Pitching matchup: Reds: Fabio Arroyo 6-7, 5.82 ERA Cubs: Theodore Roosevelt Lilly 9-5, 4.47 ERA
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Pitching matchup: Reds: Fabio Arroyo 6-7, 5.82 ERA Cubs: Theodore Roosevelt Lilly 9-5, 4.47 ERA
Phillies up on the evil satanic red fowl, 2-0.
I just hope the Cubs can tread water until Rich Hill returns to save them.
I read this site, so be careful what you say.
I’m adding a creepy ambiance to todays game.
Rank the following pitchers in terms of # of starts after the All-Star Break:
Rich Hill
Rich Harden
Jason Marquis
Sean Marshall
Chad Gaudin
and if you really want to go crazy,
Sean Gallagher.
I’ve given up three stolen bases to the first two hitters today.
I’m awesome.
we’re running on Rivera, 2 stolen bases in the first inning
Nobody’s going to make any jokes at my expense? Put me in the game. Those guys should be running on me.
“Adam Dunn in left field… he might as well take his bat out there with him, the glove isn’t doing him any good.”
I am awesome.
i was a ball
Hit and run with Lee, delightful.
I’m the man
“Dunn did not get there quickly” -Ronnie
Does Dunn get anywhere quickly!?
The buffet line
The front of the line at Old Country Buffet!!
I don’t think it will be the LAST home run either Ronnie
Left fielders should be known for defense.
I’m like Eddie Gaedel with power
I’m like Merry but with the One Ring.
F*#% Giambi’s stache.
Suck it!!!
i am awesome
I’m like 2-2 with a R and 2 RBI
Here I come
Man do I deserve a beating.
did it look as close to being a HR on tv as it did on gamecast?
Looked pretty close live 26 and nearly blew over the RF’s head.
RBI bitches
Well, fuck me. How’d that get out?
I look like the #4 pitcher that I suddenly am.
Rich Hill wouldn’t have done that!
I was released today.
But Griffey’s glove just isn’t any good anymore.
I was released because I suck
Four runs won’t win me.
I’m done
Lou, why are you bringing in that spare Wuertz?
The Reds hit us at Wrigley when it’s windy..
I mean, DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!11
Let’s see what I can fuck with next.
I have become a Douche…
Maybe I’m pitching to keep my spot in the bullpen.
Why me? Isn’t that why Gaudin and Lieber are in the pen?
But I’m a nine-game winning douche.
I am the suck.
I am so hitting a granny off this fuck.
If you do, #45, only two of the runs will be charged to me! WHEEEE!
Ok, maybe I’m not.
We’re shitty.
(snoring)…Wha? Oh…huh? Where’s my glove? OK…uh, Wuertz’s got it…Cool…(resumes snoring)
My forearm hurts.
You’re a pussy Harang. Hank Aaron would pitch through that pain.
Not right now Cornrroyo!
I’m on the DL.
Seattle is giving me $14 million to go away.
Senor Piniella, you are overworking my compadre, Geovany Soto. Give the man a day off, vato.
Earn-it business…Dude…clogging up the bases…Hank Aaron…weather…Neifi…when I played…
Lead off walk for me.
I have always been and always will be a douche…
Much like rainy days and Mondays, they always get me down.
We are the suck and Arroyo won’t go nine.
I am a douche bag deluxe!
I’ve always thought HOT WEATHER was something you EARNED, not something you would CLOG. But when I bought a NEIFI, I knew FISHING would be what HANK AARON and THE MEDIA told everyone about. You may as well put it on a RODAN.
Murton tells me the slumpbusters are easy to find in Des Moines.
Seriously, Lou. This game is still within reach, but won’t be for long if Wuertz stays in. Get Gaudin in there NOW!
Mike, you can pitch out of us. You’ll be our best guy.
Wuertz can be on me or under me, I don’t care which.
I will now do my Steve Trachsel Human Rain Delay impersonation
I want to cut Dusty’s balls off
Griffey just made me happen
My work here is done.
Wait, all three of those runs are charged to ME? That’s not how it’s supposed to work.
Jesus Christ Lou, I’m fucking ready!
I am the living embodiment of shitty.
This fucker’s going to land in Grand Rapids.
It’s not Wuertz’s fault! Lou needs to use him more often.
Remember to bring some change Michael.
