Pitching matchup:
White Sox: John Danks 4-4, 2.90 ERA
Cubs: The Bull Moose 7-5, 4.76 ERA
Lineups
White Sox
Orlando “What’s the extension for the Official Scorer” Cabrera, ss
AJ Eyechart, c
Carlos Quentin, lf
Jermaine Dye, rf
Swishy, 1b
Joe Crede, 3b
The Raft Refugee, 2b
Brian Anderson, cf
John Danks, p
Cubs
Fukkake!, cf
Dance Fever, ss
MVLee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Geo Soto, c
PonDeRosa, rf
Ginger, lf
RonCe, 2b
Theodore Roosevelt Lilly, p
I’m available!
I’m back bitches! http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3454016
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz.
In the Tampa Bay series, Ryan Theriot had four RBIs. The rest of the team had a grand total of four. Somebody wake up A-Ram.
Fukudome in CF. Nice.
Hey mang! Who you guys wan me to heet today?!?
I’m a loaf of shit.
Why did I only sign a one-month deal with the devil? I’m “hitting” 213/227/230 since April ended.
Why do we have to listen to the Sox announcers on WGN?
We are on Comcast, number 8
Who can play OF? Are Johnson and/or Lassie available?
Here we come!
…is there really any way we finish with more than 81 wins? Hell no.
BRAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
BRAAAAEEEEEVVVEEEE
Let’s see how many awesome “We Believe” signs we can make and bring to the game. Gosh, we are the biggest collective group of DBag fans in sports. How did we get more annoying than people from Boston?
I believe
I can fly
I’m in Ohio and don’t get comcast number 9
Living here is your first mistake.
GameCenter has the game as delayed. What seems to be the problem?
What’s the over/under for HRs I allow? I say 3.5.
Rain you tard.
Underway now.
Thanks, fellas.
Out-out-out
The visibility is quite good after thaqt downpour.
Back…. back….. Back…..
Who am I rooting for staff? As I don’t take money from lobbyists or corporations (just the wives of lobbyists, and the employees of corporations) who gave me the most bucks?
I’m mic’ed today, doges
is rooting for the lemmings to continue to be distracted by sports and shiny things while he and congress rob them blind
Ted Lilly is hitting 27 points higher than the red headed step child….why is Matt Murton back up again?
How about an RBI biotch!
Send Murton down, and bring Pie up. While the platoon is hurt, you will only have one person playing out of position in the outfield as opposed to three.
I will compile my thesis on why and how our ginger deserves to be playing for the Cubbies.Here are my thoughts.
.
Also MLB is so backward….scheduled the CUBS for a night game at the Trop then an early day game against their cross town rivals…just give Guillen the game…fuktards.
The Red Headed step child is back up again so that hopefully he can get enough hits to convince Cleveland he is worth putting in a package for C.C. Sabathia. I hope…
Yeah,but can Murton do that
When will Lee and A Ram WAKE THE FUCK UP
Zamrano and Sabathia in the same clubhouse…please do not lite a match while standing anywhere near them.
fuck
Sabathia or the Fat Kangaroo?
I hate taxes!
Fear not my friends, I will soon return to save this DOOMED season.
1.Trade Jerome Williams for Austin Kearns
2.Trade Mark Grace for Kevin Appier
3.Profit
I hate death
I’m such an asshat. I complain about dis place meng. I hate to play here meng. I hate the Cubs meng. I would never put on a blue uni meng. I’m half a mongoloid with retard strength meng.
Can someone pass this guy a slice or pizza or something? The guy looks like he has the HIV from how skinny the rat bastard looks!
How else will I get on PTI and sportscenter mang?
Admit you need my contribution, bitches or you’re all cursed.
You reek of south side scumbag.
Fuk you eyechart!
A team with range in the middle infield. Who knew?
No, just a little pissed that when an all-star goes down, the idiots on this board tried to make it seem as if it wasn’t a set back. It was disrespectful.
Disrespectful? He is a baseball player, he didn’t cure cancer. Its not like we started cracking yo mama jokes about soriano when he went down. Calm the hell down.
Since when did I become Jock Jones at the plate? Everything that comes off my bat is shit.
“Morans on this board” is the correct answer thank you very much
No tired memes for me, thank you.
Disrespectful?? Are you kidding me? Does the guy pay your rent or give you swipes? Methinksnot.
Calm down dude.
NSBB poster Found
1. Ryan Theriot
Anyone who doesn’t think so reread the post that was made after Sori went down. I can understand resisting the urge to get on the ledge, and all, but that article was dismissive of what Soriano had been contributing.
Ever notice how every time he’s called “albatross” he goes off and hits a bunch?
Three straight games, I had a runner on 3rd with less than 2 outs and failed to get an RBI.
Nuh uh
I hope I die in a car fire
I am an “albatross” so is every Cub on the roster
Stop being a vagina. Or at least do it somewhere else.
Anyone else smell urine? Oh wait that must be because of the golden showers me and my team mates were giving each other before the game.
