Cubs (0-0) at Reds (0-0)
Pitching Matchup:
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano, 0-0, 0.00
Reds: Lemon Harang, 0-0, 0.00
Lineups
Cubs
Lucky Pierre, cf
Disgusted Bat Flip, 2b
MVLee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Jock Jones, rf
Michael Berut, c
Matt Murton, lf
Ron(ny) Ce(deno), ss
The Lawnmower, p
Reds
Tony Womack, 2b (Hee hee hee)
Felipe Lopez, ss
Junior Griffey, cf
Adam Dunn, lf
Edwin Encarnacion, 3b
Scott Hatteberg, 1b (huh?)
Austin kEARnS, rf
Javier “I own Greg Maddux” Valentin, c
Lemon Harang, p
Hendry told me that I’m one Tommy John surgery away from pitching for the Cubs.
I have to sign that old guy in the Reds jacket. He has a nasty slurve with a lot of break to it.
woo woo I’m back woo woo
to let you know woo woo
that we are series bound woo woo
and if you don’t like that woo woo
you blow big time woo woo
just like joe morgan woo woo
Dusty: Jerry Narron, dude! You’re back for another year!
Jerry: Yeah, I’m still interim.
Dusty: So am I dude. So am I.
Chloe, download the specs for this ballpark to my screen! I need a stadium bratwurst, NOW! NOW!
It looks like Juan Pierre is wearing Jason Dubois’ old pants.
Let the puppy enchantment begin!
The only way we make the playoffs this year is if there are 15 serious bus crashes.
You can tell a lot about the season by the first batter.
What is this “triple” you speak of?
…this is the best lineup we have…
Dusty is doing a great job (so far) this season.
You can’t walk to third base. Walks suck.
Looks like Aaron Harang has his good stuff so far. Two batters, five total bases, 1-0 Cubs.
Hey E-ramis! You hit a double, so we can have the cycle in the first. I’m going yard.
Fuck you Apex!
Should I pinch run for Walker yet? I don’t get this “platoon” stuff.
Dudes, where’s my “extension”? hehe
Did you hear that Bob said I was the “mayor of Cincinnati?” I guess Sean must have willed it to me.
What Uday said!
Pardon me, 11. I believe there is one enchancement Mr. Baker could make to the lineup for it to be perfecto. Gracias. Go Cubs.
Pujols would not have walked here. He would have made contact and flown out to center. That’s why the Cardinals are champions.
Love me, bitches!
From the Cubs? At the plate?
NO WAY…….
Huh? Tinkers to Evers to Enchance. What’s enchancement, Henry?
It’s Jock time, female doges. This will be dedicated to former sportscaster/porn star Jock Florentine
Dusty is so stupeed. He put Berut in game. Berut don’t know how to tell Carlos to throw de strikes. That my lineup spot. I heet the ball so hard no newspaper ever mention old man Jeem Tomay again.
Time for the Jock Jones pose.
I like how the Cubs have had four men reach base and only one run.
Dunn is playing a very deep first base. He’s way out in left field.
Oops
Hey! Don’t make me e-mail Andy again!
Can I go home yet?
I’ll kill this rally.
And there’s your classic Chicago Cubs baserunning.
I see I made no improvements this off season…
I would not have hit into a double play.
Stupid Barrett, that was all his fault.
Good to see Barrett is already in mid season HIDP form.
I should be hitting sixth. Watch me prove it.
Hey, look! Daddy’s up!
dudes, really, that ain’t my fault
Fuck you, BC.
Wheeee!
Gee, it’s too bad Murton doesn’t have any power. 5-0 Cubs.
I teech Murtun Hank White power sweeng in offseeson. You like?
who’s the orange guy?
Take that, Dusty!
Trade me for Carlos Lee, female doges!!!
I am unlike mlb gamecast
Oh.. how does anyone feel about a FYWC?
Hmm. Guess who picked up Murton for the Desipio league, and has left him on the bench tonight?
