Pitching matchup:
Cubs: The Bull Moose 15-7, 3.78 ERA
Fish: Dontrelle 9-15, 5.32 ERA
Lineups
Cubs
Al, lf
PonDeRosa, 2b
Derrek Lee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Ginger, rf
Geovany Soto, c
Guh, cf
Dance Fever, ss
The Bull Moose, p
Marlins
Hanley Garage Door, ss
Uggggla, 2b
Felix Hermida, rf
Fat Miguel, 3b
Mike Jacobs, 1b
Miggy Olivo, c
Todd Linden, rf (Really?)
Brett Carroll, cf
Dontrelle, p
= wtf??
F’in CLTV. I’m watching it in the upper left hand corner of the screen on “the matrix’ thing on DirecTV. The Cubs look like Brett Somers (RIP).
We won’t touch Willis tonight.
Stop swinging at that outside shit. And good thing Comcast is showing that enthralling Sox-Royals tilt. This world is fucked up.
We need a nickname for Soto, don’t we?
is all I have. Thought I could watch on the dish but the FSN Florida said ixnay
Whatchu talkin’ about Willis?
I’m throwing 100pitches tonite……all strikes
Dontrelle’s mama gave me a baseball card of Dontrelle in a Cub uniform.
**First inning mound visit**
I’m not fucking around tonight.
How about a three run homer?
We’re pitching games two and three! What could go wrong?
I’m a strike zone squeezing douche.
I’m a Desipio freezing douche
More game updates! Nobody gets this fucking channel they’re on outside of 3 counties!
The Florida announcer said that on deck hitter Miguel Olivo is 4-8 with three homers against Lilly. That can’t be right. Miguel doesn’t have four career hits, does he?
Ted drops the hammer on a hapless Mike Jacobs to end the first.
I wish I were Hancock’d.
Did I make the trip?
I appear to be in the works. Dontrelle is mowing the Cubs down and Lilly is facing….the Marlins offense.
We’re making Dontrelle look like Black Sandy Koufax.
I did. No room left for the offense.
Six up, six down. This won’t last. They will score a bundle tonight.
How many people are at the game? 70? If you don’t go home with a foul ball you’re not trying.
[backwards]K[/backwards]!
You got the only four hits you’ll ever get off me already, Olivo, you shitass. I’ve got chunks of guys like you buried in my backyard.
Wait, we don’t have this thing wrapped up?
Are Jamey and I sisters?
How the **** do I still exist? And did you guys see the new “Rays” uniforms? Absolutely atrocious:
http://sportswrap.berecruited.com/2007/09/21/new-tampa-bay-devil-rays-logo-uniform-tampa-bay-devils-rays-to-become-tampa-bay-rays/
Wow, we are tied with Greg Hibbard’s in 1993. Bullish coincidence? I think not.
How the **** do I still exist? Did you see the new “Rays” uniforms? Absolutely atrocious:
http://sportswrap.berecruited.com/2007/09/21/new-tampa-bay-devil-rays-logo-uniform-tampa-bay-devils-rays-to-become-tampa-bay-rays/
I like guys on the bases. I get lonely otherwise.
Hey, season tickets for the 2008 Marlins are on sale now!
Seriously, why am I batting ninth in this lineup?
I have an .803 OPS. Suck on that, Craig Monroe.
Guh.
Bases loaded. One out. Dontrelle has five hits in his last five at bats.
This sucks. I can’t see the ball-strikes counter and because it’s up there, the fucking announcers never give the count.
Here I come.
We’re on next.
Jesus Christ. Does Murton have NO fucking range in right? How do both of those fall in for hits?
I just threw up a little.
I would have caught those balls.
That’s why I play so deep. So I can catch those at the track. I know, if we had a real right fielder the inning would have ended with no runs scoring.
The Cubs can blow me, no problem.
The season is 156 games long, right?
How’s that for a great start?
We are a fucking joke.
I think I’ll be eating my dinner out on the ledge tonight.
Why can’t the Cubs beat the Marlins? Why?
FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK!
Relax, fellas.
Looks like another night sweating my balls off. Crank the AC.
Shit.
Enjoy watching us on TV next week.
Oh, me!
Who’s your ace now?
stop glaring at me!!! im not even on the active roster!
Told ya.
That 4 spot will give us a nice little boost
I have a Five-plus ERA, bitches. If I could hit off myself I’d be Babe Ruth. But you can’t hit sheeit tonight.
Why do I play. Seriously. Why?
Murton is the Cubs’ best option for right, right?
At last I will be able to unveil my dastardly Trojan Horse scheme in the safety of my true home stadium.
Mhhuuuuhhhh Haaaahhaaaa!