Chicks dig the long ball. Still think I am a fat fuck piece of trash though…
Yeah,Danks alot mang
I think I’m smelling it in Lilly’s pants.
I’m you #61. Former 2005 NL MVP contender. Right now I look like Doug Mientkiewicz out on the field. All D, no bat.
Did this just erupt into a contest about who smells of cyberpee? Lame.
I think you are still smelling last night’s version of Marmol crapping his pants and Scotty joining in for good measure.
should I be warming up now?
So when will the Cards or Brewers catch the Cubs? I say the 2nd week of July
Sweet, I’m going to the All-Star game!!!
Unfortunately, it’s to pitch in the Home Run Contest
It will be right after the Tigers catch the White Sox
is that before or after Ozzie gets fired?
He gone
Riggleman is back in Seattle? Who would have thought?
It wasn’t just a rain delay. It was God trying to wash the Sox fans.
Welcome to 1994!
Tell God to get his aim better next time
And drop a few bars of soap…
Sorry Iowa. Noah didn’t get the boat built in time.
I’m wearing out the warning track.
sucks. What a bunch of fucking assholes.
If AJ had any nuts that foul ball would have hit them.
84, converting cubits to English measurements, not easy.
I am so fucking useless
If my spot comes up this inning, I think I should come out for a pinch hitter.
I’m the one wearing out the warning track, Derrek.
I’m just sayin’…
Three runs will not win this game.
Lots of guys named Lilly posting on this board
If I go on DL I’m going to start posting here during every game.
I’m taking names, bitches! I’ll kill you with my left arm if I have to.
My pitchers shouldn’t hit for themselves meng!
Would it kill Tim McClellan to actually signal the strike within 10 seconds of calling it?
I agree with you, Ozzie. The National League is so 1887. Tell you what, I’ll fly up to Chicago and we can get some hookers and ride around town in my limo!
I’m just waiting for Bob to blame the Cubs’ 1 run on the hitting background today.
Do not listen to me while operating heavy machinery. Or if you allergic to suckiness.
I couldn’t get a double in a tavern.
I’m with you, Hank.
If you go on the DL we will “disrespect” you in our forum,just FYI
I told you Ronny sucks.
The use of this tired descriptor should be accompanied by a cattle prod to the testicles.
My slide was dumb, but I beat that.
Has sliding into first ever worked?
Lou should get tossed here. The team needs a kick in the prostate.
Lou’s getting lazy in his old age.
Young Lou would have shown the first base ump how close it was by tearing first out of the ground and throwing it at him.
A little known fact, the Dominican’s Olympic track team loses all of the sprints because they try to slide head first across the finish line.
Sliding into first is the hogans , mang
We’re sleepy.
I used to tell Dusty to slide into first.
(I was hoping he’d suffer a head injury and stop following me around.)
look like a beaten team already. Way to fucking sack it up, fucksticks.
I’m with you guys, 112.
You’re right. 2 runs will be enough to win it.
The Cuban Raft Pilot reminds me of Alfonso Soriano because he’s skinny.
So does Kiera Knightly.
they’re still shitty
I’m Felix Pie’s undeveloped negative.
rallycarp.jpg
“Jermaine Dye has big hands.”
Just like my proctologist.
The Cubs are deader than me.
In the pregame, Kaplan was all excited because he hear the Cubs are after Rich Harden.
You know, a talented pitcher who has a futon on the disabled list just like Mark Prior.
122 also posted 114 and 86. In other words, we get it, dipshit.
Are fung, mang.
would probably come fairly cheap, considering his history, and is worth the gamble on his health. Hendry would probably give him an $80M extension though
I’m on the DL?
3-1 deficits when you have nothing going offensively are insurmountable!
The guy really likes to lay on me. Like too much.
…is about as fresh as a Neil Sedaka concert.
Hey Deke! I mean Derrek. Heh, heh.
How you like my fungy face wheng my heet go fouwl?
Things could be worse. Chuck is at HJE saying that Derrek Lee has turned into Eric Karros.
In response to #74 – Get the donuts ready! Are the Cubs losing again?
If we really traded Carlos Quentin because of the great Eric Byrnes, we deserve to be showered in shit.
Do we panic when DLee turns into me?
Wow, that went a lot better than it seemed.
Come on, score some runs. Please.
How you did depends quite a bit on me, Ted. Don’t get too relaxed yet.
OK. Now you can say that went pretty good.
Why is Kenny Chesney hugging Kirk Herbstreit and what looks like Jud Heathcoate’s illegitimate brother?
Chuck is a moran.
Looks like Eric Karros just homered.
Wheeee
Do what I say, ’cause I say it.
Suck on that bitches.
Someone get Derek a video camera
Chuck whines like the best of them. Soriano is awful, awful. Etc, etc, etc.
Homers are rally killers.
The wake up call came about 3:45.
Huzzah, huzzah!
yase
BACK TO BACK JACKS!
BACK TO BACK JACKS
Ka-ching!
