Sure, it’s May. Sure it’s Milwaukee. But that’s kind of the point. The Cubs never handle the Brewers. No matter how bad the beer boys are, the Cubs find ways to blow big leads or fall behind and never catch up. I’ve got to say, I’m impressed.
Carlos Zambrano was dealing last night. Through seven innings the only hit he’d allowed was a goofy, popped up slug bunt by the great Scott Posednik (or whatever his name is). Carlos just kept throwing sinker after sinker after sinker. One day after Shawn Estes curveballed the Brewers to death. Hey, if it works, throw it.
The Cubs are now 23-16 and the rotation is 19-12. Every starter but Matt Clement has four wins. I’m positively giddy about this.
The Cardinals dumped another one to the Reds. They are 0-6 against Cincinnati this year and are now four games behind the Cubs. I’m going to pause for a moment while I laugh hysterically at the misfortune of the horrible, awful Cardinals.
OK. I’m better now. The Cardinals feel trapped because they are without erstwhile closer Jason Isringhausen and have nobody to close.
Wait, don’t they have Jeff Fassero?
Muahahahahahahaha!
Did you catch The West Wing last night? What a mess. If that was Aaron Sorkin’s swan song, so be it. Let’s see. The president’s daughter has been kidnapped by some Bahi operatives (whatever), Toby’s ex-wife had twins that he was afraid he couldn’t love (even though they’re his) and she named one Huck, the president has MS and has decided to invoke the 25th Ammendment, temporarily passing control of the government to the vice president…only there’s no vice president because Pledge Chairman Eric Stratton (“damn glad to meet you”) resigned last week for having an affair, so instead control of the White House goes to the next man in line–the House Speaker and Republican John Goodman. I’m not making this up! King Ralph is the new President of the United States. I don’t know what kind of psychadelic ‘shrooms Sorkin’s been taking, but they’re the bad kind.
Here’s the thing about Goodman, he’s gotten HUGE. I mean, he was always big, but he’s enormous. You could actually hear him breathing even when it wasn’t his turn to deliver a line. I don’t know everything about TV, but you have to be sucking all of the air out of the room for your breaths to be heard like that.
I know that this show jumped the shark last year with that show when Toby and Josh got lost in Iowa, or Ohio or wherever, but come on, this is a new low. If this show were a dog, you’d take it out back and put it out of its misery.
Yeesh.
Carlos Zambrano is a pup, but he’s a big pup, and a good one. We’re not taking him out back any time soon.
Troy O’Leary knows he’s not taking Sammy’s place. Really?
Mike Downey with a good one on Phil Jackson and Dave DeBusschere.
Groucho with a good one on former Knick and White Sox, DeBusschere.
The Irish are going to sit back and wait to see how the Miami-Big East-ACC thing shakes out. One thing is for sure, when it’s all said and done, the Irish still swing the biggest stick on the block.
Intrepid reader Jeffrey Goldstein sent this link to me, it’s a Catholic Hoops Web site run by another intrepid reader of ours, Sean Flynn. Methinks Sean has too much time on his hands.
Greg Couch on the most famous big toe since Sgt. Hulka.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to spin the big wheel of “who should get fired or quit today” and it lands on Kenny Williams.
Rick Telander on pitch counts. This is as lame as you’d expect.
Dusty Baker says there’s a lot of stuff between your toe and your head. That’s pretty deep.
The Wizard of Roz gets to the bottom of the Cubs ticket broker scam. He says it’s not a big deal since they only sold 4,000 tickets that way. I don’t care if they sold four tickets like that, it’s wrong.
ESPN tries to figure out what the Miami to the ACC fallout could be. Any scenario that has Notre Dame playing football in a conference is just wrong. Won’t happen in our lifetime.
Ivan Maisel on the plans the Big East has. Their number one plan should be to curl up in the fetal position and hope the kicking stops.
The Big East wants to start stealing other people’s teams. I like the idea of the non-football playing (i.e. the Catholic schools) disbanding and starting a new conference with Notre Dame, Xavier, Dayton, DePaul and Marquette.
Wow. Eric Neel on selling Brewers tickets. This is so bad. Is this guy ever funny?
