Pitching matchup:
Snakes: Dan Haren 4-1, 3.12 ERA
Cubs: The Bull Moose 2-4, 5.97 ERA
Lineups
Hand Lotion Hair, lf
JD’s Little Brother, ss
Chris Young, cf
Conor Jackson, 1b
Upton the Younger, rf
Mark Reynolds, 3b
Chris Snyder, c
Corky Thatcher, 2b
Dan Haren, p
Cubs
The Albatross, lf
Dance Fever, ss
MVLee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Fukkake, rf
Geo Soto, c
PonDeRosa, 2b
Vag Face, cf
The Bull Moose, p
I had to go from the exclamation point to the question mark. If I have to move to DEFCON 3 with the “Pointless Exercise” I’m going to be very depressed.
No me today? Why am I not starting over Fever or Bonanza?
I don’t have a little brother, Andy.
I’ve just frozen over. People are lamenting Ronny’s absence in the lineup…
I have a younger brother, but he only has an older sister.
It’s true, I use hand lotion in my hair! But now that I’m hitting .240 I’m starting to become less colorful and more annoying. Time to grow some more fungus on my shower shoes.
No Santo today either…
Any Cub with me should be in the starting lineup.
When is it appropriate for me to begin in regards to Lou’s lineup choices?
Probably a good ting.
F***ing glove!!!
Today.
I’m a real bitch sometimes
I like White Chris Young better.
I start every at bat down 0-2.
Just wait till I heat up, doges. Sometime in 2009.
How MLB Gameday just skips batters. I assume The Riot made an out
We may need a couple of slumpbusters or maybe a blow up doll for the club house.
You guys are my bitch.
The over/under for double plays I will hit in this series is five.
I’m throwing a no hitter today.
Please stop playing me against right handers
Because I’m a better option, right?
Yes, because I would have caught that ball, Reed
What happend to my patience at the plate??? You guys are rubbing off on me!!!
Seriously. Stop rubbing off on me. That’s disgusting.
Here we come again, Desipiots! No gamecast is complete without 8282327831827381736287312 posts about how much MONEY the guy costs. Because the more money you make, the worse you are! Yay we’re all fucking retarded.
Me and no hitter just left the building.
I’m #27
Can you please take shutout with you?
What the hell?
I got the start today because of my knob.
…and you suck ass, then you’re fair game.
Go back to your day job, #27. You know giving $5 blowjobs on Lower Wacker.
I’m a douche
I’m sort of deserted lately. This Gamecast is lame, and the messageboard has been slow, too. What gives?
Right on!!
We just said that the White Sox are going to dye their facial hair pink.
It’s warm in Lou’s pants.
And we call Reed vag face…
You asked for this. You deserve this.
For Vag Face, I thought we were gonna start calling him Mulva now? What gives? I thought some gynecologist told us we were calling him the wrong body part, right?
I didn’t know thi kids were let out of school early today. I hate it when the boards are loaded with little kids man….
Are as dead as this place today…
when do we can to play us again?
I am a pimp.
I am not totally worthless.
Guess I have to do it all myself. AND PUT THE F#$#%^$ LOTION IN THE BASKET
Mendoza here I come!
FYC!!!!!
We’ll see how tired Ted is from running the bases last inning.
It was selfish and overpayed of me to do that.
The gray ones actually look like baseball uniforms, unlike the weird pajama combinations they break most of the time.
Today here at Wrigley.
It’ll be the Diamondbacks and this umpiring crew, the other team TBD, but BC figures it’ll be the Cardinals.
On that replay didn’t it look like when Ivan DeJesus went to high five Ted after his single that Ted tried to break Ivan’s arm?
And a douche in earmuffs catches a foul ball. Earmuffs?
Isn’t it time for me to rest Ted for game four?
I’m really encouraged by Teddy’s start today. Does he look as well as the box score indicates? From my Gamecast updates, it would appear that he has been rather efficient and, with the exception of the first inning mistake, has been cruising. Does have a valid #2 and it just took him a while to get going?
Wow, we’re getting lots of free pub for a very mediocre publication.
I need to get this game over with, I have some bodies to chop up.
7 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 2 BB, 10 (!) K from Lilly today
I will most certainly take that
Go ahead Augie, try to go to second!
