Pitching matchup:
Tards: Braden Looper, 10-9, 4.29 ERA
Cubs: Theodore Roosevelt Lilly, 11-6, 4.35 ERA
Hey, neato site, huh?
We’re going retro today! (Mostly because the new site isn’t working right. But roll with it.)
Shop the Desipio/Pointless Exercise Store
Where am I today?
we should stay here.
remember what happened in the playoffs last year when we went to some odd despio2.com site?
yeah.
Anyone?
Len and Dan are sitting uncomfortably close to each other.
I am watching my kid play baseball.
I’m in Idaho watching my son play.
Phonse, lf
Dance Fever, ss
6-4-Lee, 1b
E-Ramis, 3b
Kos-K, rf
Geo, c
Lassie, cf
DeRosa, 2b
TRL, p
The Beaver LF
JFK 2B
Granpujols 1B
Luddite RF
Glaus 3B
some Molina C
Pizza Pizza SS
Looper P (but hes got total conciopusness which is nice)
Skippy CF
I can’t stand good.
Here, let me flip a routine flyball to LF with guys on. You don’t need an RBI guy in the 5-spot.
woof
I have the seventh-lowest batting average of the eight regulars, and Lassie may catch me!!!
As nice as it would’ve been if Lassie would’ve woof’d all over St. Louis in the new urinal cake, I like that he was obviously waiting to woof over them at Wrigley.
where are all you haters now?
Santo: If anyone is around the plate, they’re going to give up homeruns.
Apparently the only way to avoid giving up homeruns is to walk people?
#14, the haters are sipping 40’s and waiting for their unemployment checks in their trailers.
…convincing Jokudome, if Fukudome didn’t trail three other regulars by a mere .001.
One of very few saving graces of living in Peoria, IL (aside from bearing witness to the most exciting 2 inning rehab start for Mark Prior, ever) is that we get FSN Midwest, who broadcasts a large share of Cardinal games. It’s kind of interesting to hear a different perspective on the game. When Edmonds just hit that home run, the Cardinals color commentator discussed how well Jim handled the BS with LaRussa that he was asked about going into the previous Cardinals series. The commentator berated LaRussa basically for being a snake and creating problems where there otherwise wasn’t one. Hearing their own broadcasters talk like this, is there any question as to why Ozzie Smith will have nothing to do with them while LaRussa is with that team?
Not that everyone on this site didn’t already know Tony is a stroke. Just found it interesting from a different perspective.
Am I back for good?
The wind is blowing in, but a home run is still possible…Ron to deep for most of the common folk.
Who is the cockcheese who’s filling in for me? Badly?
I can’t believe Al Hrabosky or ANY of those Cardinal homer broadcasters beratign The Genius on their telecast.
Me?
I gotta get a bat behind me or I’m not gonna see any pitches
Wouldn’t have thought so either…it was nice to hear.
If it is me, I really fucking suck. I’m an annoying, whiny, bell-end.
Move The Riot to 5?
The Japanese dream seems to be getting better wood these days though…
I just said you could “moot” the TV and watch along with that In Sync device.
I don’t know if we’ll stay with this format, but we’re going to find numbered comments regardless. Or irregardless if you like a superfluous ir at the beginning of your words.
The question is moot!
I’ve only thrown like 40 pitches in four innings. I’m going twelve today.
I did the Sox game the other night, the one with the big comeback, and I sucked in that one, too.
Plesac is sucking off Pujols for his defense, and I’m not going to pretend he sucks, but on that last play, he fell to his knees for no reason and made that throw a lot harder than it had to be.
Maybe he’s just used to hitting his knees when Edmonds has his cock pointed at him?
Certainly like the numbered comments. Makes taunting easier.
Len says there’s an extra Buzz there today. Is it me?
That rally just me’d.
Maybe it’s to keep all the stress off that elbow when he throws…if he ever had to go to third, I’m pretty sure that his arm would explode.
You guys wanna meet my Uncle Ulnar?
I thought my TV was broken when it showed Cesar hitting a double, then I saw three Cubs miss a cutoff and knew it wasn’t.
WTF?!?!?
Laugh all you want about my bad elbows, legs, feet, back, etc. Let’s how well you hold up when you get to be my age.
