I woke up this morning annoyed, and I’ll tell you why. Ozzie Guillen really burrows under my skin, lays eggs, and then scratches at me until my skin breaks open and a bunch of venomous spiders runs down my body straight toward my balls.
Seriously, you guys have been around. What’s this f@#$ing guy’s problem? And what the hell is this guy from St. Louis doing trying to stir shit up? And why couldn’t they have centered the camera in front of him instead of making him look out of the corner of his eyes? That’s not casual. That’s just queer. For his sake, I hope he has a goiter or something on the left side of his neck.
In the article, Guillen says, “I own Chicago. Lou doesn’t own (anything) yet.” I’m guessing “(anything)” means “shit.” How were those sensitivity classes, Oz?
He then says,
A couple days ago, somebody asked me who was more famous in Chicago  Lovie Smith, Mike Ditka, Ozzie or Lou. I said, ‘Why do you put Lou here? He hasn’t done (anything) yet in Chicago. Why do you look to put Lou in that spot with Ditka, Lovie and Ozzie?’ Maybe later on in his career, yeah, but right now I think it’s a joke when people think Lou is part of Chicago. He’s not part of Chicago yet. He will be. Of course. He’s good enough for that.
How do you guys put up with this guy? Every time he finishes talking, I expect him to just bust out laughing and say, “Nah, mang, I’m just f@#$ing with you.” And what is with everyone talking in the third person around here? Lou doesn’t like this at all. No, Lou doesn’t like this one bit.
Here’s the worst part. Ozzie says, “Lou reminds me of Dusty. Dusty was the best thing the Cubs ever had. Three years later, he’s the biggest piece of (garbage) they have. That’s part of the game. I hope that doesn’t happen to Lou.”
Don’t worry about me, Oz. Here are some things that aren’t going to happen to Lou.
- Lou’s team will never lose Ozzie Guillen’s team.
- Lou will never stop humping Ozzie Guillen’s wife.
- Lou will never stand for getting disrespected by a little shit who was busy hitting one home run in 1990 while Lou was busy winning one World Championship.
So, Lou has some messages. Ozzie, get bent. Mutant from St. Louis, quit trying to stir shit up. Desipiots, have faith. There’s a reason I’m already more popular than Guillen.
- Someone not named Gordon was actually able to fit his column into the Sun-Times today. He talks about the glut of outfielders we still have in camp right now, and whether a trade might be possible to solve the problem. Start packing your bags for San Diego, Jock.
- Guess what? Now Jason Marquis is our third starter! This just keeps getting better and better!
- Zambrano really does have brass balls, doesn’t he? How the hell did he hit a ball hard enough to have time to take a nap between second and third base while legging out a triple? Oh, and he also doubled yesterday. He was more winded after the game than one of DeRosa’s dates after walking up 10 stairs.
- Maddux apparently forgot that he no longer plays with the Cubs.
Holy (anything) do I hate this piece of (anything).
If Lou would openly admit that he thinks Ozzie is a loudmouth and should keep his opinions to himself, putting aside all this “professional respect” BS, I think I would buy a Piniella jersey.
You hit it on the head, Slak, when you asked why he feels the need to comment on EVERYTHING. I don’t even see where he was asked a question. He just volunteered his opinion for no reason.
The names change, but the obsession with the White Sox doesn’t. Turn the page and maybe you’ll be less annoyed.
Yep, same thing with the Cardinals #5. It’s called hating a team openly. Look it up.
If anyone knows about obsessions, it’s the White Sox. They should worry more about how often they will get piss-pounded by Detroit, Minnesota, and Cleveland this year. And thank the Cardinals for making them only the second-luckiest team to ever win a World Seires.
The playoff record of the second-luckiest world champion ever.
Ozzie really personifies all that is White Sox baseball. What a bunch of tools.
The current years.
Hey, #5. Obsession? Read the article again and see if you can find any irony in your comment, taking particular care to note that the comment is posted on a Cubs blog. I’ll hang up and listen to your answer.
Obsession? Why the hell are you on a Cubs board fu*ktards?
At least Cubs fans don’t have this problem with meth.
Umm, a little respect here?
I’ll be damned if I’m going to respect a guy whose name is so dangerously close to “Penis.”
Penis Savard? Who are you? Hmmm, weren’t you on the curling olympic team or something? Why are you on a Cubs board asking for respect? You have me lost and lost not positive.
Now there’s nothing wrong with having a name that is spelled and pronounced so similarly to “Penis.” Why do you think my No. 44 jerseys still sell at the Bears pro shop?
What if we were on the same teams as our brothers Shawn and Curtis? What would the backs of our jerseys say?
Man, that would have been sweet.
#18, I don’t get it???
Have some compassion for Ozzie. The poor guy realizes that he coaches the red-haired bastard child of the City of Chicago, and just wants a little attention. I give him just what he asks for, very little attention.
Come on man.
We don’t see what’s so funny.
Sigmund’s got it right.
Just don’t look or listen to him and he becomes much more tolerable.
Listen, queers…just because I was an overrated player and am an overrated manager, not to mention a homophobic blowhard, well, those are no reasons to hate me. You should hate me because I’m famous for kissing one of my players. I know all you fags have that picture set as your wallpaper. I can’t wait till some retard at the Sun Times gives me a chance to go off on your day game watching asses. I’ll keep doing it, too, even after my team wins 72 games and finishes behind Cleveland and Minnesota. I’m famous as hell. Every time I open my mouth, somebody listens, and unlike that old-ass Lou, I NEVER talk about baseball, unless I’m glorifying the sac bunt. Sack. That’s funny. Ha ha, mang, I’m just fu@king witchoo. Not really. Besides, my fans are MEN, mang. When’t the last time some nancy-boy Cub fans attacked a base coach or an umpire? It’s not my fault you’re a bunch of racists. p.s. If I ever have a player named Frank Aggot or Hideki Omo, he’s cut. Don’t disrespect me, fools!