Good to see MLB.com didn’t work out the kinks from last year.
…buffering…
I’m still completely unusable on Opening Day.
…buffering…
Again.
Is Ronny Cedeno going to make us forget about Korey?
Is anybody else getting a lot of me, even when only posting occasionally?
Good to see I’ve got my control.
I don’t want to pitch in a blowout.
Here’s a leadoff walk.
Why are we running Bobby Jenks commercials during a Cubs game?
And, yes, I’m getting the slow down, cowboy messages more than I should.
See, the whole defense knock on me’s nothing but a myth!
So, is this Opening Day 2003 or Opening Day 2005 all over again?
#52 – yes.
Matt Murton is on pace to drive in 1,944 runs this year.
Carlos doesn’t have me today.
Not this year, Carlos
Looks like I haven’t heard of the phrase “spring ahead.” Set me ahead an hour already!
You see what Michul Berut catching Carlos get you, female doges?
Ooh, watch Adam Dunn! He’s so dreamy. Granted his error cost the Reds at least 3 runs, but…
… is going to test Big Z’s mound demeanor
BC, this looks more like Game 1 of the 2003 NLCS to me.
Hoo boy – check out my arm!
#60, Carlos won’t win the Cy Young because of a bad first inning of the season? Are you high, or just stupid?
Just checking to see if I’ve slowed down enough.
I almost got it halfway to the cutoff man! yay!
I have got a LOT of movement on my pitches, bitches.
Carlos, last night was great!!!
I fwew it all the way from da warning twack to second base on just four bounces!
I’m not the situation you want here, Carlos
Smells like 2005 around here and the fumes are making me hurt.
This team’s mine, female doges.
Carlos, you can owe me.
MVP!! MVP!! MVP!!
I want my own locker room, and a personal assistant, and…
I’ll be 7:30 with the game going at this pace. Dempster will be picking up the save just in time for halftime of the UCLA-Florida game.
Not a bad first inning.
Surely you mean BLOWING the save?
Christ. Carlos actually managed to throw more pitches than Harang.
Left Field has definitely gotten worse since last year.
Matt Murton! Matt Murton! Matt Murton! My Gawd, Matt Murton!!!
I can’t get over how sexy Carlos Zambrano looks this year.
I wish my bro Marquis hadn’t retired so I didn’t have to play thie Murton kid in Left.
Adam Dunn plays left like a gazelle. I doubt that gazelle’s catch very well, either.
I’ll be the whitest man ever on Web Gems.
We have the lead. Does Dusty take me out now?
We told you Matt Murton was good, and we told you we could play baseball. Now a word from our leader, Eric Cartman.
For those without TV, what did I do (besides go yard?)
ESPN Gamecast is working better than Gameday today.
I keel Carlos! You bitches suck.
No TV? You’re POOR, Murton. YOU’RE POOR!
Nice.
Me? Or colonic irrigation? Hmm?
I’m not exactly fooling them yet, am I?
What the hell was that?
I’m glad they don’t have ivory on THEIR walls.
Fuck you, Ch… wait, I’m not the starting centerfielder anymore? I’m not on the Cubs anymore? Damn. But that catch I made in Cincy last year was pretty cool, no?
Gotta go. This chick Anna’s here. Makes me almost forget about the Rally Fisch.
I caught a deep, deep, bases loaded Kearns fly ball, leaping at the wall.
Yes, Cartman I am poor, but what did I do?
What’s with me.
Hey, Carlos, got Banjo?
See?
please direct all hatred toward me, as expected, I truly suck donkey balls.
Two outta three ain’t bad.
Oops!
2 out of 3 ain’t bad, eh?
These guys can really catch the ball!!!!!
#90 – Juding from the crappy stream of my Gameday Audio, Murton jumped to catch a fly ball from Kearns against the left field wall with the bases loaded and two outs. According to Pat, he did not steal a home run, but it definitely saved an extra base hit.
