Pitching matchup:
Reds: Fabio Arroyo 9-14, 4.31 ERA
Cubs: Dick Mountain 9-8, 3.81 ERA
Lineups
Reds
Norris “Smells like I’m sitting on the” Hopper, cf
Jeff Keppinger, ss
Griffey the Younger, rf
Brandon Phillips, 2b
VORP, lf
Eddie Encarnacion, 3b
Whore-hey Cantu, 1b
Dave Ross, c
Fabio, p
Cubs
Al, lf
Dance Fever, ss
Derrek Lee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Clifford, rf
PonDeRosa, 2b
Jock, cf
Captain Caveman, c
Dick Mountain, p
No arm (unless he’s chucking it into right field), no glove, no power Kendall starting over double machine Soto (arm included). Awesome!
I tried to get the new manager guy, Pete Somebody, to push my start back a day so I could get my ‘rows on. Fucker’s making me pitch anyway.
I hit a homer yesterday, how come I’m not playing? I hate Lou, he’s a racist. Or a pigmentist, something bad.
Wind lightly blowing in.
Cubs gently blowing.
Yuk yuk.
v. Reds 5-7
v. Astros 4-8
v. Marlins 0-3
We’re due.
Uh…hum. Not the Astros, you ninny. Us.
How can you forget the Battlin’ Buccos! You’re doomed! Doomed!
I just said the Cubs have “two wins in the bank over Milwaukee.” Much better than two in the hand. Oh, fer chrissakes, not this again.
Norris Hopper? Is that some kind of anti-Marsupial slur?
The Brewers are up 2-0 in the first. Thanks Asstrolls.
How’s the visibility tonight?
We love leavin’ guys on base.
We’re not going to score until Wednesday, are we?
Any of you doges see me sing “BRAAAAAVVVVEEE” at Soldier Field yesterday? No? Well screw you.
BRRRAAAAAVVVEEEEE!
Rich has a big one.
And no, Yakker does not mean penis.
The Cubs are going to change their names to the Chicago LOBs.
Wow, the guy they just showed had a toupee so big it might as well be a three-pay.
I’ll drive the runners home! Oh, wait, I’m leading off. Should I prepare to hand Mike Quade my helmet at second or third?
I hit that one really high! How many is that worth?
What it’s BAD news that Houston dumped me from the rotation for the Brewers series? Don’t I really suck?
The more I suck, the more I smile. I can’t understand why people hate me.
DeRosa can’t steal a base here. He owns them. You can’t steal your own property!
Nice move by Rich Hill on that bunt attempt. I thought he was dancing to Devo.
My bunt attempt sucked, but what were the odds I’d actually sprint to first to avoid the double play?
I am really, really bad at the plate.
Fortunately, I will beat you violently about the face and neck with my fastball/curve combo.
Four through two innings.
Got Dammit
I hate Arroyo more than Lassie nowadays.
Is this guy on the VW commerical doing an impression of Billy Crystal imitating a Guido? Or do people really talk like that around here?
Fuck me.
She grows her hair like that so when she blows me I can pretend she’s a..she.
Rich Hill has cat-like quickness coming off that mound. You know if the cat had one leg.
Ooh, goody the trainer’s visiting the mound. This is always good news.
Great, we can’t drive in a run and they score on a busted sign. GREAT
Game over, doges.
Brewers up 2-0. Cardinals only down 1-0. Cubs down 1-0! Fourth place here we come!
I appear to be Rich’s malady of the moment.
Finish him.
I’m pretty sure I want to throw a pickoff into the dugout here.
K
You guys ever go to the Shoutbox at HJE? It rules.
So does this. But when Andy forgets to post you can blabber the night away with the other closet cases over there.
Kermit and his dad are the balls at softball.
Hey, it’s 2004 again! Celebrate everybody! Fucking Cubs.
Time to crush the Bugs Bunny curve ball
Cliff just fouled a ball off his leg. His foot will most likely fall off now. How can a guy that brittle not wear body armor from head to toe?
Good thing Ramirez walked. Gotta keep that LOB streak alive.
At least I would have my weight too far forward now…
It’s not just a bat, it’s a cane.
Bob Brenley: “I hate to keep bringing up the 2001 season…”
Sure you do
BANG
All Ram’s walks are in the last month and a half. It doesn’t help our shit offense.
Nevermind, 2-1 cubs!
