It takes a lot to inspire my contributions during the college basketball off-season. And while there’s been plenty of topics that I’ve had opinions and musings on, none seemed worthy of their own dedicated entry. So I’ve finally compiled a grab bag of sorts that should adequately fill one column and if nothing else serve as a quick pause between your daily Cubs’ report and Bulls’ draft analysis. I’m rolling PTI style today, and am well aware some of these topics are last month’s news.

Survivor: I told you guys before the season even started that Magic 8-ball Rob was the man. But, am I the only one that thought swimsuit model and youngest Survivor champ ever, Jenna, looked a lot better when she was malnourished and carrying 20 less pounds. I also thought she seemed a little too cozy with psycho Matt during the reunion. Bring on Big Brother…

Shakira: I haven’t owned a pair of Reebok’s since 1987. But I really, really dig the blonde Latino bombshell playing in the sand—-even if the conclusion is an anticlimatic peace message complete with doves. Let’s just hope she doesn’t revert to decreasing her stock by going brunette like Britney and X-Tina.

Annika: After covering the Women’s U.S. Open for Desipio last year, I’m clearly the resident expert on women’s golf and feel badly I let the Annika chapter of the PGA come and go without comment and analysis. Truth be told, I thought she’d make the cut, but finish near the bottom of the money list. And no, she didn’t truly belong, but then again neither do any number of sponsor exemptions from various tournaments throughout the PGA season. If you’re hosting a tourney, and Tiger is resting, it’s your job to generate ratings by any means necessary. Similarly, if your Miss Sorenstam’s agent then it’s your job to secure opportunities to enhance her image as the definitive face of women’s golf. And because tournament organizers and her agents did such a good job and the rules didn’t prevent her from playing, even though she didn’t make the cut, she still came out ahead with an eyebrow raising first round, decent television ratings, and a huge increase in her name’s recognition. But Annika’s ratings aren’t but a drop in the bucket if Pearl Sinn ever finds her way to a televised PGA event.

ACC/Big East: Once this situation is resolved I’ll have a more complete assessment. As it stands, the ACC is and always will be a basketball conference. Just because Florida State bucks the trend, and because there’s more money to be made by becoming a 12-team super conference with a prominent BCS position, shouldn’t warrant raiding the Big East of first Miami, and then Syracuse and Boston College. While I’d enjoy a Duke-Syracuse hoops game two or three times a season, I think a move would hurt both conferences, though the ACC would emerge in a better position than the Big East.

NBA: Although the Eastern Conference plays a less aesthetically pleasing brand of basketball, I was rooting for the Pistons to sneak in to the Finals (This year’s title is for the Spurs and Danny Ferry’s taking). I grew up a fan of the Bad Boys era, and appreciated this team’s blue collar effectiveness. The fact that they were gift-wrapped the #2 pick in the NBA draft by a directionless Grizzlie franchise is icing on the cake. But, I’d be happy to drop the Pistons like a bad habit if the Bulls pull off a trade for Battier. Should West move Battier, a potential contributor he’s failed to find a spot for, he’d be the second top Grizzlies draft pick in as many years to last less than two full seasons with the Grizz (see: Gooden, Drew). With that type of commitment to scouting and player development, West didn’t deserve the rights to Lebron. I’m on board for the live draft coverage and I’ll pipe in with a mock draft once the smart underclassmen who’ve yet to secure an agent remove their names. And for the record I’ll go with Van Gundy to Cleveland, Senior Dunleavy to Houston, and Coach K to Philly… Just kidding, but speaking of Duke…

Kris Humphries: It’s probably for the best that Kris and Duke parted ways before he officially began his freshman year. Kris has a very involved and vocal father who is convinced his son is only a year or two removed from playing in the league. If you caught his act in the McDonald’s All-American game, he’s clearly not in Lebron’s league, let alone the 3’s and 4’s he’d have to bang against on the next level. Basically, while Kris and his dad were willing to showcase his talents for a season at the collegiate level, they weren’t willing to do so without the types of playing time guarantees that you just don’t get at Duke. Not on a team with a more talented incoming frosh in Luol Deng, and plenty of front court depth; Shelden Williams, Shavlik Randolph, Nick Horvath, Lee Melchioni, Michael Thompson. If he wants to go somewhere where he can start his choices are clearly Illinois (if only because of Cook’s graduation and Villanueva’s change of heart) or Minnesota. Where you or I could start. And the NCAA won’t make him sit a year, watch. And a quick look at the non-Duke world of college hoops.

NCAA: Mizzou pulled the plug on trigger/choke-happy Ricky Clemons for the season but add Linas Kleiza to a nice scoring trio of Arthur Johnson, Rickey Paulding and Jimmy McKinney. They’re top five. So is Michigan State, UConn, Kansas and since I won’t drop the D-word here, how about Florida. I like UConn to win it all though.

D-Brown: D-Brown is currently in Jamaica having actually went through with a wedding in which he was referred to by his brother’s name during the ceremony, and a reception that asked guests to pay for the hard stuff. This came only after he, and other members of his bachelor party, were banned from not one but two K.C. nightclubs. For some reason the bouncers of CowTown failed to see the humor in an inflatable black sheep, and the fact that D-Brown allegedly dropped his pants and started referring to members of the local Hispanic community as Runelvys.

Believe: Which brings us to the short-lived success of this year’s K.C. Royals. Even after their sprint to 13 wins they were never more than a pace car, and I am completely unsurprised at their fall back to the pack. They don’t get the love from me that Andy offers the Cubs, because they simply don’t deserve it. There’s just nothing to get excited about in a franchise that continually seeks to cut payroll, even in a modest revenue-sharing environment. Affeldt and Runelvys are legit, and they’ve got a 19-year old, Zach Greinke, they’re trying to keep from exploding out of A-Ball by year’s end. With solid pitching, any team will get there eventually, and a good start would be trading Carlos Beltran for a legitimate 3rd baseman (thanks for the memories, Joe Randa). I’d even take a questionable, underutilized 3-bagger like a Morgan Ensberg at this point.

NL Rotisserie: Morgan gets love, because I dropped Roger Cedeno—a guy I inexplicably spent $16 draft day dollars on, to acquire him. My biggest moves though were trading Derek Lee for the combination of Hee Seop Choi, Javy Lopez (right before his power spike) and Jesse Foppert. Then turned around and moved Pat Burrell, Jose Hernandez and Felix Rodriguez for Orlando Cabrera, Ty Wigginton and Jose Guillen. I’m currently tied for 6th, but I like my chances. In addition to Choi, I’ve got Grudzy and Corey Patterson to root for along with the majority of you. And for some reason I decided to pick up Estes for the Welcome-Back-Sammy-Friday start.

So if you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling a little conflicted and distracted with the knowledge that he just gave up a shot to young Ensberg. I still want the win. More later—I promise. And next time I’ll bring pictures…