The All-Star Break is here and our Cubs have crept to within 4.5 games of the lead in the National League Central Divison and four games of the Wild Card lead in the NL. They have won 12 of their last 16 games and gone 21-11 since June 3. On June 3 they were in fourth place, 7.5 out. So progress has been made.

Over at the land of Pollyellon they spent yesterday discussing things they normally talk about. Stuff like how cool it is that nine people can combine to post 273 times in a day, or how neat it is that middle aged women have a chance to hang out and talk Cubs. Huh? I don’t know. Al had posted standings at the All-Star Break from famous seasons in Cubs’ history.

Not to bore you with it, but let’s just say that the 2007 Cubs are better off than the 1998 Cubs were and not as well off as the 2003, 1989 or 1984 Cubs.

He left out the fabulous summers of 2001 and 1977. The ’77 Cubs went 51-30 in the first half, 31-50 in the second. Yikes.

You can sit and look at numbers all day and find some that support your hopes and some that dash them. The reality is that none of us has any idea what the Cubs will do in the second half. It’s not that they lack talent. Any team with Alfonso Soriano, Derrek Lee, E-ramis and Carlos Zambrano should be pretty good. But they’ve been winning of late despite no offensive production from centerfield or catcher, and as much as want to believe in the dwarves at second and short, we just don’t know.

But, there are some things that we do know.

Michael Barrett’s life is in danger. Getting traded from the then third place Cubs to the first place Padres was a nice treat for Barrett, who had turned into a panicked mess behind home plate. But bad news arrived for him in San Diego last week when the Padres acquired Milton Bradley. Milton is insane. Milton can be violent. Michael is irritating. You connect the dots.

Nobody wants an overpriced Jock. The new spin (this has Dave Kaplan written all over it) on the ohh-so-close Jock Jones trade to Florida a couple of weeks ago is that nobody put the kibosh on the deal financially. Not Uncle Bud the Used Car Salesman/Commissioner and not the faceless, nameless, committee of Tribune dumbasses charged with keeping Jim Hendry from spending money beyond this season. No, what happened was that Hendry was ready to make the deal, but pulled out at the last second, because he didn’t think the Cubs were getting enough talent in the trade, and since Ryan Dempster’s oblique ended up worse than they thought he needed to go on the DL, eliminating the urgent need to clear a roster spot for Billy Petrick. Sure. Whatever. Lou wanted Jock gone, Hendry had a taker and it didn’t happen. I have a very hard time believing it was because at the last moment Jimbo decided Jock was such a valued asset that he couldn’t be parted with for such a pittance. We’re stuck with him. Guh.

Guys never get hurt when they need to. This pertains to Jock, Cesar Izturis and Scott Eyre. Baseball players get hurt all of the time. We know, we’re Cubs’ fans, we’ve seen it all. Why is it that the bums needlessly holding roster spots never get hurt? Cesar is a walking injury, and suddenly he’s Cal Ripken Jr. when it comes to being available every day? Scott Eyre weighs 400 pounds. How has he not pulled whatever muscle is left in one of his legs? Jock couldn’t fall down the dugout steps and slightly paralyze himself? E-ramis has a sore knee. Derrek had a sore neck. Alfonso Soriano pulled a hammy, but the Holy Trinity of Shitassed Ballplayers are impervious to pain? Great.

Rich Hill is a pussy. OK, I can’t know this to be sure. But the past couple of shaky outings he’s gone 100 percent Matt Clement-Scott Sanderson on us, hasn’t he? Anybody can keep slinging it when he’s going well, but like his double x chromosome brethren, when the going gets tough, Rich starts casting hopeful glances towards the bullpen.

Koyie and Robbie aren’t using actual wooden bats. I think the problem the Cubs’ catching “tandem” is having is that by celebrating the 54th anniversary of the invention of the Whiffle ball, by using Whiffle bats. I’m sure this is some sort of John McDonough corporate sponsorship tie-in, but it needs to stop. Frankly, there’s just no other way to explain how two grown men, professional baseball players can combine to go 2-28 (.071) in July.

