Dogpatch: Braden Looper 10-9, 5.08 ERA
Cubs: Rich Hill 6-7, 3.85 ERA
446 Comments
Lineup
on August 17, 2007 at 12:45 pm
The Riot, SS
Le Jock, CF
Who-Me? 1B
Pancakes, 3B
Fat Kangaroo, RF
The Bane of Apex, LF
Eckstein, 2B
Serial Killer, C
Dick Mountain / Pussy Hill, P
Murton
on August 17, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Fuck you Apex, gonna get another couple of hits today to piss you off for making everyone on this site hate me.
Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Has anyone seen my dumbass pic on Cubs.com for the days pitching matchup? Did you notice I look like a real cave-dwelling, knuckle-dragging moran that could be related to the Missing Link?
G-Man
on August 17, 2007 at 12:52 pm
#3. I have now and you are correct. He looks like a bottom feeder at best. Thanks for the live today, you are saving me as I have absolutely nothing to do today except look at gamecast.
G-Man
on August 17, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Of course, Hill looks like a 12 year old cheesing for gramma-cam.
G-Man
on August 17, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Think Big Z decided he had better sign before he blows another game and another million?
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:05 pm
So what’s wrong with DeRosa? I only caught the last part of the scintillating Santo-Piniella show and Lou said he could pinch hit, but didn’t expect him to play in the field today.
Bruce Weber
on August 17, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I’m such a bad recruiter I couldn’t sell a glass of water to someone walking in the Sahara…
Cue mouthbreathing shot.
G-Man
on August 17, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Piniella probably feels as if he should rest DeRosa after all the running he did last night. Good call putting the hot bat on the bench. Of course all this means is that I have no idea.
Viva El Fuckwads
on August 17, 2007 at 1:13 pm
We’re going to finish this series in first place, because Josh Hancock is helping us out from heaven! Yay, JH 32!
You know, when he died, a tragedy of monumental proportions, it was only because God needed a righty in his bullpen of angels who could get the big outs. That was our Josh!
Donnie Moore
on August 17, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Hey #10. Go fuck yourself.
NSBB
on August 17, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Adam Dunn!
I have no point, I just like to type that.
G-Man
on August 17, 2007 at 1:15 pm
#10 Do you really believe all that? I mean are you dipping into the meth with a Lik-Em stick?
Lassie
on August 17, 2007 at 1:16 pm
I was just reading about Carlos Zambrano’s “burning desire to remain a Cub.”
I have a burning desire for some Valtrex.
Wayne Messmer
on August 17, 2007 at 1:17 pm
BREEEEVE!!!
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:18 pm
To counter the angelic presence of Josh Hancock, Lou Piniella has offered to let Jason Kendall kill Will Ohman.
WO 13!
GRAVE!!!
on August 17, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Is how I feel about the chances of the Cubs coming out of this series alive.
David Eckstein
on August 17, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Sure, I’ve been to Michael Jackson’s for a sleepover.
David Eckstein's nephews
on August 17, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Uncle Dave, do our eyes look more yellow than yesterday?
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 1:20 pm
You know Ken Doll wears that mask for the same reason Hannibal Lecter has to wear his. Ever see anybody sitting next to this guy? Ever seen his shadow?
Al Hrabosky
on August 17, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Harumph harumph harumph harumph harumph Cubs suck harumph harumph harumph harumph losers harumph harumph harumph I had no harumphin’ idea that the harumph hooker was a tranny harumph.
Braden Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Gameday says I’m batting 8th today.
Bob Brenly in the floppy hat
on August 17, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Holy Johnny Cakes!
Tony LaRussa
on August 17, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Rick Ankiel is not in the lineup today. It’s visitor’s day at the prison. I forget if he’s visiting his dad or his brother.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Daryle Ward is covering a lot of ground in right field.
Standing still.
I’ve got a million of ’em.
Cub Fan in PA
on August 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm
#18, that’s classic.
Chip Caray
on August 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Hey guys! Just checking in. What a wild race you’ve got there in the NL Comedy Central! With the Raging Redbirds and the Charging Cubbies locking horns for four big ones in Chi-Town! I’m excited. The Cubs really had their hittin’ shoes on yesterday. I gotta tell you that was great. Yes, I’m a douche.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:26 pm
If Eckstein is going to pull that “I’m not trying to get a hit, just trying to foul off some balls” little Dick Hill needs to just bounce one off the little dwarf’s skull.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Len just said DeRosa had a shot in the hip. I guess he decided to cap off his career day with some quail hunting.
Boogity
on August 17, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I think Chip Caray’s eyebrows just took a swing at me.
Cub Fans Everywhere
on August 17, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Chip, shut the fuck up.
IHeartFatChicks
on August 17, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Uncle Lou says I got a shot in the hip yesterday, that’s why I’m not in the lineup.
IHeartFatChicks
on August 17, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I’m still available for all the fatties after the game however. Do the Fucktards also have the Fattest Female Fans in baseball?
Lance Dickson's Arm
on August 17, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Nice start. The ball doesn’t leave the infield.
Cubs Pitching
on August 17, 2007 at 1:31 pm
1 2 3! Whodathunkit?
Al Hrabosky
on August 17, 2007 at 1:34 pm
It’s obvious the Cubs are starting three lefties in this series because they are afraid of Rick Ankiel.
Cubs' 4 Hitter
on August 17, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I have a better avg than the guy in the 3 hole.
Braden Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 1:35 pm
In 11 pitches I’ve thrown one legit strike. Thanks, Cubs!
morpheus
on August 17, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Braden, you’ll have to thank Angel Hernandez as well… that last pitch to Lee was not a strike.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Derrek Lee has to lead the world in number of at bats where he never swings at a pitch. Guh.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:37 pm
GEEEEEZUS, Lee. Quit staring at that SHIT for strike 3! They’ve been calling it on you for FOUR fucking months. START SWINGING, DICKHEAD!
Braden Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Speaking of which,
BRADEN HUNGRY. ME PAINT ON CAVES.
Steve McMichael
on August 17, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I’ll have some speaks later with Angel Hernandez.
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Guys, I have work to do. Please stop distracting me!
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Here’s how bad the outfield is today. I’m actually hoping the ball is hit to Jock.
Wow.
Chris Berman
on August 17, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Scott is Rolen’ Rolen’ Rolen’…back to the dugout!
Outfield
on August 17, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Is it possible for the cubs to start a slower outfield? I’m glad the fat kangaroo covers alot of ground standing still because no one else does.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Chin music to Lassie. Nice job, Rich. He needs to pitch with this kind of confidence every game.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Rich saw how many strikeouts Koyie got yesterday and decide the wrong Hill was getting all the Ks.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Edmonds looked good in that at bat.
Six pitches, all curveballs. One knocked him on his ass, two he missed completely and the one he struck out on bounced about four feet in front of the plate.
Nice.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:45 pm
^ He was also given an extra strike.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 1:45 pm
If you connect all the dots that the pitches make on gameday you get nothing special. I was hoping for a penguin.
6 in a row
on August 17, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Remember when Rich set me down during that one Brewers game? Then set down like the next four after that?
Yeah that’d be nice to see.
Jim Edmonds
on August 17, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Siegfried & Roy just beat me to the headlines of BGay.com. Damnit!
3M Outfield
on August 17, 2007 at 1:47 pm
#47, even slower than us? (Matthews-Mumphrey-Moreland from ’86)
4 straight
on August 17, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Walk it off Pancho.
Outfield
on August 17, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I guess they could field the 3M outfield and they would definitely be slower now, but I don’t know if we did a fantasy Outfield in their prime relay race that they would be slower. I do know it would take a long time to find out.
#55
on August 17, 2007 at 1:50 pm
3M makes Post-it Notes.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Murton’s not “slow” in the outfield. The problem is that he usually runs the wrong way for the first 10 feet or so.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Aren’t they part of the power at Wrigley Field #55?
Outfield
on August 17, 2007 at 1:52 pm
I think slow refers to our thought processes first and fore….what was I saying?
Square D
on August 17, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Thanks, #60. We know now how well that sponsorship money is being spent.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 1:53 pm
4H is part of the fan base for the Tards.
Corporal Corpulent
on August 17, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Angel’s strike zone sucks – Edmonds got 4 strikes, and strike 2 to Ward was not even close.
Taylor
on August 17, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Are they filming a remake of Deliverance at Wrigley? No. It’s just Looper on the mound.
4H
on August 17, 2007 at 1:54 pm
We bring children and livestock together.
Tony Larussa
on August 17, 2007 at 1:55 pm
I’d explain why I’m hitting the pitcher ninth, but none of you would understand anyway. Well, one guy in Hobart might.
Gamecast
on August 17, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Said the ball flew right at Ward… You think he’s big enough to have some gravitational pull action going on?
