Turns out Barret’s problem is he’s much better on ice than dirt:
Barrett has switched to a new hockey-style catcher’s mask, which is lighter and gives him a better field of vision than his traditional mask. He said he felt more comfortable with it Monday and hopes it’s a small step toward getting his all-around game on track. ”I need to concentrate harder on defense, focus a little more behind the plate, and then the bat will come along,” he said.
If that doesn’t work, he said, he might try removing his cup, “more for motivation than anything else.”
Hot pieces of ass
on June 6, 2007 at 12:50 pm
We’re all over this site today.
In a nutsack
on June 6, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Wow, that video…just…I can’t believe some people will actually believe that crap. Plus, that chick has got to be the absolute worst spokesperson on the planet.
I like that Carlos said he’ll throw 98 mph just to prove he’s not hurt.
What a dumbshit. Yeah, let’s not worry about the opposition. HUGE early-season rubber match, and this clown’s thinking of shoving it up the hineys of a group of guys who will be too busy eating quesadillas out of the buffet to even notice. Besides, isn’t Carlos’ 98 MPH heater straigh-as-an-arrow in the Bob Scanlan/Kyle Fanrsworth mold; or Carlos himself in big games (Game 1 of the NLCS, and every Opening Day)? Someone pointed out out that he’s most effective at 92-94, because the ball gets better movement when he’s throwing at that velocity.
I have a feeling today’s game is make-or-break both for the ’07 Cubs and Carlos’ future.
A 6-foot, 280-pound Polish Sausage
on June 6, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Anybody w/TV or radio access care to describe Hardy’s error for those of us without either?
Collagen
on June 6, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I’m all up in the lips of that video chick.
Jeff Suppan
on June 6, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Hardy made a mistake, so I threw my hat down, kicked it around for a while, and then went out and punched him in the face.
98 mph
on June 6, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Has Z sniffed me yet?
carlos
on June 6, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Have I hit 98 yet?
Zambrano
on June 6, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Vieron mi primera entrada, putos? Excelente!
big z
on June 6, 2007 at 1:27 pm
i haven’t hit 98 but i have good stuff today, mang
Carlos Zambrano
on June 6, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Bunting’s for fags, mang. Instead I hit single.
Felix
on June 6, 2007 at 1:36 pm
I am clearly overmatched. Send me back to Iowa where I can actually contribute.
Ha! Suck on it bitches! 4-0 Cubs.
Dave B
on June 6, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Barrett wore that damn hockey mask is ’04-’05 I believe. I used to get pissed because he would never take it off for plays at the plate and he would always drop the ball. I wear the “traditional mask” a lot and I don’t have any problem seeing or focusing (somwe coaches might disagree). However, I heard there are some safety concerns about the hockey-style helmets because they don’t absorb the impact very well and may lead to increased numbers of concussions.
I hope Barrett’s new mask gives him The Troy Aikman Collection of concussions. May he drool himself to sleep for eternity.
CT
on June 6, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Finally, Dave B has returned to Desipio.
Slaky
on June 6, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Felix Pie is Spanish for GODDAMN IT I LOVE THAT KID!
theHawk
on June 6, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Dave,
Wouldn’t Barrett need a brain to worry about concussions?
Michael Barrett
on June 6, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Show’s what you know, Dolan. I already drool myself to sleep. I don’t need no concussion. Idiot.
Chippy
on June 6, 2007 at 1:45 pm
That’a a whale of an at bat by Ramirez!!
Innocent Bystander
on June 6, 2007 at 1:48 pm
What video? What hot pieces of ass????
Felix Pie
on June 6, 2007 at 1:49 pm
If my first name ended in a “Z” instead of an “X” my name would be “Happy Foot”.
I think it’s close enough; you guys should call me that anyway.
Z
on June 6, 2007 at 1:50 pm
can i make 4 runs hold up today?
Slaky
on June 6, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Fuck, what happened to Pancakes?
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 1:52 pm
I have to get up and get something but don’t want everybody in the office to see my raging fairway club bulging out of my khakis. Pie and Carlos have me chained to the chair right now.
A-Ram
on June 6, 2007 at 1:53 pm
4 alarm fire at teh IHOP. I’m needed elsewhere.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Aww fuck. Ramirez is out? I guess I can get up and go get that crap off the printer now.
Slaky
on June 6, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Someone please tell me what happened to Aramis.
