by eating them.
Guh.
Signing Jock isn’t soooo bad, but three years? Three? Why didn’t they just re-sign Jeromy Burnitz for one? Something tells me that once they declined his option for next season that he’d have been willing to work out a one year deal.
So now the Cubs are left with two-thirds of a French outfield featuring Jacque and Pierre. I guess it’s a good thing for Matt Murton that Jason Dubois isn’t around. Not that Dusty would play either one of them, anyway.
What is particularly frightening is that in his career Jones has basically been a less athletic version of everybody’s favorite Cub, Corey Patterson.
He strikes out too much. He doesn’t walk. He tries to hit more homers than common sense would dictate. And he’s older. And now, more expensive.
I’m not saying the Cubs should have just left right field open and handed it to Corey, but they could have gotten somebody else. Anybody else.
Jones’ career numbers aren’t that bad. His career average is a respectable, if borderline mediocre .279. But it’s the trend that bothers you. He’s going to be 31 shortly after the 2006 season starts and guys don’t get better at 31. They get worse.
And that’s just what Jock’s been doing. After hitting .300 and .304 in 2002 and 2003, his average dropped to .254 in 2004 and a whopping .249 last year. He bragged that he walked a career high 51 times last year. Yay! It boosted his on base average from a Patterson-esque .315 to a Dunston-esque .319. Great job.
Defensively, he’s not bad. He has good speed and a decent arm. He’s a better left fielder than a right fielder because of his arm, but he won’t kill you in right.
Already the apologists are spinning his 2005 season. Jones got off to a great start, .353 with a very unJock like .474 on base average in April. They point to the fact that he injured a quad in August and was going to go on the DL until Torii Hunter tore his ankle off in Boston and so Jones gutted out the rest of the season. He hit a woeful .174 in August and .227 in September.
So that’s good. At least there’s a reason for his lousy finish.
Except (you know there’d be something else) what explains his .222 average in May or his .245 June?
Like Corey, Jock’s stats are always propped up by a hot streak. Guys who hit .270 but do it by hitting .380 one month and then barely crack .240 for the next two don’t exactly have all upside.
If there’s a good side to this deal, it would be that the contract’s not so ludicrous that you couldn’t eventually trade Jock. But the reality is that unless there’s a new GM next offseason, the current one’s going to think right field is in good shape. Yikes.
It’s been discussed elsewhere that Jock would be best used in a platoon where he only has to face righthanded pitching. Baltimore just released crazy Eric Byrnes and Byrnes has for his career handled lefty pitching to the tune of: .298 ave, .361 opa, .524 slg.
There are two problems with that.
a) Jones’ splits against righties aren’t that great. His three year splits against them are .280/.333/.474/.807,
b) If you give Dusty a situation where he has Eric Byrnes on this roster, he’ll play him every day and Jones every day and use Murton off the bench.
Just another situation where you can’t improve your team for fear of the manager mishandling the lineup.
The Cubs apparently only have two more “to dos” left before spring training. They’re going to try to trade Corey Patterson and Todd Walker.
You had to love that the Yankees apparently used Corey as leverage in their negotiations with Johnny Damon. They offered the caveman four years and $52 million and told him that if he didn’t take it they could just trade for Corey Patterson. The only thing, I’m sure that kept Damon’s agent, Scott Boras from laughing until he fell off the chair was the fact that Patterson is his client, too.
Something tells me that Boras didn’t go for the Yankees pump fake.
If the Cubs start the 2006 with the roster as it now stands the lineup should be:
cf Lucky Pierre
2b Todd Walker
1b Derrek Lee
3b E-ramis
c Barrett
rf Jock
lf Murton
ss Cedeno
But here’s what it’s going to be:
cf Lucky
2b Neifi
1b Lee
rf Jones
3b E-ramis
c Barrett
lf Murton
ss Cedeno
Get your season tickets!
Maybe we can trade Korey for Theo’s phone number.
Are the responses scrolling up instead of down?
oh man. my mitt was all greased and ready to go. back to the caves.
Now Boston needs a CF, which we seem to have one too many of.
Not saying, just saying.
Bullet Proof Tony
So you’re obviously the big dick,
and they on either side of you, must
be your balls.
But they’re not clever, they smell
pussy, and they want a piece of the
action, and the dimmer the dick, the
less he cares about the consequences,
and you thought you smelt gooood ol
pussy, and have brought your little
mincy faggot balls along for a gooood
ol time, but you have got your parties
muddled up, there is no pussy here,
just a dose to make you wish you
were born a woman.. . .
And just like a prick, you are having
second thoughts; And the fact that you’ve got “REPLICA†written down the side of your gun, and I’ve got Desert Eagle, Point five-oh, on the side of mine should get you’re balls to shrinking, along with your presence. Now… Fuck off!
