Pitching matchup:
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano 14-7, 3.42 ERA
Astro-nots: Lee Harvey Oswalt 11-6, 3.55 ERA
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Pitching matchup:
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano 14-7, 3.42 ERA
Astro-nots: Lee Harvey Oswalt 11-6, 3.55 ERA
Hello, Milwaukee.
I’m also in the shitter, hell the whole offense is.
Can’t Joe Morgan be the dumbass de ano for failing to realize that Luis Castillo spent most of his career in the NL?
I caught Cuckoo’s nest last night on AMC (no coverage). I really enjoyed Sean Marshall’s performance as Taber.
I should be changed to the Derrek Lee-o-Meter, with “Sleepy” still the status quo.
Oh Christ. Jock is batting 2nd tonight.
Great. I’m hurt again.
I’m batting second? Really? I get to make an out in the first inning. Oh wait I did that yesterday.
I am mystified…
Eat it ogdens!
Jones! A walk? Are you shitting me?
What in the hell is coiitis?
They’re pitching around me to get to Lee.
Jock walks tonight. Yesterday with bases loaded the idiot swung at the first pitch.
I am now more common that Daily Doses.
Brenly has informed me that Fontenot has inserted. Wait that’s been inserted in to the lineup.
You’ve got an inflamed colon, Angel.
I seem to be all over the place.
I’m really bad at my job.
You’ve got an inflamed colon.
Thankfully we didn’t have a repeat overslide the base on a walk play.
I read somewhere that our Slingblade catcher pwns Roy Oswalt.
So Lou puts in Koyie tonight. That is so Dusty, dude.
Will we ever get a hit with runners in scoring position?
Two straight walks – I’ll swing at the first pitch – can’t have the bases clogged.
I fucking suck.
I’ve kinda turned into Jock.
Cliff abuses me.
Two straight walks and Cliff swings at the first pitch. Oy
Don’t worry Jock, I’ll f*ck things up instead.
Polyps on your colon.
I’m back, doges.
The Asstroll’s strategy is to hit everything to center.
I think I’m on tonight.
10 pitches in the first frame has got to be my season-best.
I have “right wrist soreness.”
I appear to be at this game. I am the source of those “God Damnits” you heard.
0-22 this series.
A lead off double is wasted. The Cubs cannot get the ball out of the infield with RISP. They are simply unable to do this.
You guys need to find some new material. I’ve worn out all your older stuff.
Fuck you Murton.
I wish I could quit you, LOB.
So did anyone notice when I crossed home plate last night my own son hugged me and all I do is ignore him and turn around and start highfiving people. I suck.
Carlos Lee and Cliff Floyd would finish third racing against me.
Helpâ€â€I’m at work. Wha’ happened on CLee’s leadoff double? Would Pie have had it?
Not a chance Pie gets it. Pretty much split the Right-Center gap.
Mike,
I doubt it. It was hit in the gap almost to the wall.
I stole second against your great catcher in the first game of the series.
I am the balls.
C Lee’s double. It was a bonafide double – nobody coulda gotten it, but it killed me to watch Cliff Floyd. He wasn’t even jogging. I wanna like Cliff, but he’s a fucking cripple these days. Goddamnit. Goddamnit.
Scrappy Tigers with their infield hits.
I’m at 420 Days!
I’ve been going with the Cubs radio feed for the last two nights. Tonight I’m going with the Astros TV feed. This sucks.
DLee just walked. Watch Cliff swing at the first pitch again.
Countdown To Brilliance. Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Can anyone on me hit a home run?
What do Angel Pagan and I have in common?
I’m over!
We could hit homers in this ballpark.
One run won’t win this game.
Lemme tell ya about my stat sheets.
i have an idea – pitch to c lee
All they’ve done on the Astros feed so far is talk to Bradon Backe. Brandon Backe sucks. This sucks.
berkman + c lee’s HRs > all 9 cubs’ starters combined HRs
and that’s including zambrano instead of jason kendall
How about three runs? Will three runs win this game?
Do you think 3 will cover it?
poor cliffy. i want to throw up.
#54
But 3 runs will. Swept by the Trolls. Sweet.
I’m glad I switched to the Cubs radio feed in time. I got to hear Ron Santo’s gamebreaking analysis call of “OHHHHH GOSH!”
Will this hot streak by the Astros lead to them winning the division?
