Pitching matchup:
St. Louser: Joel Piniero 3-2, 4.25 ERA
Cubs: The Bull Moose 13-5, 3.25 ERA
Shop the Desipio/Pointless Exercise Store
Pitching matchup:
St. Louser: Joel Piniero 3-2, 4.25 ERA
Cubs: The Bull Moose 13-5, 3.25 ERA
I saw that hidden caption. I resent the inference!
I recently alluded to the green stuff as ivory while doing the pregame with Ronny. So I got that going for me. Which is nice.
Don’t forget, guys, it’s Joe-Ell. Joe-Ell. Two syllables.
Piss away your afternoon here? Might as well go to the game. Brokers likely as long as last night. Say see you at Nesii Lounge at 1? Give the morans a proper **** off…
Like me.
What in the world do I mean?
I’m to recruiting what Alvin Hrabosky is to broadcasting.
Cue mouthbreathing shot.
How’s the visibility today?
Brokers with more tickets than buyers; a long position. Forced to sell at deep discount last night.
It means I’m selling tickets, dipshit.
As Pat says, the weather’s nice and I can see all the way to Lake Michigan. Or at least to that very large puddle next to Murphy’s. Man I had to leak last night.
Someone needs to injure me today.
Maybe step on his Ankiel? Man, I’m quick today.
Nice start Ted.
Will Lilly-livered pull it off today?
Stay tuned…..
I like it when balls bounce in me.
I am the balls
So do I #16, so do I.
Oh, and I’m dead. Fucking little people.
I hope Ted throws a couple balls my way.
yeah, my brain is still getting into gear today. go figure.
anyone watching on tv, are there many empty seats? these Monday day games are kinda rare and with the weather it seems like it wouldn’t be that packed….
Can someone please explain to me why the fuck they’d pitch to Rolen there instead of Edmonds?
I’m pretty fucking cocky to face Rolen with first base open and Lassie on deck.
I got what I deserved.
rolen hits .172 against lefties until just now
God, I hate
Jim Hendry for not acquiringScott Rolen.Kind of a slow start for Tossin’ Teddy, hey gang? Don’t worry, the Clobbering Cubbies have their hittin’ shoes on! I’m not sure it’ll be enough against these surging Cardinals. They are red hot. Can’t stop them. They just won on Thursday!
I blame Pat. He had to point out that Rolen was 0-8 in the series so far.
Fuck you Chuckles.
#21,
You’re feeling cocky? Can I feel it too?
I kill dogs. I admit it.
http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN2046646420070820?feedType=RSS&feedName=topNews&rpc=22&sp=true
got salad?
Do I hit 9th when Sori returns? Discuss…
I will not win this game.
I’ve been tearing up the NL!… against the Padres and Brewers!
Looks like if the pitchers’ mound was 200 feet from home Ankiel would still be alright.
That’s bad baserunning though. It was right in front of Theriot and he had to see that the ball didn’t bounce too far from Ricky.
Yeah, I know you hate me A Ram. But Rolen should have been here in 2002 a year before you became available.
I’m going to stretch this double into an out.
Nice job, Ank-ee-el. You can’t throw from the mound to the plate, but you can nail a runner at third from LF. Go figure.
That Ankiel guy’s got a hose.
Making outs via agressive baserunning when you have Jacque up next is never smart.
Why do I have to act like Jon Miller and over-enunciate Piniero’s name. Why do we announcers go to great lengths to pronounce Latin names right yet don’t go to great pains to pronounce Eastern European, Scandanavian or Asian names?
Wow.
I spell my name with a backwards K, biatch!
What? Outside corner at the knees? Come ON, blue!
Chuck, if you don’t like Derrek Lee, you’d have hated Scott Rolen.
Where’s that ball? Oh yeah. Behind me after crossing the plate.
Derrek, would you please take the fukking bat of your fukking shoulders?
Aggressive is one thing. What I did was dumb.