I get squashed down because he’s one of the only major leaguers that likes to sport the Little League look of wearing me under his batting helmet.
I would have caught that ball. I am prepared each and every day for combat.
What’d Jock do?
I could have sworn I just said that.
I’m am like a cougar waiting to strike.
I took a couple of steps in on a Womack liner that then went over my head. I am a dope.
and I don’t talk real good
“Um, John Henry? Uh Henry James? At any rate, Rickey here calling on behalf of Rickey. I hear you have a hole in right field, and let me tell you Rickey is ready, Rickey is tanned and rested. Rickey will lead off, and Rickey will win a World Series for you. What do you think?”
I charged in on a Tony Womack line drive, only for it to zip over my head to land as a double for Womack.
Me? Or colonic irrigation? Hmm?
What is the point of me? That sox fans are arseholes? Isn’t that already obvious?
Hey, if the great Adam Dunn can do it, then so can I. I’ll hit a homer to make up for it.
Am I still allowed to post to this web site if I admit I like the Bobby Jenks McDonald’s commercial better than the Lucky one?
I could have sworn I just said that.
Not only did we bag our ad campaign midway through last year (Remember the “More refreshing than bus service in Pilsen?”), but it looks like we went back to our 2004 commercials.
By the way, can I be bought in the bleachers anymore?
I tried. Maybe Dunn hurt himself on the catch, though.
Don’t you even SUGGEST that! Dunn, Dunn, Dunn, Dunn…
Rickey, you’re in– so long as you lift up the bag and say “I’m truly the greatest” after every hit, walk, or stolen base. Oh yeah, and catch the ball. You have to catch the ball.
Sure, I dont care what you like. They paid me in cheeseburgers and whiskey. I’m fat, by the way.
Did Hoops die?
I made a better effort at the McD’s commericial. I have a huge tab that I need to make up.
I keep showing up which causes posts to show up past their relevancy point. Can we get Doc to assassinate me?
If you fat and good, they think you strong. If you fat and horseshit, you just fat.
I just knocked a 3-run homer. How the hell did I do that?
Wow, this looks just like last year. All we need now is for Carlos to hold his hands up like he’s wearing glasses and get tossed.
Guh.
I’m in Chicago and have no access to the game… save for 4 minutes online right now. Big Z is repeating the AZ performance – or at least pulling something similar. We’re up, but strikes our our friend… mang.
And it won’t be over next week… Sweeping the Cardinals will keep us in it through April.
The slow down cowboy has been adjusted from 15 seconds to 1 second.
I warming up for you on Wedday, Senor Maddux. Tres homo runos!
Why do I sport this Hitler ‘stache?
Hey, if you’re going to give me five runs, I’m going to use them all.
We now have a 1 run lead. Who feels comfortable turning this over to the bullpen? Anyone? Anyone?
They ought to create a new statistic for eccentric meltdowns on the mound like that, Andy. Call them “Zs?”
Had it been ol’ No. 24, it would have been a HR
72 pitches through 3 for Z. I hate the Reds.
Murt, grab some pine.
I’m as automatic an out as you’ll find anywhere. Why aren’t I batting higher in the order yet?
We’re going to strand leadoff doubles just as well as last year’s ballclub!
Somebody really needs to tell me that Dusty already likes my veteran savvy, and that the Lenny Harris belly isn’t needed to keep on DBF’s good side.
I look like I’ve spent the offseason enchanting the hush puppies. Barrels upon barrels of hush puppies.
Bud: Wibble
GWB : Uhuhuhuh
These pajama tops are slimming, no? No pancakes for me!
If just one more Reds player sends some broken piece of wood right back at me, then I’m gonna pick it up and shove it up their ass.
Have I ever mentioned that I was with the World Champion Diamondbacks?
Bob Brenly will try anything once
Hey, Carlos. Calm down, just throw it back to the dugout.
5 walks in 3 1/3 inning. yuck.