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Lou should wait for Looper to finish his at bat, then go and complain that the Cardinals have hit out of order. When the umps tell him that’s the order LaRussa set he can demand they call Ryan out because Tony’s order is “stupid.”
That’ll work, right?
Tony Larussa
on August 17, 2007 at 1:56 pm
I’d explain why I left the word “not” out of my last post in front of the word hitting, but none of you would understand anyway.
#69
on August 17, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Brilliant.
Tony LaRussa
on August 17, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I’m a lawyer. I passed the bar back in the late ’70s. Of course, that’s the last time I passed a bar.
So, LaRooosa now has a runner on first with two outs instead of having a runner on first with one out and the pitcher to bunt him over. Brilliant.
Bed
on August 17, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Rich Hill is gonna shit me.
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 1:59 pm
My sphincter is beginning to tighten!
A pennant race is no place for me and my IBS!
8 in a row
on August 17, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I was how many Rich set down until the hit. Now the wheels had better not come off….
Joe Buck
on August 17, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Chuck,
Don’t you dare challenge the brilliance of Tony La Russa. Ever.
Peon.
Ryan or Eric Ludwick, like it matters
on August 17, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I’m the cure for any rally!
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Personally, I love RaLoser’s lineup.
Len Kasper
on August 17, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Here’s a high drive to right and Ward is under it, it is beginning to orbit him and he’s got it for the final out.
Larry Rothschild
on August 17, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Nice job, Rich. Your fresh diaper is on the bench next to your tampons.
Fonty and Ken Doll
on August 17, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Here come the big bats!!!
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:03 pm
You should have seen before the game when Angel Pagan was explaining to Felix Pie how the Fat Kangaroo works. Felix just kept shaking his head saying, “Ain’t no way I’m getting in that.”
Tampons
on August 17, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Not the best thing in life, but next to it.
Chip Caray
on August 17, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I really like that little Fontenot. My favorite font is Arial.
Mike Fontenot
on August 17, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Wow, David Eckstein is small. What a freak. What time do the adults play?
I like not being the smallest guy on the field.
Ken Doll
on August 17, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I’ll kill you
Two seconds
on August 17, 2007 at 2:05 pm
That’s how long before the pitch that Angel Hernandez decides if it’s a strike or a ball.
11 batters faced and 57 pitches? Holy Cow! (tm Phil Rizzuto without acknowledgement to Harry Caray.)
Ryan Ludwick Fan Club
on August 17, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Do we call ourselves the Luddites?
Mike Wuertz
on August 17, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Don’t worry Chuck. If Richie gets tired, I’ve got this!
Phil Rizzuto
on August 17, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I had to die to get mentioned here. So did JH. Ken Doll is happy.
Luddites
on August 17, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Our reference went way over everyone’s heads.
Chip Caray
on August 17, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I miss the Air and Water Show. I always broke out that “It’s plane as day!” jokes.
Those are good.
Taylor
on August 17, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Looper has a no hitter going?
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I always figured Cardinals fans as a gaggle of progress inhibiting textile workers.
StrikeZone
on August 17, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I’m both wide and narrow, High and Low. What am I?
Hits
on August 17, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Cubs won’t get any.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 2:11 pm
That’s no way to talk about Tards #96. Where’s your PC?
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Fuck you #98.
Pujols
on August 17, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Owned by the Cubs!
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:14 pm
God, I hate Angel Hernandez. He can’t make up his mind where the strike zone is. Right now, it sure isn’t going the Cubs way.
Angel Hernandez
on August 17, 2007 at 2:14 pm
I am the textbook definition of awful.
Mierda-hueco
on August 17, 2007 at 2:14 pm
I too old for dis shit mang.
Pujols
on August 17, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Four strikes right down the middle? thanks Rich.
For the Gamecast viewers...
on August 17, 2007 at 2:15 pm
How awful did Murton look fielding that ball?
Angel Hernandez
on August 17, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I suck.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Scott Rolen’s a cheater. Haw-hah!
Angel Hernandez
on August 17, 2007 at 2:17 pm
How do you like me now, female doges?
Angel Hernandez
on August 17, 2007 at 2:17 pm
…but at least I got the interference call right.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Hot damn, Hernandez does something right. Pujols tries to steal second but Rolen stepped in front of Kendall after striking out. Pujols called out on the interference.
Someone interfered with me once. The result was a double homicide, I mean twin killing, I mean double play.
Like a monkey fucking a football
on August 17, 2007 at 2:18 pm
106.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 2:18 pm
What just happened. Gamecast wasn’t clear.
Mongo
on August 17, 2007 at 2:19 pm
I won’t have some speaks with the ump after that call. WOOOOOOO!!!!
Prince Fielder
on August 17, 2007 at 2:20 pm
I’m still fat.
116
on August 17, 2007 at 2:20 pm
And suspended! Hah!
Jim Edmonds
on August 17, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Rolen’s weird. He doesn’t like it when a sweaty man takes him from behind and punches him in the back.
Stat Geek
on August 17, 2007 at 2:21 pm
So does that go down as a CS for Poo-hole?
Pitch Counts?
on August 17, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Anybody?
Cell Block Number 9
on August 17, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I love The Riot.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:22 pm
There goes the no hitter.
And 119, I believe Pujols is ejected on the play because one of his teammates tried to cheat for him. Rolen is ejected, too, and so is Ken Oberkfell and Lonnie Smith just for the hell of it.
Molina's Arm
on August 17, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Run on it, Lou?
#119
on August 17, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Jason Kendall hopes it does.
Pitch counts
on August 17, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Hill: 71
Looper: 46
Jason Kendall
on August 17, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Can I count that as a caught stealing?
Please?
Pitch counts
on August 17, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Looper 46 through three
Hill 71 through four
NSBB
on August 17, 2007 at 2:23 pm
MODS!
Jason Kendall
on August 17, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Can I also refresh my page faster so I’m not so redundant?
I counted 37 consecutive pitches for strikes that Derrek Lee has looked at.
Viva El Fuckwads
on August 17, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Yadi Molina can throw guys out stealing by turning around and “hiking” the ball to second. He’s so awesome! His tears cure cancer and his cum tastes like honeydew melon!
Jock Jones
on August 17, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I’m hitting almost .300 at home!
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:24 pm
What about Joaquin Andujar? Bake McBride?
Derrek Lee
on August 17, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Time for more standing.
Derrek Lee
on August 17, 2007 at 2:25 pm
I’m just waiting for my pitch.
Might take a while.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I say Lee walks. Unless Looper can throw three strikes. Then he’ll look.
Bat
on August 17, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Why does Lee bring me to the plate?
Mound visit transcript
on August 17, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Looper: What should we throw him?
Molina: Who gives a shit, he never swings.
The half bottle of Gallo chardonnay in the Cardinals dugout
on August 17, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Come back Tony!!! I miss you!! I’m cold!
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 2:30 pm
#147 That was used yesterday.
Tony LaDoucha
on August 17, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I’m trying to make one game into a day-night doubleheader.
The Genius
on August 17, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I’m gonna need a drink after this one.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I’m redundant. I’m redundant.
Dan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:31 pm
It’s fun watching an IBB on mlb gameday.
Fat Kangaroo
on August 17, 2007 at 2:31 pm
You’re intentionally having Braden Looper put another guy on base? Oh, I’m gonna make you pay.
Fat Kangaroo
on August 17, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Or not.
Darryle Ward
on August 17, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I look asian in my headshot photo.
Lance Dickson's Arm
on August 17, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Walking Ramirez to get to the left-handed Ward? Quite disrespectful.
Derrek K. Lee
on August 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I swear on of these days I’m going to make contact with a pitch.
Daryle Ward
on August 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Am I called fat kangaroo because I am fat or because I have a pouch?
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Boy did Daryle make Braden pay for that. Of course, running to first base is about the worse kind of punishment there is according to Daryle.
Daryle Ward
on August 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I’m still fat, too.
The Riot
on August 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Well, SOMEBODY got a hit this inning. Come on bitches. I can’t carry you all on my back.
Fearless prediction
on August 17, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Lee will homer today. Take it to the bank.
Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 2:34 pm
I will throw a pitch that will be homered. Just not to Lee.
#167
on August 17, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Batting practice is over dude.
Andy Pratt
on August 17, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Even **I** could get Derrek Lee out. Pitch the dope low and outside, easy out.
Bank
on August 17, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Lee? Homer? HAHAHAHA!!! That’s good. Ahh hahaha. Seriously? No we can’t accept that. Hahaha…(wiping tears from eyes). Who told you to take that here? Who? Fearless Who? Ha ha ha… That’s a good. One. …heee….sigh…
Next please
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Wow, you can’t really call Yadier the “skinny” Molina brother anymore can you?