Hank Aaron
on June 6, 2007 at 1:56 pm
A good trivia quiz – What Hall of Famer played with the Dustbag? You guessed it! Me! Hank Aaron! Thank you AFLAC!
Dripping sarcasm
on June 6, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Dusty was a teamate of Hammerin’ Hank Aaron? You’d think he would have mentioned that at some point in his 4 years here. Amazing.
Aramis
on June 6, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Me rompi el culo!
Zambrano
on June 6, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Toma cabrones!!!!
Shooter
on June 6, 2007 at 2:01 pm
E-Ramis pulled up lame stretching to beat out one of J.J Hardy’s numerous boots. Santo said he (E-Ram, not Ronny) has a lingering qquad issue.
Douchebag Chip Caray
on June 6, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Carlos might be in trouble now that he’s running the bases. He’s liable to exhaust himself. Or punch out Corey Hart.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 2:07 pm
My dad is watching the game and said Aramis wasn’t limping noticeably when he came off the field. This is probably just precaution. Expect four more games of DeRose at third though.
98 MPH Heater
on June 6, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Any cameos by me yet?
Gameday
on June 6, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I’m saying Aramis left due to an injured knee. What what what?
MLB GAMEDAY
on June 6, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Cubs Third Baseman Aramis Ramirez left the game with an injured knee.
5-0 after 3 is nice, but I’d like to see them keep stacking runs. It’d be a nice habit to get into. Also show Milwaukee’s who the bitch is in this NL Central relationship.
47 pitches through three
on June 6, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Much better yes. But Z will have to pick up the pace if he wants to complete this thing.
Pizza Pizza
on June 6, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Batting cleanup for the first time since T-ball.
7 or 8 shutout innings
on June 6, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Also a strong statement that Z can pitch as well as he kicks Barrett’s ass.
Jock
on June 6, 2007 at 2:18 pm
When was the last time I got a hit? Seriously? Why am I even playing?
Mario Mendoza
on June 6, 2007 at 2:19 pm
To #56:
You’re playing so you can get down to my line.
No-Hitter
on June 6, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Bye!
Cliffie's achilles
on June 6, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Cause I can’t go day game after nite game, Jock
Carlos Zambrano
on June 6, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Ey, you mess up my no hitter mang! You’re going to get it Hill!
Murton
on June 6, 2007 at 2:22 pm
And supposedly I can’t hit right-handers.
Todd Hollandsworth
on June 6, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Hey I miss you guys. Can I come in and chat for a bit?
Murton
on June 6, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I can’t hit lefthanders so obviously I must suck against righthanders too. That’s the logic.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Todd, grab a mitt and head out to right next inning. Seriously.
Dusty Baker
on June 6, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Dude that makes sense to be #63
Dusty Baker
on June 6, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Dude that makes sense to me #63
Taylor
on June 6, 2007 at 2:32 pm
This is from Yahoo sports:
CHICAGO THIRD BASEMAN ARAMIS RAMIREZ LEFT THE GAME IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SECOND INNING WITH A STRAINED LEFT KNEE.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Nice at bat against Turd Throw last night, Murton. You’re a real hero. At least you took a lot of pitches like you always do. Oh, wait.
Koyie Hill
on June 6, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I can’t hit. At all. Not one bit. No sir.
Carlos
on June 6, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Still have as many hits today as I’ve given up.
Geovany Soto
on June 6, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I can do so much better.
Matt Murton
on June 6, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Yes, #68, blame me for the loss last night over my admittedly lousy PH appearance as opposed to our $40 million starter who got lit up like a pinball machine for the second straight outing.
Maybe with the extra 200+ major-league ABs that I should have by now (thanks, Dusty!), I’d be a lot better at laying off slop pitches with an 0-2 count.
Excuses
on June 6, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Matt Murton uses me liberaly.
Geovany Soto
on June 6, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Actually… No I can’t. So shut up.
Geovany Soto
on June 6, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Bitch, I’m the Puerto Rican Hank White.
Playing Time
on June 6, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Matt Murton does not use me liberally.
Boredom
on June 6, 2007 at 2:50 pm
I reign supreme.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I’m not blaming you for the loss. I’m blaming you for crapping your pants (again). You douche.
Obvious
on June 6, 2007 at 2:52 pm
It’s me that something’s still not right with D Lee’s neck.
Dusty
on June 6, 2007 at 2:52 pm
It’s my fault Murton can’t catch popups or hit righties, dude. I also blew up the World Trade Center. Both times.