Did we just see me? 3-5-3.
Bobby, were you really with the Diamondbacks when they won? Can you tell us some stories about it? You’re dreamy.
Anybody want to try my hot pocket?
Where the #@$@ did I go?
Hot POCKETS!
Len said I had good speed. Hush puppies for ju, mang.
Score early, score ofte…nope, just score early. That’s the Cub way.
Snap. Snap.
Wait, they only do that when Bako hits one to the track.
FYA!
Did you see me sprinting to first on my double? No? You didn’t?
Yeah, that’s because I was expecting that one to get caught. It’s just asking too much of me to actually run hard for 90 feet.
Walk Derrek to get to me? Hah! I kill you now, Redlegs!
Shit, if they were smart they’d walk ’em loaded and pitch to Jock.
Don’t worry E-ramis. I’ll pick you up! Oh, wait, I bat after Jock and Berut. Sorry. Can’t help.
I can’t take a pitch, can I?
Now, what would Jeromy do here? Oh, yeah I know.
So far, Jock looks a lot like Corey Patterson with a lower number.
Ummm…Todd Walker….Slurp……
Why bother taking any of those crap pitches?
What the FUCK am I swinging at?
How was that?
Did Hendry bother to watch a tape of my swing before he signed me for three years? Jesus Christ…
Why bother taking any of those crap pitches? I wanted my K as soon as possible.
what’d I miss?
Dude, we are so about to blow this game.
What’d I miss? Other than three fastballs all head high or higher?
I hit that one a VORP mile.
Oh, my God DunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunnDunn!
*splooge*
All in all, I’d rather be pitching to Team Puerto Rico.
VINDICATED! OUR BONERS GROW!
God Damnit!
Adam Dunn! OMG! I’d so have an orgasm right now if I knew what that was.
I suck. I should develop arm problems immediately. Someone shoot me now.
That is all.
Dude, when does my contract expire?
Why do I always appear to be in great physical agony?
I’m trying to mow grass today… in Kentucky.
I would not want to be Scott Hatteberg right now.
Should I investigate Larry Rothschild for fraud and false advertising? He’s purpotedly some type of expert, but I’ve seen used car salesmen give better advice.
I’m a really big deal. Which is why the bleachers are half empty.
100 pitches? Nothing! I say when I’ve had enough.
Dang! That Aardsma really hurt.
I’m just not an opening day pitcher, hombre. *head explodes*
Appropriate enough.
Dude, Z’s gotta have a 5 inning, 150 pitch outing on the first day of the season. Gotta build up his stamina, so he can throw those 200 pitch complete games by the end of the month. What? No, pitch counts are for sissies, dude.
If I can double off of you, you should shoot yourself immediately.
But look! I might actually get thru five innings this time! Regardless, I must continue my tradition of mouthing off to the ump as I am removed from the game.
Stupeed Dusty. I catch Carlos to one-hitter if you let me in dees game, but noooooooo. You loves de Berut!
I am the most overused strategy by Dusty Baker. I also help cause the Cubs to lose games. Just took 4 innings for Dusty to get a chance to dust me off. Thanks, Carlos. Thanks, Dusty.
Thank you Cincinnati!! Good night!!
See ya!
Gotta get Neifi in this game, dude. Neifi would save us. Neifi is Captain Everything. Without him, we would’ve been a losing team last year, dude. But because of Neifi, we uh, almost weren’t. … *cough*
In this case, Dusty used me properly.
Today’s word of the day is “sorted”.
Don’t you think the Cubs would have pinch hit for Ohman if anyone gets on base next inning? Don’t you want more than a third of an inning out of Ohman? So why was the double switch dumb (unless Ohman is only going to face the one lefty).
Won’t reach a decision for the second consecutive opening day? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, it was nice to take Jock Jones out. Will Ohman will provide me more protection in the order. And I’m not being sarcastic.
I am still for sale.
