Is it a good sign when you get introduced at your first ever press conference as Illinois head men’s basketball coach and one of your new fans gets up and yells and you have to ask, “Is he booing me?”

That was the reaction new Illinois sandwich distributor Bruce Weber gave when an Orange Krush member gave him the “Bruuuuuuuuuuce!” treatment yesterday. He’ll learn.

All Weber will have to do is look up at the scoreboard. If Illinois is ahead, it’s “Bruuuuuuuuce!” If they are behind, it’s the other one.

So a little more than a week after Bill Self got the red carpet treatment at Kansas, Bruce Weber got it at Illinois. Self was greeted at Kansas like a conquering hero. Weber was greeted at Illinois with, “Hey, nice to meet you. Have you seen our new coach anywhere? Oh, that’s you? That’s, uh, neat!?!”

Regardless, Bruce is fired up and ready to go. He’ll hold workouts with the players today and he’s already met with each of them individually to try and get to know them and make them comfortable with him. Nick Smith already compared him to Bill Self. Nick’s a smart guy. Maybe he’s just predicting Bruce will leave in three years?

Not all is rosy in Champaign today, though. Mariotti put down the doughnut today to accuse Illinois AD Ron Guenther of refusing to consider minorities for head coaching jobs. I agree with the idea that minorities should be considered for jobs everywhere. I also agree that it might be high time for the Sun-Times to hire a minority to be their top columnist.

It’s a little troubling that Ron Guether seemed so hell bent on hiring a guy who wouldn’t ever want to leave. Ambition is not a bad thing, Ron.

Lots of cute Bruce Weber stories here.

Rob Judson is stuck in DeKalb. Forever. Have a burrito! You’ll feel better.

At Carbondale the students were so depressed about losing their coach that they hardly had the energy to get stoned.

Angry Andy Bagnato actually likes this hire. He also likes Steak n’ Shake. Allow me to tell a Steak n’ Shake story for you. A guy I used to work with, just an awful, whiny guy, stopped at a Steak n’ Shake in Peoria one time and ordered a chocolate shake. When the order came they accidentally had given him a strawberry one. Innocent mistake, right? This guy drives around the restaurant again and whines to the people in the drive thru window. I know how whiny and annoying this guy can be. I’m sure he had it set on full power. A normal person doesn’t get that worked up over a shake flavor mishap. This guy would have acted like you ran over his dog. So he gets his chocolate shake finally and goes back out on the road. He’s enjoying it until he gets to the bottom of the shake, when he thinks there’s a big hunk of ice cream too thick for the straw. He opens the shake and finds a used band aid. Steak n’ Shake immediately shot up on my list of “coolest restaurants” ever with that move. You cannot convice me they didn’t do this on purpose. You also cannot convince me that he didn’t deserve it.

Mike Downey likes Bruce Weber.

Tell Dee Brown to suck it up, OK? This just means in October we’ll have to read a mile of “Dee loves Bruce” articles.

Herb Gould seems to think Bruce is the right guy.

Lindsey Willhite with another cute Bruce Weber story. This one has already been chronicled in a bad George Strait song.

Personally, I like Kerry Wood’s approach to pitching to Barry Bonds. Just hit him.

I love Ramon Martinez’s defense at third base, but he can’t hit. It’s time to make a tough decision. It’s either finally time to play Dave Kelton, or trade for somebody good enough to block his path to third for a few years.

The Sox played like they were in a fog. Oh, wait. They were.

Phil Rogers with his take on the current first place teams. While discussing the Cubs he says that the Astros “hurt themselves with the financially motivated decision to release Shane Reynolds.” Did Phil not get the memo that Shane’s arm hurts again and he’s thinking about retiring?

Kerry’s learning how to win without his best stuff. Check out the ad for the Cubs Insider on the page. Nice photo of Jon Lieber. What, they couldn’t find a Bob Scanlan photo to use?

The Sox had to cancel their team photo because of the weather yesterday. Just as well, they’re just going to have to re-take it in two weeks when they fire Jerry Manuel.

Greg Couch with more interesting stuff on the Cubs shady ticket broker deal.

Our pal Larry Eustachy says he’s an alcoholic. Do you know what he just did? He likely just saved his job. As a state employee, Larry is no doubt protected by the same rules that apply to all other governmental employees. Basically, if you have a problem and admit to it before your employer takes steps to fire you, and you actively seek treatment for that problem, you can’t lose your job. Everything you screwed up before you underwent treatment is tossed out. You get a clean slate. Larry’s got himself a good lawyer. And, the best part of this article, I’d forgotten (though we’ve mocked this before) that Larry’s wife name is Stacy. Stacy Eustachy. Wow.

As for the “You can’t fire me, I’m an alcoholic” defense. I’ve seen it work. A woman I worked with in a past life did it. The most aggravating thing. She later admitted to a friend that she liked the treatment because “it’s easy when you don’t really have a problem.” Some people are evil.

The Maneater (not making that up) the student newspaper at Mizzou says that Larry asked for more than just beer at the party.

If the Kansas City Royals get 12 hits in a game, the fans get a dozen Krispy Kremes. That’s just awesome.

Jayson Stark says that Kevin Millwood’s stay in Philly might be a short one. By the way, did you get a look at his wife during the last inning of his no hitter on Sunday? He’s no catch, but honestly, when they first showed her, I thought she was his mom. Yikes.

It barely took Mike Lowell 2,000 at bats to get his first triple. He’s on pace for his career to get…one.

Jan Van Breda Kolff is a real piece of work.

I’m going to miss Stockton to Malone like I’ll miss my favorite hemorrhoid.

Alonzo Mourning is ready to play! Hey, Alonzo, the regular season ended two weeks ago.

Let me see here, Alabama football coach Mike Price spent an hour with a dancer at a strip club. The dancer claims they didn’t do anything raunchy and that he was “a gentleman”. I know Alabama is repressed, but are they this repressed? Where’s Andrew Jones with his “I watched them do some lesbian stuff” testimony from the Gold Club trial? Now that was a story. Oh, and she tried to charge $1,000 worth of room service to his hotel bill? Wait. OK, now you’ve got something.

New Chargers’ GM AJ Smith paid tribute to John Butler on draft day with a nice touch.

Am I the only one who reads Ted Casablanca every week and only understands about half of it? What language is this?

I pity the fool who misappropriates my image in a print ad!

Gee Dub’s going to land on an air craft carrier. Huh? Uh-oh, somebody better recharge the batteries in Dick Cheney’s pacemaker just in case.

For somebody who spends a lot of time in front of the camera, Catherine Zeta-Jones doesn’t like her pictures very often, does she? I’ll bet she’s a real bitch when she takes the kids to K-Mart, too.

America’s finest news source with the tragic news that Bride of Ashcroft is rejecting John Ashcroft. Trust me, just read it.