Can’t help it–this team’s left me pretty shell-shocked so far.
Orange Guy
on June 6, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Yes, of course, Jock is a much better option than me.
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Boredom is for the birds, #77.
No-hit, no-field Right Fielders
on June 6, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Murton. Jock. Same shit.
Jock
on June 6, 2007 at 2:55 pm
At least I can catch a pop up.
Prince
on June 6, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Dong.
Birds
on June 6, 2007 at 2:56 pm
The fuck are you talking about, 83?
Beer Nutz
on June 6, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Remember when people said I could field my position in RF? Do you remember that? Do ya!?
Slaky
on June 6, 2007 at 2:57 pm
The implosion begins. If this was women’s softball, the Cubs would have definitely a few more wins.
Seven innings homey.
Here we go again
on June 6, 2007 at 2:57 pm
…
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 2:58 pm
I’m saying that boredom is better left for life forms who can’t do anything about it — such as birds. If a person is bored, well, then, do somethin’ why dont’cha! Bored people always complain about being bored, which begets more boredom. Watch a ballgame, or something.
If that’s Z’s last inning (and he’s got 107 pitches), then it’s barely a quality start.
We actually needed him to, you know, slam the door. This is not where we envisioned him to be at this point in his career. We’ll take it, but I was really hoping we wouldn’t have to strap in for more fun with Rotshchild’s Bullpen Follies.
Time for those ass-munchers in the ‘pen to start earning theitr money.
Medium Sized Z
on June 6, 2007 at 3:05 pm
I’m starting to look a bit overrated.
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Pex, I only want the best for all people. Too many fall into the trap of being “bored”. Boredom? Alleviate that shit, I say!
theitr
on June 6, 2007 at 3:06 pm
What the hell do I mean?
Jock Jones
on June 6, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Not only am I NOT clutch, I can’t even hit an insurance dong.
I am shit.
Jock
on June 6, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Insurance dong? I haven’t hit shit, period.
jock
on June 6, 2007 at 3:08 pm
great AB there. I’m awesome. Hope I get to unleash my rifle arm today, too
Common Sense
on June 6, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Would tell you that Murton might be a bit further along in his development, well past the “crap your pants” phase, had he not been buried on Dusty’s bench for two goddamned seasons, instead of playing every day like he should have. You Hoosier.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:09 pm
If you’re bored it means you’re stupid. Plain and simple.
2007 Cubs
on June 6, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Nobody packs it in better than us.
You mean games AREN’T 3 innings long?
Jock Itch
on June 6, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Fear me!
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Well said Apex, very well said. That’s exactly what I try to tell folks.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Common sense tells me that since when he does actually get to play, he sucks, that he doesnt’ deserve more playing time. What the fuck kind of logic do you follow that says a guy has been playing shitty, so play him more! That’s the exact same you just bagged on Dusty for. You hypocrite.
Z
on June 6, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Looks another inning for me.
Z
on June 6, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I’ll show you bendejos something about going past 6 innings. Que puto!
hart, corey
on June 6, 2007 at 3:13 pm
fly ball, shallow center
Common sense
on June 6, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I would tell you that when the options are Jock or Murton, you chose Murton.
Dustin Pedroia
on June 6, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I sucked balls in April. I kept playing in May.
Pedroia to date: .329/.409/.464
YAY!
on June 6, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Marmot!
The Yellow Bellied kind.
The Marmot
on June 6, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Saves the day.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:20 pm
You also field your position adequately, Dustin. Which was a plus when you weren’t hitting. Your buddy Matthew… not so much.
Corey Hart has got to be the stupidest player not on the Cubs. Last night he recklessly took third when Ramirez released the throw. Had Ramirez simply double-pumped, Hart would have been an easy baserunning out. This was seconds after he was nearly picked off of second, and rightfully SHOULD have been called out.
And now my Gamecast tells me he steals second down with his down three runs with two outs and the # 3 hitter up.
Nice baseball IQ, doofus.
How did Jim Hendry miss this guy?
Matt "Rattle Rattle Thunder Clatter Boom Boom Glove" Murton
on June 6, 2007 at 3:22 pm
What, you’re saying I can’t field!??! I’m the emergency catcher! That’s gotta count for something, right? Right?