If I don’t get off my Aardsma for the final half of this game, Dusty is going to bench me for Neifi for the rest of the week!
The Jock Jones experiment will be over once I bat!
You gotta go with the best hitter, Ronny. Or, in this case, you gotta go with Neifi. It was a good time to experiment with a younger player, but you just weren’t ready, obviously. Neifi brings a lot to the team.
I’ll have you bitches howling for Neifi’s return to the lineup by Sunday.
HA! I’m so aerodynamic the Cubs actually reached on a hit & run AND a bunt.
I got wheels, bitches!
Hero time.
A leadoff walk, then a hit and run, and a 2 strike bunt single to load the bases? Is dusty still managing?
Well now, I don’t hold much to this whole “bunting” thing. To me, a “bunt” is almost as bad as an out. Now look at it – my bases are clogged. What a disappointment! Neifi! You start on Wednesday!
People
Against
God
Awful
Numbnuts (like Jock)
It’s on now, bitches. Jock can’t carry my jock.
Too bad the jerseys don’t still have the last name on the back. That “Pagan” jersey would go over well in church.
Buy a road jersey, female doges.
Did you hear Santo on the bloop single? He wanted to send everyone in.
Call him DH-unn from now on.
Does it hurt my VORP when my glove gives back more runs than I produce?
My God, I’m a complete liability,
Damn right. Two months from now they’re gonna be wearing furry chaps in the bleachers.
Teej:
Ronny thinks that anyone with legs made of protoplasm can score on a hit.
…what is this “running up of the count” that that Pagan guy did before he got his single? We could swear that the other guy never did that before he was mysteriously removed after only five innings. weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird
God bless those Pagans!
WE STILL BELIEVE IN YOU, ADAM! MO-O-O-OOOM…COME SEE THIS THING IN MY PANTS! IT HAPPENS EVERYTIME ADAM’S ON TV! SHOULD YOU TAKE ME TO THE DOCTOR?
This Pagan guy is never gonna make it as a Cub. That was just unacceptable.
and on that note, it’s time to take off and help make dinner and what not. that pagan, he’s no angel! (yeah yeah, I know, LAME)
We’ve just used up a week’s worth of luck in a single inning.
I declare the Jock Jones Era to be a complete success.
Lucky, that was god awful too. Here, Todd will show you how I’m done on the Northside!
Can Gamecasts list comments in reverse order? It’d be nice to refresh and get the current comments at the top instead of waiting for the whole page to load.
What a way to make a livin’!
I’m really, really fast.
Close the book on me. Then throw it at me. I suck.
Do I still exist?
Heh, heh! What are you bitches cheering for? I’ve still got a couple bullets left.
Yeah, but I sure can cover ground at sec…wait, 3 hits, 3 RBIs….oh shit.
I signed up for MLB.tv today to watch the games in mexico. Now i get a whole year of bob brenley, where ever I go.
Kill me now.
What the hell do you take me for, Chuck? We don’t print our own c-notes.
Gold Glove, baby!
Yeah, you should put me back at first base now.
DH-unn, DH-unn, DH-unn, DH-unn!
Please, shoot me.
But the VORP!!! THE VORP!!!!
Who said something about me being a liability?
Good grief.
Wow.
Can I be posted by Desipiots then, Desipio Tower suits?
Brian, we can’t let Ohman go more than 1/3 of an inning if it means depriving a veteran like Neifi of an AB.
Now that double switch is coming back to haunt us.
You see what Neifi gets you, fans? He’s the starter all year now.
That’s it. I’m starting Neifi the next 161 games.
I KNEW drafting Neifi Perez for my fantasy team was a good idea!
Didn’t fancy getting Neifi! the extra RBI, you see…
Dusty clearly screwed me up, Ohlman is going to get pitched to this inning.
Gotta keep that rally going, dudes.
I really did draft Neifi in my really deep NL-Only league. There are two things you can count on in the NL: Pujols hitting like Frank Thomas and Neifi getting 500 AB’s as long as Dusty manages.
