Today must be a really bad day for Jim Hendry. It’s not enough that the team he has constructed looks like its going to be good for about eight runs a week (tops) the rest of the way, but suddenly, even two of the dumbest men in the world have figured out that Jim really didn’t do a very good job this past offseason.
Phil Rogers (moron #1) is on to Hendry and finally seems to understand that Dusty’s coaches can’t…you know…coach. Gee, it only took you four years to figure that out, eh Philbert?
Jay Mariotti (moron #2) is piling all of the blame on Hendry. The scary part? He makes sense for almost an entire column. I know, I couldn’t believe it either. For Jay, this is as lucid as he gets, which means that the problems have become so obvious that even he can see them.
Within Jay’s daily ramblings, is mention of an article written for InsidetheIvy.com by our old buddy Steve Holley about a disgruntled former Cubs’ number one draft pick named Ike Clanton. No, wait, Ike Clanton was in “Tombstone”, this is Matt Clanton.
The Cubs released him in January, and as far as I can tell from this pitiful hack job he’s not pitching for anybody right now.
It’s just typical Mariotti that he mentions this article in his column and makes it seem like it’s a big deal, when the reality is that even had it been written by someone with an ability to form actual thoughts and sentences, the article would basically say this:
Matt Clanton was a selfish tool in junior college who pulled himself out of a playoff game because the draft was coming up and he didn’t want to get hurt and lose a big pay day. The Cubs didn’t bother to do any homework on him and drafted him in the first round. He sucked. Jim Hendry yelled at him. The Cubs waived him. Matt thinks the Cubs owe him something when it looks like he went out and cashed his two million dollar signing bonus.
Good stuff. Better clear a spot on the shelf for your Pulitzer. I’m sure 60 Minutes will be calling you this afternoon trying to add you to the lineup. “Ooh, you scored an interview with a baseball player who got released and thinks his old team was mean to him?” There’s a trick. You can go to the Y and find six of them tomorrow.
But there’s good news from the Midwest League! Kerry Wood stuck out 12 batters in five innings. You know, it’s almost like he’s a Major League pitcher and he was pitching to low-A prospects or something. Terrific. Where’s the Midwest League All-Star Game this year? Maybe Kerry can start in it?
The good news, I suppose is that Kerry made it through 70 pitches without his arm falling off and he must have had some semblance of control. But then again, it could have been that the guys were swinging at anything, I don’t know. What I do know is that unlike Wade Miller and Mark Prior, Kerry seems to actually be making progress. Which is nice.
If you were keeping track, another week has gone by without the Cubs making a move to improve their offense. I love the “it’s too early to make a trade” defense for Hendry. That’s right, I’m sure that if you offered another team something they needed in exchange for something they have in surplus that they’d tell you that it’s too early to make a trade. You’d better not try, then. Just sit around and watch your team go 80 innings between two run outbursts. That’s good stuff. Is there a way I can pay extra for this kind of quality entertainment? I’m going to start mailing twenty dollar bills to the Tribune Tower every time Jock Jones forgets how many outs there are, which base to throw to, or where the strike zone is, just because I enjoy watching it so much. Oh, this is great.
Friday’s column about how the Cubs were already done as dinner elicited some expected “Why are you such a hurry to give up?” comments.
I don’t see it as giving up. I see it as coming to grips with the stark reality that clinging that this isn’t just a bump in the road. We’ve seen those before. This isn’t one of those slumps that most of the teams ends up in at the same time and three months later you look back and go, “Man, remember how much they struggled there for those few games. I almost forgot.” This is something that we won’t have to strain ourselves to remember. We won’t forget it, because it’s likely to pop up several more times this season. That’s assuming they ever get out of it.
I don’t begrudge those of you who choose to stay optimistic. Go for it. I hope you’re right and I’m wrong.
But I’m not wrong.
Remember how bad last year was? This year’s on the same track. Great!
Jock Jones says he’s been on teams every year that slump like this. Hey Jock, ever think it might be you?
Dusty caused an uproar when he said the Cubs need a lefty bp pitcher. Guess what? The Sox have one.
Steve Rosenbloom chats with Jody Davis. My fondest Jody Davis memory is that my dad and I went to a July 4 doubleheader at Wrigley against the Expos. Jody came up in the ninth with the winning runs on base and the crowd chanted “Jo-dee, Jo-dee, Jo-dee” and he struck out. We groaned. Game two, he comes up in the ninth again with a chance to win it, the crowd chanted “Jo-dee, Jo-dee, Jo-dee” and he struck out again. We booed. We still liked Jody, but we booed him because he choked twice in one afternoon. See, we boo because we care! Unless you’re Jock Jones, then we just boo because we don’t like you.
This kid pitcher at class A. He might be all right.
Groucho on the mess in Memphis and why both Nazr Mohammed and Drew Gooden seem like good bets to be Bulls.
