Pitching Matchup:
Snakes: Brandon “Cy?” Webb 8-7, 3.42 ERA
Cubs: Jason “Wow, I really suck now” Marquis 6-5, 4.03 ERA
Lineups
Diamondbacks
Jeff Devanon, rf
Orlando Hudson, 2b
The Dog Drowner, lf
Pimply McRedhead, 1b
Mark “Don’t call me Shane” Reynolds, 3b
JD Drew’s sissier brother, ss
Chris “I’m not a 6’10 white guy” Young, cf
Somebody “Koyie Hill is my Idol” Snyder, c
Brandon Webb, p
Cubs
Alfonse the Magnificent, lf
Dance Fever, ss
Mike “Don’t call me Ray” Fontenot, 2b
E-ramis, 3b
Jock, cf
Angel Pagan, cf
Scott Moore, 1b (Guh.)
Taint, c
Marquis du Suck, p
Another Beautiful Day to be at the ballpark. Except I’m fucking stuck at fucking work, doing my fucking job, which is getting me fucking nowhere near watching a fucking ballgame.
Hope your day is going as well as/better than mine!
I’m playing left field for the D-Backs today?
Good thing you called me up! I can go in and play first base today…. Wait, I can’t? Shit.
That describes today’s lineup. Get ready to put up the L flag.
I’ve had it with these motherfuckin’ snakes in this motherfuckin’ ballpark!
#4 which lineup are you talking about? Ours blows, too.
hey number 4….today’s lineup is so good we have two….count ’em two centerfielders. that’s twice as many as the other team.
Grow a sack 4, it isn’t that bad. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Samuel L. is going to sing the seventh inning stretch on Sunday and yell just what 5 said. Hey, it’s all part of the motherfuckin’ Cubbie Swagger!
Lou’s lining his outfielders up in the I-formation behind second base. You gonna argue with Lou? So shaddup!
Why doesn’t anyone want to play in me today?
Is it because they’re too busy playing in Seattle Sutton?
I prefer the T formation. It worked for Papa Bear in the same ballpark, no?
I share your sentiment. Only today at work I was pleasantly surprised with tix tomorrow. So sometimes work helps you get closer to being at the ballpark……
….just not on a Friday afternoon. Damn.
We thrilled the nation with that T formation butthead. Or something.
We are kind of in a slump, right guys? We should probably wait until Monday to break out of it though, don’t you think??
We’ll never forget, #14.
Man, soon as that douchbag owner of min put me in McCovey Cove I swam like a motherfucker to get away from him. Then I thought I saw Jim Edmonds in a kayak and I hung a left and some dumb bitch (not a female doge mind you) picked me up and brought me back my owner. Beats getting butt raped by a gay Cardinal I guess.
According to ViewFromTheBleachers.com, Scott Moore takes the active roster spot vacated by Daryle Ward’s placement on the 15-day DL. Ryan Dempster is active for the game with Sean Gallagher being optioned to AAA.
Brave!
Sweet, I’m back in Chicago!
…I wonder if that nasty broad still works at McFadden’s?
Ah, fuck it, I’m out of here. I gots me some slumps to bust.
I am behind home plate today.
Where’s Mongo McMichael? I want to have some speaks with him after the game.
Gotta love a DL-worthy injury occurring on an infield popup.
…right #9? Not that I would be surprised if it was true…
I still show up on ESPN Gamecast any time that Mike Fontenot is batting. How long do you think I will be doing this? The rest of the season? The rest of Fontenot’s career??
Ugh…
My game day has Soriano still batting, which is nice. How did the Cubs get out of the inning? Gameday says Byrnes doubled with two outs, next up was Soriano. Guh!
I grounded out to end the top of the 1st, 26
That was quick. Oh yeah!
Fonzie with the DP! Sweet!
Did we trade Jock to AZ? Maj DP!
Ring up another assist! I’m teh balls!
Wind’s blowing in…I lay one down?????
Now I am.
Some people still try to dog my defense sometimes, or say that people run on me because I supposedly suck, but I still keep getting people out like that.
uh…my gamecast is stuck…whats going on?
I am stuck with 2 outs, top of the third, lead off guy coming to the plate.
I’m a vampire, so my likeness won’t show up in photos.
You’re not missing anything, Hannibal. Just a bunch of ground outs.
I suck again!!
is wrong with MLB Gameday? Fuck!
If a home run is hit, and MLB Gameday does not work to show it, does it really happen?
The sinker must really be working for Marquis and Webb today.
If I drop a growler and nobody smells it, does it really happen?
Goddamnit Pat! Did you shart?
I can’t tell anymore. And I don’t really care either.
I’m the mayor of bizzaro world.
this jock guy is pretty good.
Len Kasper has been looking pretty smart these past few games.
I starting to like the fact that the Commissioner/the Tribuen/Sam Zell/ the Trilateral Commission nixed that Jacques Jones trade
one run lead. I better go get my gas can…
Actually, it was the Pentaverate that nixed the trade.
Plenty of gas cans here Will O, right over there in the bullpen.
Get a few hits and even the Desipiots start changing their opinion of me. Ain’t that some shit?
Don’t worry about it Will, I’ll take care of it.
Fuck you, Marquis.
Yep I’m now full of shit.
#50: Never mind – Markees took care of it and then some. Ugh.
I’m Marquis’ April and May 2007!
Hey, we know that guy!
Why were you fellows making fun of the way Matt Morris breathes?
Should we start using this for Marquis?
Maybe Marquis will pull muscle in his back swinging out of his shoes in this at-bat.
I know this Arizona pitcher won the Cy Young last year…but i didn’t know he actually WAS Cy Young.
At least the Cubs runs to hits ratio is good today. Guh!