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:36 pm
I hate that little smirk on Molina’s face.
Lardier Molina
on August 17, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Now THAT’S what you call a nickname!
Molina
on August 17, 2007 at 2:37 pm
You may be Yadi, but I am Yadier!
Cory Lidle
on August 17, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Christ, *I* could get Lee out right now.
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 2:37 pm
I’m a big fan of full counts. Love them.
Putaway pitch
on August 17, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Rich Hill does not have one. Amazing for a guy with a plus curveball.
LaRussa
on August 17, 2007 at 2:39 pm
And now Looper can bunt? See?
Annoying fake bunt then bunt anyway
on August 17, 2007 at 2:39 pm
The Cardinals are big on doing pointless things that are just sad.
Lardier Molina
on August 17, 2007 at 2:39 pm
I’m just not swinging at the curve ball. I’m waiting on fastballs and thats it.
Turtle from Entourage
on August 17, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Yadier Molina looks like a less athletic version of me.
Dan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Gameday just said that there was a pickoff attempt on Lardier. Seriously? Isn’t he like the slowest guy in the league? Why?
The Genius
on August 17, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I enjoy turning a routine sac bunt chance into a strikeout by forcing my pitchers to bunt while doing jumping jacks.
Dan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:41 pm
14″ break on that curve ball. Is that a lot? It sounds like a lot.
Miguel Cabrera
on August 17, 2007 at 2:42 pm
If you’re talking about fat guys, don’t forget about me!
Stubby Clapp
on August 17, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Brendan Ryan sucks.
The Genius
on August 17, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I’m devilishly clever. I bat my pitchers 8th. Mwuhahahahaaa!
And I know something you do not know.
I am not left handed!
Jock Jones
on August 17, 2007 at 2:43 pm
I left my pose indented in the ivory out there. You’re welcome.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Jacque deserves a pat on the back for that one.
Everybody
on August 17, 2007 at 2:43 pm
We love Jock Jones
Jock Cousteau
on August 17, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I love jock jones too!
Ivory
on August 17, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I have no idea where I am located in Wrigley.
In the event of a tie
on August 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Today’s game will be settled by a best two of three:
A 100 yard dash between Yadi Molina and Daryle Ward
A pie eating contest between Mike Fontenot and Davey Eckstein
Higher t-cell count between Jim Edmonds and Mark DeRosa
The Cubs have a huge edge in one of those.
JP
on August 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I do. You’re in Wrigley Field where I get that wiggily feel.
Ivory
on August 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I’m located along the sides of the ivy tower.
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
#193, ask Juan Pierre.
Juan Pierre
on August 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Dude, you know where the ivory is. Just look.
Shit is itchy, too.
Wiggly Field
on August 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I’m a dog walking park on Sheffield(?)
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:46 pm
I’d actually have more respect for Jock if he’d responded to the standing O over by the dugout by flipping off the fans.
Dan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I’d have more respect for Jacque Jones if he was better at baseball.
Dick Mountain
on August 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm
It looks like I showed up to pitch today. Unfortunately the Cubs’ offense hasn’t amounted to a mole hill.
Rick Ankiel
on August 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I flipped off some guy in the QC. Do I get respect?
Jaques-ernaut
on August 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm
You silly bitches have nothing on me!
Ginger Murton
on August 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Watch me foul one into the dugout taking out the pitcher and our shortstop.
Then, watch me try it again on the next pitch!
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Nope, 203, and we’re adding a month to daddy’s sentence.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Ludwick’s got the unnecessary Edmonds dive down pretty well.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm
I see Ludwick has been taking fielding tips from Lassie.
Offense
on August 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm
I am really not a fan of Rich Hill so I rarely show up when he’s pitching.
EAS
on August 17, 2007 at 2:49 pm
WTF is a Ludwick?
Mike Fontenot
on August 17, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I look like a hobbit in my Gameday photo
France
on August 17, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Many people believe the best ball players come from South America. The Cubs know they come from me.
Lassie
on August 17, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Damn you, Ludwick! You could have had a web gem for that one. I say never stay on your feet when you can get it done on your stomach!
Fearless Prediction
on August 17, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Laugh now and believe me later fuckernauts.
Pitcher's duel
on August 17, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I am more fun to watch on gamecast.
Cubs Juggernaut Offense
on August 17, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Strap on your seatbelts people, and hang on for a wild ride!
Edmonds
on August 17, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Waist-high balls?
I handle ’em with aplomb.
The Stick
on August 17, 2007 at 2:53 pm
On days like today the Cubs usually end up getting the short end of me.
I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.
Jim Edmonds Jokes
on August 17, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Are the straw that stirrs the drink at a desipio gamecast.
Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 2:55 pm
How in the fuck can these morans get only 1 hit off of my 5+ era-having in 5 innings?
Ryan Theriot and Brendan Ryan
on August 17, 2007 at 2:55 pm
We have two-thirds of the hits today.
Cubs offense
on August 17, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Making shit pitchers look like Cy FUCKING Young since 1876!!!
Most days
on August 17, 2007 at 2:56 pm
The Cubs end up getting the short end on me.
Outs
on August 17, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Mmmmm…..I am hogging all the at-bats today…..
Al Pujols
on August 17, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Hill’s got the best curveball I’ve seen since Orville Overall.
Ryan Theriot
on August 17, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Anybody else enjoy me skittering across the tarp going after that foul ball?
CJG
on August 17, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Geez Hill’s curveball must be unbelievable today (watching on ESPN gamecast so all I see is all these strikeouts)
Last Curve To Poo Holes
on August 17, 2007 at 2:59 pm
15.1″ break.
Cub Fan in PA
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
So, how does Braden Looper have a Big Z like ERA during day games?
KD
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
My favorite part of the game so far:
Molina and Looper out, Ryant gets a hit, Eckstein walks. Ludwick up, Cards on 1st and 2nd, two out.
Brenly starts up a bit about how, if the Cards had the pitcher hitting 9th and Ryan gotten a single while hitting in the 8th spot, the pitcher could have sac’d him over to second base. Then, with Eckstein walking at the 1 spot, the Cards would have …
oh, wait.
1st and 2nd, with two out.
KD
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
My second favorite part was Albert Pujols’ home run.
Braden Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
I am 6-0 with a 1.84 ERA in day games.
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Fuck you, Albert. I hope you enjoyed the show at home plate.
morpheus
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
$%&$*@%*$$^ Grandpujols
Poo Holes
on August 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm
TOMA!
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Gotta love the 84 MPH fastball to Al. The one guy in the lineup you can afford to walk.
Yikes
on August 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I feel like A-pu’s HR will sort of be like the HR in that Padres game where Z was destroying but the Cubs couldn’t score a run…and lost 1-0…..
One Run
on August 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
That’s probably all it will take today. Fucking Cardinals.
morpheus
on August 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
No way is he younger than 40.
Ballgame
on August 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I am over.
Pitch Selection
on August 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
albert pujols. Straight, Slow fastball up in the zone. PERFECT!!!
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Mommy!
Juan Interception
on August 17, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Heyo!
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I’m going deep to lead off the inning. All will be well. I’ve been saving up for this one.
Al Pujols
on August 17, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I enjoy touching men. I fielded that ball with my left foot about two inches from first but I reached to to hug Rich anyway. Nice pecs.
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I make one mistake in six innings, giving up a run on three hits, and I’m “soiling myself.” Go to hell, all of you.
Jock
on August 17, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Get ready to rock out with your Jock out.
Here comes the pose. Looper’s just my kind of bum.
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Heh heh. Sweet sac bunt huh? Heh. They didn’t even try to throw to second–huh? Oh wait.
One mistake
on August 17, 2007 at 3:05 pm
You aren’t allowed me when you’re talking about Cubs fans.
The Riot
on August 17, 2007 at 3:05 pm
HAHA! Shorty, Eckstein! I would have caught that one!
BC
on August 17, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Hill obviously threw a bad pitch but that was even worse of a pitch selection idea from Kendall. 2-2 with two outs and nobody on against Pujols, the LAST pitch you even call for in that spot is an inside fastball. Go with the soft stuff away, if you walk the guy you have Juan “Haven’t Played In A Week” Encarnacion batting…
The Riot
on August 17, 2007 at 3:06 pm
I’m a one man offensive juggernaut!
The Pose!
on August 17, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Rarely seen. Always enjoyed!
Jock Jones Pose
on August 17, 2007 at 3:08 pm
For the Lead!
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Now that’s how you pose at the plate, Albert. The JJP is in effect.
therick711
on August 17, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Jones really should take some time to admire his HR’s.
Redbeard
on August 17, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Jock freakin’ Jones folks.
Go Slaky’s Positive!
