Matt Cain’s yahoo! picture looks kinda like me, no?
Simon
on July 11, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Stand on your right foot
Re: Newbie
on July 11, 2008 at 1:45 pm
If it is your first post, how do you know the new look is good. Maybe it sucks little square box ass?
Desipio Part Deux
on July 11, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I do have a very clean look/feel though. Not bad.
Although, I think I will miss the numbered posts.
Marqu with a K
on July 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I rock! I’ve put down two scoreless innings. I can probably relax a bit now and just throw some pitches.
J Rod
on July 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Marquis must be keeping his pitches down, at least. 5 out of 6 outs have been ground outs. Yay?
Marquis Marq
on July 11, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Things will go good until my evil twin brother shows up. He’ll have a goatee.
Bob
on July 11, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I know why Jason’s pitching well. I called him late last night and told him to throw a no-hitter, or else I would call the police and tell them about the time Jason was driving his ’98 Saturn around the neighborhood and hit the little girl, and stayed up until 3 AM cleaning the blood and hair off his windshield and never told anyone.
cleaning blood
on July 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Actually not too big a problem when you have Kendall and Lilly as teammates last year. They really know their blood cleaning.
Second Base Umpire
on July 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I’m fucking blind
Phantom Calls
on July 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm
There is no need for a review….we do not need to get calls right….Theriot is just slower than he actually looks….sleep sheep sleep
Matt Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I have an ERA+ of 99 and a 1.33 WHIP, but the best offense in baseball can’t even *touch* me.
Seriously, what the fuck?
99
on July 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I am an amazing ERA. This means that Matt Cain gives up more runs per 9 innings than many teams score in a month.
The Wolf
on July 11, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Gentlemen, I can help you with all the blood cleaning you may need. I will be there in 15 minutes.
Molina Clones
on July 11, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Don’t let the republicans know, but we’ve been cloning Molina catchers for years.
ERA+
on July 11, 2008 at 2:19 pm
not ERA.
I wish he had an ERA of 99.
T.R. Lilly
on July 11, 2008 at 2:19 pm
There are quicker ways of cleaning up blood and hair, my friend
Mr. Mxyzptlk
on July 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I just tuned in. Why Ward in left and The Pulse in right? Is something wrong with my connection?
Elmer Fudd
on July 11, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I think cain’s pic looks more like me.
Bruised Leg Tired
on July 11, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I am Fukudome. Fuk U is available off the bench.
Marquis
on July 11, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Maybe I should get hit by pitches more often.
Giants offense
on July 11, 2008 at 2:36 pm
We have a biiiiig helmet to fill. Maybe the Barry will come back and play for us. His walks alone would help. Our spirits at least. Somehow it would feel better to fail utterly with a man on first than fail utterly with noone on.
Marmol
on July 11, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Hey Lou! Can I come out and play? Maybe I should finish out the game? I had a whole day off.
The Worst Ever
on July 11, 2008 at 2:40 pm
is what this cubs live! is right now. somebody go wake up the funny people.
Hank White
on July 11, 2008 at 2:42 pm
When’s the last time I started in a game?
funny people
on July 11, 2008 at 2:47 pm
sorry, this game has put me to sleep. I refuse to say this has been a pitcher’s duel, since Marquis is not a good pitcher
Worst ever
on July 11, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I totally agree. I usually enjoy wasting time at work. Today it feels like work!
Santo
on July 11, 2008 at 2:50 pm
when does the game start? Is Bonds in the lineup?
Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm
The strike zone I’m getting is ridiculous.
DoubLee
on July 11, 2008 at 2:53 pm
About damn time something interesting happened. How about A-ram base hit!
Aculpulco Taco Pies for everyone!
Aculpulco Taco Pie Nazi
on July 11, 2008 at 2:55 pm
NO TACO PIE FOR YOU!
7th Inning Stretch Guy
on July 11, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Even though I’m probably a douchebag you’re going to have to listen to Len and Bob interview me.
Kramer
on July 11, 2008 at 3:05 pm
We’ve officially bottomed out. We need to retool.
