Remember all that drivel you said about black guys and day games? You’re such a dumbass!
Pitching matchup:
Reds: Josh Fogg, 1-1, ERA = Touchdown!
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano, 1-1, 3.20 ERA
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Remember all that drivel you said about black guys and day games? You’re such a dumbass!
Pitching matchup:
Reds: Josh Fogg, 1-1, ERA = Touchdown!
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano, 1-1, 3.20 ERA
Well golly gee willickers Mr. Piniella, I think leading off would be just swell!
Hey guys, sup?
I’m hitting .222 in Iowa! It’s like I’m related to Korey or something!
Hey gang! Smashing to see you all again! I’ve brought a date friend.
Reds
Patterson, CF
Keppinger, SS
Griffey, RF
Phillips, 2B
Dunn, LF
Encarnacion, 3B
Votto, 1B
Valentin, C
Fogg, P
Cubs
Fontenot, 2B
Theriot, SS
Lee, 1B
Ramirez, 3B
Fukudome, RF
DeRosa, LF
Soto, C
Johnson, CF
Zambrano, P
Lou said I was starting every game against the Reds. Uh, Lou?
Oh, you’re starting. On the bench.
Shouldn’t Vag Face be hitting 2nd if he’s in the lineup? Maybe the little Cajuns can’t bear to be apart.
It’s the daily double! Two outs for the price of one.
We’re the 2007 OBP of the top two hitters tonight.
Are the Cubs batting the 7-8 hitters 1-2 to honor Dusty?
Dusty. I’m not starting? Why not? I was 1-3 yesterday. Oh, it was that base clogging mistake I made. Sorry.
Bako, Dude, I gotta keep you fresh for the long haul. You’ll be in when I make the first double switch. In the third inning.
On CSN+. Actually, if you want to see the game, John Paxson will pick you up at your house and bring you down to the UC.
Hey, just cuz I’m little doesn’t mean I can’t have an enormous bat. You people and your stereotypes are so hurtfull.
Dusty, I noticed that I’m not in the line up tonight. Any way you can pencil me in?
Did anybody see the hilarious interview I did with Kerry Sayers yesterday? The one where I said that Dusty didn’t cause a plague or kill Kennedy and he wasn’t Jack the Ripper in London? I did add though that Dusty did once shart in the whirlpool and it gave Mark Prior sepsis.
I don’t get to drink coffee any more, but I feel good tonight. Neifi gave me some M and M’s!
My big knob got me the start tonight.
Feel the electricity! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Man, I hope Carlos doesn’t give me a swrily tonight.
Did EPat make it to the park on time tonight?
This might be letting my ego get a little too large, but I can write better than Pie can hit right now.
That’s it Korey dude, hack away at everything. Nice quick at bat.
Nice jersey’s Cubs. You look like…blueberries!
No, BC. No you can’t.
We are ugly.
We’re on now, BC. How about you just obsess about us tonight?
We’re quick.
8 pitches dudes! That’s what I like to see!
That efficient first inning was Dempster-esque.
I’m slugging .550! Or four times my weight!
At this rate, Zambrano could go 15 innings
“Josh Fogg came up huge for the Rockies last season.”
True, but they were so sure he could keep it up, they asked him to try it on any other team.
Wait, did Fontenot and Theriot go to college together? Why didn’t anybody mention this?
All this power is making me plummet.
Much like Jim Edmonds. I love the two hole!
Is it hot out here, or is it just me?
First and third with one out. Where have I heard this before?
what am I covering up exactly? discuss
Apparently I brought the 0-2 hit by pitch strategy to the Reds! It worked great in Chicago.
Sacrifice fly… Sacrifice fly… Sacrifice fly…
I wasn’t there Bob! Lou took me.
Who is this Granny of whom you speak?
Does anyone have Josh Fogg’s number? I heard he drilled a guy in the ass with a ball.
At least now I don’t have to pretend to run to first.
He does that.
It’s hard to find a nice piece of ash these days.
we should play the reds every day. maybe a double header
Well, what’s half a Granny?
2-0 Cubs.