Jock Jones
on August 17, 2007 at 3:08 pm
That’s MV-Jock to you, bitches!
You’re going to be kissing my ass for decades when I’m through with you.
Dan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I have more respect for Jock Jones.
Jacque Jones
on August 17, 2007 at 3:09 pm
You guys still hate me?
Punxatawney Phil
on August 17, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Jock did what?
Six more weeks of winter!
Jaques-ernaut
on August 17, 2007 at 3:10 pm
You bitches can’t stop me!
Desipiots everywhere
on August 17, 2007 at 3:10 pm
We’ve been behind Jock…I mean Jacques the whole time. Screw those who doubted.
therick711
on August 17, 2007 at 3:10 pm
You must pitch to our husky third baseman now, Loopy!
D-Lee
on August 17, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Suck it.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:10 pm
You know, I’ve always liked Jock.
Oh, who am I kidding…
Derek
on August 17, 2007 at 3:10 pm
See, sometimes it pays off to keep the bat on your shoulder.
E-ramis
on August 17, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I just missed a first pitch meatball that I should have hit to South Bend.
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I think my bunt really rattled Looper.
Looper
on August 17, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I’m losing my command.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:12 pm
If Daryle somehow gets on, is it too early for the Kangaroo?
Rich Hill
on August 17, 2007 at 3:12 pm
You could say “I threw him for a Looper”, a hyuk yuk yuk.
Been away from my desk most of the afternoon. I came back and saw that Poo Holes homered. Ugh. Then I left again.
Got a fine call from Fork telling me the “new guy†had gone yard, 2-1.
He also brought up a good point.
I shoulda traded Ohman a long time ago.
Woo hoo.
Daryle Ward
on August 17, 2007 at 3:14 pm
“doubles on a soft ground ball to left fielder Ryan Ludwick.”
Down the 3B line?
Fat Kangaroo
on August 17, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Hop! Hop!
Pat Hughes
on August 17, 2007 at 3:14 pm
And there’s a called strike at the ankles to Murton.
The Marmot
on August 17, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Am I coming in or is Lou gonna wait for Rich to get in trouble?
Baby Houseman
on August 17, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Penny’s in trouble, but not from Johnny.
Dick Mountain
on August 17, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I’m at 107 pitches. Another 40 pitch inning anyone?
Dusty Baker
on August 17, 2007 at 3:18 pm
107? You’re just getting warmed up, Dude.
Plus Curveball
on August 17, 2007 at 3:18 pm
What the hell am I?
Gale Sayers
on August 17, 2007 at 3:19 pm
18 inches of daylight, that’s all I need.
And a new knee.
“Take me out to the ball…”
Nuke Laloosh
on August 17, 2007 at 3:20 pm
That’s a curveball, only better, 286.
Gale Sayers
on August 17, 2007 at 3:20 pm
I look like I can take the ball 20+ times a game
Chip Caray
on August 17, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Danger here, Cubbies fans. The vaunted St. Louis bullpen has been activated!
DPappy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:21 pm
I guess Dick Mountain really showed up today. He pony’d up pretty good there. Of course, he was facing a gimp, a dog molester, and that guy from Deliverance.
Gale Sayers
on August 17, 2007 at 3:21 pm
I have no rhythm.
And yet, I’m still one of the best stretch singers ever.
Gale Sayers
on August 17, 2007 at 3:21 pm
…and when you hit your knees tonight, I want you to love Jock Jones, too.
123....
on August 17, 2007 at 3:22 pm
…did you see me?!!
#279
on August 17, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Over the 3B bag and the bullpen mound
therick711
on August 17, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Gale Sayers will now debate Eric Dickerson on the merits of the model penal code.
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Gale’s a lefty? Who knew?
CJG
on August 17, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Wow, Rich is just mowing them down. I’d like to see a few insurance runs and then hand it over to the Marmot and…..dare I say Dempster for the save??
Mike Fontenot
on August 17, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Every time we lead off an inning with a bad drag bunt we score two runs.
It’s science.
Ryan Dempster
on August 17, 2007 at 3:25 pm
You might want to add 3-4 more on the board before you bring me in.
Ron Ce
on August 17, 2007 at 3:25 pm
This will be quikc.
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Ronny Cedeno? This better be really fucking good.
Ron Ce
on August 17, 2007 at 3:26 pm
I’m getting on first so I can duplicate my feat from April when I was out going from first to second on a walk.
therick711
on August 17, 2007 at 3:26 pm
3-1? better swing no matter what
The Ocho
on August 17, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Who’s pitching the eighth, Marmot or Big Bob?
I have a hunch that Lou’s going to finish this with those two and not use Dempster at all.
EAS
on August 17, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Can someone give me an actual good reason why Cedeno is on the major league roster? Please?
Fork
on August 17, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Anyone else wanna see the Marmot with the 2-inning save?
Gale Sayers
on August 17, 2007 at 3:27 pm
These goddamn kids today, with their hair and their clothes…
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Ronny Cedeno. Out like a fart. Silent. Smells like shit.
Ron Ce
on August 17, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Worship me ogdens!!!
Ronny Cedeno
on August 17, 2007 at 3:28 pm
I hit .360 in AAA!
Andy
on August 17, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Did you see the shot of the old guy with the binoculars. He pulled them away from his face and his glasses were thicker than the binoculars.
Big Spot Bob
on August 17, 2007 at 3:29 pm
The eighth is mine. The ninth? Let’s worry about that when we get there.
.158
on August 17, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Apparetnly I’m the MLE for a PCL .360
NSBB
on August 17, 2007 at 3:30 pm
That out Ronny made was hit harder than any of Theriot’s hits. Ronny should be playing!
Nino Devino
on August 17, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I’m in!
Wrigley Field Security
on August 17, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Shit! Howry’s coming in. Get ready, boys.
EAS
on August 17, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Chris Duncan looks like an asshole.
Ron Santo
on August 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Pat, it says there that Chris Duncan’s sister Shelley plays for the Yankees.
VORPMaster
on August 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Ronny should be starting at third instead of Ramirez. In fact, he should be playing every position.
Hey!
on August 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm
#315. Eat shit and die dick!
Clifford
on August 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Lou and Jim, as soon as I’m back can you send that piece of shit Cedeno back to Iowa? Can you do that for a nigga?
Bob Howry
on August 17, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Sit down Shelley, or Christine or whichever Duncan girl you are.
Chris Duncan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm
My brother Courtney still hates you guys for giving up on him.
berkeleycubfan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm
#318, a puckered reddened one.
Big Spot Bob
on August 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm
This’ll be easy guys.
Dave Duncan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm
In their defense, Chris and Shelley were boys before Mark McGwire started giving them vitamins.
Scrappy Little Fuck Brendan Ryan
on August 17, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Nice fucking scrappy little pop-up bunt.
Observer
on August 17, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Brendan Ryan and David Eckstein look like they just walked out of an AIDS ward.
Scrappy Little Fuck Dave Eckstein
on August 17, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Is that a homer? I hit that really hard. It made it past second base!
Garden Gnome
on August 17, 2007 at 3:33 pm
GRIT-TASTIC!
Rick Ankiel
on August 17, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Will the Cubs fans give me a curtain call after I strike out, here?
BC
on August 17, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I still say they should change that rule, RonCe.
cum dumpster
on August 17, 2007 at 3:34 pm
If bobby gets us through this inning prepare yourselves for the monumental assraping I plan to deliver in the 9th
Lee, you’re a power hitter with a good bat. You should be swinging the bat, not leaving it on your shoulder. Every time you stare at a pitch down and out in the zone, you owe me 20 push-ups.
#374
on August 17, 2007 at 3:47 pm
I guess it is a disease. No way Oden is 21.
Fork
on August 17, 2007 at 3:47 pm
At least DLee’s Ks are facing forward now.
Great hitters in MLB
on August 17, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Derrek Lee? Never heard of him.
Chuck
on August 17, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Why am I so annoying? Somebody should punch me on my face.
I think the Cubs climbing into first place will make everyone in the NFL get tired of hearing about Chicago. That means the Chargers, who have had more quarterbacks run for president than the Bears, will beat up on them because they’re still pissed Hendry gave the Padres Barrett.
And the Packers will understand that their fans will need a sweep of the Bears to make up for their woeful collapse at the end of the season. And the Lions will take it out on the Bears too,
This first place thing will have disastrous effects on the Illini. All these guys Weber should be recruiting will be busy following baseball. And Bruce Weber will be given some false sense of…
Aw, I should just shut up.
Hell
on August 17, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Jacque Jones, Bob Howry and Ryan Dempster all played key roles in a Cubs win?
Sure is getting cold around here.
Chuck
on August 17, 2007 at 3:57 pm
So what they won? They only won by one run. Takes a lot to impress me.