We all miss the wisdom of Dusty Baker. I think we’d forgotten what a sage Dusty was, but many of us were startlingly reminded last night when the dream team of Chris Berman, Joe Morgan and Dusty strangled what little life the Home Run Derby had left in it. Dusty and Joe apparently no clue when their microphones were on (at one point, you hear them discussing plans to send Darren Baker home with his mom so Dusty and Joe could hit a bathhouse), and neither had any clue which balls were actually going to make it to the stands. Dusty yelled, “He got it!” when Albert Pujols needed one more homer to tie Vlad Guerrero in the second round. The ball fell harmlessly in front of the warning track. Dusty also voiced concern for the safety of the “ball shaggers” (which is probably the term that gave Joe and him the idea to ditch the wife and the kid) on the field, saying that he was worried that Darren might get hurt if he did that.

Cue the JT Snow/Darren Baker photo:

Please, somebody get this man a managerial job. Hopefully, one in the Cubs’ division.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. — Elbert Hubbard

Put that on your resume, Dustbag. It’ll help.

Are we really supposed to get fired up about the potential returns of Matt Murton or Ronny Cedeno?  Lou is telling anyone who will listen that he needs another righthanded bat because the Cubs are so lousy (8-14 ) against lefthanded starting pitchers.  The immediate answers always seem to be to call up Ronny Cedeno (.383 ba/ .457 obp/ .611 slg at Iowa) or Matt Murton (.299 ba/ .380 obp/ .506 slg at Iowa).  Yay?  So the Cubs either bring up the dumbest player in the organization and take time away from either Ryan Theriot or Mike Fontenot or they bring up a guy whose rightfield defense makes Jock look like mid-80s Andre Dawson?  Great.  Where do we sign up?

Haven’t we learned from Felix Pie about judging a players’ readiness to hit in the big leagues from his numbers at Iowa?

Felix at Iowa (.389/.443/.563)
Felix in Chicago (.216/.272/.345)

Apparently, Iowa’s elevation has increased by several thousand feet and it’s now a launching pad.

Besides, Ronny’s defense at Iowa hasn’t been spectacular.  He’s made eight errors in his 52 games down there.  Murton has yet to make one.  His new strategy is to let the ball drop before he even attempts to touch it.

I’m not saying Felix should be sent back to Iowa again.  I’d still rather have his .216 in center than Jock’s .233.  I’m just saying that we shouldn’t expect Ronny or Matt and not suck.

The Cubs aren’t going to add anyone of note to this roster.  Jimbo’s not going to be able to add any player owed any money next year or beyond.  No matter what their revised story will be later, the suits won’t let him right now.  So while Milwaukee is out trying to add bullpen help, and the Cardinals are feeling the Brewers vulnerability (even though St. Louis is barely on the fringes of contention if at all) the Cubs are sitting around talking about how much help they can get out of such superstars as Clay Rapada, Rocky Cherry, Murton and Cedeno.

What the hell is wrong with Geovany Soto?  Reports that he was only DH’ing and playing first base proved to be wrong, he is still catching, but not every day at Iowa.  Apparently he’s got a sore shoulder and that’s why, despite hitting .340 at Iowa, the Cubs’ supposed catcher of the future is still not in Chicago.  Then again, given the apparent Des Moines inflation in offensive numbers this summer, maybe that .340 means he’s just another Rob Bowen?

So where does this leave us?  The Cubs have become a fun team to watch.  They have apparently forgotten how to hit home runs, but I’m sure Derrek and Alfonso could rummage through Barry Bonds’ locker out there in San Francisco this afternoon and clear (and cream) that right up.  The Brewers aren’t good enough to run away with the division, though they are good enough to win it.  The truth is, we thought we knew this team, then it won 11 of 12 games.  Now we think we know them and they could very well do the opposite.

Oh, hell.  I guess we’re stuck having to watch to see what happens.