Oh, I like Derrek Lee – the 2002 to 2006 version. I just hate that the 2007 version is Mark Grace.
With fewer RBI.
In an ideal world Theriot still bats first, Fontenot/DeRosa bats second, Lee third, Ramirez fourth and Alfonso 5th….
I think so anyway.
Because if they don’t, all the beaners will get upset and start marching again.
I’ve got nothing. Thank God, Lou took me out early Wednesday night.
In an ideal world, Soriano bats leadoff.
For Kansas City.
Theriot, Lee, Soriano, Ramirez, Floyd, Fonty/Derosa, Jones, Kendall.
How can Lilly be 13-5? How is this possible?
Does he get 21 runs of support per game, or were all of his wins against the Nationals and Pirates?
Well, I see our buddy Scott (Paper Tissue) Rolen is on the DL again. Of course the Cardinals’ third baseman Aramis Ramirez is putting up another 30 homer 110 RBI season. Why the Cubs traded for a guy from Philly with a bad back was never comprehensible or defensible.
By the way, ever notice how much Cubs’ leftfielder Bobby Kielty looks like my kids?
Good to see I’m up to my usual douchebaggery.
Honestly, I can’t tell fake Chuck from real Chuck anymore.
Time for a little two out magic!
They really need to make Brendan Ryan wear a kid’s cap for his picture, because the grown-up size is just too damn big.
Yeah. That Rolen was hurt in 2005 really would have hurt in 2002, 2003, and 2004. And the Cards wouldn’t have had him.
#52 makes the most sense, right?
And Scott Rolen is a better 3B than me because….
I’ve been welcomed to the Human Network. Thanks, Cisco!
There you go, bitches! Where’s my ice cream sammich?
Come onnnnn
My pronunciation of certain players’ names sounds a little strange sometimes, but that’s only because I take the time to actually ask them how they’d like me to pronounce their names on the air. I like to think that I provide a nice contrast to my broadcasting partner, who can barely pronounce his own name properly.
I used to hit those.
BOOM BITCH!
Cripes, Daryle must have been cycling during his stint on the DL.
Was, A Ram. Was. I like having you here. I just hate having a GM that’s constantly getting out maneuvered by other GMs in his division. Scott Rolen to the Cards was one of those maneuvers.
I agree with 52 lineup.
I’m teh balls
Here I come, bitches!
BACK-TO-BACK JACKS!! OH MY GOD!
LMAO!
Fake Chucks, real Chuck, Desipio’s got ’em all. And they’re all annoying beyond belief.
This has become the Colonel Blimp Network every time that there’s a gamecast.
Question–
Can Ward use Cedeno to run the bases after he homers? It’d be the most action that loser would have had all year, seeing as how he has SEVEN TOTAL BASES on the season, or one less total than Fat Kanagroo has had since Saturday.
I would totally be teh balls right now.
Chuck, do you really believe that Rolen would have been the boost we needed in 2003? I remember E-Ram coming in and helping us out there. He’s been pretty good since too.
Wait, I’m still here? Whoa! Let me hide in the clubhouse before Lou sees me and has me sent back to Des Moines!
A guy in the Cubs clubhouse named Cedeno needs more action? Wheee!
Wanna see my corn cob #80?
How’s the weather looking?
You can sit on the bench next to me, Ronny. I’ve forgotten how to play baseball, too.
The heck with that dried-up, corncob-dress-wearing, old ex of Ryno’s. What I need is to make a trip back to Des Moines to pay a visit to the Rally Carp.
The NWS radar shows showers coming into Chicago. I would guess that we’ll see rain within in the hour.
What crack-smoking parents would take us to a ballgame? It’s not like we’d remember our first trip to Wrigley…
Wow, the Bull Moose brought the good stuff today?
Why the fukk are they pitching to Rolen? I don’t give a crap what his current average against lefties is. Walk him!!
Do you hit a double to the SS?
What? Rolen? He’s not good, is he?