I understand that football fans love the draft because it gives them a reason to watch something football-related for 16 hours in April. But here’s the folly of draft analysis. Had the Bears drafted Oregon tight end Tim Day in the third round, draft gurus would have said things like “that’s a bit of a reach, but a pretty good pick nonetheless” if they’d taken him in the fourth round, the gurus would have applauded the pick. Day just signed with the Bears as an undrafted free agent. Also, it’s nice that Devin Hester can catch punts when it’s windy. That’ll be a nice change of pace. I think you can make an argument that Hester is an offensive pick for the Bears, even though he’ll play defensive back. He was a lights-out kick and punt returner at Miami, and because the Bears defense forces so many punts, having one of those guys can turn a lot of field position.
Chris DeLuca notices that Kerry Wood rehab starts aren’t a huge event anymore. That’s because they’ve been running longer than “Cats.”
Mark Cuban is begging for another fine. Even if he claims he ran this buy the league first.
America’s finest news source on great moments in Kentucky Derby history.
Its nice that Wood was able to make a start and right now seems to be progressing along in his rehab, but I agree with you Andy, striking out single A players isn’t much of a point for getting excited is it?
Ehh, Man! Let’s smoke some and take out those corporate rats, man! Not far, Man! Ok! Man, I’m so stoned….fuck the government man!Fuck Jim Hendry Man! Fuck baseball man…fuck me man!! Ohh, so sad.
“By now, Cubdom should have the process memorized: towel toss, soft toss, long toss, throwing on flat ground, throwing off a mound, throwing simulated games, pitching in the minors, then returning to the majors and pitching a few games before something else tweaks and the DL door re-opens.”
Let me try to be optimistic for a minute. If the Cubs keep sucking this bad, maybe Dustbag will be fired. Thats as optimistic about this shitty team as I can get.
I was at that same Jody Davis DH! So what year was that DH anyway? I’d love to see the box scores from those 2 games. I remember my dad was ready to bail after the 7th inning because the Cubs were way behind in the 2nd game. I successfully begged him to stay, saying the Cubs would come back. They almost did but Davis struck out with the bases loaded to end the 2nd game. It took 20 + years but I’m now every bit as jaded as my dad was about the Cubs. Thank you Jim Hendry.
I left the bar when the Cubs had a guy on first with nobody out in the Top of 10 Saturday night, got back to the girlfriend’s, turned on WGN and found the game was over. My first thought – great, we scored the runner, held them and won. My next thought – wait, we didn’t score and gave up the walk-off bomb. I then checked online to find my better instinct was right.
And how painful was it watching whatever dumbfuck was behind the plate Saturday ring Murton up twice in key spots (one right before Berut’s triple, one with guys on in the 8th or 9th) on pitches 6 inches off the plate, only to not give them to the Cubs’ pen… or Marshall in the 6th?
The Cubs woke up on July 4 of me closer to first place than any other team in town. They then got swept by a bunch of Frenchies.
In Game 1:
CUBS 8TH: Durham singled; Cey struck out; Moreland singled
[Durham to second]; Davis was called out on strikes; Bowa
singled [Durham scored, Moreland to second]; WOODS BATTED FOR
BRUSSTAR; Woods made an out to right; 1 R, 3 H, 0 E, 2 LOB.
Expos 6, Cubs 3.
http://retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B07041CHN1983.htm
In Game 2:
CUBS 9TH: Sandberg made an out to right; Buckner singled;
SCHATZEDER REPLACED BURRIS (PITCHING); Durham walked [Buckner to
second]; REARDON REPLACED SCHATZEDER (PITCHING); Cey walked
[Buckner to third, Durham to second]; WOODS RAN FOR CEY;
Moreland struck out; Bowa walked [Buckner scored, Durham to
third, Woods to second]; Davis struck out; 1 R, 1 H, 0 E, 3 LOB.
Expos 4, Cubs 2.
I knew it! Andy was one of those fuckin’ fans that showed up to fuckin’ boo in 1983! Wrigley Field was a fuckin’ playground for the cocksucker!
Don’t forget my article:
http://www.dailyherald.com/sports/story.asp?id=186433
Is John Mabry the white Lenny Harris or is Jacque Jones the black John Mabry?
A losing Cubs team is good for baseball.
You have some fine points in your article. It amazes me that every single fucking god damn person on earth sees these things, yet Jim Hendry wont use his donut grabbers to dial the phone. Make a god damn move. Send some to Iowa, do something you asshole. Obligatory mean spirited weight comment: AT LEAST I CAN SEE MY VERY OWN COCK WHEN I SHOWER!
I cna’t figure out why Mabry doesn’t play 1B when there’s a right-handed starter and put Walker at 2B. Walk has done OK defensively at 1B, but Neifi and Hairston suck, so in essence that’s who you have replacing D-Lee.
Maybe Dusty is tanking it because he’s been told he won’t get an extension right now, so this is a way to shove it up everybody’s (management and fans) ass.
I didn’t see Bruce’s article. The Herald Web site does a good job of hiding everything except for Rozner and Imrem (not that I’d ever read Imrem). He’s exactly right. I’m not sure that Dance Fever Theriot would do any good, what harm is there?
You also wonder why the Cubs sat around and did nothing last week when they saw lefty after lefty after lefty (five in six games if I remember right). Why not bring Pie up for the week to platoon with Jock? Would that really have done any harm?
