Pitching matchups
Giants: Matt Cain 3-10, 3.53 ERA
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano 11-7, 3.83 ERA
Since the thread is up early today, check out the hilarity supplied by Len Kasper in the fifth (where does the time fly) interview we’ve done with him here at Desipio.
Was Mr. Kasper being sarcastic at our expense?
Lineups:
Roberts CF
Vizquel SS
Winn RF
Klesko 1B
Durham 2B
Lewis LF
Feliz 3B
Rodriguez C
Cain P
Soriano LF
Theriot SS
Ward 1B
Floyd RF
DeRosa 3B
Fontenot 2B
Jones CF
Hill C
Zambrano P
Apparently Lee has dropped his appeal, since he fouled a ball off his shin last night and may have to sit 2-3 days anyway. But no Ramirez?
…The hottie Andy?
Today’s lineup is me.
Which is why they’ll probably score 10.
Really, as long as Z is on and goes 8 we’ll just need 1 or 2.
#3, I didn’t know either, but after reading, I deduced it was Kellie Pickler. Indeed, it seems that I might be correct.
I think the hottie you refer to is Kellie Pickler? The one accompanying the interview with Len ?
Popcorn, anyone?
Isn’t it interesting that Kendall is not starting today.
Lou said Kendall would sit today anyway. Apparently, the plan is to play him 4-5 times a week setting up the Great K. Dolan Hill for regular play time.
#9, in a day game after a night game? No.
We’ve got our ace on the mound against a pitcher whose run support is so bad that a 3.53 ERA has earned him a 3-10 record. I don’t like the way this is shaping up….
What’s with the blank spot in the #7 hole?
Would this be a good day for my no-hitter?
You know he’s still here, Mike. You can pretend all you want, but Jock Jones will haunt you until the end of days.
Probably so #11, it’s just that I thought he is known for playing most games – at least he was in Oaktown. I guess I’m just trying to start conspiracy theories after his less than stellar start last night. I really do like the guy, but it is amusing that in one night, he went from getting a standing ovation in his first at bat, to getting booed several times. Gotta love it.
What happened to me?
To CT (#15):
LALALALALALALALA. I can’t hear you. LALALALALA
Kendall deserved to be booed for being too goddamn lazy to investigate a pop up that he immediately assumed was out of play. If that’s the kind of shit we’re gonna be exposed to, you might as well bring back Soto.
I think Kendall’s problem is that he’s not used to playing in a park with all of the spacious foul territory that Wrigley has. I mean, come on, the Oakland Coliseum doesn’t have any…oh, wait. Never mind.
Fine, this time I’ll use my glove.
I can’t be a good sign.
Why didn’t you ask Len if my bpmbs were real?
That would be “bombs”. Damn, I can’t spell.
Sounds like y’all have a bunch of first timers at the yard today. They screamed when The Riot popped out to left. And nice forfeit line-up today.
Have I homered yet this motherfucking season?
Yeah. I have my doubts about Kendall in his current state, but I would not call the guy lazy. He made a lot of heads up plays in Oaktown. I want to think that he’s just unfamiliar with Wrigley, but then again, it’s certainly not the first time he’s been there as he was in the NL before. I’ll let him off this time – he had a long travel day just to get there last night. ’nuff said…from me anyway. Back to the game.
Where have you been #24? We infest the park between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Every damn popup this week has gotten us screaming like the Beatles had arrived at LaGuardia in ’64.
For the Cubs to have a chance at winning today, and keeping alive a chance at winning the series, Carlos will have to throw me.
#27, I think you mean Grand Funk Railroad, not those punks from Liverpool.
Why is A Ram out of the lineup today? I thought that he hit Cain pretty well in the past.
Was he announced in the starting lineup? Not that I really give a shit, but this beats working.
Pancakes’ knee is probably sore from running out that double in Monday night’s game.
I guess going from homerun trot to oh crap it didn’t go out now I gotta try and get 2nd could do that.