So, E-Ram got in the way of The Riot making a play? Fuck. Go warm some pine dumbass.
To pitch to Rolen with runners on 2nd and 3rd today.
Just sometimes, Chuck. Thanks for having my back.
Good thing they didn’t walk Rolen to get to me, otherwise that would have been a double play.
Maybe this game will get rained out too.
Oh sure, NOW you intentionally walk someone.
Moran.
Want me to do a rain dance? I don’t have much else to do nowadays…
Batting the pitcher 8th is brilliant.
here i come!
Thanks for the run support, Lou.
Rain, rain. Come today. Come now, not another day.
Did Ron Cey just come back?
Not a big fan of Kendall’s pitch location setups in this series… Yes you have to pitch inside with lefties like Hill and Lilly but NOT on two-strike counts to the Cardinals’ middle-order right-handed hitters.
Here comes one of Jock’s famous GIDP.
Fortunately just a K
Time to strand Theriot on base yet again! Why mess with tradition when we have a good thing going?
I wonder if the next pitch wii be low and away?
#103
I wouldn’t tell Manson that. It might make him a bit pissed off. However if he or Bundy snaps today they’ll might go on a murderous ramage through the Tards’ dugout.
Nope… didn’t Piniero read the scouting report? Low and away, low and away…
FYC!
Hand me a can of STFU, A Ram.
Kangaroo time!
Can you smell me yet?
I like how it takes me 20 minutes to update one pitch, then the next three innings stream by in about 3 seconds.
Time to reach into the ol’ pouch and pull out some more RBI!
If I was 4 feet tall, I would have had that!
Fat K,
You pulled a double play out of that pouch. I think the RBI was a little to the left.
I will not win this game.
Hey, #117, I’m a marsupial, not a magician.
#118
How many runs will win this game?
Why am I plugging RaLoser for Manager of Year? I suck.
I think 7 is the over/under line for number of runs to win the game. Maybe 6.5.
As many as the Cubs have at the end of the game.
Did you really need any more proof that Brenly should not be announcing the Cubs. This guy is not a Cubs fan. He’s a JackHole and he should be gone.
Explain for the Gamecast/Gameday viewers?
I know you wanted it from Aramis, but here it is from me: STFUC
It was very important that Ankiel fall over to make that catch.
Very sad to hear about the passing of Tom Bujnowski. The creator of the Kerry Wood K signs. I sat next to him in the bleachers in 1998. Great guy.
Over/under for Scott Rolen RBI this inning.
122. over. 129 under.
0-2. Meatball. Waveland. #%($*$$%@%(@# Pooholes.
Knock Pooh holes on his ass next time.
Can Lilly and Kendall please learn their lesson about coming inside to leftys with 2 strikes?
The ball should be thrown at me next time!
Damn, I meant rightys.
I like earholes, among other holes!!
Just utterly HORRIBLE baseball strategy being displayed by Kendall today…
Unlike my ungulate namesake, I apparently prefer a drier environment in which to do my best work.
Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a loss out of my hat!
I’d be all for it, but getting hit by a Lilly pitch would be like getting hit with a marshmallow.
I can’t stand that fuker Pooholes. If only he’d take a trip over to Mike Shannon’s and have a few.
At least we were empty when Albert hit it out.
If I send up Cedeno instead of Fonty, I’m an idiot.
141, what if you sent up Lilly?
Come on, walk me, ogden!
I need Lilly to work a couple more innings at least, shithead!
Then I’m a DOUBLE IDIOT! X_x
We think another baserunner would be more useful than a couple innings from the $hit $how that is Ted Lilly today.
How does Jo-EL retire seven straight ANYTHING?
Of course that is contingent on others getting on base safely as well.
Don’t look at my freakishly large and expanding size and compare me to Barriod’s giant head and come to any conclusions. I’m about as guilt of taking roids or HGH as Mike Vick is of being involved in dog fighting.
Is it possible he is actually named El Jo. That means The Ho in Spanglish.
Why’d ya pull Piniero?