The Worst Ever
on July 11, 2008 at 3:06 pm
is also what this bottom of the 7th interview is today
Fat Kangaroo
on July 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Get me to 3rd and perhaps I’ll hop my fat ass in on a sac fly.
MLB Gameday
on July 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm
In honor of the Fat Kangaroo, my graphic showed the pinch runner hop, Joey-style, on the marquee.
dying_diehard
on July 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm
The Kangaroo strikes again!
Matt Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I AM THE GREATEST PITCHER EVER!!!
MUTE button
on July 11, 2008 at 3:08 pm
has been exercised today
Matt Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm
112 pitches? I thought Dusty left town yesterday.
Fat Kangaroo
on July 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Scratch that. Let me pull Ronny out of my pouch and hop back to the dugout. Hopping to home plate would have been far too much for me.
Matt Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I AM NOT THIS FUCKING GOOD!!!
GOD DAMN FUCK
Matt Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Apparently I turn into Sandy fucking Koufax whenever the Cubs get runners in scoring position.
New Desipio
on July 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Why do I block out all the swear words? This isn’t the fucking Disney channel.
Matt Cain
on July 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm
But I’m up second this inning so maybe I’ll turn it over to the bullpen.
Bobby Howry
on July 11, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I <3 Fastballs
13 pitchers
on July 11, 2008 at 3:19 pm
sorry bench, but you are real short today.
Hoff Power
on July 11, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I’ve run thru all the slumpbusters in Des Moines.
dcexile
on July 11, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Does it really blank out the fucking swear words?
Reg Dunlop
on July 11, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Yeah but it highlights the f,uck scenes.
bunt sign
on July 11, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I better be on right now
Fontenot
on July 11, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I may be small but I got the power. Let me swing Dad, I mean Lou
ARam
on July 11, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Suck it, fat Giants reliever
Toro 38
on July 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Hell Yeah!
ARAMIS
on July 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Pancakes for everyone!!
Game
on July 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm
OVER
ARam
on July 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Bonertime. Douches.
Aramis
on July 11, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Where is Cesar dammit!!??
D-Lee
on July 11, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Shouldn’t have walked me.
Mark DeRosa
on July 11, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Ole!
Uh
on July 11, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Oh
DeRo
on July 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I can play five positions, all poorly.
Kerry Wood
on July 11, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Here we go again, doges!
I want to make the division race more interesting.
Kerry Wood
on July 11, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Here we go boys.
Ron Santo
on July 11, 2008 at 3:39 pm
God! Geez! Fuck!!!!!!
Wood
on July 11, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I’m afraid of a sub-.200 hitter.
Wood
on July 11, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I’m soiling my pants…again.
Motherfucker
on July 11, 2008 at 3:40 pm
No excuse for walking that little left-handed pussy.
Aaron Rowand
on July 11, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I can make a lot of sox fans happy right now
Aaron Rowand
on July 11, 2008 at 3:43 pm
But I didn’t.
Wood
on July 11, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I got three outs, stifle, bitches.
Go Cubs Go
on July 11, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Crank me bitches!
W Flag
on July 11, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Flapitty, flapitty, flap
L Flag
on July 11, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Why no more of me?
Roths-child
on July 11, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I saved the day.
BONERTIME
on July 11, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Whoo-yah!
Simon
on July 11, 2008 at 3:52 pm
put your left foot in, put your right foot out, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about
Adult Desipiots
on July 11, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Worst f*ucken game thread ever. Lame ass new format, too. Unrelated? I don’t think so.
Todays Game Thread
on July 11, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Lame. Nothing interesting. Full of kids out of school. I can’t wait for the next one!….guh….
Chip Caray
on July 11, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Game threads had their hey-day when I was around and thus there was a smartass comment to make every few seconds of the broadcast. It’s not so easy anymore, huh?!
the cast of wings
on July 12, 2008 at 12:47 pm
did somebody ask where the funny people were?
The cast of Queer Eye
on July 12, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Here we are. Yoohoo. Over here.