I hurt my knee jogging to 2nd in the 9th last night. Actually it got stiff when I couldn’t go anywhere on the next 3 AB’s.
Cut me some slack. I may blow long term, but yesterday I spent all day on a plane. Wouldn’t you be a little tired?
Did someone say me?
I’m driving Mike Fontenot’s regression to the norm.
Mike Fontenot’s numbers are falling faster than me.
Is what I am. Creepy!
So, now we need a new middle infield. I’m shocked, I tell ya.
Is this here board…
Isn’t it odd that I know better than Ronnie when to stop talking and let Pat do play-by-play?
Oh, and wheeeeeeeee!
Will I make a difference against Cy Cain?
I wonder if Al is looking forward to seeing my feat emulated?
Someone do something so we can throw shit
You can cancel the post game show.
Have I driven in a run this month?
Sandy, I’d like to emulate your feet.
We’ll have a new middle infield soon. Or SS at least. Ronny Cedeno V2.0 will be here soon.
Someone shoot me in the face. Now.
Somebody tell you that, CT or are you just trying to piss us off?
who the hell do i think i am?
also… should we trade me now?
I’m going to carry the offense with Derrek out! With hard hit groundouts to first and hope they get botched like that one. 2-0!
And the greatest trade never made starts to pay dividends…
Jock actually did something positive for once.
Jockularity, jockularity, jockularity.
Come on Koyie Dolan Hill! Come on! Do it for the family!
Thank you.
Who is that guy who just drove in two runs with two outs? Why didn’t he have a face or a body? Just a bat suspended in the air as if by magic. The swing was pretty pure for a non-entity. I say trade him. He can’t possibly do that again.
How d’ya like me now?
Hug it out bitches!!!!
I see Koyie used the family wheels to leg out a triple.
Koyie Hill now!
Andy can we get another Dose today? Your namesake just drove in two runs.
Who knew?
Throw shit on the field. Yay.
#47 – You’re batting .326 with a .373 OBP for the month of July. With batting stats like that, it’s not your fault you’ve only got 7 RBIs for the month. Qwit-cher-bitchin.
That should be enough. Go ahead and raise that W flag.
That should be enough. Go ahead and raise that W flag…
You are now entering me.
Why does that sound so dirty?
How fitting was it that the first time I’m away from desk during the game someone impersonating Jock Jones delivers a CLUTCH two-out, 2-RBI single?
Since I didn’t see it as it happen, it didn’t happen, but I’ll take the runs.
Anytime these f*cksticks want to start retiring G? f*cking Rodf*ckingriguez would be two days late for my taste. Plunking him in his fat loser ass would be tits-out, though.
Amazing. 4-3. It takes Zambrano to finally record an out on that sumbitch.
Yeah, it’s 4-0 and I’m not letting it go.
#70, let me put my poems in you.
It didn’t really happen. He hit his usual gounder to the right side, only it was a little harder hit than usual — and the first baseman sucks worse as a fielder than Jacque as a hitter.
You finally got me Cubs. You hadn’t even thrown me a strike in two straight ABs. My power will soon be known throughout the land of queens and tarts. That’s Frisco for all those left guessin’.
Well, 75. It’s only fair that his usual grounder to the right finally finds the outfield grass (smokes a doob, steals a Chunky bar from White Hen) because of all those screamers he’s hit that keep getting caught. Or something. Not really.
Pound sand, Guillermo.
Matt Cain’s gotta feel stupid for allowing a deadlocked game to burst open by a player who doesn’t even exist.
Soriano with a leadoff walk. Think anyone noticed?
Hank White scheduled to start rehab this Saturday according to Faux Andy Masur. The Dolan family name’s days in MLB appear to be numbered.
Soriano in scoring position with no outs. Think anyone noticed?
Y’all cloggin’ the bases actually works. Whoda thunk it? I gots to tell the boys over at Baseball Tonight about this shee-it.
