Hey, it’s both of my fans!
Pitching matchup:
Astros: Ralph Kelvin Chris Sampson 0-0, 0.00 ERA
Cubs: Rich Hill, 0-0, 0.00 ERA
Shop the Desipio/Pointless Exercise Store
Hey, it’s both of my fans!
Pitching matchup:
Astros: Ralph Kelvin Chris Sampson 0-0, 0.00 ERA
Cubs: Rich Hill, 0-0, 0.00 ERA
BRAVE!
Play Ball!
aren’t we?
USA! USA! USA!
Kinda late when the ballgame hasn’t even started yet?
Moran.
From Detroit: Great Visability!
I’m an odd song for a team… This team, anyway…
When it’s usually posted before 1:00? Yeah.
Fuckhead.
One pitch, one out.
Send In The Clowns is far more appropriate
It is clearly apparent that the only thing that isn’t late is my period.
On the ESPN GameTracker thing you can actually see the pop-ups go up with some lame little animation. I’m now rooting for pop-ups.
Rich blows. He’s supposed to groove the first pitch.
Suck my tampon!
You know, Kinda Late, I usually take place before the ballgame starts.
Brick Red is pretty!
This is April, Andy. I think E-ramis will give you plenty of pop ups.
Hill owns the Crashtros: 2-0 sub-3 ERA for brief, but illustrious, career…and go far so good today
My nickname is back for 2008!
My computer told me it was supposed to be 60 today.
Come on, Ryan. You’ve been averaging like .8 pitched per at bat.
I only need one pitch to get out
It’s supposed to be 60 tomorrow dipshit
I think #14 must be Carrie Muskrat
Hey Ben if you’re around, and any MLB.TV customer:
I just got the fake IP address thing to work, I will post the details + instructions on Desipio later today.
Good thing I took my B12 shot today!
Fuck ’em.
Looks I need a shot right about now.
What is this “strike zone” of which you speak?
Mild Thing! I think I loathe you!
I’m just trying to keep Soto on his toes and give him a good workout
Like I’ve said, Hill is just another Shawn Estes.
Oh, Chuck is bringing it!
#1
I’m going back to the Japanese league for a challenge. Man, the pitching sucks here.
Oh, Chuck is eating it!
Oh, Chuck is beating it!
#6-4-3
Or was it
#4-6-3
I don’t care
Looks like my awesome GIDP skills are carrying over from the playofffs
Last year, my first full year as a starter, I had an ERA+ of 119, meaning I was 19% better than the league average pitcher.
In 9 major league seasons, Estes bested that once, and was below average in 6 of them.
I am better.
Yay!
The beverage of choice for some of you mopes
Ground Chuck. I am cooking it!
Hey Rich, good for you. Noww e should trade you while teams still remember that part of your game.
I’ll be going wild on the bases now. Thanks Dick!
# 25 – please share – I’m blacked out by mlb to force me to watch the game on their feed of choice except it isn’t on TV here. Bastards!
And you thought the Cubs didn’t take pitches
They call me “Double Play DeRosa.” Everytime somebody gets on first, you know I am grounding one to short.
OK, if you want to pretend to be me, please do it with a little less style. You’re making me look decent.
20 pitches for 8 outs. That’s almost impossible.
Great, someone pretending to be Chuck. Just what his ego needs.
Didn’t I used to be a shortstop? I remember a game I pitched against the Cubs two summers ago where I gave up one hit I’m pretty sure.
Don’t you love a pitching duel?
Those two out walks. They’ll kill you.
Occasionally.
JR Towles looks like Phil Nevin and Matt Murton had a baby.
Well, Ted. The Estes should have been a tip off. Nothing can compare to the great Shawn Estes!
Towles is going to hit a lot more than either of those guys though. That kid is serious.
My suspension is almost over, mang
Gameday is all screwy, where did the 3rd out come from?
Hey #46 Tulsacubsfan and any other blackout victims, just finished my instructional tutorial crapfest of a post at Desipio for the MLB.TV blackout solution.
https://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=5778.0
Nevermind, they fixed it
How’s are team batting average doing?
Hell, I could go 12 innings at this pace.
Does Theriot have a side job that makes him rush through at bats? I used to think this guy was a smart player.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
This offense will get you no better than me.
31 pitches through four innings. You suck.
I do this all the time.
Cancer joke in 3…2…1
Herro, I am the onry Cubs prayer who can hit.
I’m a threat to steal?
Rich Hill is still my favorite 37 year old gay female pitcher the Cubs have ever had. Paul Sullivan should do a poll on which Indigo Girls song Rich comes out to
Ron Santo just tried to get me on the radio.
By comes out, I assume you mean closet, and not to pitch.
I think Rich Hill was in me
I think Rich Hill was in me too.
Rich Hill was definitely in me
Attaboy, A Ram. Why waste any time?
I am become of new goatse man! Anal fissure for ereryone!
I’m a hit away from making things interesting. Go me!
Mark Derosa has to be the dumbest smart player ever. He just plays so stupidly, no wonder the Cubs want a new 2nd bagger.
WHAT????
The Cubs Love me!
Rich Hill luuvs me…
I just played dumb, to try and get Corey to say Anal Fissure on the air.
Can Sampson be excused for the remainder of the game?
Testicle Torsions, Anal Fissures, what the hell is going on here?
Mark Prior: 15-Day DL due to vaginal fissure
Roger Clemens: 15-Day DL due to inflamed buttocks
Just referenced on CSN
Hi guys
Thanks for the shout out Len!