Yeah – I do think three runs will do it.
i say the cubs score 5 tonight! let’s go!!!
Will we win 15 games the rest of the way?
1st and 2nd and no outs and the offense grinds to a halt again.
Has Murton managed to get a hit since being called up?
What a crock strike call on Dolan.
I’m with walsh, bitches! We are going to scoooooooore tonight.
Check two different threads on the message board. Hitting over .300 since recall.
i am rioting right now.
Been a while since we saw Z break a bat like that.
OH *SNAP*!
What hapless offense. Goddamnit.
murton hr last night, no?
Only took us three innings to get to this point last night. Something must be wrong.
someone watching the tv feed tell me biggio just made a ridiculous catch to save those runs
“The Cubs waste another scoring opportunity”
It was certainly not an embarrassingly weak lineout to second. Not at all.
3-0 back to The Dirty Dozen on AMC for me.
RE: 80
Nope. Just a soft liner. Sorta floated over there.
I turned last night’s travesty off early. I will probably do the same tonight.
Poopfuck!
Is there any chance we don’t get shut out? Seriously, any?
maybe oswalt will suck now that he’s had to run the bases a bit!
Maybe you guys can clear something up for me: When pitches come down the heart of the plate belt high and I pull back like it’s dangerously inside, is it because I’m scared of the ball, or because I’m trying to buy myself some calls? I’ve been doing it forever, and I just don’t know why.
gamecast’s frozen. anything good?
Well, Cubs fans, the series may not be going well for the Cubs in their gray road jerseys with the blue lettering gray pants, but I got my revenge.
Let’s say that Tex-Mex does not agree with my system.
for those that hadn’t bothered to look it up, colitis = the shits
For whatever he did or did not contribute to this team, it seems like the offense is completely dead without Soriano.
We are the Cubs
worst case scenario – at the end of the night, the cubs are 1 back for the division lead.
you cant find me….or the cubs offense!!
The Cubs have put the Asstrolls’ bullpen to sleep.
Any chance we see the patented Uncle Lou remove a batter in the middle of an AB here with Z. THis is ridiculous.
This is some production this lineup is giving us.
Morans
is below 70 wins for the second straight year, and It’s Gonna Happen!
I’m really starting to love hating this bunch of no-hitting twats. Brewers get swept and so will we by a team that was 14, yes 14 fucking games under .500. I officially NEGATIVE this group of gutless pussies. FUCK YOU CUBS!!!
I’ve got a joke for you: The Cubs offense.
No, that’s it. That’s the joke.
dude, 10 baserunners against oswalt, the offense isn’t hopeless… they just can’t seem to string the hits together. it’s been the problem for three nights in a row now – in august, it happens. maybe floyd shouldn’t be hitting 4th, maybe zambrano needs a pinch hitter after 94 pitches… just wait for that one big inning.
Maybe i shouldn’t be hitting fourth? I mean, I still don’t know if it’s fear or overthinking?
why did zambrano pitch to lamb? what is piniella doing man
It was good to see Big Z and this team sack it up.
Mike Effing Lamb? It’s always the Mike Lambs of the world.
We suck. We really, really fucking suck. We’re awful.
You wouldn’t have thought it possible for us to finish last, but just wait.
Dear Cubs,
We’ve been trying to give you the division for weeks yet you don’t seem to want it either.
“It’s been a strange week.”
Me thinks me means strange(slumpbuster) and weak(as in weak-hitting fags).
God but I’m a fat, useless retard.
I’m telling ya, the reason for this sucktastic stretch can be tied directly to the recall of me and my boy RonCe. We brought the team down in the first two months of the season, then went away to see the Cubs figure it out, but now were back to f it all up.
A winning pitcher does not throw the base on balls.
A miserable 6th inning.
Tubby Eyre: BB, H, BB.
Honestly, I’m praying for a granny. And for Eyre to drop dead of a fucking heart attack.
Any tickets available for that cool blimp thing….uh..the hindenburg?
Jose Macias, save me! Neifi? Womack?
Lawton?
. . . Dusty?
I’m making going to games at Houston look really boring.
That’s my boy! Here’s a nice twelve stuffed pizzas. Play nice now.
I would rather have phillipino whores shoot period clots in my mouth for the rest of the year than watch fuckin’ Eyre throw another pitch.
Hey guys I’m back!