Lost in all the nicknames and 400+ comments....
on August 17, 2007 at 3:59 pm
….this was an awesome freaking game! Hill with the W, Jacque with the go-ahead 2-run bomb and Dempster with the save.
Wow that’s a great way to start a weekend (oh wait, one more hour of work….)
Douchebag
on August 17, 2007 at 3:59 pm
A picture of Chuck is next to me in the dictionary
Chuck
on August 17, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I pound on my topic du jour like a retard pounds on a drum.
Hey Chuck
on August 17, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Go take a leaping froggy fuck while spinning a dead chicken over your head!
That would impress me!!
Cubs Win!
on August 17, 2007 at 4:02 pm
USA! USA! USA!
420 Posts
on August 17, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Am I a record?
Whoever is raggng on Chuck in post after post
on August 17, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I’m a douche
new guy?
on August 17, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Fork – Who is the new guy with the gold glove?
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 4:10 pm
I missed all the exciting stuff. Damn this job of mine. Who cares I guess. W flag is flying in Wrigleyville today. I love these Cubbies 39% more when they are beating the Tards.
Hey 421
on August 17, 2007 at 4:10 pm
It’s probably Chuck. Now that the douchebag spotlight is on BC, he is probably just trying to creat something.
Steve Goodwin
on August 17, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Goooooo! Hey Chicago Whaddaya Say! Cubs Are Gonna Win Today!
A Douche
on August 17, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Is not a bad thing. It actually goes into something wonderful that you #421 have not managed to do yet in your sorry life. A big smelly turd is what you are my friend.
427
on August 17, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Haven’t been around long, but this seems like a ton of posts. Is this a Desipiots record?
There is only one douchetard
on August 17, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Too many new punks on here. Shut the hell up. Post record? Puh-leeze.
FYC.
G-Man-G
on August 17, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Thank you all for making my horrifically slow day that much quicker…..and funnier. Go Cubbies.
Jumanji
on August 17, 2007 at 4:41 pm
What do I have to do with anything, 436?
Apex
on August 17, 2007 at 4:45 pm
got salad?
Jacque
on August 17, 2007 at 4:48 pm
How do you like me now, bitches?
440
on August 17, 2007 at 4:54 pm
This is what it’s like to be Barry Bonds. The next one is always a new record, bitches.
test
on August 17, 2007 at 6:11 pm
test
record
on August 17, 2007 at 7:48 pm
?
...in your face!
on August 17, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Milwaukee.
Chuck
on August 18, 2007 at 5:02 am
really deserved all the hate he got. I read a comment of his made in earnest during this about benching Lee for the rest of the season. I mean hyperbole is one thing but when your hyperbole is so much dumber than everyone else’s, you’re a douche. Chuck is a douche.
The Riot, SS
Le Jock, CF
Who-Me? 1B
Pancakes, 3B
Fat Kangaroo, RF
The Bane of Apex, LF
Eckstein, 2B
Serial Killer, C
Dick Mountain / Pussy Hill, P
Fuck you Apex, gonna get another couple of hits today to piss you off for making everyone on this site hate me.
Has anyone seen my dumbass pic on Cubs.com for the days pitching matchup? Did you notice I look like a real cave-dwelling, knuckle-dragging moran that could be related to the Missing Link?
#3. I have now and you are correct. He looks like a bottom feeder at best. Thanks for the live today, you are saving me as I have absolutely nothing to do today except look at gamecast.
Of course, Hill looks like a 12 year old cheesing for gramma-cam.
Think Big Z decided he had better sign before he blows another game and another million?
So what’s wrong with DeRosa? I only caught the last part of the scintillating Santo-Piniella show and Lou said he could pinch hit, but didn’t expect him to play in the field today.
I’m such a bad recruiter I couldn’t sell a glass of water to someone walking in the Sahara…
Cue mouthbreathing shot.
Piniella probably feels as if he should rest DeRosa after all the running he did last night. Good call putting the hot bat on the bench. Of course all this means is that I have no idea.
We’re going to finish this series in first place, because Josh Hancock is helping us out from heaven! Yay, JH 32!
You know, when he died, a tragedy of monumental proportions, it was only because God needed a righty in his bullpen of angels who could get the big outs. That was our Josh!
Hey #10. Go fuck yourself.
Adam Dunn!
I have no point, I just like to type that.
#10 Do you really believe all that? I mean are you dipping into the meth with a Lik-Em stick?
I was just reading about Carlos Zambrano’s “burning desire to remain a Cub.”
I have a burning desire for some Valtrex.
BREEEEVE!!!
To counter the angelic presence of Josh Hancock, Lou Piniella has offered to let Jason Kendall kill Will Ohman.
WO 13!
Is how I feel about the chances of the Cubs coming out of this series alive.
Sure, I’ve been to Michael Jackson’s for a sleepover.
Uncle Dave, do our eyes look more yellow than yesterday?
You know Ken Doll wears that mask for the same reason Hannibal Lecter has to wear his. Ever see anybody sitting next to this guy? Ever seen his shadow?
Harumph harumph harumph harumph harumph Cubs suck harumph harumph harumph harumph losers harumph harumph harumph I had no harumphin’ idea that the harumph hooker was a tranny harumph.
Gameday says I’m batting 8th today.
Holy Johnny Cakes!
Rick Ankiel is not in the lineup today. It’s visitor’s day at the prison. I forget if he’s visiting his dad or his brother.
Daryle Ward is covering a lot of ground in right field.
Standing still.
I’ve got a million of ’em.
#18, that’s classic.
Hey guys! Just checking in. What a wild race you’ve got there in the NL Comedy Central! With the Raging Redbirds and the Charging Cubbies locking horns for four big ones in Chi-Town! I’m excited. The Cubs really had their hittin’ shoes on yesterday. I gotta tell you that was great. Yes, I’m a douche.
If Eckstein is going to pull that “I’m not trying to get a hit, just trying to foul off some balls” little Dick Hill needs to just bounce one off the little dwarf’s skull.
Len just said DeRosa had a shot in the hip. I guess he decided to cap off his career day with some quail hunting.
I think Chip Caray’s eyebrows just took a swing at me.
Chip, shut the fuck up.
Uncle Lou says I got a shot in the hip yesterday, that’s why I’m not in the lineup.
I’m still available for all the fatties after the game however. Do the Fucktards also have the Fattest Female Fans in baseball?
Nice start. The ball doesn’t leave the infield.
1 2 3! Whodathunkit?
It’s obvious the Cubs are starting three lefties in this series because they are afraid of Rick Ankiel.
I have a better avg than the guy in the 3 hole.
In 11 pitches I’ve thrown one legit strike. Thanks, Cubs!
Braden, you’ll have to thank Angel Hernandez as well… that last pitch to Lee was not a strike.
Derrek Lee has to lead the world in number of at bats where he never swings at a pitch. Guh.
GEEEEEZUS, Lee. Quit staring at that SHIT for strike 3! They’ve been calling it on you for FOUR fucking months. START SWINGING, DICKHEAD!
Speaking of which,
BRADEN HUNGRY. ME PAINT ON CAVES.
I’ll have some speaks later with Angel Hernandez.
Guys, I have work to do. Please stop distracting me!
Here’s how bad the outfield is today. I’m actually hoping the ball is hit to Jock.
Wow.
Scott is Rolen’ Rolen’ Rolen’…back to the dugout!
Is it possible for the cubs to start a slower outfield? I’m glad the fat kangaroo covers alot of ground standing still because no one else does.
Chin music to Lassie. Nice job, Rich. He needs to pitch with this kind of confidence every game.
Rich saw how many strikeouts Koyie got yesterday and decide the wrong Hill was getting all the Ks.
Edmonds looked good in that at bat.
Six pitches, all curveballs. One knocked him on his ass, two he missed completely and the one he struck out on bounced about four feet in front of the plate.
Nice.
^ He was also given an extra strike.
If you connect all the dots that the pitches make on gameday you get nothing special. I was hoping for a penguin.
Remember when Rich set me down during that one Brewers game? Then set down like the next four after that?
Yeah that’d be nice to see.
Siegfried & Roy just beat me to the headlines of BGay.com. Damnit!
#47, even slower than us? (Matthews-Mumphrey-Moreland from ’86)
Walk it off Pancho.
I guess they could field the 3M outfield and they would definitely be slower now, but I don’t know if we did a fantasy Outfield in their prime relay race that they would be slower. I do know it would take a long time to find out.
3M makes Post-it Notes.
Murton’s not “slow” in the outfield. The problem is that he usually runs the wrong way for the first 10 feet or so.
Aren’t they part of the power at Wrigley Field #55?
I think slow refers to our thought processes first and fore….what was I saying?