Let me show you punk bitches how its done
goatse! goatse! hello.jpg! Come on! Don’t make me post that image, you’ll all get fired from your jobs that you’re not doing right now.
Who knew
Just like that I’ll be starting tomorrow
Felix who!?
I don’t recall hearing this
Do I get to come up when Johnson starts?
Watching this team on offense is going to be a challenge.
For all his wussedness, Richie pitched pretty well, today. I mean, you can’t expect the Cubs to actually hit Chris Sampson.
I’m…uh…wide.
Tolerating Chuck on gamecasts is going to be a challenge.
So what did Len say about Desipio calling him Felix Pennsylvania?
Is Chris Sampson on me? He should be
101. It’s been that way for going on five years now. You’ll get used to it.
We own these assholes!
Len said that “the smart alecks at Desipio” refer to Felix Pie as me. Bob followed it up by how routine it is to hear the “pie” pronounciation of “pee-ey”.
Ahh, nice. Thanks.
Hey, an infield hit for E-ramis! Oh, that boy can scoot.
Screw this, maybe we ought to just field a team of all Japanese guys?
Infield single by Ramirez
Two on. One out.
Perfect time for me to hit into another double play.
#1 (Duplicate Comment Detect’d)
Aramis needs to unhitch me.
Damn! I didn’t hit it hard enough. Only a single play.
I tried my DAMNDEST to hit into that 5-4-3
I suck balls
If they pitch to Soto, Cecil will get fired before the game ends.
Oops. Guess he’s fired.
The website cannot display the page
New DesipiFad?
CLUTCH
This kid can hit.
yeah
“Young man, there’s a place you can go….”
This kid, can’t.
How ’bout we give me a shot tomorrow?
Soto versus Pie.
Hmmm….Go up against a guy who has put pretty good wood on the ball all day, or walk him and go against a guy who can’t hit sheeeaaatttt.
Hey ogdens! I play well to*fart!*day, no? *belch* *pfert!*
You know my number right?
Why do these Desipiots think I’m gassy?
Again, I’m a threat to steal?
1-800-you-actually-suck-at-baseball?
Because you are fat. Fat people that run get gas.
That was one of the laziest fuckin plays you will ever see folks
I have no range, eh?
I’m melting! I’m melting!
How does that error look now?
Pretty bad when I am the defensive star of a half inning.
FAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRT
Would Tejada have tripled if a stiff like me was in left?
CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!
Yes??? You guys PLEASE trade for me. Angelos keeps giving me bedroom eyes from the luxury boxes everytime I get in the on deck circle. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!
PS – Felix Pie would be 2nd string CF in Baltimore
Brian, Felix would be a 4th String anywhere. At best. Even in Iowa.
Thank god we are leading off. All we do is get on base.
GRIT!
What did A Sor do in left this time?
Pat says I’ll tie the game with a long ball – but I think I’ll just get out. I really suck now, and I’d rather get out of the public eye faster.
Time for me to stink this place up with my shitty hitting!
*farttttth*
*poot!*
Aramis fart jokes. Not funny. At all.
No shit, Sherlock
RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPP
There goes my ass again.
I’m at second. Great?
Lou has lost his mind.
…From Bad to Wuertz!
I definitely shouldn’t hit higher in the order.
Prepare for meltdown in T-Minus 4 lost games and counting.
I feel like I’m sitting on a thumbtack, watching this.
Why was I taken out?
Sorryasso at second, DeRosa at short, me in left. We’ll have brutal defense, but just maybe we’ll hit.
Okay Lou, you want Soriano at 2B and DeRosa over to 3B? Who you think we should put in LF now? Someone fast right??
Oh Daryl Ward? That makes perfect sense.
We’re 0-4.
I lack any home field advantage.
Prepare to see my overcelebrating fat ass at the bottom of this inning
Hell I put a pitcher in left field last night. How do you like dem apples?
I’ll be my usual charming self in the postgame.
Don’t worry guys…Im in his pouch…and I think there’s a piece of Sam Fuld’s arm in here to my left but that won’t get in my way.
My name means “Five Alarm Flaming Asshole” in Spanish.
I’m the Lord of The Dance!
Wow…that’s what my name means in Japanese too. Crazy.
Let two in, drive one in.
Nice of him to hit a homer when nobody is on
I’ve got heart, man!
Its been fun, can’t wait until the next game.
So much for getting off to me. Good thing we have so many home games in September…
Turn me out. The party is over.
The game? Or the season?
The game. I posted that before Pie even took his cut.
We were turds too. We sucked so badly, that we started 0-3 and 1-4, losing games by scores of 4-1, 10-2, 7-3 and 8-0 in those first five games.
We never recovered.
Find the ledge, assholes, and jump!
I’m ready when you need me.
Nice fuckin’ effort from my dumb ass today
Flap Flap Flappity Flap Flap
See you again soon, ogdens!
Some us aren’t on the ledge. We just like poking fun at the fukkwits who play for our favorite team.
I’m a funny word.
Yes, please, give me your frustrated, your annoying, your douchey. Then tickets might be cheaper.
Exactly.
PS- I prefer fucktard, but fuckwits works.
Toma-toe-tomato
Pie-Pennsylvania
make me laugh, even on computer.
looks like I missed a lot of cubs not hitting and hilarious fart jokes today.
bad game, entertaining gamecast…seems most of the d-rockets took their ball and went home until the next big game.
icle
I took my wife’s name.
Hank’s been sippin on Z’s energy drank
Thank you Mr. Umpire