Gotta say I’m happy with my decision to resist a radio w/headphones for my train rides home when I work late. I left the office just after Biggio’s home run and didn’t have to listen to thhis crap.
Of course I got home in time to see latest Cub Killer Mike Lamb nail this game away. Crud.
Hey look! A runner on third w/1 out! Let’s see how we strand Theriot.
Is he a Cub? Explain yourself! Don’t scare me like that.
#123 means like “sweaty joe.” You know, sweat. Because this game is such a nail-biter.
I’m just gonna say this once.
Fuck you, Derrek Lee.
#123 musta had JoBo confused with me. I came in, got shellacked–well, except for the fact that I got Derrek Lee to roll one out to third after Theriot and Jock–EVEN JOCK– hit my shit harder than Ike Turner.
Try me sometime Mike!
I think Derrek really wants off of Al’s list and on to Kerm’s .
What’s older: Hindenberg or Ike Turner references?
Me, #131?
Looks like I’m having a blast, doesn’t it?
I’M BACK BITCHES
Butts in seats, EP. TribCo puts ALL butts in seats.
In case this craptastic team backs into the playoffs, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna find myself off the roster. Damn, I should pay more attention and stop sucking ass. Wasn’t I good once?
A dickie is just a cold man’s ascot.
Cubs be gettin’ beat like they was Ike’s wife’s left eye and rib cage.
Seriosuly, take it from me. The Cubs are getting fucking pounded.
Would it kill Lou to put Pie in center so he’ll have his feet under him when he starts to Denver? I mean really, do we need to see Jones bat again? I look forward to at-bats by Jock Jones as much as I look forward to waking up at 5 am.
Brooklyn or Phillie? Shit, the commercials are more entertaining tonight.
me like jacque swing. see ball SWING BALL RARGH SWING HIT SMASH CHEW
Things are so bad I’M not even hustling right now.
Shoulda been on second.
Late inning comeback or PPV softcore?
Would it kill Derrek to actually hit the ball out of the infield on a fly? And not have the ball hang in teh air for 5 seconds? And only go 200 feet?
#144 – I think Comeback is a PPV title.
I guess the answer is, “Yes, it would kill.”
#146 – I think title is long for tit.
Maybe the roles are reversed and now I’M the Scottie Pippen and Ramirez is the man? Or are neither of us man enough to shake off a slump and step up when our team truly needs it?
Either way, if I haven’t been hitting this weakly since my first 2 months here in ’05.
2004, Derrek. Yes, it’s been that long.
I just peeked at Derrek Lee’s gamelog. Wheels ain’t off the bus yet, folks. I’ve been shackled to radio feed though, so if he’s giving off some visual cue as to his suckitude, I’m oblivious to it.
I’m still thinking wrist.
After this three-up, three down, please reference:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7263610620299944891
for the summation of 2007.
Our visual cue on the other hand is quite obvious.
I’m calling out Jim Hendry on the radio right now.
Hey guys when does our series in Houston start?
No microscope or magnifying glass is needed to see the changes that need to be made to the make up of this ballclub.
Morans
Now I’m calling out Fred McGriff. Someone remind me to tell Fork about this tomorrow.
Fred McGriff? Might as well call for Danny Jackson and Dave Smith’s heads too.
I just looked at the stats and saw that Derrek Lee has an OPS over 1.000 since the All-Star break, and I’ve been criticizing his recent performance. I am a fucking moron.
Sorry to say this boys….Soriano is done, the Cubs are done…A- Ram and D – Lee look horrible right now….When K-Wood is the highlite right now we should face facts and realize the team is done…..see you next year…..Lou can’t manage, Kendall is a joke, Jaques Jones Should be gone, Marshall, Ohman, Dempster know they are stealing right now…..and by the way does K-Wood have a tape worm or do we all know now that he and Prior we on roids………..by the way it’s almost Football season, thank god….but as much as the Bears have improved they still have Rex….
Yes, I am a doucherocket and I am also the know-nothing screaming pair of panties behind #160.
Don’t even bother reading my article on Thursday, unless you want some cute nicknmaes like Rex The Wonder Bear and my one billionth Bartman reference, for the gist of my article will be what I have so neatly encapsulated for you in #160.
Anybody notice that I just copied and pasted this same thing in the next thread? Not only am I a doucherocket, but I am also an unoriginal bastard.