Damn, the seventh hitter’s on third. I guess I’ll walk the eighth guy to get to the pitcher. Oh, wait. Never mind.
was pretty much all suicide. Suck on that Genius.
That should have worked! I am a genius, and I called for it! Someone broke the rules!
I like how Plesac said that if you’re a pitcher and you see the guy break from third on a suicide squeeze that you can just drill the batter so it’s a dead ball and the guy has to go back to third. Nice.
dammit…what happened
I called for a suicide squeeze, the pitch was low and in and Looper couldn’t bunt it, so Cesar ran into an easy out at home.
My speed and agility are Duncan-esque.
I’m throwing a lot of balls, maybe you guys should stop swinging for a little while.
How about we take the first game of every series off for the rest of the year?
If the Cardinals get 2 more it’s over.
Runners at second and third?
Apparently, 50, you haven’t met us.
So if Soriano throws to second instead of third, it’s still 2-1 now, but that would have been a DP.
You no pitch to me? You sissies.
But you know, you OK, any team who schedules games so I can eat dinner at 4 p.m. is all right by me.
You make a fine point, sir.
Followed by an unintentional walk, all described unintelligibly by Ron Santo?
I’m hang-alicious so far. He should stop throwing me while it’s still 2-1.
I’m 0-26 against the Cubs this year. What are the chances it’s 0-27 after this at bat with the bases loaded?
Plesac just said “You’re in just as big of trouble with the bases loaded as you are first and third.”
Uh, no…you’re not.
Tits!
That throw was the balls.
Tits…balls, whatever!
THE SECOND TIME WE HAVE BEEN TAGGED OUT AT HOME! I AM A LAWYER, AND THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
Apparently, I don’t get cable TV.
Cable TV? I live in my van.
Gee, Wally, I thought I was safe!
We enjoy popping up on pitches that are outside.
I just told Ron that I couldn’t wait for my HOF induction speech to be over. Why didn’t he just punch him in the sack?
Damn, we are really trying today
Ruff! Ruff!
I like it ruff!
I just turned down a trade to the Red Sox. Apparently, I enjoy surfing in October.
Down by the river?
I bunted! Whee how many is that worth?
Like my slide? You’re welcome. I do that all the time. I should be a Cub.
Goose looks just like he did when he pitched for the Cubs.
He was washed up then, too.
Hey Geo, get on, I’m going yard again. I just to smell the angst that pours out of Cardinals fans when I do it.
The Cardinals are coming! Tra La! Tra La!
Priceless.
Len: What’s the last week been like for you, Goose?
Goose: I can’t put it into words.
Len: Alright, thanks for stopping by. Goose Gossage everybody!
would you consider this game to be a pitcher’s duel?
What’s that Tony? You’re so far back, I can’t hear you!
Smell the angst. Breathe deep. Fuckwads.
Woof x2.
Wow, pretty good are you.
Everytime Lassie does something good, I fight myself.
woof x2
I’m not sure how I feel about that curtain call, but I know it just pissed off the Cardinals fans, so actually I do know how I feel about it.
Suck on it.
I command you to love me.
Was just invented. That is pretty cool.
Shit. I hit that harder than Lassie’s.
Is that Edmonds’ first curtain call with the Cubs?
Should I really be batting?
Shhh. It’s me in white face. They just think it’s Ted.
I would be a better interview than the current Goose who is making my eardrums bleed.
The end of that interview was painful, it was like the time Bill Buckner wouldn’t leave the booth.
I think I am going to buy Edmonds t-shirts for all the Cardinal fans at work
I can sky.
Tall, when necessary.
I really don’t know why Ted stayed in. Unless Lou’s goal is to lose 4-2.
They’re stalling. I’m coming in to pitch to Albie.
Right?
Shit, I’m working at Walgreen’s now?
Anyone think otherwise?
Was that a pitchout?
You hear that? That’s the Cubs beginning to choke their season away!!
That pitch was nice. Too bad I had to drill the backstop with the one before it.
Seriously, Tony, speak up. When you’re that far back there, nobody can hear you.
discuss
Guh. Did you ever think there would be a day when you’d intentionally walk the great Ryan Ludwick?
What’s to discuss? Do you want an analyst or a wigless tranny?
Is there a hole down the middle of the plate that isn’t a strike? Where was that one?