Hero time, bitches! Limp, limp, blast.
Told ya…
Clifford!
Just missed me a hanger….Arroyo is no good tonight.
Back to back Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks!
That little goose step shit that long hair weirdo does doesn’t fool me.
The rally ends here.
If they put together a film of Jock grounding out to second this year the fucking thing would need an intermission.
Holy shit, nice power. Back-to-back jacks, jack. Sweet.
The AFLAC answer is me.
Jock can’t ground out to 2nd as much as Delano DeShields did. I hated that asshole.
Go VORP Donkey! Yay!
Mongo need food
The Summer of Four to Three.
With a helmet on I kinda look like Will Ferrell
Porn star?
Reds phenom?
Both?
You decide.
I’m goin’ streakin! Back to the dugout!
Well, at least that fucker Dunn won’t hit into a double play
Cliff is the most ass-kickingest fragile man I’ve ever seen.
I’m halfway to a Golden Sombrero
How come none of the Cubs hit me in the ass with a pitch this weekend?
Ass teases!
I don’t quite comprehend the counter hits batsmen yet….you only need one big boy
Better win tonight, Cubs. I’ve got my nothingball going in Houston.
4-0 Brewers.
That move Rich Hill has to second is tremendous.
Tremendously lame.
Did we not get the memo about running on Jason Kendall at all costs?
I got news for you Mr. LaRussa, you haven’t heard the last of me. You may think I’m shit now, but someday you’re gonna be sorry you cut me. I’m gonna catch on somewhere else and every time that I pitch against you I’m gonna stick it up you’re fuckin’ ass!
The Trolls are laying down nicely. 5-0 Brewers in the 4th.
Looks aren’t the most important thing. It’s seein’ that’s important.
Harris: Nice. I got a pair just like ’em.
If Rich walks Ross here, let me pitch to Arroyo. I own him!
He’s only hit two homers off me.
Golden what?
We are so tanking this series. You better sweep.
I got another hit tonight. I’m awesome! We’re only down 6-0 in the fourth.
Our conspiracy just keep rolling on.
Middle of the 4th
Phillies 6
Tards 0
[Rocky Dennis]Dude…what happened to your face?[Rocky Dennis]
Who are the Astros pitchers in games 2 and 3?
Why is Ryno having a press conference to talk about his fielding? I’m sick of these same damn commercials.
Len is going on about all of Alfonso Soriano’s stats over the years and I don’t care because I hate him. Don’t taunt me with facts.
In Mexico in my youth I used to like to bob for chimichangas!
Oh good, I get to bunt again.
Here comes Dick to bunt. This should be fun.
I’m impossible to double off.
I don’t care if kendell is hitting well. I hate having a catcher who can’t throw the ball to second.
I hope Cliff is paying attention this game. Next time he calls for a pinch hitter he might consider Hill over Marquis.
I’m am the second base umpire tonight.
Hill looks like he has a bad leg…how about a fake bunt play so he has to bust ass down the line and then run the bases.
Nice call at second by the ump.
Len and Bob are right about Phillips not being on second when he took the throw, but before they get too indignant about it, maybe they should rewatch the 3-6-1 DP in Houston and see where Ryan Theriot was when he caught that throw. He was in Fort Worth.
J.R. Richard and Larry Dierker
The bottom of the fourth is the fuck the Cubs inning!
Lube up Chicago, we’re fucking you in the ass tonight.
That was a horrible call
Where the hell am I after that call at second?
I’m ready to pitch Wednesday if the Astros need me.
Missing 2nd making the turn happens all the time. They never call it, just like they never call batter’s interference on slow curve HBP’s.
Get over it.
Oh, this Ultimate Fan bullshit makes my ears and my ass bleed.
And I’d make peso’s being the pinata for cinco de mayo.
Nice One #88!
We’re done scoring for the night. Thanks for watching folks.
Is that guy auditioning for this contest or one of those gay shows at Great America?
Oh, he has MS. Well, he wins then.
Taylor
I’m going to brain Jay Blunk with a shovel for this.
Seriously. This ultimate 7th inning stretch stuff has to go. “If they don’t win it’s a shame–BUT THEY WILL. YAY!.”
This is so typical.
Hey Arroyo only switch hitters use 2 ear flapped helmets…oh yeah I forgot…
I’m afraid of the ivory.
Nice play by A Sor there. Tremendous hustle. But that’s ok because Soriano is smart to know when to hustle.