I don’t believe this shit.
get me the **** out of here
How many times do you get to see a perfect game?
You forgot me.
We can’t bunt
Here’s how it’s done…take notes.
This evening will be the balls if
A. The Cubs come back and win
B. The Brewers lose
C. Murton “Nomars” the shit out of his groin on the wet outfield grass.
Why should I actually get a bunt down?
D. All of the above?
I’m gonna hit a 4 run homer here.
I get it in the rear from Prince Fielder in exchange for us lying down this series for the Brewers.
We hope you enjoyed last weekend because we’re done now.
Keep swinging! It’s not like I walk a shitload of guys every game or anything.
Pat just said “Milwaukee winning at home” and I just about shit my pants before he finished the sentence with “last night”. I need to calm down. It’s time to Tanqeray.
Who cares about my atrocious fielding right guys? I can hit almost 10 homers a year!
I’ll have what you’re having.
Our offices should be firebombed. They’ve already shown the Bartman play twice. It’s the third fucking inning of the first fucking game.
I know I kinda suck statwise this year but it could be worse! Be glad you aren’t responsible for lowering Byung-Hyun Kim’s ERA by 2 full runs in one game…oh wait you did that in May.
Nice job Ted.
This is what we do. Why aren’t all of you expecting it?
Nice tag by DeRosa there…
What are the odds Slaky shits out one of me by week’s end? 7-5.
Look, stop us if you’ve heard this one before, but it’s the last week of the season and it looks like we’re going to make the playoffs and then we clusterf…….oh you have heard this one before.
Tomorrow’s going to be excruciating if this shit keeps up. It really feels like 2004 right now. God. Damnit.
WARNING! YOU HAVE ONE SHOW(BONES) SCHEDULED TO BEGIN RECORDING IN ONE MINUTE….. PROCEED AND LEAVE PROGRAM(CHICAGO CUBS V. FLORIDA MARLINS? OR REMAIN ON CHANNEL AND CANCEL NEW RECORDiNG(BONES)?
Me: PROCEED
One run at a time. We need five.
We actually probably need ten. This is SO brutal.
RE:#88
2
Over/Under – games it takes to total those 5 runs
Eckstein, Shumaker, Pujols, Edmonds, Ludwick, Spezio, Stinnett, Looper, Barden. Yay.
The strike zone is as wide as me.
mmmmm…..tight pu$$y
Yeah, Len & Bob the more pitches you see the better. Like hitting into a DP.
Would anyone else be in a bit better spirits if the Hank White-O-Meter had a flowing animated greasy mullet? I know I would.
God we’re fucking horrible.
Imagine what the playoffs would look like when we played real teams.
Great…we are back into this pattern. I liked it better when they were jacking it out of the park.
YOU GUYS LEFT ME AT HOME!!! IS SOMEONE COMING BACK TO GET ME?
Never fear, we’re due up.
Im gonna go take a 3 day coma and watch a clean slate 3 game series between us and the Brewers…where we both play different teams.
Ted settled a bit, so that’s good. GET SOME FUCKING RUNS.
We didn’t do much in the first, Get used to it assholes.
Screw you guys. Look at the scoreboard it’s nothing but goose eggs. Oh wait that’s us.
Brewers leading the Cards
This game even sucks in spanish.
Baby steps to first base…
Can I at least be bat boy once in a fuc!ing while?
You guys are going to be so embarrassed in about six days. Wow. I mean really bad.
We’re as done as dinner. See you next year.
Fuck this team.
At least the Bears are…oh wait. Shit.
Since Manson hasn’t played in a while he can still contribute. By turning his chainsaw on Monroe.
Even I can say that this is just game one of six. They only have to win four. Who am I kidding, where’s the nearest speeding bus?
Knock it off….there’s not much of us left to chew on.
3-0 Brewers. Please wake up. WAKE UP!!!
Just remember. No team since World War II has ever blown the lead the size the Cubs have in the final week of the season. So this will be history in the making.
3-0 Brewers.
Yo, Fingernails, booze will never let you down. Trust me.
I was full of shit when I said that Kool-Aid was better for you than sodas….I just never expected that many of you to drink so much of it!!!
I’m fat and hit home runs.
Fuck you guys.
Come on guys, we’re only famous for bad things.
Why does Sunday seem like a million years ago?
Can someone ‘splain why Monroe is still on the roster? Do we need a Madison and LaSalle as well?
The Whiners and Doomsdayers are out in force tonight.
How long before I boil over? Wed? Thur?
Guess what, we’re right.
Sod off. We’ve seen this movie before. It always the same ending.
Lilly is still giving us a shot with his worst stuff ever. Come on offense, help him (and us) out.
Odds that I never get smaller than 4?