My icy hot stare has rendered Gameday inoperative.
Fear me. Fear Neifi.
I was horribly overmatched there.
Can I be DH in the NL? Please. Pretty Please.
Im when this game is going to end. Crazy.
Todd Walker….Slurp.
This is nothing! I keel you guys still!
if neifi goes yard, I’m going to cry.
Look at me! Do I look safe to you?
Receive an Ardsmaa in really hot weather and you might develop me.
What’s that Javier? I can’t understand you with all that blood coming out of your mouth.
Apex has tickets to me. Insanity should ensue.
Neither team is sporting a whole lot of us. This could get really ugly. Like Carrie Muskat at 6 a.m. with a hard-on ugly.
Dusty said he was going to let me use the bullpen car to come out to the mound if I was tired.
Help… what does “receive an Aardsma” mean?
THROW A STRIKE!!!!
Man. Just throw strikes.
Will my day be over before Len Kasper’s day is?
hey everybody! who wants to bet that I won’t be around this year to torment you, what with Paul’s exile from the site?
Wasn’t the bullpen supposed to be the one thing we could count on this year? I mean, a spotty rotation, Jock Jones and Neifi Perez playing above AAA, but man, LOOK AT THOSE RELEIVERS!
Oh no. Dusty is making another double switch. Did someone get him “Men at work” by George Will or something?
If this was the Cubs of old, I would hit a granny right about now.
mmm. granny. sounds like tranny. my kind of prostitute.
Baker Basher said he was from Kentucky. Paul’s from the region. No such luck.
Time to VORP it right into the bleachers, baby!
Yeah, and Paul also said he got lots of pussy. Methinks the lies flowed from ol’ Paul like the air out of a sucking gunshot wound.
THAT’S why it helps me not to run. I gots to save my energy, ya fags.
I just fell in love with that big man, Eyre. How refreshing.
Over/under on percent of runners on first advancing to second on a fly to center: 55.
Lucky’s a banjo armed little guy.
We usually do on flyballs hit to the warning track in dead centerfield.
No TV here. The earlier one looked pretty crappy on Pierre’s part.
Me again.
Please quit hitting foul balls. One of us is gonna die pretty soon.
Oh, damn, 295. I didn’t see you there. Hi! You enjoying this crapfest?
Gotta love those Opening Day ERA’s. Infinity is a popular one today.
We’re still available! Buy, buy, buy! Spend, spend, spend!
You can’t walk enough guys, no sir.
I’m faster than my ears would lead you to believe.
Pat Hughes: “We’re next door to Cubs President Andy McPhail and GM Jim Hendry. I think both of them are going to need a nice, long, hot shower after this ball game!”
Don’t listen to him. He’s slow as molasses.
Why aren’t they calling for D-lee’s head? What’d I ever do to these Cub fans? Come on, guys. Just gimme a fair chance.
What did Valentin do?
HEY! I’m of above average height, Len.
START THROWING ME BEFORE MY BRAIN EXPLODES
START THROWING ME BEFORE SLAKYS BRAIN EXPLODES
Dude…I gotta know how many pitches Eyre can go. I might need him to go 5 someday.
Is this bothering anyone else? Jesus, that hard T is not necessary.
Anybody see the guy with the shaved head in the Reds dugout? That guy REALLY needs to get some sun on his dome.
It’s Andy Abad.
That’s bush, Andy. Come on…you gotta be better than that.
I’m not gonna pay a lot for this bullpen!
My hot pocket is also crispy and cheesy.
He sure threw a lot of Eyre balls! Oh, I kill!
What’s wrong with MurTon? He hits a Ton. He ain’t MurTin.
When you refresh, hit that little key on your keyboard called ‘end.’ Zips you right down to the bottom of the comments.
Burn!!
***Crickets***
I’m a huge fan of the standing O, the Reds’ fans just gave Dunn for finally catching a fly ball. Well done.