And I am not ready (at least yet) to start pissing on Marquis, if 2 runs is the extent of the damage, he will have done OK.
A couple of hits would positive.
$64 – You’re probably right about Marquis, but man is it frustrating to have your pitcher give up the lead in the next half-inning after your offense manufactured a run against a tough starter.
Other than one bad pitch, Marquis has been solid today.
DPappy, that’s MR Sixty-Four Dollars to you.
Hey! These balls are nowhere near the plate! I think I’ll swing at them!
It went so well the first time, I thought I’d do it again.
Who’s the balls??
me, again, apparently.
Pancakes hitting a tall stack to bring the butter on home in syrupy goodness.
me too
F— all y’all.
The real question, putas, is who is the MVP of this team?
Take your time…
Jock Jones snapping his elastic to bring the cup on home for a strapping score.
dont worry, im back to being me
jock!
I got mad hits like I’m Rod Carew
or slap me.
And with that, Jock commences sucking, once again.
Idiot.
Lame.
Even worse.
Fool me once…. shame on you
Fool me twice… shame on me.
Try for the third time… Fuck you, and your mother, and the horse she rode in on.
Gameday has me trying to pick off a ghost runner!
Oooooohhhhh….. Scary!
I still call this an improvement for Jock. Two months ago, that CS would have been the tail-end of a K/CS double-play.
Was actually thinking Jock had been replaced by a pod before that caught stealing.
Hey, I can’t be golden all the time.
Jason, I’m waiting to fall off.
Ramirez is positive world force.
I’m on pace for a me.
At least Jock waited for Ramirez to score before making an out. I consider this a step in the right direction.
Lee Smith is teh balls. I loved the sleepy galoot growing up. He was ballpark off key, but his tempo was good and did a pretty good job singing the stretch.
So what do I do boys? Howry-Dempster? Marmol-Dempster? Marquis-Dempster?
Ohman-Eyre?? ha!
Lou said I probably wouldn’t pitch today unless it was an emergency.
I’m thinking Marmol-Howry would be nice
why do i suck again, doges?
i’m staying in doges…yeah, i’m shitting my pants too.
Why are we pissing on Marquis today? Not splooging or anything, but he didn’t suck today. 2 runs through 7, 4 hits, 0 walks, and a couple of Ks. That’s pretty damn good.
He may fall apart in the 8th, but for now I ain’t complainin’
we know how that goes
that is good…can’t we just leave it at that before it’s not so good?
Based on gamecast, I’m behind the plate today
Marquis du not teh suc today.
101. Angel Hernandez. Close.
Looks like Jason was the Grand Marquis today. Good outing (lets hope we get a few more like it).
Aren’t I dead?
2 out walk. Shoulda known.
Take that you whiny biatches. 2 runs through 7 2/3 (with one runner in play). You can eat my quality start.
Lou just walked out to the mound to get Marquis. Marmol started jogging in. Lou threw his hands up and sent him back. Then he talked to Marquis for like 10 seconds and waved Marmol in. It was kind of funny.
Yes, #105, I work the 6 ft and under league
It’s a shame that Dempster has to blow this game in the ninth. It would be a good one to steal from Cy Webb.
Come on Marmot…
Come on Marmot…
Come on Marmot…
So Marmol recorded the K and not Marquis? Gameday says its Marquis but its kinda fuct up today so I don’t know.
Got him. Let’s get some Farmers Insurance runs. Dempster makes my bowels irritible as all get out.
Q. What was the mystery machine?
now that the book is closed, you may start fellating.
Never mind.
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7e/Marmot_princeton.JPG/426px-Marmot_princeton.JPG[/img]
According to Gamecast, I threw 205 pitches today. That seems excessive.
How about it, guys? We don’t pay sponsorship dollars for nothing!
How humiliating, I forgot how to put images up on this page. Where is an old Rally Carp thread when you need one.
#118
That’s the average for my starters.
What happened to me?
Go for the double steal?
teh BALLS!
Again, who’s the balls?
MVPancakes
Pancakes pulls through again.
He’s a hot stack.
beats the shit out of pancakes
What happened to me?
I leeeve for these things!!!
is a cheese eating surrender monkey
I hate me…
KABOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
corrected
I am all over E-Ram.
Hello!
Howry’s fastball is not straight. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Goes slappy go jacky like a donkey on a waffle.
Cubs Win!
Time to Celebrate….
Who wants to go to IHOP?
Howry haters. Suck it.
So far I’ve been worthless.
Suck it bitches
Seven game over .500. Wow. I’d forgotten what this was like. And I love this song.
uh uh, i was the reason Marquis wasn’t de suc today. Just ask Huston Street.
That is what the Cubbies are!!!
Flap-flap-ripple-ripple-flap, female doges.
Westsiiiide! Oh, wait.
The song grows on you. Like a fungus.
Suck it!
Incredible post. Awesome game. And yes, song-growing-on.
Post #145 was clearly Apex. Therefore it’s appeal is dampened.
got salad?
DUDES! THIS IS THE HOT STREAK IVE BEEN WARNING YOU WAS COMING FOR THE LAST THREE SEASONS. LET ME BACK IN TO MANAGE!!
Anyone want me to become a part of history tonight?
Giving up
/steps off rubber
a big
/throws to first base when bases are empty
milestone
/juggles four rosin bags
homer is
/checks easy bake oven….cookies are done
a lot of fun.
/delivers cookies to Wrigleyville residents
You should
/rides ferris wheel at Navy Pier
try doing
/finally delivers first pitch of the game.
it.
I get to play today!
No you don’t Dempster.
It was still hilarious though, and had me laughing after a crazy day of work…..and still laughing this morning before I head down to the game.
What am I on days that there are game threads started as opposed to those where there are not. Im too lazy to check myself.