Cards are threatening.
Wait a minute…. you mean that magic number business doesn’t mean we can text message in the final week?
Where was that in the fine print?
And instantly hit into a double play. FUCK.
Where’s my whiskey….im gonna get all kinds of fu(ked up by the end of this week!!
So, me by Friday?
Slaky,
Looks like the Tards were threatening to hit into a double play.
Shut the fuck up grandpa…not one of your goddamn senior circuit teams leading their division would even qualify for the Wild Card over here….face it…we’re the life of this party. Gotta go…. DH is sloppy drunk and her tops coming off.
This is just painful.
My favorite part of this message board.
Fan? Where? Lemme kick it!
I have NOTHING tonight.
Well im obviously running off of the fumes from Big-Z’s jerk rag.
Who isn’t a fan of pussy and ass?
Its already the 6th inning?
Ewwwww pussy!
4-0 Brewers in the 2nd.
Wait a second….let me get this $hit straight! You guys gave us 3 decent pitchers for that bum Frenchy McSlap and he left you as a free agent? Oh, thats rich.
I don’t like the looks of this. Brewers up 4-0, Cubs down 4-0?
Sorry, let me try again.
YAAAAAYYYY!!! The Cubs down 4-0 to the worst team in the NL and unable to get a hit off a pitcher having by far the worst year of his career! Meanwhile the Brewers are beating the hell out of a similarly bad team, and are going to be within 2 games of first by tonight! This is GREAT! This is AWESOME! I love it!!!!
Goooooooo Cubbies!!!!! I love you guys!!!!! Yayyyyy!!!!
We like hitting balls right at outfielders. We also like 1-2-3 innings when we’re batting.
I’m over. In fact I was over by the 2nd inning.
Hustle personified
Tonight just ain’t our night…
in 2003, the cubs were tied in the division.
stop the crying people.
come on.
This does suck, but I’m going to keep watching. Do hope the clubhouse staff chains down everything in the clubhouse though, because I suspect Lou is going to Katrina the place
It’s 90 some degrees and I doubt Willis is even sweating.
Yeah, come on!
We got a healthy Zambrano going in game five. We got Prior and Wood going in games six and seven AT Wrigley.
What could go wrong?
We could be the Mets right now. Oh wait, they have a couple WS rings already.
We’re a gutless bunch of slap dicks.
Weurtz looking pretty good. Mets losing and the Phillies winning, which could put the Mets at risk of kicking the whole thing, not all bad out there.
And we know how well the 2003 season ended.
Another lead off walk. Here’s where Willis’ wheels fall off. Let’s try some positive. Who’s with me?
Right here bitches
YOU SEE THAT SHIT?? IT WORKED!!!
Doges
Craig Monroe? Really?
Craig Monroe? I…..(passes out)
Monroe actually did something useful?
More positive. Lets go Cubs.
If I do one thing right all season, let it be that.
I attribute that dinger to Slaky…POSITIVITY!!
Who knew?
Fucking right. Slaky, more positive from you.
Manson! Just kill the ball.
Im going to keep watching.
Its puts the lotion in the basket
Come on Reginald!
The wheels are coming off. Get on base Jason.
Two out rally?
C’mon Sori. Base hit now.
Dontrelle is fading fast.
is as good as a hit.
Just get on base Alf.
NO question marks Taylor
C’mon Dontrelle
I hope Len’s right and they do let D-Train try to finish. He looks really tired.
Or not.
So much for that.
4-1 Brewers. C’mon Tards.
the cards accidentally scored. Their bad.
I think I started the positive a little too late.
But the Cubs can hold them here and get three in the ninth. Yes sir they can.
Just hold it to two….
And here come the Tards. Yes sir they can.
Meanwhile, 4-1 Cards on 2nd and 3rd Spezio up. Hope he had a pick me up.
If Willis is done then please someone tell me that the Marlins pen is Brewers bad.
One down…nice job Hart. Lets go.
I blew a save in my last outing. So there’s that.
Thanks the Genius– Looper faces Suppan with the bases loaded 2 outs.
Larussa is letting Looper hit with the bases loaded. What a dick.
Instead of bases loaded and a typical 8th hitter up, it happens to be a P.
#187, I just said those are hot guys. I kid you not.
Way to look at strike 3 Looper.
Olivo owns us. How???
How do the shitty Marlins own the Cubs?
I’m such a douchebag
Hart does his job. We need some positive.
is this me?
I’m going to try this positive thing. Heart of the order. We’re good.
Hart gets it done. Here we go. Three runs in the blink of an eye, I shit you not. Positive.
hart to heart you guys ….awwwweeee.
Lets give the Brewers a big shitburger!!!