Oh….not that kind of funny, eh?
The riot
on July 12, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Watch me scoot. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lassie
on July 12, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I am raking today. I own Correia’s leg [humping furiously].
The Alfac duck
on July 12, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I am the anti-goat. I lay golden goose eggs on the Giants line score. May I sign one of my feathers for you?
Billy Beane
on July 12, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I miss me some Harden today. But Gallagher rocked the house last night. Kudos to me. Lemme tell you how smart I am. I passed on signing E-Patterson’s brother this spring, because I had a harden for Eric.
Kasper
on July 12, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Yes, my mom still dresses me. Stop laughing at me.
Jeff Gordon
on July 12, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Hey, how come I didn’t get asked back to Wrigley Stadium to sing while us “redneck rally gas wasters” were in town?
Cardinals Bullpen
on July 12, 2008 at 9:45 pm
No, we cannot hold a 10-5 lead. Or 11-10 for that matter.
Are the Cubs planning on hitting me today? Hmm?
I hope I get my 100 square foot strike zone again, too.
desipio frontpage is all retarded, and I’m too retarded to navigate. Smoking more pot to see if that helps.
Since we’re still before the All-Star Break, that means I’ll be decent today, right? I only go to hell in a handbasket after next Wednesday.
I happen when you scroll through comments that alternate boxed/not boxed.
I plan on hitting Cain today. A soft glancing blow on the leg that will not bother him but will walk in a run or lead to a run.
I guess we are not needed anymore. Kind of like the names on the Yankers jersees. It will make calling people out by their post number much harder.
The spread sucked today. Does anyone know where I can get 2 whole chickens and something to wash them down with?
Hey Daryl, I know exactly where you can get yo chicken and liter cola on!
Are you saying boo, or boo-urns? J/K. It’s nice. Jason Jason He’s our man!… right…anyone…
No I’m not the man. I’m the opposite of being the man. I’m a asshat douchebag clown boy.
I need to step on the 3rd rail on the blue line and make everyone happy…
Stand on your left foot
The new look is gorgeous
Men are gorgeous
…what number shall I say is calling…
(Ah, for the days of the Velvet Underground)…
Damn, that hurt.
Matt Cain’s yahoo! picture looks kinda like me, no?
Stand on your right foot
If it is your first post, how do you know the new look is good. Maybe it sucks little square box ass?
I do have a very clean look/feel though. Not bad.
Although, I think I will miss the numbered posts.
I rock! I’ve put down two scoreless innings. I can probably relax a bit now and just throw some pitches.
Marquis must be keeping his pitches down, at least. 5 out of 6 outs have been ground outs. Yay?
Things will go good until my evil twin brother shows up. He’ll have a goatee.
I know why Jason’s pitching well. I called him late last night and told him to throw a no-hitter, or else I would call the police and tell them about the time Jason was driving his ’98 Saturn around the neighborhood and hit the little girl, and stayed up until 3 AM cleaning the blood and hair off his windshield and never told anyone.
Actually not too big a problem when you have Kendall and Lilly as teammates last year. They really know their blood cleaning.
I’m fucking blind
There is no need for a review….we do not need to get calls right….Theriot is just slower than he actually looks….sleep sheep sleep
I have an ERA+ of 99 and a 1.33 WHIP, but the best offense in baseball can’t even *touch* me.
Seriously, what the fuck?
I am an amazing ERA. This means that Matt Cain gives up more runs per 9 innings than many teams score in a month.
Gentlemen, I can help you with all the blood cleaning you may need. I will be there in 15 minutes.
Don’t let the republicans know, but we’ve been cloning Molina catchers for years.
not ERA.
I wish he had an ERA of 99.
There are quicker ways of cleaning up blood and hair, my friend
I just tuned in. Why Ward in left and The Pulse in right? Is something wrong with my connection?
I think cain’s pic looks more like me.
I am Fukudome. Fuk U is available off the bench.
Maybe I should get hit by pitches more often.