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:22 pm
There’s a picture of a hot chick on this page that says, “Scarlett Johansson Shower Scene” and it’s pulsing. I want to push… button… I’m at work… must not push… button…
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Emergency catcher distinction usually goes to the player least missed in case of an injury. Last emergency catcher I remember the Cubs having was Jose Macias. Last emergency catcher I remember the Cubs needing was… uh… I’ve only been watching for some 24 years so I don’t really remember.
Yeah I was only bringing up the emergency catcher bit to try and salvage any worth I have on this current roster.
Carlos Marmol used to be a catcher, so he could take my spot, but Len says you don’t want your prized arm back there. What, Len, I’m not prized?
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:30 pm
The injury delay was from Johnny Estrada taking a foul ball off his big toe. Brenly sympathized.
Alan Trammell
on June 6, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Watch my decision not to double switch with Marmol coming in bite me in the ass. Cuz he got taken down for Murton who foul popped out (Marmol couldn’t have done that?) and now I have to go with… (reaches into hat and pulls out baseball card of shitty reliever)
BSB
B_____ Spot Bob
on June 6, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Brown or Big, boys?
Big Old Spotted Bobby
on June 6, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Hey, look! ME!
Bob Howry
on June 6, 2007 at 3:35 pm
That at-bat where Fielder singled was harmless and ended up being erased, but it shows you how clueless our pitch selection as a team is. It also shows that this isn’t solely Michael Barrett’s fault, as has been suggested.
I throw two meaty-as-fuck gopher-esque fastballs down the middle of the plate, and Prince has the good graces to lay off of them. So what do I do next? I take something off the fastball and throw a 88 mph “heater” down the effing heart of the plate. Prince smacks it for a base hit. Could have been a lot worse.
It ends up as a forgettable at-bat, but its a telling example of how we pitch to major league hitters.
Number of Cubs set down in a row
on June 6, 2007 at 3:38 pm
12
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:38 pm
I really like Felix Pie.
Larry Rothschild
on June 6, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Don’t look at me #130. I’m so simply by amazed that my sorry ass is still employed by this club that I just try not to get noticed.
Number of Cubs set down in a row
on June 6, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Thanks, Felix. I’ll go home now and play with my cock and balls.
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I REALLY! like Felix Pie.
Felix Pie
on June 6, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Swipe!
Bob Howry
on June 6, 2007 at 3:40 pm
But I do look at you, Larry. I look to you for guidance, for tutelage, for expertise, and for knowledge.
Guh.
Oh, how humiliating.
Brian Shrouse
on June 6, 2007 at 3:44 pm
We need to hurry up and finish this game. I’ve got a 16″ softball game to make tonight.
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Jacque Jones just tried pulling 3 seperate pitches that were in the RH batters box.
Swung and missed at the first two, weakly popped the 3rd to center.
I hate watching this guy take at-bats. It’s ugly.
Dempster
on June 6, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Not a save situation? Don’t expect much. Better get Eyre warm too. Just in case…
Cub-killin' Billy Hall
on June 6, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Watch me hit a line drive off of Dempster’s gourd.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Seven pitches, two outs. Nice, Ryan.
Michael Barrett and Matt Murton
on June 6, 2007 at 3:51 pm
We are all cuddled up together by ourselves in the dugout, counting the minutes till we’re back in sweet home Georgia.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Four pitches, four balls. Not nice, Ryan.
1-2-3 Ninth
on June 6, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Dempster has never heard of me.
Apex
on June 6, 2007 at 3:53 pm
If 143 means you two homos are getting traded for Saltalmacheyecharitia, then great news, and good riddence.
6-2
on June 6, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Cubs Win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SD
on June 6, 2007 at 3:56 pm
We won a series against the division leader? Who knew!
Saltalamacchia
on June 6, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I was rated the Braves #1 prospect. You’re going to need more than those 2 doofuses to get me.
Michael Barrett and Matt Murton
on June 6, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Aren’t we going home to play the Braves in Atlanta? Aren’t we?
Mike D.
on June 6, 2007 at 3:58 pm
6-2, Cubs take the series and pick up a game.
Anything less than a split in Atlanta will render this series victory moot. Ideally, they take 3 of 4.
Niiiice!
am i starting today?
I say no, #2.
Turns out Barret’s problem is he’s much better on ice than dirt:
Barrett has switched to a new hockey-style catcher’s mask, which is lighter and gives him a better field of vision than his traditional mask. He said he felt more comfortable with it Monday and hopes it’s a small step toward getting his all-around game on track. ”I need to concentrate harder on defense, focus a little more behind the plate, and then the bat will come along,” he said.