I’ll take a double to bring in two runs…
You may now shove your “spray charts” up your ass. I hit ’em where I want to.
i am the shaft, balls and tits.
Aren’t we fun? Dusty hates me though!
Damn I am fun to watch.
I’m just enjoying watching the max effort Adam Dunn gives out there in left. It’s inspirational, really.
Can someone get that ball for me?
I love Cincinnati. I’m going to name my next two kids Herb Tarlek DeRosa and Baily Quarters DeRosa.
Check out the Yahoo! boxscore. I still have that creepy smile on my face.
Hey guys! Anybody want an HJ?
As God as my witness. I thought Josh Fogg could fly.
Touchdown and a fieldgoal! Yay.
Josh if you’re in trouble I can have Merker up in no time.
Wasn’t Les Nessman responsible for the “flying turkeys”?
I am the Giant Killer, I only beat the great pitchers.
You know, when I get 10 or 11 runs of support.
Double, single, double, double, wild pitch. I wonder what the Reds would want for Josh Fogg?
4 runs won’t win this ball game. Steve you know a little bit about ‘ball’ games dont you?
I was doing the radio call from the parking lot. “It’s a helicopter, and it’s coming this way. It’s flying something behind it, I can’t quite make it out, it’s a large banner and it says, uh – Happy… Thaaaaanksss… giving! … From … W … K … R… P!! No parachutes yet. Can’t be skydivers… I can’t tell just yet what they are, but – Oh my God, Johnny, they’re turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they’re plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this!”
It was actually Arthur Carlson who said the line about thinking turkeys could fly.
Fuck this. I’m throwing my no hitter tonight.
Santo’s inability to pronounce words (fine mgr chicago cubs) always makes me smile.
In the latest bullshit radio spot he calls Seattle Sutton’s meals “so damn” restricted instead of sodium.
I love Dusty Baker’s teams. The Reds are down 4-0, Zambrano had an 8-pitch inning, and one of their best hitters swings at 3 of the first 4 pitches to strike out while leading off the second inning.
I said nothing about a perfect game.
What I lack in defense I make up for in VORP.
That’s child abuse.
If the Cubs win, and if the Cardinals win, and if the playoffs started tomorrow, the Cubs would be in the playoffs.
No. 68 dont talk about no-hitters especially after only four outs.
Hey, my first inning was just like Dempster’s last night. So will be the second! Walkity, walkity!
Cancel the postgame show.
I got quite a jump on that one.
I don’t know if this has been at all covered, but, why does Lou hate Felix Pie? I know he struck out 3 times last night. But would he play him against the Reds best pitcher last night and not against Josh Fogg tonight? Even accounting for the lost offense from missing Soriano…
Just asking.
And on that one. Wow, the ball is finding me tonight.
fucking hell
why the fuck can’t anyone ever catch a flyball?
Hah! I told you bitches it was hard to see the ball this time of night!
Santo actually had a great line a moment ago about Fielder becoming a vegetarian and said that the idea was baloney…
And DeRosa is playing left field like an expert. Guh.
Fuck this, I’m taking care of it myself.
What was that? A successful run down? Never heard of it.
Guh is a registered trademark of Desipio Media Ventures. BC you owe me a barrell of crude oil.
I hate this fucking park.
How did Votto get a ground rule double? The ivy hasn’t grown back yet.
nice one throw run down that is fundementally sound now lets unload some istructional VHS tapes boys.
Oleg, I have no idea why Pie isn’t playing. I’d like to see him get some more at bats.
He probably humped Lou’s daughter(s).
DeRosa Jock’d an easy flyball and it bounced off the track over the wall
Andy,
You mean my time as a quasi-employee years ago didn’t give me limted rights to all trademarks of Desipio Media Ventures?
THIS is why I don’t write for you any longer, this lack of loyalty. Well, that and I sucked at writing.
Maybe we should take this to the board, but it’s not a case of the number of at bats, it’s putting him in a position to succeed, that’s all. Oh well, screw it. At least he can catch a fly ball.
Thanks, Pre.