Do you see precipitation yet?
The same reason I bat him and all my pitchers in the 8 spot, 151. Because I am a SUPER GENIUS!
we
love bullpens! (apparently hearts don’t work on desipio)
That genius should be manager of the year. And the Asshole Catcher should be the announcer of the year! Their both geniusess or geni or geniussee. I am not a genius.
Nope. Hearts just break here.
The radar on weather.com is making it look like everything will pass over.
Which one of us are you referring to, 156? There are quite a few to choose from!
I just blew that call strike.
I’m from M*A*S*H. Suicide is Painless.
I obviously hate the city of Chicago – as evidenced by the number of players I have from the city on my team.
GO CARDINALS!!!!!
#160
I blew the ump.
Fuck you Troy Percival.
I’m back bitches, 5-4 now.
Chuck, you piece of shit, don’t you ever say my name from your filthy mouth.
My bad. There are a lot of Asshole Catchers. Let me clarify
Asshole Catcher = Booth
Killer Catcher = Squatting in the blood of others.
Kandyie Ass Catcher = I do lots of things wrong, but we seem to win when I play.
Does that help?
It would be nice if we had a massive meltdown today. I’m talking about on a scale of 1 to 10 this one goes to Oh!man.
FYC!!!!!
What is this?
So I take it you mean Bob Brenly? Tim McCarver was a catcher too.
I have envisioned Chuck on my balls. Then I hit them hard.
I was out.
I’ve been tossed around more than Cindy Sandberg’s salad.
HEYOOOO!!
mmmmmm…… Pitching change after a ground out.
Yeah, that makes sense….
No, really…..
Aw, forget it.
Aram was safe by a mile.
Do you think switching pitchers so often will keep the game paused long enough for the rain to come?
Pure genius.
This weekend, I have been some kind of Dawsonesque balls.
LaRussa fears me, bitches!
I’m on FIRE!
I am a god.
I can actually control the weather with my mind.
Years from now they’ll call this the “Fat Kangaroo Game”.
Or not.
On Gameday, Ryan Franklin just deposited ball 1 in an anatomically correct place on Murton. I can no longer watch the remainder of the AB.
C’mon Roy Kendall, tear the cover off of it
COME ON KEN DOLL!
Murton gets Balls!
I will come through – or kill you…
Murder it Ken Doll. or murder yourself.
Pitchers fear me!
YAY! I Suck!
I’m BAAAACK. Just like that annoying little dead girl.
Jean Benet Ramsey?
Are we going to end this one early?
Rick f’in Ankiel
Ankeel! Fuck.
Don’t I look like the bat boy for redbirds
Rick Ankiel is a homosexual.
looks like I’m not in the Cards. Get it? Cards?
Ow! Stop it!
Papa Lou is going to be pissed at me. Now I’ll never get to spell my name the same as him.
n/t
God damn how the fuck do you give up a homer to a fucking crack baby?
Alright guys, I held the Tards to 5 runs in 6 innings. I did my part now let’s see if you can win this one.
I will speed this game up… Two more down and then the Cubs will get two quick runs.
Oh, and then it can rain all it wants.
Man, it’s raining pretty hard at Wrigley…
How about me #205.
Oh, I mean the Cubs will score three quick runs…
I’m hallucinating. I thought I saw Fontenot playing second base.
I’ll homer and as I round second base, I’ll give Ankiel the finger.
Then Theriot will double and the JJP will be back, female doges!
Nobody has thrown a shut the fuck up chuck for awhile.
I’m reacting as if they’ve delayed the game
GO AWAY!
tarp…
We’re still trying to figure out today’s conspiracy. Don’t worry we’ll come up with something.
Pat, you can’t say dammit on the air.
They can’t call the game can they? Don’t the Cubs have to hit like in that Pirates game earlier this summer.
Dammit
Ta da!
Did I just shout “dammit!” on the radio too, or only on Gameday Audio?
