Not one, but two chances to see the Cubs lose today.
Brought to you by:
It’s on BBCAmerica now, Mondays at 9 p.m. It’s surprisingly great.
Pitching matchup
Game one:
Snakes: Juan (Pablo) Cruz, 3-6, 4.84 ERA
Cubs: The Marmot, 4-4, 4.39 ERA
Game two: (brought to you by)
Snakes: Enrique Gonzalez (who?) 3-2, 4.96 ERA
Cubs: Juan Mateo, 0-0, 0.00 ERA
The star power of these pitching matchups is epic.
I thought the title to this Gamecast was a place to discuss me.
What am I? A british Quantum Leap? If so, count me in.
Who wants one?
JD?
Paul’s gay dad’s gay dick?
Hendry?
Dusty?
Neifi?
Mel?
I only swerve for Jesus
Lookee here, a GameCast!
This promises to be depressingly hilarious.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
who’s playing?
Andy Masur just reported I’ve been placed on the DL with “tennis elbow”. I guess they told him not to say that I just plain suck.
David Aardsma will be shaving, er…joining the team sometime today.
I just farted.
So I’m at Border’s looking for a book,(The Bad Guys Won, the story of drugs, booze, babes and the 86 Mets, should be a good one) and I came a across a book I’d never seen before.
I almost fell over laughing.
The librarian or whatever they call those douchebags asked if I was alright.
The book title you ask??? Baseball For Dummies by Joe Morgan.
Huh?!?!
How can you write a book when you’re the target audience?
Maybe Dusty and the boys should pick up a copy,
or maybe they already did…
I’d just like to point out that Eric Byrnes is putting up better numbers than Jock for about $1.5 million less (and I think Byrnes is on a one year deal).
AZ
Mr. Byrnes CF
Tracy Chapman 3B
Luis HGHonzales lf
Connor Jackson 1B
Shawn Green rf
Orlando Woolridge 2b
Scott Drew SS
C. Underwater Snydor c
Juanny P
Cubs
Lucky CF
Pizza!Pizza! SS
Beirut c
E-Rammy 3B
Jock RF
Mayberry 1B
On-Hell Puh-Gone lf
Neifilicious 2B
The Marmot P
Can’t I get a call up to replace GlenDon?
who am I?
I’m pitching right now as a dodger. If you guys get bored with 8 hours of the cubs, come check me out.
BRAAAAVVVEEE!!!!!
#28 career HR at wrigley. bitches.
Life on Mars picking up steam with the Desipiots! Self pat on back…eeeeeeeeyes.
Drew, 2bi triple. this is going to be a long day.
If I get an RBI single off of you, get the fuck outta here. Every swing I take is an underwater swing.
Is it too early to forfeit the first game and save the pen for the second?
yes it’s too early for that #20, remember, It’s me pitching.
I hate this team
#21 You forget how we hit former mediocre Cubs pitchers…
oops. missed that one.
K
Hey #23, name is Juan dude. I’m not just some number.
racist.
When do the Cubs get to bat? Or did I miss that as part of the commercial break?
check out my new film, given away to the first 2,000 adults at game 2.
I love listening to Bob ramble on and on about the DBacks. Hes worse than McCarver and the Cards
I’m a speed demon?
This game sucks. There’s another one later but what to do in the meantime? Work? Nah, fuck that. How bout reading this instead?
https://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=2545.45
I’ve altredy thrown 640 pitches and it’s still the second inning.
And we have a rookie making his first big league start in Game 2?
ORLY?
If it were hot, Marmol would be pitching well – Dusty, what do you do with all of these players born to work in the heat on a cool summer day?
hey #30, that thread takes me back. w’hee.
that caramis guy sure was funny.
and brian, oh man, what a dream boat…
I like this guy Izzaturis.
Pizza, Pizza…he he…
I like pizza too.
This board is funny.
I should hang out here more.
But you guys keep using these wierd terms like ORLY and MEP and OBP. I think I figured out what the first to are…but I have no idea what the last one means…it’s probably some stupid self rererrential partly, an “O B” party, wiith pirate beer.
