Wow, you can sky.A report in the New York Daily News today says that the Yankees would like to trade for Cubs’ superstar Jock Jones. 

Wait, what is today?  No, it’s not April 1.  Does anybody know if the writer, Sam Borden, is a crack addict?

I understand that the Yankees have never cared much about defense or baserunning when it came to evaluating players.  They just want guys who can rake.  Jock’s halfway there.  He can’t field or run the bases with any degree of common sense, but he also can’t really hit.

Sure he’s at .288 right now.  But you and I both know that .288 is just a weigh station for Jock’s batting average before it continues it’s annual plunge to .250.

Surely, the mighty Yankees, of all teams, know this.  Right?

I have nothing personal against Jock.  I know that there’s a sidebar on this site that lists why we’re booing him on this particular day, but…OK that probably seems personal.  But I’m more frustated with the Cubs than with Jock.  Why they gave him a three year deal at almost $6 million a year never made any sense.  But now they apparently have a chance to give that mistake away.

After watching him play on a daily basis, I’m actually surprised the Twins won as many games as they did during his tenure.  Jock is, simply put, not a “winning” ballplayer.  He’s a liability defensively, where his good speed is wasted by his inability to track a flyball and his arm is a laughable combination of weeny and scatter.  When he does get on base, which almost never happens by way of a walk, he seems confused as to the order in which you have to step on them to make it all the way back around to home. 

Jock.  It’s first, then second, then third, then home.  I know that you like to go first, then second, then second again, then get tagged out, but it’s not how it works.

He can’t hit lefty pitching with any consistency, which is understandable, though the Cubs are busy trying a platoon in the other outfield spot.

The Yankees are missing both of their corner outfielders, so Jock makes sense for them.  Gary Sheffield will probably be back before the end of the season, though given the varied diagnoses he received on his injury (the first time he hurt it and then when he reinjured it) probably is too strong of a word.  Hideki Matt Suhey says he’ll be back, but what he did to his wrist was like taking Derrek Lee’s broken wrist and then cutting off the hand, then sewing it back on with dental floss and a fishing hook.

The Yankees don’t care about what they’ll do with Jock next year.  As a veteran traded during a multi-year contract he could demand a trade before next season.  I’m sure that would just crush the Yankees and their fans.  Much like it crushed them when they got rid of Andy Fox.

Ironically, the biggest problem with trading Jock Jones is convincing Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker that it’s a good idea.  You would think that if anybody has noticed that Jock, despite a solid batting average (so far) is a bad baseball player, it would be his manager and general manager.  But those two dopes seem to only value two things in an offensive player.  Batting average (which we know is a farce) and home runs.  Given that criteria, is it any wonder Dusty voted for Rick Wilkins to win the 1993 MVP award?

This is the frustration of being a Cubs’ fan.  A lot of fans think they know more than the “braintrust” of their favorite club.  We know we do.  You wouldn’t have given Jock a three year contract.  But if Jock had gotten you drunk and you woke up with a sore jaw, a sore ass and a signed contract, you’d know enough to trade him right now, when his value (such that it is) is at a relative high.

When Derrek Lee comes off the DL on Friday in Minnesota (as all signs point to) the Cubs will need to make a player move.  It probably…incredibly…means that Matt Murton goes to Iowa.  Unbelievable.  Why not just trade Jock to open a spot?

Honestly, the obvious move would be to DFA Neifi, but we all know that’s not going to happen. 

Who plays right?  Who cares?  Play Freddie Boom Boom Bynum out there for all I care.  The long-term future of the Cubs is what we’re concerned about.  With Jock off the books, Hendry can try it again this offseason.  Maybe this time he ends up Carlos Lee or Lee May or Carlos Bernard (by the way, I saw good old Tony Almeda throw out the first pitch last Thursday, he reminded me of a less tan, righthanded Chuck McElroy).  Anything but Jock.

Eventually, this season, you want to turn an outfield spot over to Felix Pie, anyway.  (Though right now his numbers are abysmal at Iowa.  His average is down to .253, he’s four for eleven in stolen base attempts has struck out nearly three times as many times as he’s walked.)  Why not open one right now when you can?

Given the pathetic right field that Jock has played, you can put pear-shaped Phil Nevin (that blousy jersey isn’t fooling anybody, tubby) in right and it won’t hurt the defense.

What should the Cubs get back from the Yankees?  Does it matter?  It may not look like a salary dump, or smell like one, but it’s what it would be.  Pick a AA prospect you think might have a chance and just pull the trigger.

Nobody likes Jock, so it’s not like the fans will be any more pissed off than they are already.

But when Jock is hitting .244 in August and the deadline has passed, we’ll all look back at the week in June when he would have been easy to move, and we’ll all pause to boo.