Today’s game is brought to you by a Cardinals fan being hit by a trash can. This will never get old.
Pitching matchup
Phillies: Cole Hamels, 6-6, 4.40 ERA
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano, 13-5, 3.34 ERA
Today’s game is brought to you by a Cardinals fan being hit by a trash can. This will never get old.
Pitching matchup
Phillies: Cole Hamels, 6-6, 4.40 ERA
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano, 13-5, 3.34 ERA
I gotta save my team’s butts again? This is rediculous. It reminds me of one time back home with my brother when one sum- OW Damn carpel tunnel syndrome. Dusty! Call someone else up to start.
Hamels/Zambrano?
This actually might be a fun game to watch.
Over/Under on combined strikeouts for the 2 starters: 22
More fun, wind is blowing straight out to left at a million miles an hour.
Has anyone seen my piano keys?
Lucky Pierre
The Riot (who stole my neifi?)
IHOP
Phillacio
The Big Red Machine
Bear It.
Angelica Pagan
Ron Ce
Big Z
Jock is sitting against a tough lefty. Only took a year to figure that out.
For some reason I can’t get that damn tart out of my head, the one who did the 7th inning stretch and had this to say:
“Let’s go Dusty and the Cubbies!!!”
Did I wake up on the wrong side of the whathaveya?
Jelly Roll Morton
Bobby Abreu, I mean Shane Victorino
Chase Bank
The Black Babe Ruth
David Delucci
C. Coste (who?)
J. Thurston (also, who?)
Honest Abe Nunez
Cole Hahn
Did I just hear Larry Rothschild say that the Cubs need to stop pitching around guys and 3 ball counts? Is this Bizarro Desipio/WGN?
is the funniest part of that video.”HA….HA…HA….OOOHH NOOOOOO..”
BRAVE!
Brave!
BREHHHHHHHHVE!
Over/under on pitches thrown by Z through 6 innings: 110
Todays my day…I always go deep on young twink rookies
Is it me or did Wayne Messmer sound particularly bad today?
I know Wrigley is all about tradition, but Messmer is one tradition I wouldn’t mind seeing end right away.
He’s not that good, and there’s nothing clever about going up for the last note instead of going down like the original melody. We get it, it’s your signature BRAVE thing, but it’s just annoying.
Yep, that’s right, I’m an umpire and my name is Rungy.
I’m blowing straight out today boys.
Screw you Dan! I survived a gunshot to the neck! What have you done?
I take shits bigger than Victorino
Shane Victorino is my fay-diddly-avorite player.
I have Paper Chase Utley instead of Victorino on 2nd.
Terrible throw.
Never mind
Terrible Throw: The Story of the 2006 Chicago Cubs Outfield
You see how Zambrano fooled us… he walked the 2nd guy of the game instead of the leadoff hitter.
It’s one run, but Big Z needs to get this pitch count down, quick.
My team photo makes me look a little like John Mark Karr.
OW!!!!! My ass!!!!
It must be, considering Aramis tripled.
How’s that for hustle, doges?
My bad.
I have returned. E-ramis gets thrown out at home.
BOMBS AWAY!
The Phillies fans in my office are already sending me e-mails “We’ll take 3 of 4.” Even they respect Big Z.
This gloomy weather makes me want to take a nap….Aw hell who am I kidding, dude? Anytime is a good time for a nap.
Hey #34, go to sleep. We’re better off without you.
I need to shut the fuck up
#24, don’t forget
Terrible Towel: The Mark Prior Story
Cubs waste 2 runs at home and still have managed to score 4?
The Meteoric Rise and Fall of Mark Prior.
Practical uses of sugary glaze by Jim Hendry
The Inside Story of Jim Hendry’s Unfortunate Reign
Good Management Techniques by Dusty Baker
Again, can someone tell me why I’m not playing every day? What the fuck else do I have to do? Smear shoe polish on my face to look black?