If that doesn’t work, he said, he might try removing his cup, “more for motivation than anything else.”
We’re all over this site today.
Wow, that video…just…I can’t believe some people will actually believe that crap. Plus, that chick has got to be the absolute worst spokesperson on the planet.
I like that Carlos said he’ll throw 98 mph just to prove he’s not hurt.
What a dumbshit. Yeah, let’s not worry about the opposition. HUGE early-season rubber match, and this clown’s thinking of shoving it up the hineys of a group of guys who will be too busy eating quesadillas out of the buffet to even notice. Besides, isn’t Carlos’ 98 MPH heater straigh-as-an-arrow in the Bob Scanlan/Kyle Fanrsworth mold; or Carlos himself in big games (Game 1 of the NLCS, and every Opening Day)? Someone pointed out out that he’s most effective at 92-94, because the ball gets better movement when he’s throwing at that velocity.
I have a feeling today’s game is make-or-break both for the ’07 Cubs and Carlos’ future.
Brave!
Fuck you, Keilbasa…
BRAVE!!
Oops. My cover’s blown.
Already counting on the Cubs ruining the entire rest of my day. Go Cubs.
How many extra base htis do I have, female doges?
How many extra base hits do I have, female doges?
Where’s the ball?
Why the fuck am I not playing today? I am a million times better than that POS.
Anybody w/TV or radio access care to describe Hardy’s error for those of us without either?
I’m all up in the lips of that video chick.
Hardy made a mistake, so I threw my hat down, kicked it around for a while, and then went out and punched him in the face.
Has Z sniffed me yet?
Have I hit 98 yet?
Vieron mi primera entrada, putos? Excelente!
i haven’t hit 98 but i have good stuff today, mang
Bunting’s for fags, mang. Instead I hit single.
I am clearly overmatched. Send me back to Iowa where I can actually contribute.
Ha! Suck on it bitches! 4-0 Cubs.
Barrett wore that damn hockey mask is ’04-’05 I believe. I used to get pissed because he would never take it off for plays at the plate and he would always drop the ball. I wear the “traditional mask” a lot and I don’t have any problem seeing or focusing (somwe coaches might disagree). However, I heard there are some safety concerns about the hockey-style helmets because they don’t absorb the impact very well and may lead to increased numbers of concussions.
I’ve got a big Felix Pie chubby.
Is that gay? Cuz I don’t care.
I hope Barrett’s new mask gives him The Troy Aikman Collection of concussions. May he drool himself to sleep for eternity.
Finally, Dave B has returned to Desipio.
Felix Pie is Spanish for GODDAMN IT I LOVE THAT KID!
Dave,
Wouldn’t Barrett need a brain to worry about concussions?
Show’s what you know, Dolan. I already drool myself to sleep. I don’t need no concussion. Idiot.
That’a a whale of an at bat by Ramirez!!
What video? What hot pieces of ass????
If my first name ended in a “Z” instead of an “X” my name would be “Happy Foot”.
I think it’s close enough; you guys should call me that anyway.
can i make 4 runs hold up today?
Fuck, what happened to Pancakes?
I have to get up and get something but don’t want everybody in the office to see my raging fairway club bulging out of my khakis. Pie and Carlos have me chained to the chair right now.
4 alarm fire at teh IHOP. I’m needed elsewhere.
Aww fuck. Ramirez is out? I guess I can get up and go get that crap off the printer now.
Someone please tell me what happened to Aramis.
A good trivia quiz – What Hall of Famer played with the Dustbag? You guessed it! Me! Hank Aaron! Thank you AFLAC!
Dusty was a teamate of Hammerin’ Hank Aaron? You’d think he would have mentioned that at some point in his 4 years here. Amazing.
Me rompi el culo!
Toma cabrones!!!!
E-Ramis pulled up lame stretching to beat out one of J.J Hardy’s numerous boots. Santo said he (E-Ram, not Ronny) has a lingering qquad issue.
Carlos might be in trouble now that he’s running the bases. He’s liable to exhaust himself. Or punch out Corey Hart.
My dad is watching the game and said Aramis wasn’t limping noticeably when he came off the field. This is probably just precaution. Expect four more games of DeRose at third though.
Any cameos by me yet?
I’m saying Aramis left due to an injured knee. What what what?
Cubs Third Baseman Aramis Ramirez left the game with an injured knee.
Season over, perras?