Thanks, #60. We know now how well that sponsorship money is being spent.
4H is part of the fan base for the Tards.
Angel’s strike zone sucks – Edmonds got 4 strikes, and strike 2 to Ward was not even close.
Are they filming a remake of Deliverance at Wrigley? No. It’s just Looper on the mound.
We bring children and livestock together.
I’d explain why I’m hitting the pitcher ninth, but none of you would understand anyway. Well, one guy in Hobart might.
Said the ball flew right at Ward… You think he’s big enough to have some gravitational pull action going on?
Lou should wait for Looper to finish his at bat, then go and complain that the Cardinals have hit out of order. When the umps tell him that’s the order LaRussa set he can demand they call Ryan out because Tony’s order is “stupid.”
That’ll work, right?
I’d explain why I left the word “not” out of my last post in front of the word hitting, but none of you would understand anyway.
Brilliant.
I’m a lawyer. I passed the bar back in the late ’70s. Of course, that’s the last time I passed a bar.
Hey, I’ll be here all weekend!
So, LaRooosa now has a runner on first with two outs instead of having a runner on first with one out and the pitcher to bunt him over. Brilliant.
Rich Hill is gonna shit me.
My sphincter is beginning to tighten!
A pennant race is no place for me and my IBS!
I was how many Rich set down until the hit. Now the wheels had better not come off….
Chuck,
Don’t you dare challenge the brilliance of Tony La Russa. Ever.
Peon.
I’m the cure for any rally!
Personally, I love RaLoser’s lineup.
Here’s a high drive to right and Ward is under it, it is beginning to orbit him and he’s got it for the final out.
Nice job, Rich. Your fresh diaper is on the bench next to your tampons.
Here come the big bats!!!
You should have seen before the game when Angel Pagan was explaining to Felix Pie how the Fat Kangaroo works. Felix just kept shaking his head saying, “Ain’t no way I’m getting in that.”
Not the best thing in life, but next to it.
I really like that little Fontenot. My favorite font is Arial.
Wow, David Eckstein is small. What a freak. What time do the adults play?
I like not being the smallest guy on the field.
I’ll kill you
That’s how long before the pitch that Angel Hernandez decides if it’s a strike or a ball.
11 batters faced and 57 pitches? Holy Cow! (tm Phil Rizzuto without acknowledgement to Harry Caray.)
Do we call ourselves the Luddites?
Don’t worry Chuck. If Richie gets tired, I’ve got this!
I had to die to get mentioned here. So did JH. Ken Doll is happy.
Our reference went way over everyone’s heads.
I miss the Air and Water Show. I always broke out that “It’s plane as day!” jokes.
Those are good.
Looper has a no hitter going?
I always figured Cardinals fans as a gaggle of progress inhibiting textile workers.
I’m both wide and narrow, High and Low. What am I?
Cubs won’t get any.
That’s no way to talk about Tards #96. Where’s your PC?
Fuck you #98.
Owned by the Cubs!
God, I hate Angel Hernandez. He can’t make up his mind where the strike zone is. Right now, it sure isn’t going the Cubs way.
I am the textbook definition of awful.
I too old for dis shit mang.
Four strikes right down the middle? thanks Rich.
How awful did Murton look fielding that ball?
I suck.
Scott Rolen’s a cheater. Haw-hah!
How do you like me now, female doges?
…but at least I got the interference call right.
Hot damn, Hernandez does something right. Pujols tries to steal second but Rolen stepped in front of Kendall after striking out. Pujols called out on the interference.
Someone interfered with me once. The result was a double homicide, I mean twin killing, I mean double play.
106.
What just happened. Gamecast wasn’t clear.
I won’t have some speaks with the ump after that call. WOOOOOOO!!!!
I’m still fat.
And suspended! Hah!
Rolen’s weird. He doesn’t like it when a sweaty man takes him from behind and punches him in the back.
So does that go down as a CS for Poo-hole?
Anybody?
I love The Riot.
There goes the no hitter.
And 119, I believe Pujols is ejected on the play because one of his teammates tried to cheat for him. Rolen is ejected, too, and so is Ken Oberkfell and Lonnie Smith just for the hell of it.
Run on it, Lou?
Jason Kendall hopes it does.
Hill: 71
Looper: 46
Can I count that as a caught stealing?
Please?
Looper 46 through three
Hill 71 through four
MODS!
Can I also refresh my page faster so I’m not so redundant?
Woof.
Would that be 3 CS for Ken Doll.
I counted 37 consecutive pitches for strikes that Derrek Lee has looked at.
Yadi Molina can throw guys out stealing by turning around and “hiking” the ball to second. He’s so awesome! His tears cure cancer and his cum tastes like honeydew melon!
I’m hitting almost .300 at home!
What about Joaquin Andujar? Bake McBride?
Time for more standing.
I’m just waiting for my pitch.
Might take a while.
I say Lee walks. Unless Looper can throw three strikes. Then he’ll look.
Why does Lee bring me to the plate?
Looper: What should we throw him?
Molina: Who gives a shit, he never swings.
At some point, the smile on D Lee’s picture is going to have to go away.
I hit one!
Foul.
Len said that Kendall gets credit for the put-out on Pujols. He didn’t say if it’s credited as a CS though.
Speaks Spanish AND Caveman!
We love Derrek so much. He doesn’t try to break us by swinging at those pitches.
That’s progress, right? A swinging strike.
Also, how fucking predictable is it that the Cardinals would argue interference on the next stolen base?
Fuck them.
Is a swinging strike an improvement?
I think I caught my daughters eye disease.
Tony’s trying to get tossed. He’s just such a cock.
Sit down, and shut up, Tony.
D Lee needs some bench time. Like 42 games worth.
FOUL! That joke has been recycled from yesterday!
Come back Tony!!! I miss you!! I’m cold!
#147 That was used yesterday.
I’m trying to make one game into a day-night doubleheader.
I’m gonna need a drink after this one.
I’m redundant. I’m redundant.
It’s fun watching an IBB on mlb gameday.
You’re intentionally having Braden Looper put another guy on base? Oh, I’m gonna make you pay.
Or not.
I look asian in my headshot photo.
Walking Ramirez to get to the left-handed Ward? Quite disrespectful.
I swear on of these days I’m going to make contact with a pitch.
Am I called fat kangaroo because I am fat or because I have a pouch?
Boy did Daryle make Braden pay for that. Of course, running to first base is about the worse kind of punishment there is according to Daryle.
I’m still fat, too.
Well, SOMEBODY got a hit this inning. Come on bitches. I can’t carry you all on my back.
Lee will homer today. Take it to the bank.
I will throw a pitch that will be homered. Just not to Lee.
Batting practice is over dude.
Even **I** could get Derrek Lee out. Pitch the dope low and outside, easy out.
Lee? Homer? HAHAHAHA!!! That’s good. Ahh hahaha. Seriously? No we can’t accept that. Hahaha…(wiping tears from eyes). Who told you to take that here? Who? Fearless Who? Ha ha ha… That’s a good. One. …heee….sigh…
Next please
Wow, you can’t really call Yadier the “skinny” Molina brother anymore can you?
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
I hate that little smirk on Molina’s face.
Now THAT’S what you call a nickname!
You may be Yadi, but I am Yadier!
Christ, *I* could get Lee out right now.
I’m a big fan of full counts. Love them.
Rich Hill does not have one. Amazing for a guy with a plus curveball.
And now Looper can bunt? See?
The Cardinals are big on doing pointless things that are just sad.
I’m just not swinging at the curve ball. I’m waiting on fastballs and thats it.
Yadier Molina looks like a less athletic version of me.
Gameday just said that there was a pickoff attempt on Lardier. Seriously? Isn’t he like the slowest guy in the league? Why?
I enjoy turning a routine sac bunt chance into a strikeout by forcing my pitchers to bunt while doing jumping jacks.
14″ break on that curve ball. Is that a lot? It sounds like a lot.
If you’re talking about fat guys, don’t forget about me!
Brendan Ryan sucks.
I’m devilishly clever. I bat my pitchers 8th. Mwuhahahahaaa!
And I know something you do not know.
I am not left handed!
I left my pose indented in the ivory out there. You’re welcome.
Jacque deserves a pat on the back for that one.
We love Jock Jones
I love jock jones too!
I have no idea where I am located in Wrigley.
Today’s game will be settled by a best two of three:
A 100 yard dash between Yadi Molina and Daryle Ward
A pie eating contest between Mike Fontenot and Davey Eckstein
Higher t-cell count between Jim Edmonds and Mark DeRosa
The Cubs have a huge edge in one of those.
I do. You’re in Wrigley Field where I get that wiggily feel.
I’m located along the sides of the ivy tower.
#193, ask Juan Pierre.