Professor Poopypants is in the house.
I don’t know, Chuck. It looked like he played that rope of a line drive off the wall all right to me.
Of course, there I hustled over to take a ball away from Jock so they wouldn’t tag and go to third. But never mind that.
Leads are overrated.
How about one of me right now?
That’t not what I meant
Poop!
You didn’t say how hard 119.
Fuck you, 119.
My vagina hurts
Ron: Well, Brandon Phillips is their best hitter.
Hill did a nice jorb backing up home.
Griffey hit my bag of oats
There’s something really smelly running down my legs right now. HELP!
Lou should go with one of me.
Can CORP spell Poop?
Can VORP spell Poop?
See, right in the fucking ass
Nice pitching by the guy Jim Hendry said was untouchable.
You dicks aren’t getting shit from us tonight.
Guh.
The Cubs will be lucky to get me in the 6 with the Reds. God, this team sucks giant ass. Fuck ’em.
Excellent, just as I ordered.
Glad I ran the bases last inning…
Will I shit the bed tonight? I think so.
Somebody needs to get knocked on his ass
I’m a big hairless pussy.
Ron: One thing I worry about with Michael is that he’s slow to home.
You know, cause Adam Dunn is a threat to steal.
Can I ever throw that slider for an actual strike?
I’m only doing this so the runners can get a head start.
Perhaps I won’t need to.
WILL win this game.
Love how that rally started with a single to the pitcher. Tremendous. Great show.
Hey, everybody! Miss us?
Rich Hill eesa pussy
We love hitting against Chicago
Honestly, all you had to contribute was to note a couple years where the cubs had problems at the end of the season?
Bravo!
Thankfully Arroyo has nothing and we are a couple of innings from their bullpen
Son of a bitch.
!!!!
So that’s how you catch a ball in the ivory.
And I’m waiting to crush your dreams-
David Weathers
Hi, my name is Corey Provus. I am the worst radio announcer EVER. I bring false hope.
I’m not in a pennant race like Fonsi, I can afford to make that play
It wouldn’t hurt for Lou to get tossed tonight. These fuckers are pressing.
After game 151
Astros 82-69 —
Cubs 81-70 1 GB
4-3 or 6-3, what’ll it be bitches?
In Corey’s defense, he’s used to a LFer who would have stood and watched that.
Wind howling out to left. My power is to left center.
Watch me try to pull everything!
Or maybe I’ll drive DLee in.
I taught DeRosa how to do that.
Shit, I was aiming that right at the second baseman. What happened?
I want that ball, bitches.
That rookie ain’t takin’ my job.
Kill! Kill! Kill! I mean Hit! Hit! Hit!
Corey Provus: DeRosa is going to be out at third and…NO the ball hit Derosa’s back and….When does Pat come back again?
Whee, I lead off again!
Can’t lose if you’re tied!
LOB count is what? Seven?
Dammit, where’s the Charmin?
Good bounce back inning. We also can get another inning from Weutrz
We’re tanking so bad. We can’t believe you didn’t sweep us.
I got an error? For what? For not catching DeRosa’s limp toss back in the fifth? Jesus, even the scorer is out to fuck me.
I’m in for a horrible, horrendous and hopefully glorious roller coaster ride the next two and a half weeks.
Suck it Arroyo.
We’re taking the last 2 weeks of the season off. We hope no one minds.
Pat, you better hurry up and find it, because I’m not sure I can handle any more play by play.
Do we have to?
I’m creepy.
When I give you the stop sign, I don’t mean RIGHT FUCKING THERE!
My head is smooth as a baby’s bottom
Yikes. Quade Fest 2007.
Look out, here comes the big bat!
We couldn’t score in a women’s prison with a fistful of pardons.
It’s 11-0? Hell, the forfeit score is only 9-0.
Yikes!! Indication of how bad the Reds pen is…Arroyo has nothing tonight and he hits…crap, never mind, he is their best hitter
Should have been covering first there Lee. We’d have had a play.
Don’t worry about it Wuertz. This Arroyo can HIT!
I just want to get this out and go home.
Mommy.
Funny how often that ball finds Jock.
Don’t boo, Jacque will just get mad
Love me yet, ogdens?
Even a half-decent throw would have had Hopper.
I’ll just misplay this ball and lollipop the throw home and give that run back.
The Cubs outfield only has 2 types of throws. Soriano or shit.