Watch the Pie defendin’ boys (#79, #90). Kerm’s liable to flame you as some sort of starry-eyed sun-deprived basement dweller.
Why does Eric Patterson have a big one of me around his neck?
Well, let’s see..
2007: 215/271/333
2008: 154/185/154
I can’t imagine why Lou isn’t playing me every day.
And yes, I know I’m young. I’m also on a team that says it’s a World Series contender.
Check out this booger I just picked! Whoa!
Don’t sell yourself short, you’re an incredible slouch.
Hey Felix, it’s not HOW many at bats, it’s againt whom you get them.
I’m with you, Oleg. I would only point out that the rest of the lineup seemed to be able to figure out Harang last night.
And when you say ‘take this to the board’, are you suggesting some sort of skateboarding competition to settle this?
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/1499909/5115198
I lead of next inning 20 bucks says I swing at the first pitch and miss.
oh and 20 bucks says the Smails kid eats it!
I am not doing too bad. .283 ave. with OBP of .350, not bad.
Hey 96! I was young and sucked for the first month on a World Series champ. I turned out to be pretty good.
Dusty wants me to be more like Juan Pierre. How am I doing?
#96 is right.
Mitch Webster should have been in center field in ’89. And Lloyd Mcclendon should have gotten all the starts in left instead of sharing them with that youngster Dwight Smith. I mean, we had a chance to go to the World Series!!!
Thanks Andy for the, um, support. I do have a job now, albeit at a radio station. So instead of writing crap nobody can understand and not get paid for it, I say crap nobody can understand AND get paid for the pleasure!
I will admit that I’m pleasantly surprised about The Riot. Let Cedeno rot (until The Riot starts regressing).
And, watch it, RV. I’ll skateboard the shit out of this place. Can you say *shit* here?
Dustin Pedroia’s April last year:
BA – .250
OBA – .338
SLG – .310
Runs – 10
2Bs – 7
HR – 0
RBI – 5
K – 14
BB – 16
You’re April wasn’t great, but you weren’t Felix Pie.
How many times can one say *The Riot* in a post? I guess I’m unclear about the rules of this place.
Can I still hop with this boot on?
Why is Bruce Pearl standing in the seats with a microphone?
And Derrek Lee is unbefuckinglievable right now.
DLee!
This “you can’t play Pie because this may be a World Series team! OMG OMG” hysteria seems to operate under the assumption that the Cubs have the second coming of Willie Mays in centerfield as an alternative to Pie.
Reed Johnson, people! This is the guy that makes us a World Series team? And Hendry just got him off waivers? Holy cow what a tremendous stroke of good luck. Looks like our fortunes ARE changing!
Hold on D. Lee let me get a silver platter for you here you go…
Holy crap, did you see me next to Derrek in the dugout? I look like Fontenot is on Theriot’s shoulders and they’re wearing a novelty baseball jersey.
How old am I, 27?
I think you can’t play Felix right now because he wasn’t just 0-4 last night he was completely overmatched. It was embarrassing. Like 2005 right before he got demoted Corey Patterson bad.
fukudome really needs to hit 2 in front of Lee right now
I guess what scares me is that right now your outfield is two almost fast white guys and Fukkake left to cover the rest (which is most of it.)
Yeah Andy, but getting him some at bats against a ass pitcher might help him get going.
DeRosa you base clogger!
I’m fine batting fifth right now. It’s like me and Derrek are making an E-ramis sandwich!
Al, get us a shitload of waxed paper!
Dusty I can get us out of this mess. Trust me.
is *comically* bad right now. The team’s on a hot streak, they just lost one of their best hitters — is this really the right time to be throwing him in there for seasoning?
And yeah, he might be the next Dustin Pedroia, but he might also be the next Corey Patterson.
Right now, to Felix, there is no such thing as an ass pitcher.
Tell me more about this ass pitching.
Soto? Who’s this guy? Where’s Mike DeFelice?
It’s raining me.
Someone please kill me.
Why not let the kid play? Alf has been a giant ball of suck this season…WORSE than Pie. Now that said ball of suck is out, why not let the younger ball of suck see if he can figure things out? At least his defense is good.