Dude, you know where the ivory is. Just look.
Shit is itchy, too.
I’m a dog walking park on Sheffield(?)
I’d actually have more respect for Jock if he’d responded to the standing O over by the dugout by flipping off the fans.
I’d have more respect for Jacque Jones if he was better at baseball.
It looks like I showed up to pitch today. Unfortunately the Cubs’ offense hasn’t amounted to a mole hill.
I flipped off some guy in the QC. Do I get respect?
You silly bitches have nothing on me!
Watch me foul one into the dugout taking out the pitcher and our shortstop.
Then, watch me try it again on the next pitch!
Nope, 203, and we’re adding a month to daddy’s sentence.
Ludwick’s got the unnecessary Edmonds dive down pretty well.
I see Ludwick has been taking fielding tips from Lassie.
I am really not a fan of Rich Hill so I rarely show up when he’s pitching.
WTF is a Ludwick?
I look like a hobbit in my Gameday photo
Many people believe the best ball players come from South America. The Cubs know they come from me.
Damn you, Ludwick! You could have had a web gem for that one. I say never stay on your feet when you can get it done on your stomach!
Laugh now and believe me later fuckernauts.
I am more fun to watch on gamecast.
Strap on your seatbelts people, and hang on for a wild ride!
Waist-high balls?
I handle ’em with aplomb.
On days like today the Cubs usually end up getting the short end of me.
I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.
Are the straw that stirrs the drink at a desipio gamecast.
How in the fuck can these morans get only 1 hit off of my 5+ era-having in 5 innings?
We have two-thirds of the hits today.
Making shit pitchers look like Cy FUCKING Young since 1876!!!
The Cubs end up getting the short end on me.
Mmmmm…..I am hogging all the at-bats today…..
Hill’s got the best curveball I’ve seen since Orville Overall.
Anybody else enjoy me skittering across the tarp going after that foul ball?
Geez Hill’s curveball must be unbelievable today (watching on ESPN gamecast so all I see is all these strikeouts)
15.1″ break.
So, how does Braden Looper have a Big Z like ERA during day games?
My favorite part of the game so far:
Molina and Looper out, Ryant gets a hit, Eckstein walks. Ludwick up, Cards on 1st and 2nd, two out.
Brenly starts up a bit about how, if the Cards had the pitcher hitting 9th and Ryan gotten a single while hitting in the 8th spot, the pitcher could have sac’d him over to second base. Then, with Eckstein walking at the 1 spot, the Cards would have …
oh, wait.
1st and 2nd, with two out.
My second favorite part was Albert Pujols’ home run.
I am 6-0 with a 1.84 ERA in day games.
Fuck you, Albert. I hope you enjoyed the show at home plate.
$%&$*@%*$$^ Grandpujols
TOMA!
Gotta love the 84 MPH fastball to Al. The one guy in the lineup you can afford to walk.
I feel like A-pu’s HR will sort of be like the HR in that Padres game where Z was destroying but the Cubs couldn’t score a run…and lost 1-0…..
That’s probably all it will take today. Fucking Cardinals.
No way is he younger than 40.
I am over.
albert pujols. Straight, Slow fastball up in the zone. PERFECT!!!
Mommy!
Heyo!
I’m going deep to lead off the inning. All will be well. I’ve been saving up for this one.
I enjoy touching men. I fielded that ball with my left foot about two inches from first but I reached to to hug Rich anyway. Nice pecs.
I make one mistake in six innings, giving up a run on three hits, and I’m “soiling myself.” Go to hell, all of you.
Get ready to rock out with your Jock out.
Here comes the pose. Looper’s just my kind of bum.
Heh heh. Sweet sac bunt huh? Heh. They didn’t even try to throw to second–huh? Oh wait.
You aren’t allowed me when you’re talking about Cubs fans.
HAHA! Shorty, Eckstein! I would have caught that one!
Hill obviously threw a bad pitch but that was even worse of a pitch selection idea from Kendall. 2-2 with two outs and nobody on against Pujols, the LAST pitch you even call for in that spot is an inside fastball. Go with the soft stuff away, if you walk the guy you have Juan “Haven’t Played In A Week” Encarnacion batting…
I’m a one man offensive juggernaut!
Rarely seen. Always enjoyed!
For the Lead!
Now that’s how you pose at the plate, Albert. The JJP is in effect.
Jones really should take some time to admire his HR’s.
Jock freakin’ Jones folks.
Go Slaky’s Positive!
That’s MV-Jock to you, bitches!
You’re going to be kissing my ass for decades when I’m through with you.
I have more respect for Jock Jones.
You guys still hate me?
Jock did what?
Six more weeks of winter!
You bitches can’t stop me!
We’ve been behind Jock…I mean Jacques the whole time. Screw those who doubted.
You must pitch to our husky third baseman now, Loopy!
Suck it.
You know, I’ve always liked Jock.
Oh, who am I kidding…
See, sometimes it pays off to keep the bat on your shoulder.
I just missed a first pitch meatball that I should have hit to South Bend.
I think my bunt really rattled Looper.
I’m losing my command.
If Daryle somehow gets on, is it too early for the Kangaroo?
You could say “I threw him for a Looper”, a hyuk yuk yuk.
Was it hit hard?
I told you. I AM NOT getting IN there.
Chingn chone chen!!!
where’s my inhaler?
Right on the screws 273. Just right at the RF.
Been away from my desk most of the afternoon. I came back and saw that Poo Holes homered. Ugh. Then I left again.
Got a fine call from Fork telling me the “new guy†had gone yard, 2-1.
He also brought up a good point.
I shoulda traded Ohman a long time ago.
Woo hoo.
“doubles on a soft ground ball to left fielder Ryan Ludwick.”
Down the 3B line?
Hop! Hop!
And there’s a called strike at the ankles to Murton.
Am I coming in or is Lou gonna wait for Rich to get in trouble?
Penny’s in trouble, but not from Johnny.
I’m at 107 pitches. Another 40 pitch inning anyone?
107? You’re just getting warmed up, Dude.
What the hell am I?
18 inches of daylight, that’s all I need.
And a new knee.
“Take me out to the ball…”
That’s a curveball, only better, 286.
I look like I can take the ball 20+ times a game
Danger here, Cubbies fans. The vaunted St. Louis bullpen has been activated!
I guess Dick Mountain really showed up today. He pony’d up pretty good there. Of course, he was facing a gimp, a dog molester, and that guy from Deliverance.
I have no rhythm.
And yet, I’m still one of the best stretch singers ever.
…and when you hit your knees tonight, I want you to love Jock Jones, too.
…did you see me?!!
Over the 3B bag and the bullpen mound
Gale Sayers will now debate Eric Dickerson on the merits of the model penal code.
Gale’s a lefty? Who knew?
Wow, Rich is just mowing them down. I’d like to see a few insurance runs and then hand it over to the Marmot and…..dare I say Dempster for the save??
Every time we lead off an inning with a bad drag bunt we score two runs.
It’s science.
You might want to add 3-4 more on the board before you bring me in.
This will be quikc.
Ronny Cedeno? This better be really fucking good.
I’m getting on first so I can duplicate my feat from April when I was out going from first to second on a walk.
3-1? better swing no matter what
Who’s pitching the eighth, Marmot or Big Bob?
I have a hunch that Lou’s going to finish this with those two and not use Dempster at all.
Can someone give me an actual good reason why Cedeno is on the major league roster? Please?
Anyone else wanna see the Marmot with the 2-inning save?
These goddamn kids today, with their hair and their clothes…
Ronny Cedeno. Out like a fart. Silent. Smells like shit.
Worship me ogdens!!!
I hit .360 in AAA!
Did you see the shot of the old guy with the binoculars. He pulled them away from his face and his glasses were thicker than the binoculars.
The eighth is mine. The ninth? Let’s worry about that when we get there.
Apparetnly I’m the MLE for a PCL .360
That out Ronny made was hit harder than any of Theriot’s hits. Ronny should be playing!
I’m in!
Shit! Howry’s coming in. Get ready, boys.
Chris Duncan looks like an asshole.
Pat, it says there that Chris Duncan’s sister Shelley plays for the Yankees.
Ronny should be starting at third instead of Ramirez. In fact, he should be playing every position.
#315. Eat shit and die dick!
Lou and Jim, as soon as I’m back can you send that piece of shit Cedeno back to Iowa? Can you do that for a nigga?
Sit down Shelley, or Christine or whichever Duncan girl you are.
My brother Courtney still hates you guys for giving up on him.
#318, a puckered reddened one.
This’ll be easy guys.
In their defense, Chris and Shelley were boys before Mark McGwire started giving them vitamins.
Nice fucking scrappy little pop-up bunt.
Brendan Ryan and David Eckstein look like they just walked out of an AIDS ward.