Don’t worry I’ll get out of this inning. 5 or 6 batters later.
Bringing Err in to get a big out is not doing wonders for my positive.
Sometimes, Soriano has both kinds.
I threw the ball there on the fly and it didnt work…going back to skipping rocks
First place is overrated.
I’m shocked, Eyre gave up a run. SHOCKED
This is a huckuva way to win a division.
Ahh, this inning just gets better and better.
The Chicago Ceystone Cops.
9-4?
Forget the comment from earlier, *I’M* the record against the Reds the rest of the way.
Fuck you Chuck.
I pitch much better when were in last place
Kevin Hart has thrown a complete game in the bullpen.
Another inning where if the Cubs get Arroyo out nobody scores. Yay?
What’s impressive about the Cub offense in this game is that they actually came back to score after clogging the bases in the first. AND they scored in more than one inning!
Oops. Just flipped to check the score of MNF and caught a glimpse of Chris the Hippo. So goes my attempt to make it a whole football year without seeing that turd.
I guess I’ll try it again with the One-Eyed basketball Coach shill this winter.
Cubs are going to win this game.
Wow, Al was really dragging that leg. Yeesh.
Reds are now playing game under protest saying Lou did not double switch correctly….that is strange
So we see Soriano gimping. Nice to see Lou placating this ass by batting a guy with a bad leg in the leadoff slot.
Even if the Cubs come back (big if) and the protest is upheld what the hell can the league do if the umps allowed it on the field.
What the fuck?
Hurt leg or not, he still can’t run the bases
…the Reds pitcher coming in has an 8.38 ERA. Watch him look like Cy Young.
Chuck, for chrissakes, find another dead horse to beat.
Soriano is a non-steroid Sosa.
I’d love to, but Soriano’s fetlock is still intact.
I thought that was a Chuck parody all night…
You can piss and moan about him all you want, but the whole thing about where he bats needs to end. He’s giving you plenty of ammo tonight, go with that.
Why the hell do we root for these assholes?
OK. He neesd to bat 10th.
Good thing Scatman Crothers is there at third, that should have been a called strike.
What that Hendry Votto?
Henry, that is.
If you are upset about where Soriano bats, just think of it like he’s hitting 10th…or something.
Phew. Big double play there. Don’t want to pitch to Buck Coats with a runner on.
Let’s see if Ron can reach his high note!
Oh. You said that already. Nevermind.
Well, you meant 10th as in “1st and 10th.” I meant pinch hitter.
Oh. Then go ahead and mind…or something.
Mike Stanton? He’s still alive?
I need to fire up this team again. A pennant push tirade calls for stealing something more than a base…..like maybe an umpire’s penis.
Ya, until he gets signed by the Cards.
Nobody grounds into double plays like our Cubbies!
Watching Jr. play right it’s obvious he’d fit right in with the Cubs.
Well, I’ve had enough of this shit.
Gotta lead the league in first pitch outs.
At least Jock didn’t ground out to second this time.
The good news is we are facing a shitty bullpen… the bad news is we can’t hit shitty pitching.
There is none of me, unless you’re a Brewers fan. This team will never see first place again.
Hey, good news, this team will see first place tomorrow. Maybe only a share of it, nonetheless…
of the Cubs’ 2007 season. I am today’s game.
I get drunk off Milwaukee’s beer and then wake up the next morning with a sore ass.
Second place, by me.
We’re just going to roll over and die for the rest of the season. We hope no one got their hopes up on us doing anything this year.
I have a HUGE butt.
The only way we have a chance of winning this game is if Dumpster closes for the Reds.
Wouldn’t you like to know if I’ve got the wang to back it up.
Alright…here comes Weathers so we have that going for us.
Weathers is a nibbler and this ump has a stamp sized zone, so we will have a shot
Doesn’t Weathers owe us a few wins from when he pitched w/ us?
I am called for. This is the Reds we’re talking about.
I was a Cub????
Fuck. Yes.
EAT A DICK FATTY!
What I miss? Anything?
They had no business winning that game, but hell ya they did!!!
254, care to make a retraction?
Maybe this team is charmed…..
Fuck your percentage points and all you doomsday types. We’re still in first place all you candy ass whiney mamas boy bitches.
Told you.
I am hot in Milwaukee.
Not so fast, Milwaukee.
FUCK YEAH!!!!!