Jason Marquis v. Mike Wuertz for last man on the pitching staff?
There are no winners here.
For the east-west tollway
Wow… we got an out. This is some pretty exciting stuff.
Looks like we’re gonna get some playing time today
I’m a raging alcoholic … at least I have reason to be drinking tonight!
Lou is leaving Wuertz out to me.
maybe if lou let me pitch more than once every two weeks, I’d be a little sharper out there
Welcome back Mike! You want the $5.99 chicken florentine again?
Do I get charged for that run too?
Lord, we are a bunch of annoying ****ers.
You’re lucky I don’t kill you with my bare hands.
Lou
I feel like you are soda popinski. “I’ve been drinking… so I’m gonna walk all over you!”
Wheeee!! A strikeout!
I might not be pitching because of how I did in my last start against these Reds.
eight runs won’t win me.
But why the fuck am I not pitching?
Sincerely,
Chad Gaudin
How Lou has always had faith in this douche! I never liked the guy! He always ALWAYS shit’s the bed!!
Leadoff double
Nice jimmy. Making Bronson arroyo realize he can’t bring that weak breaking ball shit back in here. Now lets hope everyone can follow suit.
11 runs won’t win me. Ok, maybe it will.
I had better get grilled in the post-game presser for this Wuertz situation today. No damn reason he should have stayed in that long. Goddamn it, Lieber and Gaudin are out there, the break is in three days, and your starters on Saturday and Sunday should be able to go 6-7 innings. After today, you get Cain and Lincecum throwing against us again, and you’re looking at a 3-3 homestand against two shitty teams.
C’mon DeRo – let’s get some back
I’m on deck
I’m like a less buff Kyle Farnsworth
1st, read #90
2nd, look up Lieber’s splits vs LHB
3rd, take about 250 oxycontins and a big swig of scotch
So I’m short one bat on the bench so I could use Wuertz? What the fuck was I thinking?
Little Lord Fontenot has been on fire since San Fran… BALCO anyone?
but just as smart #100.
Suck it Arroyo. 8-5 now.
Suck it, detractors.
See, see? Cajuns can play this game. Put my ass in Lou.
Fontenot’s new nickname.
Never has one player been so villified for a performance in ONE GAME!!!
Why am I still in Des Moines?
We lose, 4-1.
That’s generally what happens when you give up a homer to every guy on the opposing team, along with the pitching coach, usher and two old ladies sitting in the fourth row… people tend to remember it.
We lost but we’re still the best fans in baseball.
Double treats for everybody!
JOn, you were bonerific in ’01. I’d just prefer you pitching against the giants these days … wrigley + LHBs = not good for you.
Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…Pretend they aren’t the Reds…
Fuck, that didn’t work. 9-3 now.
so… prayers for rain? Then again, it is the reds and their pen…
Nine runs…ahhhhhhh, fuck it.
What the fuck Lou? Seriously?
You suck Lieber.
Shit Lou, you should have left me in there. I could have done this.
Mr. Wuertz welcome, you can move into the Remlinger suite if you like
Chill. Do we even know how much he pitched this week?
VICTORY!!!
it doesn’t matter how much i’ve pitched lately…once you move to the NL everything starts over from zero
how do you say “quit bailing out of the box” in japanese?
Man, if we pick Neifi up we might be able to catch these guys after the break.
I don’t know but in St. Louisian, it is “Get A Brain! Moran”
I’m here. Too bad it’s already a complete game.
Jon Lieber throwing filth!
wow… VORP donkey angry
that went a long fucking way
I just hit a building across the street. 10-5 now.
crooked number time.
I only gave up four.
Watching the Cubs get their ass kicked is fung, mang! Northside culos, caramba!
If I kill Lieber AND Wuertz I can bring up two hitters.
None of this is my fault.
Which is why I haven’t bothered to make one fucking trip out to the mound.
Man, I should take Arroyo out now. The pen will hold this.
CLOGGERS!
This is all Lou’s fault. ALL LOU’S FAULT!
Iz gunna DO this guyz… LOLERSKATES!
Take a strike…Take a strike…Take a strike…
Wow… thank god it’s the reds.
and a run 10-6 now.
2nd and 3rd nobody out. Dance Fever up.
That felt big
You make no sense. Every here is now just a bit more stupid from reading your nonsense. Please walk on to oncoming traffic for the sake of the world.