I would be far more impressive than 98 MPH heat.
5-0 after 3 is nice, but I’d like to see them keep stacking runs. It’d be a nice habit to get into. Also show Milwaukee’s who the bitch is in this NL Central relationship.
Much better yes. But Z will have to pick up the pace if he wants to complete this thing.
Batting cleanup for the first time since T-ball.
Also a strong statement that Z can pitch as well as he kicks Barrett’s ass.
When was the last time I got a hit? Seriously? Why am I even playing?
To #56:
You’re playing so you can get down to my line.
Bye!
Cause I can’t go day game after nite game, Jock
Ey, you mess up my no hitter mang! You’re going to get it Hill!
And supposedly I can’t hit right-handers.
Hey I miss you guys. Can I come in and chat for a bit?
I can’t hit lefthanders so obviously I must suck against righthanders too. That’s the logic.
Todd, grab a mitt and head out to right next inning. Seriously.
Dude that makes sense to be #63
Dude that makes sense to me #63
This is from Yahoo sports:
CHICAGO THIRD BASEMAN ARAMIS RAMIREZ LEFT THE GAME IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SECOND INNING WITH A STRAINED LEFT KNEE.
Nice at bat against Turd Throw last night, Murton. You’re a real hero. At least you took a lot of pitches like you always do. Oh, wait.
I can’t hit. At all. Not one bit. No sir.
Still have as many hits today as I’ve given up.
I can do so much better.
Yes, #68, blame me for the loss last night over my admittedly lousy PH appearance as opposed to our $40 million starter who got lit up like a pinball machine for the second straight outing.
Maybe with the extra 200+ major-league ABs that I should have by now (thanks, Dusty!), I’d be a lot better at laying off slop pitches with an 0-2 count.
Matt Murton uses me liberaly.
Actually… No I can’t. So shut up.
Bitch, I’m the Puerto Rican Hank White.
Matt Murton does not use me liberally.
I reign supreme.
I’m not blaming you for the loss. I’m blaming you for crapping your pants (again). You douche.
It’s me that something’s still not right with D Lee’s neck.
It’s my fault Murton can’t catch popups or hit righties, dude. I also blew up the World Trade Center. Both times.
So much for stacking runs.
Still. Nervous. About. Game.
Can’t help it–this team’s left me pretty shell-shocked so far.
Yes, of course, Jock is a much better option than me.
Boredom is for the birds, #77.
Murton. Jock. Same shit.
At least I can catch a pop up.
Dong.
The fuck are you talking about, 83?
Remember when people said I could field my position in RF? Do you remember that? Do ya!?
The implosion begins. If this was women’s softball, the Cubs would have definitely a few more wins.
Seven innings homey.
…
I’m saying that boredom is better left for life forms who can’t do anything about it — such as birds. If a person is bored, well, then, do somethin’ why dont’cha! Bored people always complain about being bored, which begets more boredom. Watch a ballgame, or something.
How could I forget, 88?
SD, you like to lecture mofos a lot don’t you?
A black hole since 2005.
That’s as far as Z is gonna get today.
If that’s Z’s last inning (and he’s got 107 pitches), then it’s barely a quality start.
We actually needed him to, you know, slam the door. This is not where we envisioned him to be at this point in his career. We’ll take it, but I was really hoping we wouldn’t have to strap in for more fun with Rotshchild’s Bullpen Follies.
Time for those ass-munchers in the ‘pen to start earning theitr money.
I’m starting to look a bit overrated.
Pex, I only want the best for all people. Too many fall into the trap of being “bored”. Boredom? Alleviate that shit, I say!
What the hell do I mean?
Not only am I NOT clutch, I can’t even hit an insurance dong.
I am shit.
Insurance dong? I haven’t hit shit, period.
great AB there. I’m awesome. Hope I get to unleash my rifle arm today, too
Would tell you that Murton might be a bit further along in his development, well past the “crap your pants” phase, had he not been buried on Dusty’s bench for two goddamned seasons, instead of playing every day like he should have. You Hoosier.
If you’re bored it means you’re stupid. Plain and simple.
Nobody packs it in better than us.
You mean games AREN’T 3 innings long?
Fear me!
Well said Apex, very well said. That’s exactly what I try to tell folks.
Common sense tells me that since when he does actually get to play, he sucks, that he doesnt’ deserve more playing time. What the fuck kind of logic do you follow that says a guy has been playing shitty, so play him more! That’s the exact same you just bagged on Dusty for. You hypocrite.