How can I make this offseason even more ludicrous? I know, why don’t I trade Walker to the Cardinals? They need a 2b. What do we care, we’ve got Neifi!
Dude Andy…
Catchers hit 8th, dude.
So, my “Dude” Lineup…
1) Pierre
2) Neifi
3) D. Lee
4) Mabry (need Vets leadership)
5) Ramirez
6) J. Jones
7) Neifi’s singing brother
8) Barrett
It looks like Reggie Bush will be a USC graduate playing on a better team in 2006 than I will.
K Patt for Matt Clement
MUA HA HA HA HA HA
Hey Mark, You know I’m a USC grad too right?
Jacque The Monkey
A) Racist?
B) Clever Peter Gabriel reference?
C) Close call, but the reference is just obscure enough not to be understood by the masses, and therefore it should be avoided due to the fact that everything is assumed to be racist anyway, so probably not a good idea.
The good news is that this thing is turning into SUCH a trainwreck… ALREADY… that 2006 Gamecasts are gonna be f’n gold on a daily basis. Gold I tells ya.
I can almost visualize the “Brave!” right now.
How about me?
Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party is so lame…
test
Any chance Andy could give me a weekly column now? We could call it Jock on Jock, where I follow the exploits of the Cubs’ new French right fielder.
#5….can’t undestand a word written in that piece……or should I say piece of shit. This latest Cub move is so bland it is hard to be anything but simply bored by it.
Please bring me & my lofty 4.57 ERA back to the NL. I can’t stand that DH position, what the fuck is that?
Maybe we can change Matt to Mathieu Murton and call the whole outfield “French Toast.”
On second thought, Jacques the Minkey has a certain ring* to it.
*Something Mr. Jones** will not be acquiring as a Cub.
**A whole new Dylanesque angle on the nickname problem:The Thin Man*** (“Something is happening here/But you don’t know what it is/
Do you, Mister Jones?”)
*** There’s probably a movie angle here, but I’m too tired and in fear of disappearing up my own footnote to pursue it.
Tangeld up in Cubby bleu!
This, from Harball Times:
“I also noticed that Dusty Baker led the world in pitchouts with 70 (the average was about 23), while Frank Robinson of the Nationals called for only four. What’s even more interesting is that the difference apparently had no effect on the running game; the Cubs caught 40 of 90 (31%) would-be base stealers while the Nats caught 41 of 76 (35%).
Once again, empirical evidence of the gut feeling that Dusty just might be succesfully replaced by a Dippy Drinking Bird: He “guesses wrong” (for no apparent reason, other than to appear as if he’s “making moves,” earning his $15 mil, when you least expect it, crazy like a fox, or just plain stupid…), pitcher goes down in the count, baserunner knows the pitchout isn’t coming on the next one, but the subsequent stolen base doesn’t matter so much anyway because the pitcher’s so pissed off at Dusty he just lays one over the plate…
Hendry should have been run out of town midway through the 2004 debacle. Yet most of the guys on this website have wasted the last 18 months on blaming Dusty. Yes, Dusty should be fired. But why are you giving Hendry a free pass? Look, quit focusing on Dusty. Focus on getting Hendry’s fat ass fired. Run Hendry out of town and let the new GM worry about cutting off Dusty’s head.
Free pass? Are you kidding me? I can’t even walk in front of Desipio Tower. I have to go about 6 blocks out of my way every day.
from Kiley’s article on Jock today:
“The Cubs hired manager Dusty Baker three years ago in part because of the expectation he would be a draw for free agents. Well, chalk one up for Baker.”
Umm, where the hell am I playing in 2007? Couldn’t let K-Patt play RF til July, trade him, then insert me? You know, save some pesos? Stupid female doges.
We don’t give Hendry a free pass, but if the Bears score in the third quarter Sunday, we’ll give him a free doughnut if he presents the ticket stub from the game at any Chicagoland Dunkin Donuts location
mmmmmm. Donuts!!!
Roses are red violets are blue..Tony Dungy’s kid is dead I wish you all were too.
Happy Holidays!
Are you guys tired of my gimmick yet?
Gimmick…..Here’s your gimmick. Ass wipe.
#26 has never heard of me.
If you’re going to be an expert, get your fucking math right. 40/90=44.4%. 41/76 (gee, that’s more than half) isn’t 35%, it’s 53.9%. So either your facts aren’t straight, or your numbers aren’t right. Either way, there’s a BIG difference.
And maybe Dusty is pitching out because Barrett has a weak arm, and Frank isn’t pitching out because Brian Schneider and Gary Bennett have good arms. (Or maybe Frank’s napping, whatever.) In other words, if Dusty _didn’t_ pitch out and keep the runners honest, that percentage might be even higher.
I have gotten yours 29…….HA HA HA………..Merry f-ing christmas douche bag.