Listening to Len respond to Grace’s “How has your ballclub been playing?” with some nonsense about “Not so well lately- playing better at home”, I wished he’d just been honest and said- “Soriano came back and the offense collapsed, because he’s awful, and insists on being awful first, ahead of the RBI men.”
But Len wouldn’t say it. It’s like how the talking heads won’t say “Clinton will win huge in WV and KY because they’re HUGE RACISTS!”
Just say it, people.
April Rookie of the Month. *clap clap clap*
CLEARLY because Soriano was out.
Can we please try to tone back saying the stupidest shit on earth today, #62?
He could say it, but it wouldn’t make it true. Soriano’s been bad leading off, but everybody the Cubs have tried there has been bad in that spot.
The Cubs would be playing better if Soriano was hitting, but I don’t think they’re playing worse just because he’s not.
The entire offense collapsed because I personally told #62 that “insist” on batting first.
I like tickling the catcher with my bat when I strike out.
Placing a fucking black hole at the top of the lineup and shifting around all the other parts of what had been a functioning lineup has had NOTHING to do with the offense drying up- it’s COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL that it dried up the very moment Soriano came back. You’ve convinced me with your well reasoned argument.
Check Reed Johnsons’s OBP in the leadoff spot.
I am ghey
Sorry to take away from the pissing match. Can someone explain what happened in the top of the 8th? Was there an interference call or something. Gameday’s a little messed up right now.
Some insurance, baby.
I really like hitting in Wrigley.
#68 you are committing me
earthquakes in the Andes were correlated with the closest approaches of the planet Uranus. Therefore, Uranus must have caused them. (But Jupiter is nearer than Uranus, and more massive too.)
When sales of hot chocolate go up, street crime drops. Does this correlation mean that hot chocolate prevents crime? No, it means that fewer people are on the streets when the weather is cold.
The bigger a child’s shoe size, the better the child’s handwriting. Does having big feet make it easier to write? No, it means the child is older.
It was a huge lineup shakeup. It took Reed Johnson from first to eighth.
Reed was batting .109 with a .309 on base percentage.
Theriot still hits second, Lee third, E-ramis cleanup, Fukudome fifth, Soto and DeRosa still hit sixth and seventh.
Interference was called on Byrnes. He made contact with Soto.
According to ESPN Gamecast, Ojeda out on batters interference on the K, 71
Thank you, #76.
Byrnes clipped Soto with his backswing while Soto was attempting to throw out Ojeda at 2nd. Batter interference was (correctly) called.
There’s video on MLB Gameday
My OPS in the leadoff spot was .526.
My OPS+ was 65
I believe #68 got a little confused because Aramis was out for a few days and that did make the lineup a bit different. Now that 68 is paying attention he might realize Aramis is back.
I do not understand this sport.
Speaking of me….maybe being in the 8th spot will be a good thing.
Byrnes struck out on a 3-2 pitch with Augie stealing second. Byrnes’ backswing hit Soto in the chest and Soto’s throw was too late and too high to get Augie, and the home plate ump called interference and Augie was out. Byrnes didn’t complain and Bob Melvin was awakened but he didn’t argue that much either.
I just swung at ball four…twice.
Soriano swung 3 times from the bench and is already out the next time he bats.
I am scraptastic
I’m a term that needs to be nipped in the bud.
Should I hit the first batter? Or dominate? One or the other folks.
You ain’t just whistlin’ dixie
…hit the first hitter!
Frontdoor, backdoor whatever that thing is nasty.
If we are going to do a defensive replacement, why not put someone in for Soriano? I know that he would be up fairly early in the bottom of the inning should it get there, but it seems like it might be prudent to put someone in left that isn’t afraid of the ivy.
I sit on Upton’s head!
Take a seat, bitch.
THE EXCLAMATION POINT IS BACK BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
I threw like a big boy there!
Go Cubs Go!
Yay. We won a low scoring game against a good team!!!!!
Watch us win this series against the Cardinals this weekend. We are back in Milwaukee and we are due.
Huge, huge win. Go home happy and start your weekend.
I can replace the ? now Andy. A very satisfying win indeed by the Cubs.
Flapity flap-flap, ogdens. (Can’t believe I’m the first one to post that).
DC Exile? How is my favorite unemployed editor? Still using caps and extra exclamation marks to prove what a great writer and editor you are?
bustin it out