How much do you pay for back-to-back-to-back jacks?
Get out the wallet.
You can’t even make up stuff like ghey country music singer Kenny Chesney giving his boy Jim Edmonds a shout out from the booth.
Those kinds of things write themselves.
Let me at the eighth. I’m in the mood to atone.
IVE GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES
Thanks O-Dog. Dick.
You also can’t make up Kenny listing all the ESPN people he hung out with and not being able to remember Erin Andrews’ name.
Erin Andrews IS the only person at ESPN, in my opinion.
Is it too much to ask for me to get an extra base hit?
(The correct answer — yes.)
I AM ALIVE
C’mon, Murton.
But a single won’t hurt.
I wish he were a 2Bmen.
Ozzie fears me!
You don’t need to hit the ball out of the park for a home run. I know this for a fact, I’ve done it twice. Once last year, and just yesterday. I simply pretend that home plate is a dozen chocolate cream filled donuts. It works really good and makes me run really fast!
They’re going to pitch around Ronny (if he’ll let them) and then bring Thornton in to pitch to the pinch hitter (which would be Lassie or Hoffpauir.)
Is like fucking Magic Johnson. One way or the other, it’ll kill you.`
Thornton is quaking in his boots.
I’m swinging bitch!
Whee!
Wow.
Wow, I’m a douche.
Shouldn’t I stay in? I only pitched to one guy.
That’s “Adonis Bob” to you, mister.
Erin Andrews is purty.
http://i2.tinypic.com/7yoa1zp.jpg
Anybody heard anything about my shoulder arthrogram yet?
See.
http://cdn.faniq.com/images/photos/photo_large/54/23254-2497.jpg
You looked great, Z!
Don’t worry. I’m ready to give up the game winner. Just name the inning.
Wasn’t there a rumor about Nick Saban banging her?
Perhaps we’ve woken the fuck up. We’ll see what happens in the bottom of the 8th.
Wasn’t there a rumor about me banging Nick Saban?
Nope.
Me.
http://deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/03/aaron_and_ruse.jpg
Jebus. That’s one fuckable woman.
You and me, Lassie. You and me.
http://theangryt.com/images/9-830/manager_clip_image002.jpg
I’d do her. Again.
http://www.mixmakers.net/images/erin-andrews/erin-andrews-big7.jpg
So quickly you all forget. Screw you.
Indeed!
I’m happening a lot right now.
If Ozzie bring in da lefty, I’ll take him deep.
The Red Baron likes what he sees in those photos.
See, Lou knows.
Better get your gloves ready on Waveland. I’m feeling it.
Yo soy retrasado mental y me cago los pantalones con los muchachos en el clubhouse todo los dias!!
Dude, can’t lose your backup catcher.
no one forgot
http://popcultured.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/eliza-dushku.jpg
If you were going to burn a lefty hitter…shouldn’t it have been Fontenot?
One more biscuit for breakfast.
Who could forget? http://www.fotos.org/galeria/data/502/medium/3Eliza-Dushku.jpg
Karros ever hit two in two innings?
Can you win me twice in the same game?
See he sucks.
http://www.erinandrewspictures.com/thumbs/89-erin_andrews_1.jpg
should have had that, don’t you think?
Am I really pitching now? I’m a closer now, Lou.
Patience is my hallm…oh, never mind.
Uh…shut up 208. You gonna get a save at home in a tie game from the ninth on?
Melikey!
Bob wants to walk AJ to get to Quentin.
How did he win a World Series, again?
Good point, skip. I’m new to this relief business.
Now here’s the real deal:
http://images.addictedtoquack.com/images/admin/ErinAndrewsBikini.jpg
If AJ is 2-3 against Kerry it just means he’s due to go 0 for his next seven against him.
AJ did strike out, but I think the umps got it backwards. It should have been a called strike three not a check swing.
Baby want a bottle?!!
I’m here to serve one up. Who wants it?
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Cubs win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Pancakes for everybody!
Wake up call biotches!!!
Is that something you might be interested in?
Ballgame over!
Losing streak over!
General malaise lifted!
Twelve in a row at Wrigley.
Play the jingle, boys!
Go Cubs Go!
NEVER LOSING AGAIN!!!
Go Cubs Go
General! Someone is bombing Wrigley!
Something called an E-ramis.
Now do I get the win, skip? That’s fucking awesome!!
Did someone say pancakes? I’ll take mine with chocolate syrup, please.
I’m hoping I don’t get a procto exam like after I took Frank Cordero deep last year.
Flappity flap, ogdens
Cue picture of me pointing to my dong. If you can find this photo, please post the link.
Wait, did we really pick Crede over A-Ram at third base?
Scott Linebrink, the gift that keeps on giving.
Bonertime?
Yes you guys did! Idiots!!
Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
I hate these fucking one hour postgame shows.
Oh, I forgot.
Absolutely BONERTIME!
Apparently I am still attached to whatever Labrums are supposed to be attached to.
I’m the one that’s a lazy turd. And I can’t sleep