On Thursday, the Cubs and Braves are going to play the first “throwback” game in Wrigley Field history. The Cubs have played hundreds of “setback” games, but never a throwback one.
The difference is subtle. in a throwback game, teams wear uniforms designed to resemble those used in days of yore. In setback games, the Cubs play so lousy they set the game of baseball back by several decades.
The throwback game is so anticipated that most of us had forgotten it was Thursday afternoon (why not a Saturday or a Sunday?)
That is, until one of those brilliant Cubs.com readers had a question that quite frankly he couldn’t find an answer to on his own. So he did what any sensible person with an Interwebs connection would do. He asked Carrie Muskat.
Here’s the actual question this guy asked. Seriously.
Could you please tell me what a “throwback” game is? Is it a game that does not count in the standings?
— Rick H., Bourbonnais, Ill.
Proof that while you can’t drink alcohol on the Olivet Nazarene campus, you can drink paint thinner to your heart’s delight.
First off, it never ceases to amaze me that these people can take the time to go through the somewhat convoluted process of sending Carrie a question, but can’t just go to Google and find out the goddamned answer for themselves.
Let’s try it.
Google “throwback game.”
Son of a bitch, lookie here. The FIRST result is not just some information about a throwback game, it’s a Sun-Times blog entry about the actual throwback game on Thursday!
To be fair to Rich in Bourbonnais, it does not say if the game counts in the standings. I find it hard to believe that just because Carlos Zambrano will be wearing a home white jersey without pinstripes on it that it needs to be an exhibition, but hey.
Anyway, let’s look at Carrie’s answer.
The game does count. The Cubs will play a throwback game on Thursday against the Atlanta Braves, the first such game at Wrigley Field. It’s called “throwback” because the players will wear uniforms from the past. The Cubs will wear replica 1948 uniforms while the Braves will take part wearing uniforms resembling those of the 1948 Boston Braves.
WGN-TV will present a special broadcast of the game to commemorate its 60th anniversary. If you’re going, and have any clothes in the attic from 1948, get in the swing. Broadcasters Kasper and Bob Brenly will be decked out in timely outfits.
If you have clothes in the attic from 1948, they probably also have the decayed corpse of your “mother” in them, so leave them and her in the rocking chair by the window, Norman, and watch the game on TV.
Carrie’s answer leaves a lot to be desired. That’s why you have me.
Here are some interesting facts about just how serious the Cubs organization is trying to recreate the feel of a 1948 Cubs’ game.
- Not only will Lou Piniella not be allowed to use any of his black players, black fans will not be allowed to attend. At press time, the Cubs weren’t even sure about letting in those “damn Irish.” It’s why Carlos has been bragging about his “tan” for two weeks, he’s trying to find a loophole. (Make your own insensitive Jim Crow “loophole” joke here.)
- Ron Santo, who is pretty incoherent at 68 will instead announce the game with the attention span he had when he was eight. It’s likely that no one will notice the difference.
- The Eamus Catuli sign will be reset for the day to 40-03-XX, since it will only be 40 years since the last World Series title, three since the last pennant and divisions do not exist. (Actually, they probably will do that.)
- Cubs fans will openly mock Sox fans for having not played in a World Series in 29 years and throwing the damn thing anyway.
- Kosuke Fukudome will be allowed to play, though chances are all of the “Remember the Arizona” taunts will have him in tears.
- Len Kasper has promised to use the term “old tymey” at least a dozen tymeys.
- Kasper will also honor the great Jack Brickhouse who was in his first year as the TV voice of the Cubs in 1948 by babbling non-stop through the action and by giving shrill, unintelligible screeches followed by “Hey Hey!” whenever anything exciting happens.
Seriously, have you ever heard a Brickhouse highlight where he wasn’t screaming like a banshee? The only good one I can recall is his “Come on Moose!” exhortation to Moose Moyrn on the final out of Don Cardwell’s no hitter in 1960. Otherwise it was a lot high pitched folderol.
- Pat Hughes will use the word folderol at least once during the broadcast on radio.
- The Cubs will try to play like they did in 1948 when they finished eighth in the National League. It could have been worse. Well, actually no, there were only eight teams in the National League in 1948.
- The Braves finished first in 1948 and lost in the World Series to the Indians. So, hah!
- The Cubs hope to emulate the success they had on June 12, 1948. They were rained out in Brooklyn. Can’t lose if you don’t play!
- 87 year old Andy Pafko, the Cubs’ regular third baseman in 1948 won’t play third base in the game. That would be ridiculous, a man that age, he could be seriously injured. Instead, he’ll play first base. In 1948 Pakfo hit .312 with 26 homers and 101 RBI. So, he’ll probably only get three or four hits on Thursday. Don’t expect too much.
- Pafko only played one full season at third base during his 16 year big league career. He made a Keith Moreland like 29 errors in 1948. He did, however make the All-Star team. One of five times he made the All Star Game as a Cub. And, in 1948 a pre-op Chris Karhl was upset that Brooklyn Dodgers manager Burt Shotton didn’t take defensive win shares into account when he picked the team.
- The famous Normal Rockwell painting of the Cubs’ coaches in the dugout was done in 1948. I’ve always liked those road uniforms. Pity they’ll be wearing a pretty boring home jersey from that year.
Anyway, that’s just some of the good stuff that Carrie left out. Actually, though, you wonder if she’s going to get into the spirit of things and dress for the game? She could wear her hair in old tymey style, like this relic.
Oops. Never mind.
I hate, hate, hate the celebrity seventh inning stretch thing that the Cubs have been doing for ten freaking years now. I don’t understand why they don’t think the fans would just get up and remember Harry by singing the stretch along with Gary Pressy’s organ (not THAT organ). Wouldn’t that be a pretty cool legacy for Harry? A generation of Cubs fans grew up with Harry teaching them the song, half of them probably think that the last four words actually are “Let’s get some runs!”