We’re about to get fucked in the ass. If yesterday’s game isn’t on ESPN they get it in on Sunday afternoon and Z probably gets the win.
Thanks MLB. Cock Suckers.
Why does the Red Dot in Right say Rolen vs. Franklin?
That’ll be $250,000, Mr. Santo.
MLB GameDay Audio + Ron Santo = comedy gold.
No. if they call it, they can go back to the score in the last completed inning (5-4) and that will be the final. If they don’t fuck Ramirez on that call at first We’re probably tied.
Here’s a novel thought. Baseball teams let the networks know when they will be playing and the networks show up to film. I hate this Network mandated scheduling in every sport.
At least Ankiel gets fucked out of the homer.
By the looks of the ol’ radar, I’m thinking this won’t last long. It looks like it’s starting to clear in the NW suburbs.
No, no, no. We have shitloads of cash, see? We pay MLB to televise the games when WE want to. Otherwise, MLB gets no money.
We rule the world bitches. Don’t blame us for the rain, fuckwads.
G-Man-G, here’s a novel thought: We pay definitely a few millions to MLB and they then let us dictate the starting times of some games.
I suck.
Your right, I won’t blame the rain on the networks. I want to save that one so I can blame my kids crappy attitudes and drug use on them.
On whom will you blame your bad grammar?
#222 clearly wasn’t in Wrigleyville yesterday afternoon to see me, because there’s no way in holy hell Sunday’s game would have gotten in then, either…
Did I just get blamed for something?
Did no not you.
So, what brought on the dammit from Pat?
He seemed like such a nice boy….
Suppose Fork’s team is short a couple players, so he calls up Mike D, bozos and Slaky to fill out the roster. On the way, Mike D stops at a bar and gets bombed, and then smokes some weed and then gets run over by a bus. Meanwhile, Slaky drinks definitely a few glasses of red wine with bozos before driving to the game. Slaky falls asleep at the Route 60/US 41 stoplight and is hauled off to Lake Forest jail, while bozos speeds down 41 and plows into a tow truck which is busy towing Chuck’s car away. With these tragic circumstances, would Fork be able to reschedule a doubleheader with that team later? Or would he have to take the forfeit loss and go get ’em next time?
Why should the Cardinals be rewarded for having an inbred alcoholic pitcher who likes to drive 90 mph into tow trucks, endangering the safety of many fine citizens of the Ozarks? I say, fuck the Cardinals for having an irresponsible clubhouse and hang a forfeit L on them.
I realized I ran out of scotch. Now I’ll have to put up with Ron’s idiocy for another couple of hours without my medicine.
DAMNIT!
I thought it was Santo.
If that game’s not on ESPN it’s never started and Z pitches today. if that happens they aren’t losing 6-4 and the probably get a win today.
Santo and Scotch. Two great tastes that go great together.
I fellated Rick Ankiel in a way that his prison-bound father could only dream of.
Don’t worry. I pitch tomorrow or Wednesday in Frisco and I keel Barry Bonds, God willing. Because without God, I’m screwed.
Remember when Arne Harris would play me during rain delays? That video was teh balls.
So were we.
Those were some great rain delay highlights. Lou liked to run on lefties ’cause he could watch their eyes.
Bill Madlock and John Matlack co-MVPs… this tape’s the balls too
Wow, John Williams and Dave Kaplan are taking turns giving it to me.
I used to get played quite a bit during rain delays too.
I make Desipio Suck.
I did some of my best work during rain delays.
I’ve been shown during rain delays before. I am painted like a Cubs uniform.
So do I, #249.
I am truly Arne Harris’ greatest work. In fact I’d go so far as to say I’m his legacy.
I need to buy some meth.
I really like when the cameraman focuses on some old person or some kid so that we don’t think he’s actually looking at the Double Ds sitting right behind that oldperson/kid.
#254, hop on the Red Line and take a trip down to me. I’ve got all the meth a St. Looian could ever want.
I remember Jack Brickhouse once saying “That’s not what you think it is.” Hilarious.
