Let's play a little game called hide the shoe!There are days when I should just lock myself in a virtual Interwebs bunker and not venture out to see what the rest of the world is up to.  I could just blindly believe that we are all of one mind.  The Cubs are 27-17.  They’re kicking ass and taking names.  Sure, they have some problems.  Their “fourth” starter is terrible.  Their lefthanded centerfielder is “Opposite George Costanza” to Michael Vick.  And…well…OK, for now that’s about it.  Hey, I didn’t say times weren’t good.

Then again, these are the Cubs, and things can change in a hurry.  But for now at least.  Can’t we all just relax and enjoy things?  I’m a pessimistic guy and even I am getting excited.

So who rained on my parade?

In the past, you know that when I’m irritated with Cubs’ bloggers there’s a 50/50 chance you know who it is.

So is it moron number one, or moron number two?

Today, it’s moron #1.  Al can relax, alphabetize his scorecard collection and restock the waxed paper.  Today, this is all about the nitwits at what was formerly known as the four-letter Web site.

You can’t even get to nsbb.com at nsbb.com anymore.  Why?  Because apparently eight dollars is too much for them and they couldn’t afford to renew it.  Some squatter in the UK bought it out from under them.

So now you have to go to the long version of their name www.northsidebaseball.com to check out their “blog.”

And you know what?  It’s not a blog.  Nobody writes on it, or for it.  Check out that front page.  There’s a news feed that gives you the latest in Cubs headlines, exciting stuff from top notch news agencies like The TImes of Northwest Indiana (George Castle must be proud) and the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette.  I know that when I’m trying to get the latest on the Cubs I go to Fort Wayne.

Then, there’s an announcements section.  It has a broken link to their blogs section.  Seems they forgot they don’t own nsbb.com anymore.  Then there’s some exciting breaking news.  Did you know that the Cubs just put Ryan Dempster on the DL?  Yeah, in June of last year.  Then you can find out they sent Sean Gallagher to AAA!  Also in June of 2007.  And, they just traded Michael Barrett to…oh, never mind.

Keep going, there’s a section called latest articles and in that one, you find that they just signed Jason Marquis to a three year deal.  In 2006.  Awesome.  Good stuff.  They should give themselves a plaque and $100.

But that’s not what pissed in my Cheerios this morning.  Nope.

I have admitted a man love for Lou Piniella that knows few bounds.  It’s what happens when for the first 33 years of your life the Cubs are managed so poorly that suddenly, Don Baylor doesn’t seem so bad.  Then, your team gets a real manager.  A guy who “gets it.”  Somebody who kicks them in the ass, holds them accountable, and (gasp!) wins.

I mean really, who doesn’t love…OK, at least like Lou?

The Ron Santo-Lou Piniella Show on the WGN Radio pregame could be enough by itself.

Ron: Here I am with the fine manager of the Chicago Cubs, Lou Piniella.  Great win yesterday, Lou.

Lou: Thanks, Ron.

Ron: Who did we beat?

Lou: Pissburgh.

Ron: That’s right.  Did I ever tell you about the time I made my big league debut in a doubleheader against Pittsburgh?

Lou: Yes, several times.

Ron: Oh, yeah.  Any lineup changes today?

Lou: Yeah.  We’ve got…uh…I wrote it down here someplace.  Uh…erm…Soriano’s leading off, then the little shortstop, and Lee and Ramirez and the Japanese guy, then…somebody…is it the catcher or the gay?  Oh, Christ, I can’t find it.  The hell with it.

Ron: Let’s get another winner today.

Lou: Sounds good.

Lou came in last year and inherited a mess.  The Cubs had lost 96 games in 2006 and it’s a miracle they didn’t lose more.  He took over a team that was supposed to have an outfield of Matt Murton-Cliff Floyd, Alfonso Soriano and Jock Jones in it.  His infield had Cesar Izturis at short and the dumbest catcher in baseball history.  By June 3 the lineup was unrecognizable in a good way.

Since that day, the Cubs have gone 90-63.  They won a division title last year and are back in first place this year.  This is a team that hasn’t gone to back to back postseasons since they went to three in a row in the oughts.  Not the 20-oughts, the 19-oughts, 1906-1908.

So what do the superfans at Northside Baseball have to say about it?

They have a thread titled, “Lou Piniella, What the hell are you doing?”

That thread was started on May 3 of this year.  It’s now 14 pages long.

The thread started the night Lou took Rich Hill out in the first inning of a game when Hill walked four batters, including the final one on a pitch that went about 42 feet in the air.

Since that game the Cubs have gone 10-5.  So these nitwits have been piling on Lou during a stretch in which his team has won twice as many games as it has lost.

So what are they so mad at Lou for?

Let’s count the ways.

1) He horribly mistreated Rich Hill.  Rich should not have been sent to AAA when he crapped his pants repeatedly to start the season.  Rich is a sensitive boy.  He should be hugged often and liberally.  He was one of the best pitchers in baseball last year.  I mean, how many pitchers could match the 5.08 ERA he put up in the clutch during the stretch run last September?  You know, stats that include the near no hitter he threw at the Reds’ AAA lineup the second to last day of the season?