Spanish-yes.com’s Michael Silver with a good one on Kevin Johnson.
CBS’ new shows are craptacular at best.
If you want to hang with Gee Dub, you’ve got to lose the tie.
Yikes, a Kentucky couple is charged with more than 500 counts of rape. The husband raped a relative (surprise) while the wife took photos. I’m just surprised they’re bright enough to run a camera.
A corpse is a corpse of course of course.
See, Bubba was just trying to be more like JFK all the time. Apparently JFK had an affair with a teenage intern in the White House. Maybe Jimmy Kimmel can ask Monica Lewinsky about it tonight. She’s the co-host on his show this week.
America’s finest news source with a freed POW who is already tired of his Missouri family.
About the only thing that I agreed with in your critique of West Wing is the size of John Goodman. There is no disputing that this guy is huge. The only thing small about him is probably the width of his left descending artery. I concede that I am not sure about the Toby as a parent sub-plot. However, for intelligent drama about a "what if?" situation, this is what television can offer those of us who are not enthralled by the real life excitement of "Survivor".
Yeah, great "What If" stuff. I think next week’s plot is an invasion of North Dakota by Canada and Pres. Bartlett’s retaliatory nuclear strike on Winniepeg. Then Bartlett will present to Congress an exciting new bill that will outlaw the internal combustion engine immediately. There will be some token opposition from the Repubs., but their leader, Goodman, will have a massive heart attack and ask the GOP to support the president on his deathbed.
Meanwhile, the US will capture Montreal, and Bartlett will feverishly work to restore order, ordering soldiers to shoot to kill anyone trying to loot the city of its treasures. As a result, George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman are murdered in front of Olympic Stadium as they try carrying Vladimir Guerrero and Jose Vidro out.
At the same time, President Bartlett hosts a state dinner for the president of Botswana. Toby has a riveting discussion with the press secretary of a actuary accounting society, and James Brolin makes a campaign stop in Hattiesburg, Miss., where he misspells "President," trips over his own feet, and makes disparaging remarks about poor and minorities.
Mmm. Maybe I’ll write my own episodes just for the Left-wing West-winger. Ah, where did a put my mushrooms and crack???
Honestly compels me to say that I expressed hope back in the 10th that the game wouldn’t go 18 innings. Phew. It was a close one. It only went 17.
I can’t wait to go to St. Louis. My grandfather’s from there, you know, and I grew up rooting for the St. Louis Blues even though I couldn’t tell a hockey puck from a pickup truck and I’d get my ass kicked in the places old Harry hung around.
That was the most intelligent thing Sorkin’s written in months.
Chip, you ignorant slut, how about we leave you in St. Louie?
You missed the point completely. This episode was a right wing diatribe designed to show us the danger that those whiney, left wing, radical, hippy tree huggers present to themselves and others by opposing HOMELAND SECURITY in favor of privacy. The President’s daughter gets fed a controlled substance and is kidnapped under the noses of the Secret Service because they were ordered to give her some space on her graduation night. This just goes to show you that the program is part of the Republican agenda because nothing like that could ever happen to the real life president’s daughters. You would never see them getting in trouble by doing something illegal because they were raised right. Literally.
Ashton, is that you posting as West Winger? You better leave Bar and Jenna alone. Don’t mess with Texas, or my girls.
My girls are smart enough not to do anything I never did when I was their age.
Now, if you excuse me, I have other things to do. Tomorrow, I make a stop in St. Louis to declare the home bullpen at Busch Stadium a disaster area. Ashcroft is working on tying Tony LaRussa to Al Qaeda.
Also, I’m wondering: Phil Jackson had his angioplasty, Dave DeBuschere died. Are there any other early 70s Knicks that will have major health issues? Just in case Bradley decides to run again, you know.
I had a health problem — my hair was turning grey. But thanks to the fine folks at "Just For Men", well let’s just say that the ladies are satisfied with Clyde by their side (even if DeBuschere died).
I’m very proud that some people think that I’m a danger for the intellectual health of students. When people start thinking of health in intellectual activities, I think there is something wrong. In their opinion I am a dangerous man, since I am a crypto-Marxist, an irrationalist, a nihilist. by texas hold’em