What it is, Jive Turkey?
…..
Neifi’s little lumber in the two-hole.
I laff at all ju leettle beeches. Next stop, Worl Seerees!
All the Phillies fans in the office have tapped. I’m the only one following/listening now.
Did one of me just yell out “BOOOOO!!!!! That was dirty, Sanches!”
Aren’t you glad we came all at once, instead of spread out amongst a couple of games?
Put a few beers in us and we could be a funny, ironic bunch.
Hitting that 3 run with-the-wind against a pitcher who today clearly couldn’t pitch BOMB will get me in the lineup for the next three weeks, bitches! “He’s just got more power than Murton, dude. Look at the numbers.” That’s Dusty, bitches! Please someone burn my minor league statistics… if they were found… this could all disappear….
Not if I pull a Tonya Harding on your kneecap you won’t, 52!
I lead the league in meaningless solo homeruns!
how far were those? gameday looks like they were about 430 and 450 ft blasts.
Eleven runs today in 4 innings? thats just great
11 runs? What is this opening day?
I need run support too mang!
Cardinal Fan Gets Blasted by Trash Can: It’s funny on sooooo many levels!!!
Hope you guys do better than we did last night!
Another single! Prepare to rot on the bench, you smooth-swinging albino!
Our penchant for having 5 scoreless losses followed by a game like this, followed by 5 more scoreless losses during which we take the same hacks we took today (ie no patience, swing for the fences, despite having no power in the lineup), is probably why we’re the worst franchise in the NL. Worse than Pittsburgh even? Yes. Yes we are.
I will be striking out until I am 90.
Animal husbandry by Jim Edmonds
Please somebody just put me out of my misery.
Can I count on you Cubs fans to support my show? I love Wrigley Stadium. Go Sammy!
When’d we get Todd Walker back?
Shut up, Brenly dude. Z is gunta complete this game. I know what I’m doing. You ever meet Hank Aaron? Hank said to let Z pitch 150 pitches with a ten run lead. He left a message to that effect on my answering machine just last night. “Dusty,” he said, “now if that boy of yours, that Zambarino, has a ten run lead, why Dusty, you just have to let him throw 160 pitches.” Now dude it goes against my beliefs to contradict Hank but I thought 160 was just crazy and it’s not like I want to risk Z’s arm, I mean Z is a big boy but he ain’t that big a boy, so I toned it down and decided 150 would be ok.
I think I’m more in need of an exercise bicycle than a cycle.
Now why people gonna accuse me of working my pitchers too hard and ruining their arms? Because I left Zambrano in in an 11-1 blowout? Tired his arm out, had him give up another run and hurt his ERA, and almost had him break his hand stopping a comebacker? Pish posh.
I’m back….
Cubs win? Well, time to dust off the “Keep Dusty” article.
I’m going to bed.
Wow, they won. And, Z got his 14th to put him in the lead of the NL. What does it mean? Ummmm… My ignorant opinion? Not a fucking thing. Just glad Z got a win, even though he threw like shit for the first inning.
For whatever it’s worth: This team will be another headliner at a Tijuana Donkey Show in 2007. Get your tickets now.
If they (the Cubs) prove me wrong, I’ll buy everyone a beer. If not – pay my mortgage for the next two months down here in North Port, Florida. The property taxes suck.
Dusty still concerned with clogging.
Next year: Do the Cubs need to improve their on-base percentage next year? They currently rank last in the National League with a .318 OBP.
“On-base percentage is great if you can score runs and do something with that on-base percentage,” Baker said. “Clogging up the bases isn’t that great to me. The problem we have to address more than anything is the home run problem.”
Jim Edmonds’ cock tastes like chicken. Please pass the cayenne pepper sauce…
When Edmonds goes goes ball deep I don’t wah wah. Maybe a little wah wah.
That clip is hysterical.
By the way, what the hell is going on in that clip? A tornado? I don’t know what I’m laughing at exactly.