The papers are filled with stories today pondering the future of Marquis Grissom, the Cubs 74 year old sixth outfielder. Grissom has looked old and slow this spring, and even Dusty Baker admits that Marquis has yet to really test the blown hammy that ended his 2005 season a couple months early.ÂÂ
First off, what team carries six outfielders? Secondly, would any other team, managed by any other Dude be wringing their hands over the future of a washed up has been like Marquis?
I’m sure Marquis is a nice man. He’s probably nice to strangers, kind to puppies and an all-around friendly guy. But he’s old as the hills, and in recent years, not very good. The Cubs already have an outfielder capable of backing up all three spots in Angel Pagan, a guy they traded for from the Mets when Omar Minaya was signing every free agent and running out of room on the 40-man roster. Pagan is fast, seems to have a clue and not old enough to have voted for Ike.
The Cubs also seem hell bent on trading for A’s farmhand Freddie Bynum. What we know about Freddie is that everyone describes him as a “Chone Figgins clone.” I find it hard to believe that there’s another Chone Figgins. Why do I think that Freddy is a Jose Macias clone? Although, I have to admit, it’s kind of fun to say Chone clone. Try it. Good times.
Supposedly, by getting Bynum, the Cubs would have the most flexible bench in the game. I think it’s great that they’ll all be able to touch their toes. It’s something to strive for.ÂÂ
The Cubs love the fact that John Mabry can play both corner outfield and corner infield spots. The problem is that he plays them much like a fence post with a glove perched on it might.
They love that Jerry the Lesser can play second and all three outfield spots. Pagan can play all three outfield spots if he makes the team. Throw in Bynum and on those days when Dusty breaks out an exotic lineup of mostly bench guys, he might only have to use five guys to play the whole field.ÂÂ
The Cubs are also considering jumping Sean Marshall from a season spent mostly in the Florida State League to the big league rotation. I kind of like this idea. Start calling guys up early so you can get more innings out of them before their labrums tear off.ÂÂ
Also, Greg Maddux is telling anybody who’ll listen that the Cubs are not nearly as bad as everybody thinks they are. Either Greg is on to something and is finding reason to be optimistic, or, he has a firm grasp on just how lousy we all fear this will be and he figures they can get to 75 wins. Yay?
This is a new one. Prior stood 60 feet away from a catcher but just played catch. So what is this, a simulated simulated game?
Marquis wonders if he should hang them up. If you have to wonder, the decision’s already made.
Phil Rogers says the Cubs need more offense. Oh, really? See, this is why they pay Phil the big bucks.
Teddy G. with breaking news. Billy Packer is still an asshole.
It’s kind of sad that the Bears are THIS excited about signing Brian Griese. And Mully wants them to finally find a slot receiver and a tight end. Hey, what are Pinky Gentry and Cap Boso up to these days?
Phil Rogers said that Scotty Fabulous hurt his shoulder, but Mike Kiley says it was his groin. Talk about not knowing your ass from a hole in the ground.
So who will “win” the Cubs’ second base derby? I hate to say it, but I thik Jerry might be the best choice. Yeesh.
The Wizard of Roz calls Mark Prior a pussy. Hey, read it and tell me he’s not calling him that.
Gene Wojokl;jkj;kjdski with a good look at Maddux and Prior. I’m not sure I see the Maddux-Tim Matheson thing, but I agree that Prior’s injuries are likely caused by having that stick up his ass all the time.
Gammons’ insider column yesterday was about the Cubs. Here’s how it ended.
But this season, the Cubs have fewer expectations. And having finally moved on from Game 5 to 2006, they may finally be free to make another run in the NL Central.
What, they just moved on, now? How many of them were even around for that game–as Cubs, at least. I’m sure Lucky and Derrek aren’t having nightmares about it. But who’s left? Carlos, Kerry, Mark, E-ramis and anybody else?ÂÂ
SI picks the Cubs to finish fourth in the NL Central.ÂÂ
America’s finest news source on the US team in the WBC.
Grissom just retired and the Cubs traded Todd the bod.
If Grissom had stayed with the Giants he would have been their youngest outfielder.
What was I running for? Minister of Domestic Abuse?
Now STFU, bitch!
Stick a fork in me, I’m done
Hey, The Onion must have forgotten about me!
I must concur with the analysis of Roz’s article, it just screamed Pussy to me.
But then again, what doesn’t?
(Roz also had it dead nuts-on that we need to move on)
I had Tommy John disease too!
Now that Marquis is gone, I’ve got room for Tony Graffanino! Bring on the waiver request, dude!
I think Marquis retired during the time it took for me to write this. I’d better hurry up and write one about Dusty.
I hate this league rule that we always have to trade for a guy with Tommy John Disease.
What? That’s not a rule?
Look at me! I’m a scholar!
So college isn’t going to work out. I knew it. It only takes one incompetent teacher. I had several of them in high school, and eventually had to drop out. But I am a grown man now and more intelligent than 999 out of every 1000 people, and fully aware of it, and articulate enough to prove it in any given situation. So when my English comp teacher (a German import, a bitch, a moron – the holy trinity of Hope She Dies in a Plane Crash) returned my decent if unspectacular first paper to me today, and I saw that the grade was a D+, I took a second to die inside, then got to work criticizing the critic. It covered the entire back page. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to copy the entire thing, but here’s the bulk of what the idiot is probably sitting at her desk reading right now:
I am reading Jim Caple’s current ESPN.com article about the Cubs on the air in between doing the play-by-play.
Is Spring Training over yet?
#10, I think that Hendry is afraid to ask for healthy players. Someone should tell him he’s able to.
That Lincoln Holdzkom can sure play a mean paino.
I guess he can play baseball well too…
That one goes out to my buddy, Marquis. Thanks for the job, hombre.
What about this site draws only guys with OCD?
Hey Marquis – come on over to a team than knows how to evaluate talent!!!
*Random Gargling Noises*
*More Random Gargling Noises*
*Even more Gargling Noises*
…sorry *gargle* we had something to *gargle* say but we are too *gargle* busy choking *gargle gargle gargle*
*cough* yes *hack* but *argh* so are we… *blurch*
I think Chone = Shawon = Sean = Shawn