I’ll take the run… but that should have been bigger.
Suck ass. There’s always a chance!
I guess I didn’t get to second on that throw. Double play but a run scores.
10-7
I meant that for #143. My mind was still trying to get back together from reading that garbage.
I was mocking #40. I actually agree with you. Lilly’s not a douche.
43 or 143?
We got this. My pen is lights out.
Where’s Darren?
I think the verizon commercial with the “crab grass” lady would be so much better if the “here me now” could just cap her in the face halfway through it.
I was making fun of 40.
I’m in. Hopefully in time to get my first cubs win
Oh shit, I’m in now.
GAUDIN-I! making magic happen on the mound.
Yes, I realize just how stupid that statement was, but i couldnt stop myself from submitting it.
Sometimes you have a bad bullpen day? Jesus… make it stop
How’s that for my Cubs debut!
Maybe I suck too. 11-7 now.
Lou, put me in! Oh, shit.
So tell me about this place you call Iowa?
I only gave up four runs.
How’s it going, guys?
Or not. Maybe I will just add to the carnival of suck today, just to be one of the guys.
I told you incessant, annoying fucks that I wasn’t Sandy Koufax, but you had to keep bitching about putting me in the game.
ESPN Gamecast has me all blue. But these Cubs pitchers really are making magic happen.
To be fair, it’s not everyday that you see the likes of Cody Ross in the American League.
What’s wrong with the Cubs? This team is doomed, DOOMED.
Check out those stretch singers.
I have two home runs today? Me? Holy shit!
Are we more annoying than Local Guy?
We think we are.
Who let Chip Caray in the booth to sing the stretch?!??!?!
But when are they really going to put me IN this game?!
definitely. get rid of these “celeb” singers already.
2nd place, WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh of course Gaudin sucks when you put me in a game like this one.
American girls originated near Milwaukee… they’re spies!!!!!
yeah, well we’re better fans! So nyah nyah nyah
Nothing to add. Just wanted to make sure my name made an appearance.
Did someone say Dick Pole?
Wow… helluva at bat
I’m making this fucker work!
All freaking star!
Apparently I’m not blowing out anymore.
Time to part ways with me while I actually did this team some good.
well… teh good news is we still are facing the Reds…
I gave up one hit yesterday, you ass clowns gave up 15! What the hell?
Dad… its time… we want you to boink some random chick… try this hair coloring.
If we hadn’t pitched we’d be ahead now.
Can i come in a fuck too?
If I’d never been born, the Cubs would be 2003 World Champions.
Nice to see Cubs pitching not give up a run in an inning
1-2-3 bitches.
Bro dudes, if I had never been born, the Cubs would have been 2003 World Series champions.
Time for my secret weapon… the double switch!
Shit just happens when I bat.
I only blow out when the Reds are up.
Wind wasn’t blowing out then. Votto must have hit it into the suck.
I totally polluted the mound today. 12-7
Don’t worry Michael. You just need a little rest. A nice long dirt nap..I mean nap.
Sucked today. As well as all the kids out of school polluting Desipio today.
Hey Muskrat, when was the last time the Cubs had at least 5 pitchers in a game and they all gave up dingers?
Well this sucked. But they still won the series. People need to remember that.
#208, remember it, write it down, take a picture I don’t give fuuuck!
By the way, I still haven’t made a trip to the mound.
We need to get rammy up this inning to make cordero crap himself.
I’m rather man-nish looking, don’t you think?
Glad we didn’t clog the bases in front of all these home runs or we would have scored a lot more.
#213 is me.
#214
Making fun of that douchebag never gets old or repetitive!
Yes you are right. But there is so much to say about that asshat that the same thing over and over gets to be about as much of a kick in the balls as this game has been today.
Fair enough
Lost it today. If we would have had a decent outing by Lilly, 7 runs should have capped the game. Instead we had every one go out to the mound just to take a greasy dump on the mound.
Test
dead sexy
Without me, these gameday threads will be chaos. How can people possibly use snarky, referencial humor without me?
Hey! We’re back!
You suck #221!
test
WHERE ARE MY PANTS????
wtf happened to me???!?
Is there any plan to put anything in the right most third of my screen?
Cool Layout Andy! All it needs is the post numbers though…
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! I am the worst.
Desipio Nation:
if the old website layout comes back to visit, and you guys give it a standing ovation, then that would be disgusting.