But alas, since they insist on dragging b-list celebrities up to the booth to “lead” us. They give the “celebrity” a Cubs’ hat (most of them throw it to the crowd) and a customized jersey with their name and a number on it.
I asked Len Kasper if he’d humor me and ask the non-sports guests why they picked the number they did. We’ll see if he does it. Since he acknowledges that some of them have nothing to say, it’s not a bad first question. For example, when Tony Romo and Bobby Hull sang we knew why they were both number 9. But why did Simon LeBon have 88? (I assume it’s how many herpes tests he can pass out of every hundred given to him.) Anyway, think of it as my very little contribution to a sad schtick that needs to end.
If you have clothes in the attic from 1948, they probably also have the decayed corpse of your “mother†in them, so leave them and her in the rocking chair by the window, Norman, and watch the game on TV.
What–you couldn’t work a joke involving me in there?
Legend has it I’m the hapless batboy in that Rockwell painting.
Am I going to do the PA?
It was not until the Dodgers visited Wrigley in those days that I ever saw black fans there. And they were not rooting for the Cubs.
?
As somebody who was raised in Bourbonnais, I just wept a little.
By the way, you missed another good Muskatism. In the preview for today’s game, in an “article” titled “New Wrigley field still growing on Cubs”, she’s trying to convince us that the field is trickier and has been tough on infielders.
Quote: “Balls have been taking some tricky hops, and they definitely have to be on their toes. Shortstop Ryan Theriot has seven errors in 59 games, and three of those have occurred in 30 home games.”
So, in other words, Theriot has made 3 errors in 30 home games (1 per 10 games), and 4 errors in 29 away games (1 per 7.25 games). THIS GOES COMPLETELY AGAINST HER FREAKING POINT!!! She says the Wrigley infield has been tough on fielders, quotes Theriot as an example, but neglects to notice that he’s actually making FEWER errors at home! WTF is she talking about?!!
I think her hair is wound too tight.
Our agents don’t even return the Cubs’ call. They’ve got to go C-list to even get a sniff. When they strike out there, they call Vanderbeek.
Yeah, good question, why are they doing this during the week? And no love for Brickhouse…not surprising, but that’s too bad. You all probably know him mostly from taped highlights like Banks’ 500th or various no-hitters when he was indeed in hysterics. He wasn’t that bad.
I could pitch better than Ted Lilly in 2008 in 1948.
Wow, that was forced. Lilly sucks.
I retract my comments about Theodore Roosevelt.
Brickhouse sucked.
If there actually is a legend about me being the hapless batboy in that Norman Rockwell painting entitled “The Dugout”, it’s a pretty stupid one. I was a batboy at Wrigley Field, and as you can tell by the road uniforms the Cubs are wearing in the painting, the setting is not Wrigley Field.
We moved up to the B-list?
Woohoo!!
You think the celebrity “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” is bad? How about that insufferable turd of a song I wrote? It’s like watching Kerry Wood get the last out, then catching a whiff of the stale fart emanating from the drunken sweat-soaked whale two rows up in the bleachers. Every time we win at home my reaction goes something like this: “Allright! … … really? …crap.” Go cubs, go get another song to play after wins.
I realize I’m pretty hokey, but for fuck’s sake enjoy the win. Or just bitch about everyfuckingthing. Take your pick.
Flying Pickle, I agree with you. I also was raised in Bourbonnais and I have never been more ashamed (even after the area being voted last in a ranking of the best metropolitan areas in the country) after reading that question.
To: that insufferable turd.
I like that song. There is no better song to play after a Cubs Win!
If you don’t like basking in the after glow, then turn of the game the second it’s over. Otherwise, stop bitching about a great song.
The celebrity TMOTTBG should be killed quickly however.
I must be the first douche that misses K.C. and the Sunshine Band after home wins.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with “Go Cubs Go.” It’s unique to the team, it was written by an actual Cub fan (as he was dying of cancer, no less), and it’s peppy and appropriate for a post-victory celebration. Oh, and it’s a serious upgrade over the previous song accompanying the raising of the “W” flag.
Just because it’s not Arcade Fire-level of songwriting doesn’t mean it automatically sucks. My god, of all the things to bitch about…
Home game wins used to be so rare that we felt like singing when they happened. Now with a 27-8 home record we are so jaded that we complain about what we are singing.
Don’t forget the throwback use of the word “Dickety” since the Kaiser has stolen the word “two”. Santo chased him to get it back but gave up after dickety-six miles
#14 sounds like a “pretender” or Sox troll.
Steve Goodman was my homie. A true artist. For such insolence I am going to kick #14’s ass worse than I kicked Darryl Hannah’s.
Goodman wrote Go Cubs Go as a WGN Radio theme song for their pre and postgame. It wasn’t meant to be Positively Fourth Street for chrissakes.
To me, if you want to complain about the song, complain that we sing a song that says “the Cubs are gonna win today” after they’ve won.
Ahh, who cares? I’m still the guy who’s trying to convince them to play the chorus from “Out in the Street” whenever a Cub hits one onto Waveland or Sheffield.
I think the reason that the Soviet Union collapsed is because its citizens were forced to stand and sing that interminable anthem at sporting events.
I actually like the celebrity tmottbg, I like getting up and singing the song, and I love laughing at the b-lister who screws it up.
And I’m with #14, Go Cubs, Go is a little too little league for me.
Sweet Home Chicago?
Ron Santo should be the permanent signer of TMOTTBG
And, after he signs it, then he can sing it