The only thing that I don’t like about the IBB is that Marmol’s command can be shaky at times, and 4 balls in a row can’t help it.
I was in the on-deck circle…
Smoke!
Enjoy your 0-28, Troy.
doges
I loves me some Troy Glaus…his suckitude is surpassed by no one.
I’ve posted three times at Desipio. Notice a trend?
Tony
You hear that? That’s the Cubs beginning to choke their season away!!
From Cubs Live! – Cardinals at Cubs, 1:20 pm, 8/8, 2008/08/08 at 3:18 PM
2008/08/08
Tony
The Cardinals are coming! Tra La! Tra La!
From Cubs Live! – Cardinals at Cubs, 1:20 pm, 8/8, 2008/08/08 at 3:02 PM
2008/08/08
Prince
Ready for the Cubs to get swept next week just like the Cards were this week?
The Cubs are starting to choke early this season
From Cubs Live! — Marlins at Cubs, 1:20 pm, 7/25, 2008/07/26 at 9:42 PM
Len wants Theriot to run here, but he’s been caught stealing more than any other player in the NL.
I hope I don’t GIDP right here
You can’t send me to avoid the DP, it’ll just turn into one if Lee K’s.
Derrek, if you feel like hitting into a DP, strike out!
if im gonna get out, at least let me K
Andy, that’s because I take a half-step back toward the first-base bag before any steal attempt, for some silly reason. Even I don’t understand why.
Hold ’em. I’ll walk off in the ninth.
Nice job Derrek. I’ll take it from here.
when i bat with a man on, it’s like there are two outs in the inning.
what i just did was half an out.
2.5 outs, one on.
thats a success story
You walk E-ramis to get to me, I’m going sayonara!
BB to E-Ramis, The Genius brings in the lefty, Reed knocks in the go-ahead run.
I’ll killing rallies on both sides!
Time to earn my stripes.
Shucks, time for Samarakl;jasdkfjlipaioufa
I get rounder all the time.
We know how Cardinals fans feel about Edmonds. It’s tough to see Cesar in a different uniform…nah, I couldn’t say that with a straight face.
To fucking Cesar. Here comes the HGH king.
If you throw him anything he can pull, I’m going to kill you.
Jesus H. Christ, somebody call for a pop-up.
So, you have a leadoff BB and the pitcher’s spot due up. Assuming you can keep Little Cesar from stealing on you, it’s such a likely waste of a PH.
Genius.
I just don’t trust Theriot.
Holy crap, do I even know a runner is on? I should. I put him there.
Now I think a runner stealing third is good for the pitcher.
I’m a tool.
Get the Milk Bones ready! I’m putting the capper on this thing!
Now that was a nice play by me.
I learned how to hit in the 9th inning from Neifi!!!
If Chris Perez really does pitch the ninth, it’s over. He’s shitty.
Nice chest bump of DeRosa by Samardzjia after that.
Who am I? Jon Miller?
Pair-rez? Really?
Why am I swinging so hard?
I haven’t been very good since April.
Dammit…wonder if Jim still has his receipt for Fukudome
Maybe I’ll bunt?
But I’m awesome.
Time for me.
I can score from here on a triple.
Maybe.
I look like Calvin Schiraldi.
Unless Lassie homers again, Geo ain’t scoring.
i’m lurking!
No Gameday. Appreciate real time updates.
Andy, thx for participating. Your contributions are good, but your presence is as garlic to the vampires of idiocy.
The game will stop when I want it to!
enter Ron Ce
Ronny’s coming in to be out if Edmonds walks.
Notice that Albert throws after the force because he assumes Ronny will be wandering off of second.
Actually, I’m surprised that didn’t work.
Get the fat girls prepped!
Hero time!
If this gets to Ward, but we don’t win it. I’m coming in!
Ugh.
Somebody tell Hank to put down those shinguards!
I’m in the bullpen. Motivation for the bats.
Yay?
Leave me in. Please.
…I mean put on those shinguards. Damn!
This strike zone is almost wide enough for me to hit.
That slider was nasty!
According to me, the strike zone gets wider with every pitch. Ridiculous.
I’m up in the pen. There will be a fight at the bat rack!
Reed Johnson
I’m a cheating bum.
I just assume that every grounder up the middle will go through. That way I’m surprised the one time out of eight that Theriot shows up in the picture.