Blow me, Marlins
Bring on the positive. I think I keep mine behind my dresser.
Back2Back jacks
The ump is me.
We aint done yet boys.
I think it’s time.
Lee on, I’m still watching.
Use the Force, Han Soto
I’m a Brewers fan, don’t you know?
I’ve got my own area code.
I hope I come up. In a tie game.
Flare
I need a punch in the nuts.
…is Aramis Ramirez in the showers? To beat the crowd?
He got tossed 220
Surprised to see that Lou is still in the game.
I need a quick oil change!
Fletcher is a fraud. But if Brenly knew he’d have a wide zone (which he said in the FIRST FUCKING INNING) why didn’t the Cubs know this?
did he get tossed? Outside of just being plain angry?
From one Taylor to another. Fuck up. Big time.
Shit. Pat just said “Cubbies”…I don’t like dat shit.
not tonight
This game sucked me.
Positive doesn’t work for me. Hell, negative doesn’t either. We’re screwed.
Tomorrow, we’ll get them back tomorrow. At least there is a tomorrow.
Buck up, boys and girls. There is a tomorrow and the Cubs will see it.
This game started me.
What are the Cubs supposed to do with the pitches a foot off the plate? As a hitter, you’re defenseless there.
Now that the game is over, I can stop stressing. I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am calm. Tomorrow will be good. I’m positive. And the bourbon is helping.
There’s no collpase here. This was the inevitable hangover. Next two games are W.
TJ,
I admire your confidence. I wish I could share it. I hope you’re right.
T.J……Yeah! Taylor…..hmmmm. I don’t know what to think. Maybe more bourbon will help.
Unfuckingbelievable. Because of the result I’m not quite as upset I couldn’t watch the game here in Peoria, but this is the second time in the last week that Comcast has put the goddamn White Sox against the Royals on instead of the Cubs. Someone needs to tell those retards that that isn’t good business.
I’m slipping away. 7-1 Brewers.
2004 all over again…
This can’t be 2004 can it?
No, it’s not 2004. It’s not even close you dopes.
I almost want to take tomorrow off and sit in rocking chair and count the minutes until tomorrow night’s game. Cubs win handily, by the way. Bitches.
It’s not 2003 or 2004, it’s 2007. The Cubs came in having won like 10 of 12 and ran into a great pitcher with some of his better stuff. Chill out. We just have to win four games, even if Milwaukee wins out.
I’m not saying I enjoyed tonight I just think we shouldn’t panic because we lost by 2 runs to a great pitcher on the road.
Did anyone bother to look at the other NL leaders tonight? Mets lose to the Nats, DBacks lose to Pissburgh, Cubs lose to Marlins. One night does not a collapse make. I am willing to bet dollars to Hendrys that the same Cubs “fans” who announced that the division was wrapped up over the weekend are the same ones freaking out tonight. Calm the fuck down. We faced a good pitcher who is better than his stats tonight. Two or three, then we can talk…
Welcome to the club, 2007!!
We really are going to blow this thing, aren’t we?
Logic and common sense would dictate that the chances of the Brewers coming back are slim, but as I’ve found over the year, common sense and logic have no place in the mind of a Cubs fan.
Or, alternately, you have those of us long-time fans who have been freaking out since Sunday and all the Cubs did last night was provide more fuel and evidence to our anxiety fire.
Maybe we should actually beat the damn Marlins once this season before planning the division title champagne shower?
This thread is an embarassment. Glad I didn’t take part. First fucking loss in a week and some of you guys are calling for a collapse. Buncha damn drama queens here.
What you just said, however, is typical of the level of phobia and illogic associated with conspiracy theories. “you have those of us long-time fans who have been freaking out since Sunday and all the Cubs did last night was provide more fuel and evidence to our anxiety fire.” This is the classic observer-expectancy effect; you hold this theory and then every bit of evidence fits that theory, like 911 truth or global warming bs. I understand the frustration and the history of the Cubs, as I am a long-timer – been to every opening day for 18 straight years, even in college – but when you look for failure, you are going to find failure. This kind of thinking has to kill the club, because no matter what they do, they’ll never overcome the past. Give it some time and chill out.
Global warming is real, and so is the possibility (probability?) of a Cubs collapse if they don’t take care of business tonight in Florida.
Yes, we still have the cleats on the Brewers’ throats. But we have yet to use them. Forgive us if the Cubs’ history makes us a little less than confident right now about that…
I should have said the alarmism surround GW advocates, not GW itself; the planet changes. I don’t think we are coming to a collapse, but we need to work, as you said. I just oppose the ledge-work from some of the posters here.
Brian Griese is our Quarter Back….
I definitely change the course of events 2,000 miles away. Keep me-ing.