Look, I know you little guys love anybody who came through the Cubs’ minor league system.  I mean, if a Cubs player suckled at the teet of the great Oneri Fleita how could he ever go wrong?

2) Lou can’t make out a lineup card.  He’s clearly shit at it.  The Cubs have only scored 255 runs so far this season.  Here’s a list of all the teams who have scored more runs than the Cubs.

See, that sucks.  Oh, wait.  Nobody has scored more runs than the Cubs.

He keeps batting Alfonso Soriano lead off, when Soriano clearly needs to bat somewhere else.  Look how great Reed Johnson did batting leadoff.

Oops.  .176/.300/.275

OK, what about Ryan Theriot?  He’s gritty.  Let him lead off.  .222/.222/.222

Ronny Cedeno?  .125/.125/.125.

Felix Pie?  .000/.333/.000

But Soriano blows.  That doesn’t change the point.  Look at his pitiful numbers batting first in the order.

.322/.350/.643.

Clearly, Lou doesn’t know shit.

3) Why does he double switch all the time?  Why doesn’t he play Ronny Cedeno more?

Fine, which is it?  First off, Lou doesn’t double switch all the time.  Dusty Baker double switches all the time.  And secondly, Ronny Cedeno has played in 10 of the Cubs 17 games in May.  That’s a lot for a bench guy.  Lou uses his whole team.  So even your little Suckling Fleitas get to play more than they would on most teams.  You’d think you guys would be happy about that.

One poster went as far as to say this about one of his big problems with Lou.

Ryan Theriot getting handed a starting job he didn’t deserve, performing worse than our option with a higher ceiling, and still keeping said job.

If you’re wondering, this is the same Ryan Theriot who is batting .331 with a .410 on base average and who has more walks (21) than strikeouts (17).  Algonquin called, there’s a seat at the roundtable for you “Rob.”

Here’s another great piece of thought.  It comes from “brinoch” who feels that Lou deserves no credit for the success of Geovany Soto and the reasoning is priceless.

Somehow I just can’t give Lou any credit for Soto. I don’t know why. Maybe its because Soto is Soto and is leading the Cubs — and is 8th in all of MLB — with a 1.000 OPS. I could be wrong, though, since the Cubs preferred to play Michael Barrett, Henry Blanco, Rob Bowen, Koyie Hill, and Jason Kendall over Soto last year until Soto came up at the end of last year and posted a 1.110 OPS and hit the same number of HR’s in 53 AB’s as the Blanco/Bowen/Hill/Kendall monster posted in 331 AB’s.

Because clearly, the Cubs inability to play Geovany Soto in meaningful games last year cost them the pennant.  Lou was so in love with Michael Barrett, Hank White, Bowen, Koyie and Kendall that he left the great Soto to rot in the minors all year.

But wait.  Soto was recalled on September 1 for good, then played in 16 games in the final month, during a tight playoff race, including 13 starts, oh and he started two of the three playoff games.  But clearly, Lou preferred every other catcher on the planet.  Then, Lou was so uncomfortable with Soto behind the plate that he didn’t ask for the Cubs to add another catcher to the roster and basically made him the 2008 starter last October.  Clearly, you have a firm grasp on the situation.  Congrats.

Now, with the Cubs winning their debate is whether or not the manager has anything to do with the team’s record.  Apparently, when a team is losing it’s the manager’s fault, when the team wins it’s the players.  And they have an undying love for Braves’ manager Bobby Cox.  This despite the fact that if they watched him manage for a week they’d be claiming he’s the reason the Braves “only” won one World Series during his time there.

Look, here’s what I know about Lou Piniella and the Cubs.  Before he came this was a directionless bunch.  His imprint on the team is unmistakable.

  • The best players will play regardless of age, salary or how they were acquired
  • Pitchers will throw strikes or risk getting a size 12 with LOU on the back up their hiney
  • The batting order will be made out to put as many of the hitters in ideal spots as possible.  If it means one guy ends up in a less than optimal spot, Lou could give a crap.  Yes, we’re looking at you Mark DeRosa.
  • He will try anything.  How else are you going to find out what’s going to work?  Hence Ryan Theriot skipping down to try to steal third twice in a week.  It didn’t work.  Theriot stopped doing it.  However, he stuffed Theriot in the second spot in the batting order.  It’s worked.  Ryan has stayed there.

One of my favorite new things is to watch the reaction in the dugout when Lou puts on a hit and run or double steal that works.  Players on the bench actually come over to give Lou a fist bump.  You know who did it last week?  Soriano.  A guy that I’m sure we all thought doesn’t actually watch the game when he’s not on the field (and sometimes doesn’t watch it even when he is) was the first to run over to do it.

The reason I like Lou is that he’s all about winning today’s game.  It’s why he’ll come close to running out of players at the end of a mid-week game in June.  You can’t win yesterday’s and you can’t win tomorrow’s.  He doesn’t abuse his pitchers, so let him at it.  So what if he ends up with Soriano at second and Marquis at first?  It won’t happen twice.

I’m already dreading what happens when Lou leaves after next season.  It’s going to be a battle royale for the soul of the Cubs between actual manager in waiting Alan Trammel and the guy who thinks he’s the manager in waiting Ryne Sandberg.  Either way, win or lose it won’t be nearly as interesting.  Especially the Ron Santo manager’s show.