Bring in Isringhasin, we need to win!
That foul ball went through Hank’s and the umps legs.
What resolution do you have to have to get Theriot to show up on your screen?
Any outcome of that at bat short of a homer was a win for Jeff.
Maybe I’ll try to steal second!
Go for it, Grandpa.
What was I thinking?
Nice call!
Samardzjia didn’t check Albert and his inability to hold a runner actually ended up getting the runner picked off.
Better end this now, before the horseshoe falls out of our arse.
If this goes 18, I’m ready tomorrow!
If I don’t end it, our skinny Dominican lead off man is still busy building his player of the month case for August. He can take care of it.
Fat Daryle stole my swing.
I’m not going to try to homer here, I’m just going to cut down my swing and…
Fuck that! I’m going yard!
Glad we put Ward in
Seriously, why is Howry up? We can’t use Wood?
I’m breaking out the knuckler.
Here I come!
What about me?
Bob only throws one bad pitch per appearance.
The rest are terrible.
This game’s taking too long. I’ll take care of that.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
Oh Oh, I feel a big splat coming.
So does every Cubs fan watching.
Every time I let go of a throw like that, you expect it to either be 10 feet short of Lee or in the dugout.
i was right down the pipe.
Hopefully we wear Howry out, so we don’t have to see him for the rest of the weekend
Two outs in a row. Game ball please.
Bob loves us.
Troy Glaus is no Scott Rolen,HA, that makes me laugh and cry
he does!
Fuck you guys!
(Actually, I don’t blame you, I surprised myself.)
1-2-3 inning. Stifle, bitches.
Somebody call Oleg, Howry got the final out at 4:20.
Is it cool if I hang out guys?
Like that.
Sheesh, I hope Aramis doesn’t hit into a double play!
i’ve got a taste for pancakes
This one is for my fighting cocks and it’s going way out there sucka!
I think Derrek running on that 3-1 pitch cost the Cubs a walk. E-ramis tried to save him by fouling it off.
Go Wrigley Field! I mean Cubs!
I’ll take a BB and a Kos-K SAC Bunt.
Of course, on the next pitch it got him to third.
Oh hell yes Ramirez…come on Cubs. End this thing.
OK1972 is one of my favorite posters. He’s high-minded and thoughtful.
3 chances to get a runner 90 feet. I like it.
I take mighty swing and hit pop ball that falls happily on grassy green between reft and center.
I do this myself.
You dare not walk him to get to me!
I am the king of the lazy fly ball just deep enough to score a guy from third.
OR, I can always bounce it off the shortstop’s head like I did back in the Latin world Series two years ago.
Why are they afraid of Fukudome? Oh, shit Hank White is up next.
Hero time!
Eat that, Genius.
Yank White!
Hey 223, the thought of bouncing a game-winning hit off of Pizza! Pizza!’s dome is hilarious.
atta boy Hank
YATZEE!!
That was a clean single, baby. Enjoy being seven games out you shitstains!
I have my Nank White shirt on, but no pants.
OK, I’ll gladly eat my words today
+ 5
Hank! White! Efemale! Ogdens!
You are just lucky that I did not hit. Could you imagine the number of bodies littering the Mississippi if I accounted for all the offense if the cubs won?
Do I get a little tiny bonertime!?
Cesar wasn’t playing where I thought he’d be, so I missed his head by about three feet. Maybe tomorrow!
Nothing is better than a postgame onfield interview with Hank White, Big Game Hero.
Yeah! I win!
You get a Latino-American Bonertime! Replete with native country flag!
That is all.
Flappity, flap, flap, flap!
Speaking of flags…
Back in the old digs, an excellent Cubs Live! and a walk off winner by Hank White against the Tards. Doesn’t get much better than this.
This game was a Desipiot’s wet dream.
Whoo whoo!
I am a proud owner of a Hank White Fan Club baseball t-shirt.
What kind of a corny motherfucking douche am I?
My wet dreams involve two models, and a large pizza
Well said. Just like the good old days.
http://www.hankwhitefanclub.com
Has been updated.
Thanks Dolan for going back to the old format.
The new one sucked.
This was fung, mang! I vote for old format, all the time. Wet kisses for the chulos and this game, it was fantastico!
I’m still “sleepy?”