I am now officially The Hard Luck Pitcher of the national league
Apex, I live to cause you misery. I’m having an appletini with The Ghost of Chris Benoit’s Retarded Son as you read this. Soon enough I will be back at the plate. And you will turn a bit greyer. And gheyer.
The shit that used to happen to the Cubs starts happening to the other team…passed balls, wild pitches. Maybe Feliz can take a popup off the head too?
If I got anymore ghey I’d be hosting a reality game show on NBC. Or something that involves sex with dudes.
Who needs us?
At work, no radio today with boss in house. Infield at DP depth for Ward? Or in?
It’s like a catcher’s strain of the Rick Ankiel disease.
Did I get traded to the Giants last night?
All right I’m just playin. Here’s a run for you!
Senor Hendry, I hear you hire lots of catchers?
That’s two passed balls Guiller(ho)mo. Who’s the ass-muncher now? Oh, and I’m still not over it. F*ck you.
That describes this Rodriguez clown’s play.
May I push in your stool?
I just called the trainer out because i’m all dizzy and can’t see or something.
Injury delay?
Seriously though, what is so bad about this lineup? Admit it, we’re actually somewhat deep this year. It does not worry me, and as you can see, we are posting runs!
Giants infielders are apparently out of position. If I’m Bochy I station one or two of them near the bricks behind G-Homo.
Geez that Guillermo something-or-other is terrible.
Yeah, who’s hurt? Help?
Hey, Redbeard. That was deep, dude. How many runs have WE scored today though?
Just fun’in with ya.
I can’t see so good. Should I bring my shoes and all my glasses? So I have them? Hello?
I was replaced by Molina.
Was it me, #102?
G-Homo is hurt? Or did he just get Patrick Roy’d?
#86 – That hit by Floyd went off Feliz’s knee. Does that count?
Come on Apex, get over it. The Cubs got a 6-0 lead and it’s expanding with local dickwad Mischa Barton on the mound.
Took himself out the game.
Clifford. Floyd. Ogdens.
Double my pleasure. As much as I love the Cubs, I hate the Giants. Bad experience at a Cubs game at PacBellATTSBCYahoo park a few years ago. I’m loving this.
If you look at Gameday for this @bat…. Pitch 4 was overcompensation, don’t you think?
> Seriously though, what is so bad about this lineup?
Our RBI hits notwithstanding, us.
Sorry, DeRosa’s @bat, i’m too slow on “submit”
And, then it rolled under the tarp
It’d be nice for this one to turn into a real laugher so Gallagher could pitch the last 3 innings, and Big Z and the bullpen can get some rest.
I’ll award partial credit on that one.
Chris Capuano’s dead ass (5-6), 5.16 ERA, 1.54 WHIP
Vs.
Dougie Davis’ ghey facial pubes. (6-10), 4.19, 1.73 WHIP
Discuss.
Deja fucking vu time?
Me again, bitches.
What wouldn’t be funny, Mike would be Zambrano pulling Lou’s arm from its socket when he tries to shake his and and tell him he’s done for the day.
Can lightning strike twice?
Apex,
If the motehrfucking Giants come back I will drive to Nap Town and find you for your insolent post in #118.
No. But I can take a pitch or two. Or four.
I see chin music on GameCast?
Someone please tell me Jock has been decapitated.
I seriously can’t believe this.
We need to trade for a new catcher every week if it makes Hill play like this.
I’m suddenly looking not-half-bad.
I take back all of the bad things I said about Koyie Hill.
I have struck again after all. Even I don’t believe it.
Bad taste from yesterday = gone.
Holy crap! I might have to go home on my break and rub one out.
Thanks, Mike!
You’ll have to drive a little farther, Mike. I’ll be in Columbus playing softball this evening. Bring some doobage and we’ll hit the Village Pantry for a Chunky run.
Gallagher in
All thanks to my powerful middle name, yo.