I think I’ll just snort some jock powder. Right out of PooHole’s jock.
is all clear. Hope things are clearing up in w-ville also.
Dude, how’s the visibility?
258,
If anyone has first crack at PooHoles’s jock and or crack it’s me.
I thought I looked more like Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine. You get me a green cardigan and an Andy Capp lid and I’ll show you the bizness.
You know what I like? Those Andy Capp fries. And you know why I like the Andy Capp fries? Because they’re the only food that’ll keep in the Wrigley basement vending machine. You know, the same basement where Chucky Kendall Manson keeps his collection of young women’s heads.
You know what I like? Those Andy Capp fries. And you know why I like the Andy Capp fries? Because they’re the only food that’ll keep in the Wrigley basement vending machine. You know, the same basement where Chucky Kendall Manson keeps his collection of young women’s heads.
Fat Kangaroo is me.
Some dude just called into WGN and asked “Hey, whatever happened to Jack Brickhouse?”
ROFLMAO.
Again
Quit rolling around and pick up your ass. It’s disgusting.
Cubs comeback starts in 30 minutes.
Cut me a break, I’ve been in a Coma for 30 years and I just woke up to find out the Cubs still haven’t been to the Series. And now your telling me Brickhouse is dead. Can this day get any worse?
I hate to break this to you Dumbass, but Harry Caray is dead as well.
Oh yeah; and Ricky Martin is gay.
I went to high school with Jesus Christ.
I’m not doing real well either.
Hows the urinatability?
How’s the eatability?
How’s the cuff-link-ability?
It would have been funnier if I had said “How’s the Whizz-ability”
don’t make me go to polly’s website for a weather update…
I’m commin off in 15!
Fuck You Tarp!
mmmmm…steve scone….
Does Andy still have the Rally Carp’s picture?
Ward! I told you — that scone’s for me.
I’m on Facebook. Slaky, wanna poke me?
Franklin coming back out… Big inning!
And by the way, Go Cubs!
I’m up.
Geaux Fontenot
Don’t fucking bring Wuertz in.
Just got my intermeweb tubes up and cooking at the new apartment. Just in time for this comeback, Ogdens.
OK, the rally starts with Jock. Behold the power of the Carp!
Boo hoo Pat is talking about the Ultimate Seventh Inning Stretch…
FU 289
Woo hoo… Jessica Carper here. 2 to tie, three to win!
Woo hoo D Lee! Come on A-Ram, tie it up
Rally Carp… Go Cubs!
Hey, at least it wasn’t strike three.
Clutch walk!
Come on Darryle Ward, you rock star!
I’m back.. What’d I miss?
I’m taking a dump on the Tards’ chest this series
Woo hoo! Fat Kangaroo! Now run the bases Felix.. Go home to tie the game, then come home to the Carp.
a Rally Carp.
I don’t do wonders for DeRo. Not big enough
I despise first pitch outs.
Cubs. 4 runs on 10 hits. Great?
What the fukkkkk was that shit?????
I thought DeRosa was supposed to be an intelligent baseball player.
DeRo can occasionally be surprisingly impatient. In the game last Monday against the Reds, after Weather came into the game early, in the 8th inning, DeRo led off the ninth and, on a 1-0 pitch, pooped out to right.
If you walk David Eckstein, you deserve to be released.
OK, Rally time! Murton, Kendall and whoever! Let’s giddyup!
Fox? I just hope it’s not Cedeno
…’cause 2 out of 3 ain’t bad…
Isringhausen has a terrible record when getting six-out saves, so of course instead of using the smart patient plate approach, the Cubs (Other than Derrek Lee) use the “Hack Attack” plate approach and get nothing. They forced Isringhausen to throw so few pitches he could get in tomorrow’s game for the Cardinals if they need them. Just a terrible strategy throughout the game today, whether it was Jason Kendall’s pitch locations or the late-game plate approach.
We had a plane to catch.