“Chris DeLuca notices that Kerry Wood rehab starts aren’t a huge event anymore. That’s because they’ve been running longer than “Cats.—
AMEN.
I had five hits in three games against the Marlins this past weekend to boost my average all the way up to .237! I guess I can stop talking about retiring…for a couple days.
Maybe Dusty is tanking it so he can blame Hendry when he goes to interview with Arizona in 4 months. I can’t see how Dusty wants to come back. And Scoop already has the racism column ready for when Dusty exits.
Cats closed on Broadway a few years ago. Wood opens in the Bronx in April.
You’re probably right, Dave. I’ve never seen a manager manage out of spite quite so much as Dust Fart. The guy spent two months last year with Corey and Neifi #1 and #2 just to prove what a stubborn, spiteful prick he could be. Good times being a Cub fan, eh? Shoot me now.
Sure you could call up Pie.
Or you could actually start ME when facing a lefty.
Sure you could call up Pie.
Or you could actually start ME when facing a lefty.
I think this was the spelling you were going for 20 and 21.
Starting Bynum in left field is a statement. Starting Jones in right is another. Pinch hitting with Restovich at any time is another. Using Novoa and Ohman is a cry for help.
The Cubs promoted Theirot, anyone hear who they demoted? Hopefully its Bynum.
If Baker’s not getting an extension, fire him and eat the rest of the deal. Bring in a lesser-known name for the rest of the year and make it an audition for next year. Yes, it could work out like Jim Essian and Bruce Kimm. But maybe it’ll work out like Jack McKeon.
Hell, why does Pierre get a pass and Jock gets platooned? Why not Pie in CF and leave Jock in RF? I’m telling you, Jock has not been that good, but there are bigger offensive holes on this team, especially at lead-off/CF.
With any luck, it’ll be Hendry and MacPhail who get demoted.
If they fire me, can I avoid paying taxes on the rest of my salary?
Good point Dave, Jock has been mediocre to bad, and his mistakes are all magnified because he is a panty hose wearing noodle armed fagatron.
Pierre needs to be hit in the nuts with a sack of rocks. WAKE UP JUAN.
Perhaps if Dusty is fired he could use the extra time to update his blog?
Dave, because Juan needs to play in the hopes that his numbers improve so we can trade him. Nobody’s taking Jacque Jones with two years left on his deal.
Andy suggested sitting Jock against some of the lefties based on the fact that he’s never been able to hit them, which is something the Cubs knew before they signed him. Pierre should “get a pass” because, unlike Jock, he’s got a clue against a lefty.
I don’t have two years left on my deal, 31. I’ve got two years and two thirds. Muahahahahahahaha! Pay me, bitches!
Actually, Pierre’s been horseshit against lefties too.
.140/.178/.140
Yuck.
#34, that’s what, 40 ABs this year? The actuality is that Pierre’s nearly .300 career against lefties. Jock’s .223 career with little power.
It looks as though I’m a little late, but the Cubs have promoted IF Ryan Theriot from AAA Iowa. http://www.rotoworld.com is reporting that OF Michael Restovich could be the victim of the call-up, but Somebody Bynum should be considered instead.
Have the Cubs won since I got sent down?
I’m out of options, and Donut Jim will keep me rather than risk dropping me into the abyss. That’s right. IMA RUIN EVERYTHING!
Interesting to see the various degrees of throwing in the towel on the season. TJ Brown has the right idea. If you’re quitting, it’s time to discuss realistically what should be done next.
The facetious suggestions that the manager is tanking games out of spite or that the prime free agent acquisition in CF is only out there to be showcased at this point don’t advance the discussion. Those were facetious posts, right? It’s been a long 5 weeks but no one’s disappointment could have warped their view of reality that much.
Pretty sure they are facetious. But do not worry. Start the realistic future suggestions thread and we can brainstorm.
We’re me, #39. We’re me.
You want discussion? Go watch the McLaughlin Group, asshole.
What is dusty talking about? The cubs have a left handed bp pitcher, his name is Glendon Rusch.
How do you like my new name?
Part of the reason that the media is more eager to blame Jim Hendry than Dusty Baker is the social concern on the part of the media that a black manager do well.
I won a World Series, Rush. The world didn’t end.
Why not call me up? Got something against having 3 consecutive vowels? AA players either start or get beaned, either way, it’s entertaining.
I’ll be more famous if I never return to the Bigs than if I do.
Am i really the new ace
Listen, until all of you begin to build a daily chant/ crescendo
at Wrigley before and during the game…”It’s Hendrey’s fault”
I mean, over and over, you know until the cameras start training
on me… I will continue to do nothing and tell you that nobody
wants to deal…even though I have Guzman’s, Hill’s, Olhman’s,
Brownlee’s, Novoa’s up the ying yang…and I could package any 3
of them and GET SOMEBODY WHO HITS WITH POWER…sorry,
I temporarily lost it. Go Nefi, go Jerry, and Pierre…
I’m running low on Scope. Intern!