I almost had that one.
Never mind Felix, which one of us wins Rookie of the Year?
Smitty, take a deep breath, and a valium.
Fukky, you take the ROY, I’ve got the MVP.
I would be a great beer league softball player this MLB game requires way to much running.
You’re right, Smitty. When I saw that Fogg had nothing, I should have immediately taken Johnson out and let Felix play. Why didn’t I think of that.
175/230/298 is horrible, but it’s a hell of a lot better than Felix’s numbers. Note my 4 walks, 1 double, and 2 homers, which are better than 0, 0, and 0.
Do we really need to be making things up?
Let’s give Dustin Eggelseder a hand! And the rest of that arm!
I just want you nitwits to suck on my .382 on base average.
Reed made an out! He made an out!
Why is there another run on the board?
As much as I’d like to see Pie playing, it’s perfectly arguable that he shouldn’t.
Claiming Soriano shouldn’t be playing due to a slow start is idiotic (screwed up ankle aside).
There’s a difference between proven players starting slow and unknown caliber players.
Uh, 136, I sucked long before this game started.
Lou, I wasn’t advocating making a switch in the 3rd inning. I was wondering why Lou didn’t keep his word. The Cubs have been covering two black holes in the lineup and, with Sori out, they’d be down to one with Pie in the lineup.
We found something Adam Dunn does slower than run.
Throw.
9-1. Carlos might be in the LF mix now.
Smitty, are you calling a fake me a liar?
You don’t want to be treated like a man!
http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-4130277.html
I hope all the running the bases doesn’t make Carlos ineffective in the fourth.
The Cubs have had enough BP. When does the game start?
We are getting no hit through 3. Cards up 3-0
Calm down. Lou is no Dusty. He won’t waste young talent. If its best for Pie to sit I trust Uncle Lou on this one. However, if the lead does continue to grow perhaps Reed or Derosa could take a breather early.
This isn’t me. My teams don’t play like this. Dude.
Dusty am I going to rot out here?
I’ve seen it happen too many times.
Smitty is racist.
Lou sat my ass for two months and gave me another shot. Calm down. By the way, I’m loving Detroit right now. We’re awesome!
I don’t know about you guys but I’d like to get the fuck out of left tonight.
Walk’s as good as an out!
just to be clear, I didn’t want Pie breaking camp with the club. However, if the Cubs insist on having him on the 25-man roster, he needs to be playing, not rotting on the bench.
Friggin’ base cloggers.
I love the patience (and the killing the ball) that the Cubs are showing today.
I can attest that Felix is rotting on the bench. And it smells like he had eggs for breakfast.
I love how gameday removed the strikezone box so bad calls aren’t so obvious.
Notice the Cubs have been doing more and more of this as Piniella’s time here has continued?
Notice how they did less and less of it while Dusty was here?
Notice how the records have gone over those spans?
Imagine how bad the Reds are going to be in 2 or 3 years!
And let me be clear, Smitty, that when I was a young girl growing up in Illinois or Indiana or Pennsylvania or wherever the next primary is, my father and I used to do shots of Canadian Mist behind the garage and shoot a .12 gauge into our neighbor’s yard.
And Obama’s a muslim who hates guns, does cocaine and makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X.
I fouled a ball off my bicep. Kids don’t try this at home.
Why are those all questions?
Why is Ram trying to kill himself?
Scrappity scrap scraperoo!
I hate cracka ass crackas
I think I just realized why fans of other teams think Dusty is a great manager. It’s fun as hell to play his teams!
aggressive base running when up 8 in the 3rd inning.
Don’t worry, Dusty. Just because you are on pace to give up 30 runs doesn’t mean you will.
Actually, you might.
#163, surely you mean he makes Malcolm X look like Bryant Gumbel.
Not aware Lee hit a HR today. Still talking about how Bill Hall is leading the league in HRs.
You’re thinking of the other Gumbel, 163. Greg has hated whitey ever since he met Seth Davis.
We should have stayed home and played with ourselves.
ESPN2 has a baseball game on tonight. It’s a rarely nationally televised matchup between the Yankees of New York and the Red Sox of Boston. I’ve never seen such a thing.