Respect me, ogdens!
HOLY SHIT!!!
David Weathers, +1
Go Cubs Go never sounded so good.
Unbefuckinglieveable.
and I’m 10 for my last 10 against the Reds
Crank that shit, yo!
I was Brewer, too.
I hate Milwaukee.
Will Fucking Ohman had to get the victory. Put him back into storage Lou, don’t press your luck.
Told ya…
Boy am I glad it didn’t get to Jacque.
Cubbiekid (#260)
Yes, Weathers owed us. He was another one, along with Tucker, DeShields and McGriff, who did squat after being acquired in ’01.
It would be nice to give Ohman’s “W” to someone else, though.
FLY IT, DOGES!
Flap, flap, flappity, flappity, flappity.
I think Mark Derosa should play QB for the Bears as well.
Weathers was a cub in 01.
What about me, guys? Do I get a chance to help the Cubs somehow, too?
I never had any doubt. Maybe a little.
…holy shit.
Go Cubs.
Thanks for the news flash, #284. Dope.
Did the Chicago broadcast ever mention the protest? They are getting ready to talk about it again on the Cinci feed.
I think Rex Grossman should join the Reds bullpen.
Ripple Ripple Flap Flap Ripple Female Mother fukcing doges!!!!!?!!1one!!@@#!
What I want to start against the Reds.
No discussion of the protest Dennis. Wow what a win (just watched it again, its getting “save until I delete [or my DVR fails]” status.
Dadgum right this game will be played under protest. That is BS.
#288, i was referring to post 262 cumrag.
I don’t know if it was mentioned, but when I flipped back at one point Len and Bob were discussing something about Lou not immediately notifying the umps about something–which I would imagine would be the double switch in question.
Crank me!
I may be one of the vilest things that you never thought of until just now.
My last ten ABs against the Reds?
10-10. Suck on that.
You rang?
No, I’ve been to Busch stadium several times.
I know it’s easy for me to say, as I spent the middle 90% of this Gamecast riding the train home from work, but that was some embarassing fatalism in the middle. The Cubs fall down in the first game, and suddenly it’s an 0-6 homestand? Jesus Christ guys, if you can’t have any perspective, the least you can do is shut off the computer.
And Chuck, after reading through this shit, I am now convinced that you are not happy unless you’re miserable. Dead horse doesn’t even begin to describe your broken fucking record which, in the midst of a pennant push, is as welcome as a railroad spike in the ass crack.
I don’t know about you guys but for no real reason I had a good feeling going into the bottom of the ninth.
That’s the first time in awhile I can remember the crowd being fired up with the Cubs coming up to bat trailing in the ninth. Maybe it was a collective sigh of relief that Ohman didn’t blow up and let in like 5,000,000,000 runs I don’t know.
But the start of that inning had a very different vibe than the last few home losses. For the first time in a long time it felt like they had a chance to come back. And they did. Not sure what that says but it was a nice feeling for a change.
A loss would have meant we were still tied for first and were still playing the Reds at home.
Besides, this team is going to win some of the kind of games like we had tonight. Amazing.
That’s true, #303, except shots of people exchanging me are kind of embarassing.
So, I’m upset because the Cubs won and the reason they won is that Theriot led off the ninth?
Wow…I can’t believe the windsocks here. If I didn’t know better, I’d think youse guys were flipping channels between two separate games.
Lesson for the rest of the season: When you play Cincinnati, the game ain’t over until the flag goes up. They’ve got multiple Turnblows in that pen.
I went to bed after the 8th. What happened?
Who are you 308, and why are you impersonating me?
I’m #308, and I impersonate no one
Mark DeRosa you are ridiculous!
I am teh balls ogdens.
I am teh balls ogdens.
Fucking bollucks, I turned the game off after the 8th pissed at the ineptitude of the offense to get some guys in and come back an hour later to Derosa at the mic talking about the win. 2 good innings in the game and I miss the best fucking one.
Serves you right, douchebag. Any rat can jump off the ship when times are tough. You actually think you were entitled to witness that awesomeness after giving up on a 2 run defecit to the Reds? You didn’t DESERVE to see that comeback, so everything worked out the way it should have.
Hilarious and I agree. That would be why I watched utnil the 9th inning and why it did feel so good.
Game thread tonight?
when ward got walked and it shows rammy in the dugout, seeing Z grab his chest and do his best impression of a heart attack