#30…I always like seeing old threads that I(?) was part of.
Well, at least I can hit.
Jim, did you say there was an online beer party?
Go Neifi!
Sorry Jim, we stole the pirates’ beer because we’re cooler. I hear that Jim Tracy is bringing a few cases of Iron City in this weekend though.
I’m catching game two, gang. I’ll see if I can’t get four hits closer to this DiMaggio hack.
Defensively, Eric Byrnes reminds me of a young Candy Maldonado.
mmm….Candy.
I have entered the building. Repeat. David Aardsma has just entered the building.
There’s no way you were alive when Candy Maldonado was young.
mmm…young candy.
David Aardsma OWNS Andy Green.
I’m singing the stretch in game 2. Get ready it hug it out, fuckers!
I love how the Cubs bring up bad young players to ruin any possible trade potential they have. The Cubs are not very sly.
this has to be one of the fastest bases load situations ever.
Perez-Cedeno-Pierre-Izturis
Could that have possibly ended any other way? I doubt it very highly.
One of the crappiest, too.
We’re the poster child for offensive efficiency and why walks are really bad.
I call him See-zer Iz-uh-tur-ees when his name is Say-zar Iz-tur-is, and I say he’s a two time Gold Glove winner when he’s actually won one. Did I even tradef or the guy I thought I was getting?
Yep, 8 on 8, and the Cubs with their 1 run on 7 hits would be the other case in point. Of course, 10 LOB is unhelpful.
Damn, 3 and half hours for the first game?
Guess who threw the only scoreless inning?
On the season, the Cubs have 59 more hits than the Devil Rays (6%) and yet have 34 fewer runs (7.6%). Seriously, I am comparing them to the Devil Rays. I hate this team.
For f#$% sake, Pat! Stop calling me “Louie”! My name is not “Loo-e”. Luis Castillo? He’s not “Lou-e” either! Who the hell told you the ‘s’ was silent in Luis?!?
Did we start the same pitcher in both games of the doubleheader, Patrick? That has to be a record.
IF CINCI LOSES TONIGHT TO ME AND YOU MORONS SOMEHOW WIN THE SECOND GAME…YOU’RE ONLY 10.0 GB. That’s right.
I have never heard of half the players in this doubleheader…are you sure these are MAJOR League games???
It’s a warm day and the sun is out and I’m whiter than white. Yet, I’m 3 for 3 all doubles and 5 RBI. Dusty can you please explain this to me using all of your baseball knowledge.
We would rather watch gay porn together than watch Glen-Done make another spot start this season.
I’d rather watch gay porn too. Sorry, what was the question again?
Ueker who? I’ll frickin’ say “CUBBIES”
Hey Edmonds…just because you are into gay porn does not make you gay. The guy blowing you while you view it, however, might be.
I’m back, female doges.
Don’t worry #67 I’m still gonna bench your white ass for the next two weeks.
Fuck no hitters. Fuck Hall of Famers. Give me Izturis any day.
I’m ready to sit. My mind is just not in the game.
10.0 DOGES
Lets see….inspiring start to the season. Devistating injuries, piss poor play. Lacksidasical errors, disapointing players. Lots of Neifi, no Dusty firing, failure to improve team for next year at the trading deadline.
What does this team need to do to really twist the knife in all Cubs fans. How about a promising end to the season followed by more ineptitude next year. LETS DO IT!
this site sucks….why nothing ever gets updated is beyond me. 4 days no updates….boring.
More like five.
come on man get with the program. the cubs are making noise in the wild card race, only 9.5 out. how many teams can say they are 9.5 out in august with no pitching, no hitting, no defense, no fundamentals, and a dusty baker as their manager. just one. if this team pulls it together and does a little 03 marlins 04-05 astros on everybody, we might have carlos marmol pouring bubbly all over juan mateo and glendon rusch
I’m creating a new edition of my book Wrigleyworld to take out any mention of your site. This site is a sham, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
At least write about the Bears if the Cubs suck. Jeez.