I call dibs on the 8th and 9th!!! And the leftovers!
It sounds like you guys are having fung. All ok about yesterday & shit. But on my Yahoo! Gamechannel, it still has Jock up with a 1-2 count. None of the cool shit that you guys aren’t describing has happened yet. And I’m still pissed about last night.
Yeah, I don’t think you put the jinx in, Apex, but heading down there with my dugout and some sticky fingers for the candy aisle sounds like fun.
Oh, I see what they did.
:)
Did someone say doobage? You mean “medicine”?
Yes *cough* ah… that’s what I meant.
Anyone need my medicinal marijuana card? You can get a kick-ass trucker hat to go along with it.
The way I’m pitching, I shoulda stuck with smashing watermelons.
No. 4:
July 18th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Which is why they’ll probably score 10.
Really, as long as Z is on and goes 8 we’ll just need 1 or 2.
Eerie…do I hear the four horsemen in the distance?
I got warrants!
THAT is Scott Sanderson? The tall queen in the plaid shorts and lime green polo shirt? I guess we were right about him all along.
I always hated that sissy.
Preserving the shut-out, Ogdationalisms.
#145, You’re right except for the part about Z going 8. He went 5. Nigga.
You mean us, 148?
(Cranks up Cypress Hill song and puts feet on desk as boss heads home for the day)
Yeah, but Scott Sanderson hit half of his career home runs against the Cubs.
If “Jock” hit a liner into Steve Kline’s forehead, he’d be absolved of about 97% of his transgressions.
Once more, with feeling?
I thought Steve Kline was dead.
we exist?
My boss has been gone all week. My colleague next to me is quite disgusted at how little work I have done today.
An injured HEAD? Which one? Upper, or lower? With a catcher, you never know.
I’m the pride and Joy of Racine, WI. Wait. Did I say that aloud?
What would you guys think about me becoming a Cub?
Hate it.
Soriano is 1-13 in this series no matter where he bats. Think anybody noticed?
Bring it.
10!
12!
Hey, we go to 11.
12!
12?
12!
Anybody got the Cubs in this week’s 13-run pool?
Lou: Hey you, Lolich.
Scott Eyre: mrphmm?
Lou: Yeah, you. Get in there. We need someone to eat an inning.
Eyre: I love onion rings.
Lou: Not onion rings, you fat fuck. Innings! Frames! What your fat ass is getting paid too much money to pitch in.
Eyre: What?
Lou: Just get in there before I stick a harpoon in your ass, tubby.
–Eyre starts folowing a wispy trail of BBQ smoke out through the dugout tunnel–
Lou: Hey, where you going? What the hell! I freaking HATE when Yosh starts firing uop the wok before the game ends. Gallagher, just finish this game, will ya?
I believe I “earned” a ridiculously-defined Save, no?
Gotta love the 9-run lead, 4 inning save.
Not a bad way to earn a save if you can get it. I could stand to see one of those at least once a week.
Save? Works for me. Hope he gets another “save” tomorrow!
The last Cubs catcher with five or more RBIs was Paul Bako on April 5, 2003..Who knew?
12 Runs, and 12 wins for big Z. Yesterday evening seems a long time ago now.
That’s the difference with the way this team is playing right now. When I saw the score last night, and then saw that the Brewers won, I was like “DANG….oh wait, I bet they’re going to come out and win tomorrow anyway.”
sho’ nuff.
now we need those diamondbacks to win tonight, though we are in the wild card race with them.
I AM THE GHOST OF DAMON BERRYHILL, FUCK A JASON KENDALL IN HIS GAY DAD’S BUTT WITH A STEROID NEEDLE!
Berryhill’s got nothing on me.
Should you visit mlb.com right now, there’s a really creepy (read: awesome and amazing) photo of me up.
Wurrrrrrrd bitches. Oh and I have 12 wins despite sucking a !@#$% early on in the season.
Palabra, perras!!!!!!