Keep your eye on the ball, Jock.Allow me to paint a scene for you. I’d just finished watching “The Office” Christmas episode for the second time in two weeks. I had some ludicrous New Orleans Bowl between Arkansas State and Southern Miss–being played, I think in Saskatoon–on with the sound down and Wilco’s “Kicking Television” on the stereo. One of the nameless mass of ESPN Sports Center dopes not named Stu or Boomer or Skippy came on and next to his grinning visage I saw Jock Jones chasing a double to the wall in the Metrodome. I immediately cringed and hoped that the next thing I’d see would be “Jacque Jones signs three-year deal with Royals”, instead, it said “Jock Jones signed three year deal with Cubs.” Defeated and saddened I slowly picked up the television remote, opened the little door on the back, pulled out the batteries and tried to kill myself by eating them.

Guh.

Signing Jock isn’t soooo bad, but three years? Three? Why didn’t they just re-sign Jeromy Burnitz for one? Something tells me that once they declined his option for next season that he’d have been willing to work out a one year deal.

So now the Cubs are left with two-thirds of a French outfield featuring Jacque and Pierre. I guess it’s a good thing for Matt Murton that Jason Dubois isn’t around. Not that Dusty would play either one of them, anyway.

What is particularly frightening is that in his career Jones has basically been a less athletic version of everybody’s favorite Cub, Corey Patterson.

He strikes out too much. He doesn’t walk. He tries to hit more homers than common sense would dictate. And he’s older. And now, more expensive.

I’m not saying the Cubs should have just left right field open and handed it to Corey, but they could have gotten somebody else. Anybody else.

Jones’ career numbers aren’t that bad. His career average is a respectable, if borderline mediocre .279. But it’s the trend that bothers you. He’s going to be 31 shortly after the 2006 season starts and guys don’t get better at 31. They get worse.

And that’s just what Jock’s been doing. After hitting .300 and .304 in 2002 and 2003, his average dropped to .254 in 2004 and a whopping .249 last year. He bragged that he walked a career high 51 times last year. Yay! It boosted his on base average from a Patterson-esque .315 to a Dunston-esque .319. Great job.

Defensively, he’s not bad. He has good speed and a decent arm. He’s a better left fielder than a right fielder because of his arm, but he won’t kill you in right.

Already the apologists are spinning his 2005 season. Jones got off to a great start, .353 with a very unJock like .474 on base average in April. They point to the fact that he injured a quad in August and was going to go on the DL until Torii Hunter tore his ankle off in Boston and so Jones gutted out the rest of the season. He hit a woeful .174 in August and .227 in September.

So that’s good. At least there’s a reason for his lousy finish.

Except (you know there’d be something else) what explains his .222 average in May or his .245 June?

Like Corey, Jock’s stats are always propped up by a hot streak. Guys who hit .270 but do it by hitting .380 one month and then barely crack .240 for the next two don’t exactly have all upside.

If there’s a good side to this deal, it would be that the contract’s not so ludicrous that you couldn’t eventually trade Jock. But the reality is that unless there’s a new GM next offseason, the current one’s going to think right field is in good shape. Yikes.

It’s been discussed elsewhere that Jock would be best used in a platoon where he only has to face righthanded pitching. Baltimore just released crazy Eric Byrnes and Byrnes has for his career handled lefty pitching to the tune of: .298 ave, .361 opa, .524 slg.

There are two problems with that.

a) Jones’ splits against righties aren’t that great. His three year splits against them are .280/.333/.474/.807,

b) If you give Dusty a situation where he has Eric Byrnes on this roster, he’ll play him every day and Jones every day and use Murton off the bench.

Just another situation where you can’t improve your team for fear of the manager mishandling the lineup.

The Cubs apparently only have two more “to dos” left before spring training. They’re going to try to trade Corey Patterson and Todd Walker.

You had to love that the Yankees apparently used Corey as leverage in their negotiations with Johnny Damon. They offered the caveman four years and $52 million and told him that if he didn’t take it they could just trade for Corey Patterson. The only thing, I’m sure that kept Damon’s agent, Scott Boras from laughing until he fell off the chair was the fact that Patterson is his client, too.

Something tells me that Boras didn’t go for the Yankees pump fake.

If the Cubs start the 2006 with the roster as it now stands the lineup should be:

cf Lucky Pierre
2b Todd Walker
1b Derrek Lee
3b E-ramis
c Barrett
rf Jock
lf Murton
ss Cedeno

But here’s what it’s going to be:

cf Lucky
2b Neifi
1b Lee
rf Jones
3b E-ramis
c Barrett
lf Murton
ss Cedeno

Get your season tickets!