Those perverts better stay at home. Because I will bust their asses.
Am I too old to sit on Dad’s lap at the postgame presser?
Am I the Dos Equis “most interesting man in the world?” Those commercials are ludicrously enjoyable. (At least so far.)
VORP!!!!!!
Carlos Zambrano is not dominating! Get me that phone!
I think I saw something about the Yankees playing the Red Sox today. It was sometime last week, and Jimmy Roberts was doing the voiceover.
“If you’re looking for the Bulls finale…you have a serious gambling problem.”
Back to bed Darren! I told you curfew was at 8. This is fundamentals camp, not a freakin computer camp.
Andy- I only do this for your enjoyment so I can talk in trailing and excited sentences that are never finished and usually incoherent. Also, the reason for CC Sabbathias demise was how many innings he pitched. However, pitcihng a lot of innings only works if you are playing for the Atlanta Braves.
Don’t worry dudes in a couple more months of my managing this team that will be a double play.
Apr 16: Glenn Rabney, of MLB.com, reports Los Angeles Dodgers SP Brad Penny will pitch Wednesday, April 16, against the Pittsburgh Steelers.
In different circumstances, Derrek Lee and I could be close friends.
I’m a lot bigger tonight than last night.
In 14 games this season, I’ve reached base in 13 of them. And I’ve reached in every big league game that I’ve played right field in.
The only time I didn’t was the night in Philly when I played center. And I even reached as a pinch hitter one night.
The Cubs are up 9. Lets get the hell out of here.
Let’s get this over with already!
Damn it Dusty, bring in Mercker already!
Hey, all you Felix apologists. Is it really that impossible for a rookie to hit in the big leagues?
Suck it.
Dusty I can turn this blow out into…well an even bigger blow out.
It’s 10-1? Now’s the time I’d hit two homers! On either side of the blowout.
Hey Geo, ya think your consistent playing time might have a little bit to do with your success?
Yes, all rookies are equally talented!
Christ.
10 runs on nine hits?
I must be a typo.
Watching your favorite pitcher get lit up.
Well, Dusty, this one is for you.
Hey Lou, can I get in and pitch a few innings? What’s the wuertz that could happen?
Mike, let’s get up 17-1, and then maybe.
This things over. My favorite episode is when Johnny and Venus had a drinking contest on the air. “I AM the air”-Venus Flytrap.
Hits from both sides of the plate tonight, doges!
I hit better than Pie.
says that Z just got a single off his knee.
204, BUT YOU GET CONSISTENT PLAYING TIEM!!!!!!!
I am almost as good as time.
I get to bat every 5 days. That’s consistent playing TIEM?
Actually Carlos, you’ve already hit in six of the 14 games.
I wish 207 and 208 would get me more often.
more fun than sarcasm
Every tiem man.
Let me just itch your arm pit for you Kosuke.
Did Vince Lloyd bequeath all his remaining H A Hair Arranger to Bob Bremley?
You dudes remember when you just used to make fun of me?
very proud that they have the most african american players on ther 25-man roster. Largely why Dusty feels like they have an advantage in day games
We’re doing a great job of not clogging the bases tonight. I’ve got some talented dudes that know how to play the game my way.
VORP is in the air.
You mean like 10 minutes ago, 215? Yes, I do.
I’m funny AND I have a mustache. How awesome am I?
This traffic report was brought to you by Old Style and Dole Bananas
I just entered the game for the Yankees. Hilarity ought to ensue. For the Red Sox.
What a wonderful night for Howry to get some work, but not more than 4 runs worth. So 2/3 an inning?
MA! TUrn on ESPN2, I’m on national TV!
Jesus Lee is on a tear.
Bow before my .400 average, infidels.
Seriously Lou, let me pitch. I don’t think I could screw this up.
I can go what myself?
Derek is seeing me at the plate.
I’m glad I don’t have that oriental dude on my team. He clogs the bases too much, dude.
I swear to God, Felix, don’t fuck up.
I just chucked my glove at a come backer up the middle in the Brewers/Cards game.