We have a biiiiig helmet to fill. Maybe the Barry will come back and play for us. His walks alone would help. Our spirits at least. Somehow it would feel better to fail utterly with a man on first than fail utterly with noone on.
Hey Lou! Can I come out and play? Maybe I should finish out the game? I had a whole day off.
is what this cubs live! is right now. somebody go wake up the funny people.
When’s the last time I started in a game?
sorry, this game has put me to sleep. I refuse to say this has been a pitcher’s duel, since Marquis is not a good pitcher
I totally agree. I usually enjoy wasting time at work. Today it feels like work!
when does the game start? Is Bonds in the lineup?
The strike zone I’m getting is ridiculous.
About damn time something interesting happened. How about A-ram base hit!
Aculpulco Taco Pies for everyone!
NO TACO PIE FOR YOU!
Even though I’m probably a douchebag you’re going to have to listen to Len and Bob interview me.
We’ve officially bottomed out. We need to retool.
is also what this bottom of the 7th interview is today
Get me to 3rd and perhaps I’ll hop my fat ass in on a sac fly.
In honor of the Fat Kangaroo, my graphic showed the pinch runner hop, Joey-style, on the marquee.
The Kangaroo strikes again!
I AM THE GREATEST PITCHER EVER!!!
has been exercised today
112 pitches? I thought Dusty left town yesterday.
Scratch that. Let me pull Ronny out of my pouch and hop back to the dugout. Hopping to home plate would have been far too much for me.
I AM NOT THIS FUCKING GOOD!!!
GOD DAMN FUCK
Apparently I turn into Sandy fucking Koufax whenever the Cubs get runners in scoring position.
Why do I block out all the swear words? This isn’t the fucking Disney channel.
But I’m up second this inning so maybe I’ll turn it over to the bullpen.
I <3 Fastballs
sorry bench, but you are real short today.
I’ve run thru all the slumpbusters in Des Moines.
Does it really blank out the fucking swear words?
Yeah but it highlights the f,uck scenes.
I better be on right now
I may be small but I got the power. Let me swing Dad, I mean Lou
Suck it, fat Giants reliever
Hell Yeah!
Pancakes for everyone!!
OVER
Bonertime. Douches.
Where is Cesar dammit!!??
Shouldn’t have walked me.
Ole!
Oh
I can play five positions, all poorly.
Here we go again, doges!
I want to make the division race more interesting.
Here we go boys.
God! Geez! Fuck!!!!!!
I’m afraid of a sub-.200 hitter.
I’m soiling my pants…again.
No excuse for walking that little left-handed pussy.
I can make a lot of sox fans happy right now
But I didn’t.
I got three outs, stifle, bitches.
Crank me bitches!
Flapitty, flapitty, flap
Why no more of me?
I saved the day.
Whoo-yah!
put your left foot in, put your right foot out, do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about
Worst f*ucken game thread ever. Lame ass new format, too. Unrelated? I don’t think so.
Lame. Nothing interesting. Full of kids out of school. I can’t wait for the next one!….guh….
Game threads had their hey-day when I was around and thus there was a smartass comment to make every few seconds of the broadcast. It’s not so easy anymore, huh?!
did somebody ask where the funny people were?
Here we are. Yoohoo. Over here.
Oh….not that kind of funny, eh?
Watch me scoot. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I am raking today. I own Correia’s leg [humping furiously].
I am the anti-goat. I lay golden goose eggs on the Giants line score. May I sign one of my feathers for you?
I miss me some Harden today. But Gallagher rocked the house last night. Kudos to me. Lemme tell you how smart I am. I passed on signing E-Patterson’s brother this spring, because I had a harden for Eric.
Yes, my mom still dresses me. Stop laughing at me.
Hey, how come I didn’t get asked back to Wrigley Stadium to sing while us “redneck rally gas wasters” were in town?
No, we cannot hold a 10-5 lead. Or 11-10 for that matter.
Ummm…go Rams?
i am getting ready stick in the cardinals
STORM THE BASTILLE!