Is that a homer? I hit that really hard. It made it past second base!
GRIT-TASTIC!
Will the Cubs fans give me a curtain call after I strike out, here?
I still say they should change that rule, RonCe.
If bobby gets us through this inning prepare yourselves for the monumental assraping I plan to deliver in the 9th
This looks like a penis in a red hat.
http://images.sportsline.com/images/baseball/mlb/players/60×80/174780.jpg
Screw this Ankiel nonsense. Hit him in the skull and end his career. I’m sick of this story already.
Shouldn’t I be in jail?
You think the Cubs’ hitters read the scouting report on Ankiel so they can tack on some insurance?
Let’s hit Ricki in the skull when Pujols isn’t on deck on a 1-run game, eh?
This is what I am Chuck.
I pitched around Ankiel. I’m gonna git Pujols out there since we know Dempter would give up a homer to him in the ninth.
Don’t worry Cub fans. We’ve got plenty of Rick Ankiel stories and montages ready for tomorrow’s game.
I got this, guys
Dempster loves those impressions. I did my best Rick Ankiel impersonation. Now, for my Ryan Dempster impersonation…
F-U-C-K YOU BOB HOWRY!!!!!
we’re going to sit on waveland
Now I’m gonna pitch around Pujols to get to Rolen.
Then I’m gonna…wait, I might run out of bases, huh?
We also will have a decidedly biased slant towards St. Louis. But you all knew that already.
Uh Oh……
Does anyone see that spot?
This is the fucking ballgame, right here…Howry is facing Grandpujols and nobody is up in the Cubs pen.
No seriously, I got this. Watch.
Had ’em all the way. Trust me, you’re gonna thank me in the ninth.
BIG SPOT BOB, ogdens.
Let the LSU guy handle it Jock-ulation.
Don’t worry, Bobby. I’ve got a spare diaper for ya. Tampons, too.
Rope-a-dope, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry, Howry, not quite. You needed to hang a curveball and let Pujols put that onto Kenmore.
Turn down the TV volume tomorrow. We’ve got your backs.
The Spoon song at the end of the top of the 8th was me.
I love watching games in HD, but nothing beats mid-inning ads with Santo reading copy.
Holy shit. Did you see Pujols when he took his hat off?
First, that’s a Bondsian melon if I’ve ever seen one. Second, that is one old motherfucker.
I need a Big Mac!
You’re OK patient, not a heart attack.
#341 – I laughed when I read that, because it actually made a sick kind of sense. Well, it would have if the pitcher was the Marmot instead of BSB.
That worked out, but I just don’t know why in the world you would not have Marmol ready to face Pujols.
Andy, Pujols is only 26. He would NEVER lie about his age. Maybe he has Greg Oden’s disease.
Wow, Howry got really excited there. Gave a half-assed fist pump and everything.
Are we thinking tomorrow that D-Lee gets moved out of it?
Because, that would make too much sense. Besides, Howry has all those naked pictures of Pinella anyway.
But it’s worth bracing ourselves for the disgust that will be Buck/McCarver fawning all over themselves over the Cardinals….
“say Joe this Cub franchise is full of history…it’s a shame about the 2003 playoffs when everyone’s hopes were dashed”
I’m really feeling the love today.
Still, fuck you guys.
Why am I hated?
Lou will have to call Derrek and ask him if he can move him. It’s tradition and we’re in the earn it business and he has earned it.
366, Old is a disease?
Pujols flying out only emboldens Rolen, Edmonds and the pitcher’s spot to come back and win.
And keep your eye on Pittsburgh. They had a nice comeback win against New York, and only 11 out, they’re not out of it yet.
372, you’re not hated. You are feared.
Dumpster is warming up for the 9th…I’m having a Xanax sundae
Now batting: D Least
It’s coming down to me it looks like!
Lee, you’re a power hitter with a good bat. You should be swinging the bat, not leaving it on your shoulder. Every time you stare at a pitch down and out in the zone, you owe me 20 push-ups.
I guess it is a disease. No way Oden is 21.
At least DLee’s Ks are facing forward now.
Derrek Lee? Never heard of him.
Why am I so annoying? Somebody should punch me on my face.
Tell me you can see Marmol throwing right now.
I’m annoying like your mirror.
Wow. The love is gone for MV-Lee, huh?
Fork, I’ve got some Percocet here. If Dempster blows this one, I don’t think I’ll know about it until Sunday.
Prices just jumped 3,000,000% now that Dumpster is warming up.
Hello.
It’s down to me ogdens.
We’re a fickle bunch.
See? I never miss a chance to prove that I am a jack-ass.
I’m not into scrips – I’m getting my Humboldt County kind bud ready.
You wanna see a cool Rick Ankiel circa 2000 impression? Anyone?
Get em out yall
When was the last time I didn’t go at least 2-0 on the first batter I faced?
Wow he is reeeeeally struggling right now….
Sure hope it’s just a slump.
FIRST PLACE, Ogdens!!! Can I get a Fuck Yeah???
Murton caught it?
Not that it was tough, it’s just it surprises me whenever it happens.
Today was Jock Jones Day. And we didn’t even have to hang him in effigy.
A 1-2-3 save! Who knew?
Taste the happy, Michael!
Taste the happy!
CRANK THAT BITCH!!!
Wow, so that’s what I look like.
Dempster had a 1-2-3 ninth inning? Guess it’s time for me to return.
Fuck the Cardinals. Fuck BC, too.
“Great game today JJ.”
Jock to Len
“Thanks, Bob.”
F#$! Yeah! (won’t leave you hanging Fork). Nice job by Jacque, Dick, Bob and the Dumpster (never thought I would string that sentence together).
Dempster didn’t plop one in his pants…wow!
They just showed the replay of the new guy’s catch…Great. Fucking.Catch.
I sure hope I’m getting paid for this song this year, since I didn’t make jack shit last season.
1. Cubs 62-59
1. Brewers 62-59
3. St. Louser 58-61
Alla-Peanut-Butter-Sandwiches!
*POOF*
Cubs Win
I think the Cubs climbing into first place will make everyone in the NFL get tired of hearing about Chicago. That means the Chargers, who have had more quarterbacks run for president than the Bears, will beat up on them because they’re still pissed Hendry gave the Padres Barrett.
And the Packers will understand that their fans will need a sweep of the Bears to make up for their woeful collapse at the end of the season. And the Lions will take it out on the Bears too,
This first place thing will have disastrous effects on the Illini. All these guys Weber should be recruiting will be busy following baseball. And Bruce Weber will be given some false sense of…
Aw, I should just shut up.
Jacque Jones, Bob Howry and Ryan Dempster all played key roles in a Cubs win?
Sure is getting cold around here.
So what they won? They only won by one run. Takes a lot to impress me.
….this was an awesome freaking game! Hill with the W, Jacque with the go-ahead 2-run bomb and Dempster with the save.
Wow that’s a great way to start a weekend (oh wait, one more hour of work….)
A picture of Chuck is next to me in the dictionary
I pound on my topic du jour like a retard pounds on a drum.
Go take a leaping froggy fuck while spinning a dead chicken over your head!
That would impress me!!
USA! USA! USA!
Am I a record?
I’m a douche
Fork – Who is the new guy with the gold glove?
I missed all the exciting stuff. Damn this job of mine. Who cares I guess. W flag is flying in Wrigleyville today. I love these Cubbies 39% more when they are beating the Tards.
It’s probably Chuck. Now that the douchebag spotlight is on BC, he is probably just trying to creat something.
Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Goooooo! Hey Chicago Whaddaya Say! Cubs Are Gonna Win Today!
Is not a bad thing. It actually goes into something wonderful that you #421 have not managed to do yet in your sorry life. A big smelly turd is what you are my friend.
Haven’t been around long, but this seems like a ton of posts. Is this a Desipiots record?
and he be Chuck.
Intrepid Reader: Chuck
Thanks. Now stop riding my balls.
If 427 was a record, it is not anymore.
Doh!
anyone?
Definitely not the Tards
::ripple-ripple-flap….
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM (B2 Stealth Bomber flying by)
HOLY CRAP! ripple-ripple flap ogdens::
Too many new punks on here. Shut the hell up. Post record? Puh-leeze.
FYC.
Thank you all for making my horrifically slow day that much quicker…..and funnier. Go Cubbies.
What do I have to do with anything, 436?
got salad?
How do you like me now, bitches?
This is what it’s like to be Barry Bonds. The next one is always a new record, bitches.
test
?
Milwaukee.
really deserved all the hate he got. I read a comment of his made in earnest during this about benching Lee for the rest of the season. I mean hyperbole is one thing but when your hyperbole is so much dumber than everyone else’s, you’re a douche. Chuck is a douche.