Looks another inning for me.
I’ll show you bendejos something about going past 6 innings. Que puto!
fly ball, shallow center
I would tell you that when the options are Jock or Murton, you chose Murton.
I sucked balls in April. I kept playing in May.
Pedroia to date: .329/.409/.464
Marmot!
The Yellow Bellied kind.
Saves the day.
You also field your position adequately, Dustin. Which was a plus when you weren’t hitting. Your buddy Matthew… not so much.
Corey Hart has got to be the stupidest player not on the Cubs. Last night he recklessly took third when Ramirez released the throw. Had Ramirez simply double-pumped, Hart would have been an easy baserunning out. This was seconds after he was nearly picked off of second, and rightfully SHOULD have been called out.
And now my Gamecast tells me he steals second down with his down three runs with two outs and the # 3 hitter up.
Nice baseball IQ, doofus.
How did Jim Hendry miss this guy?
What, you’re saying I can’t field!??! I’m the emergency catcher! That’s gotta count for something, right? Right?
There’s a picture of a hot chick on this page that says, “Scarlett Johansson Shower Scene” and it’s pulsing. I want to push… button… I’m at work… must not push… button…
Emergency catcher distinction usually goes to the player least missed in case of an injury. Last emergency catcher I remember the Cubs having was Jose Macias. Last emergency catcher I remember the Cubs needing was… uh… I’ve only been watching for some 24 years so I don’t really remember.
Murton’s up with a 1-2 count. Anyone? Anyone?
Have a seat, Matt.
Fuck you Apex!
Oh, wait…
Intrepid Reader: Apex
FUCK YOU, MURTON!
Yeah I was only bringing up the emergency catcher bit to try and salvage any worth I have on this current roster.
Carlos Marmol used to be a catcher, so he could take my spot, but Len says you don’t want your prized arm back there. What, Len, I’m not prized?
The injury delay was from Johnny Estrada taking a foul ball off his big toe. Brenly sympathized.
Watch my decision not to double switch with Marmol coming in bite me in the ass. Cuz he got taken down for Murton who foul popped out (Marmol couldn’t have done that?) and now I have to go with… (reaches into hat and pulls out baseball card of shitty reliever)
BSB
Brown or Big, boys?
Hey, look! ME!
That at-bat where Fielder singled was harmless and ended up being erased, but it shows you how clueless our pitch selection as a team is. It also shows that this isn’t solely Michael Barrett’s fault, as has been suggested.
I throw two meaty-as-fuck gopher-esque fastballs down the middle of the plate, and Prince has the good graces to lay off of them. So what do I do next? I take something off the fastball and throw a 88 mph “heater” down the effing heart of the plate. Prince smacks it for a base hit. Could have been a lot worse.
It ends up as a forgettable at-bat, but its a telling example of how we pitch to major league hitters.
12
I really like Felix Pie.
Don’t look at me #130. I’m so simply by amazed that my sorry ass is still employed by this club that I just try not to get noticed.
Thanks, Felix. I’ll go home now and play with my cock and balls.
I REALLY! like Felix Pie.
Swipe!
But I do look at you, Larry. I look to you for guidance, for tutelage, for expertise, and for knowledge.
Guh.
Oh, how humiliating.
We need to hurry up and finish this game. I’ve got a 16″ softball game to make tonight.
Jacque Jones just tried pulling 3 seperate pitches that were in the RH batters box.
Swung and missed at the first two, weakly popped the 3rd to center.
I hate watching this guy take at-bats. It’s ugly.
Not a save situation? Don’t expect much. Better get Eyre warm too. Just in case…
Watch me hit a line drive off of Dempster’s gourd.
Seven pitches, two outs. Nice, Ryan.
We are all cuddled up together by ourselves in the dugout, counting the minutes till we’re back in sweet home Georgia.
Four pitches, four balls. Not nice, Ryan.
Dempster has never heard of me.
If 143 means you two homos are getting traded for Saltalmacheyecharitia, then great news, and good riddence.
Cubs Win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We won a series against the division leader? Who knew!
I was rated the Braves #1 prospect. You’re going to need more than those 2 doofuses to get me.
Aren’t we going home to play the Braves in Atlanta? Aren’t we?
6-2, Cubs take the series and pick up a game.
Anything less than a split in Atlanta will render this series victory moot. Ideally, they take 3 of 4.
Good fun as always, fellas.