Reminds me of the game in ’01 when Froemming blew the home run call giving the Reds a homer on a foul ball. The next batter fouled one weakly in the air into the stands behind the Cubs dugout and the Wrigley fans all started making the twirly finger signal for home run.
Crickets love me!
Hey, I’m fast.
Big Bob is in for the bad guys!
those commercials make me mad. Why are they still on? I don’t know anyone that likes them. He doesn’t even listen to the john tesh cd “in its entirety”. It’s still playing when his cronies bust in. I hate those commercials soooooo much. I hope Ted Ferguson dies in the Bud Light Bleachers.
Bob Howry showed D-Lee. Bob Howry will decide when D-Lee doesn’t hold a runner on first.
Aren’t you all glad I defended Barrett so vehemently this off-season?
This is the longest game ever.
Why can’t Dusty pretend every day is opening day?
Since he took over the Cubs.
2003 – Cubs beat Mets 15-2
2004 – Cubs beat Reds 7-4
2005 – Cubs beat D’backs 16-6
2006 – Cubs lead Reds 12-7
That’s more runs than they’ll score this entire month.
Pretty boring, too.
At least you’re not waiting to go to bed…
I like Bob Howry. Good guy. Better number.
I deman a trade to a team dat use my skills on de field, mang. Trade me to a team where no weakleen like Berut block me wif his rallee-keeleen ways!
This is where Mark Bortz references should be. Wow.
Valentin looks a little like Hector Villanueva
This is our luckiest game.
Ever.
Seriously.
This has been a fun game. When does the Major League season start?
We’d never make an out if we’d just bunt the ball at any of the Reds. Amazing.
I’m bunting, dude.
This is no way to win back to back to back AAU Championships.
Andy, dude, that’s what I meant when I talked about the early ones meaning just as much as the other ones. Opening day, doesn’t get much earlier than that, dude. People always say I don’t understand that, but back in San Francisco we used to always win on Opening day. And back when I hit behind Hank Aaron we used to always give it our best on Opening day. Because they all count the same, dude. We’re in the earn it business.
I dont care how crappy, boring and drawn out this game has been, if the Cubs can get me, its a good day.
If Neifi gets a hit here, it’s goodby to Ronny Ce.
Yeah, Danny Distachio’s not the only one. Fer chrissakes, can we get this over and done with already?
Neifi really fills out those pants, doesn’t he
And I score the extra point. Wanna bet Dusty now starts me for a week?
Neifi’s not the only one who’s filling his pants today.
Neifi’s got 2 runs and 2 rbis, dudes. He saved this game. He’s the starter now, dudes.
Hey, my pants are full
I caught one!
Discussion Question:
Which is uglier, this game or Anna Benson?
Use examples.
345—at least you can keep your pockets in, though.
I’ve got to be the only cat on the block that would complain of boredom on Opening Day. During a Cubs rout, no less.
Yes, this game has been a ho-hummer, but for Pete’s sake quit sharing ass-sticks with BC!
I expected Freddy Bynum to be some sort of Hispanic, for some reason.
I’m black?
I’m not black?
Is Hank the only one left on me?
I can’t spell my own name?
353—you’re not? I can’t even tell anymore. Wear some sunscreen.
I’m keeping Hank company
Thank fuck for that.
Cubs win!!!!! Cubs win!!!! Holy Cow!!!! I am soooo blitzed now!!!!!
How did theriot make the team if Bynum is on it?
They were going to spend the 10th Inning Show showing all of Adam Dunn’s dropped flyballs, but they only have ten minutes.
Feels good to say.
Ryan’s on the cell phone from Des Moines keeping me entertained. I can hear him dance!
FYC! ( i know Corey aint here any more.. but he was complaing about a win.. so…) FYC! FYC!
dusty here, where you at in mexico, dude?
Did Matt Murton hit a first inning clutch home run off me?