Ron just said he and Pat are getting a lot of written faxes tonight. Is there some new technology I’m missing out on?
nUTS
And Aardsma just drill ARod. Sweet.
Am I related to Black Jesus?
Remember when I coined the term getting an Aardsma? How fun was that?
I played with “all time greats.” Sadly I was not one of them, but hope to be by association at some point in my life.
Probably handwritten messages run through a fax machine.
Though you never know with Ron.
I keep reading the banner at the bottom as “Feel the excrement.”
Aardsma. Check the Urban Dictionary, chief.
Welcome back Kent.
Don’t criticize me!
Y’all got your wish. Here’s Kent!
Got duck?
Hitting Carlos is good at. Baserunning? Not so much.
Z’s making a case for the new LFer
Three hit night and Z neglects to slide. Thank god.
That was a strike. Len, you hear that? That was a strike.
A cocksucker is me.
That’s the Merck we know and love.
Carlos couldn’t handle left. I mean you have to be graceful out there. Oh, never mind.
Pitcher doubles. Advances to third on a wild pitch. Scores when a dwarf singles to left.
This is all going according to plan.
This is not me. My teams don’t play like this.
Hey Cub fans, how come you’re not booing me?
I think you’ll see more of me.
Hey Chip and Steve? You see that strikeout? That’s for you, jerk stores!
On Sunday, Ron was bitching about how we weren’t scoring any runs, even though on the road trip we’d scored 23 runs in three games in Pissburgh.
With the 11 tonight, we are averaging 7.5 runs per game. That seems like a lot.
Hey 256, but you won’t be seeing me a lot of me though.
the best defense against a hobo ambush.
Aaron spent yesterday throwing up in me.
Dunn comes up huge in another huge spot!
VORP splooge!
Yeah, #258, you’re right. Ron doesn’t have a leg to stand on with that argument.
I just knocked the blood out of that pitch.
I love me some VORP!
Did the Sheffield ballhawks just throw several balls back after VORP’s homer? Nice touch.
Also funnier than sarcasm. Still not as funny as spelling.
I got two hits tonight! Wanna guess how many total bases?
It rhymes with two.
Because it is, two.
We’re making cougar jokes, but so far none of them have been about Joan Esposito.
We all have crappy BA but great OBP.
No worries. Dusty will totally help kill the latter along with the former. They still haven’t converted to his philosophy, dude!
I can pitch the ninth and then Kerry can come in and get the save.
Oooh, suck on the four-pitch walk!
Dudes, I’m bringing in my closer so we can hold this 8 run deficit and then win it in the ninth.
We haven’t had a lead since Thursday.
Ball twelve.
Both of our boys are playing in the same big league game!
True, they both suck, but still…
What’s the score? I just got here.
Hey Gail check me out! I’m about to smoke this pitch. Then you can smoke my pole.
Just like Corey.
Shocking!
I just brought up Mel Rojas.
Come on guys, I have as many strikeouts as I do walks this season.
Guys?
I still hate Ronny Cedeno.
Why did Kevin Hart just hit with guys at second and third?
Hey 258, it’s actually 6.2 runs per game. Not bad. Not 7.5, though.
Cubs’ fans booing a pitcher in a 12-3 win.
Corey what in hell are you clogging the bases for?
Win!
YAY!!!!!!
Ahmen.
Jeez…I hope I don’t mess this up for the fellas tomorrow!
You can say that again, Ted. And we are starting to get sick of all this lotion!
100 Less comments than yesterday…Mike D. I miss you honey.
Another series lost at Wrigley. Just like old times dudes.
Welcome to the Chicago Cubs, Mr. Patterson! We’d like to show you what classy, gracious hosts we are and boo your older brother out of the building.
100 “fewer” comments
If I don’t win tomorrow I’m going to kill someone.
If I win tomorrow I’ll probably do the same.
#296–
I didn’t participate in last night’s GameCast.
Guess again.
I had more to do with the lack of comments than anything else. Blowouts aren’t good for viewership, but that doesn’t mean the Cubs shouldn’t want a crapload of them like last night.