Yesterday’s Cubs-Reds game has some pretty good moments. I particularly enjoyed it when Paul Wilson completely overreacted to Kyle Farnsworth buzzing him with a fastball when he squared to bunt in the bottom of the seventh. Wilson then stood there and yelled at The Farns. Then, he made his tragic mistake. Despite the fact that The Farns had a look on his face of someone who would really like to beat somebody senseless, Wilson started to come out to the mound. The Farns gleefully came after him, picked him up and piledrove him into the turf. I’m not even exaggerating.

As far as baseball fights go, this one was Tyson-Spinks. The only disappointing thing was that Farns’ big overhand right missed Wilson, or it would have really been broken nose city. But that was just the start.

Then, we got to see Damian Miller demonstrate perfect technique in the “slide onto the pile and ram guys with your shin guards” move. Dusty shoved Ray Knight, something we’d all like to do. Eric Karros had a lovely chat with Russell Branyan in which even the most basic of lipreaders enjoyed how Eric used the same word as a noun, a verb and an adjective. Very versatile.

Even Chip Caray got a good line in. Of the toughness of Branyan and fellow chatterbox Danny Graves Chip said, “There’s Danny Graves joining in. Everything you need to know about the toughness of Danny Graves is that he missed his last start with a blister on his finger.” Ouch! When you get dissed by Chip, you are pathetic.

See, this is where Sammy and I differ. If I were Sammy Sosa I’d have taken this opportunity to start whacking guys. I’d have run by the stands and grabbed the chair the ballboys sit on and bashed Bob Boone in the face with it. Then I’d have grabbed Aaron Boone by the mullet and swung him around. Then I’d have kicked Ken Griffey, Jr. right in the Achilles tendon. Then, I’d go to New York and appeal my 20 game suspension for fighting. Oh, wait…

The fight isn’t even the big Cubs news today. Sure the Sox are going to meet at old-new Comiskey and put on their uniforms, then get in their mini-vans and have their moms drive them to Wrigley for the start of the three-game series. But Jim Hendry finally made a trade for a third baseman!

Oh, wait, it’s just Jose Hernandez. Sigh.

As I’m wont to do, I scurried over to the cubstalk.com message boards to gauge the reaction of calm, rational Cubs fans.

Sorry, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. I like that message boad, but come on, they take all of this a little too seriously.

A guy who had heard the news of the trade, took the time to register on the site so he could post. He posted the trade and then got piled on by about 10 angry Cubs fans for posting unsubstantiated information. First off, it was substantiated, secondly, it’s a message board, it’s the freaking Petri dish of unsubstantiated information. It’s where you’re supposed to put it!

Then, finally, mainstream sources started reporting the trade and the talk turned to the merits of the trade. Basically, it was a bunch of Cubs fans bitching and moaning that the Cubs had botched it again and that they never get the really good guys like Mike Piazza or Scott Rolen or Mike Lowell. I understand that reaction, but let’s look at the trade a little closer.

The Cubs traded Mark Bellhorn for the following reasons.
1) He’s hitting .209, and Dusty had to be forced at gunpoint to play him the last few weeks.
2) Everybody’s tired of Chip calling him “The Horn.”
3) People now refer to one, fluke, productive year in a player’s career as their “Bellhorn Year.”
4) He’s a career .229 hitter with 36 career homers and he’s not a kid anymore. He’ll be 29 in August. If you’re waiting for him to get good and stay good, that bus drove off a long time ago, and neither you, nor he was on it.

The Cubs traded for Jose Hernandez because:
1) As Rick Pitino would say, he’s “multi-versatile”. He can play every infield position and the outfield. He was an All-Star last year (I mean sure, he was a Brewer, but still…), and he has a career average of .254 with 141 homers.
2) In his last three full seasons he’s hit .261 and averaged 20 homers, 70 RBI and 24 doubles.
3) The current lineup didn’t strike out enough.
4) He’s the only utility man in baseball they didn’t already have.

What it comes down to is the Cubs wanted to trade Bellhorn for a guy who could fill the gap at third base. Jose can do that. That doesn’t mean they won’t continue to try and trade for a top-flight third baseman. In fact, they didn’t even add much salary with this move. Jose’s contract is only for this year and it’s “only” $1 million. Bellhorn was owed $400K this year and next.

Say the Cubs pull off the pipe dream and trade for Mike Lowell. It gives them a bench with two of the best utility infielders in the game with Hernandez and Ramon Martinez. If only they had that kind of depth on the bench with their outfielders.

Another good reason for this trade. The Cardinals had spoken with Colorado about getting Jose to fill their now cavernous void at second base (with both Fernando Vina and Miguel Cairo on the DL for a long time). I have a hunch the Cardinals will trade for chubby Ron Belliard after he finishes his injury rehab–he’s on the DL with a twisted ankle. But that’s just me.

I like the trade for the short term. Jose will get a lot of at bats, but not enough to challenge Bobby Bonds’ single-season strikeout record like he did last year. Reuniting him with his old hitting coach, Gary Matthews, should help, too.

The Cubs are better today than they were yesterday. And that’s the only important thing. Plus, I don’t think Jim Hendry sees this as “the final solution”. (I apologize to any Holocaust survivors if that caused you to have a flashback–I didn’t mean it, that way.)

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As an organization, the Bulls have had some pretty punk moves pulled by their players.

1) Quentin Dailey gets drafted by the Bulls, then accused of raping a nursing student.
2) Scottie Pippen gets pulled over with an unregistered gun in his car.
3) Marcus Fizer does his Scottie Pippen impersonation.
4) Craig Hodges fouls Knicks’ guard Trent Tucker in the final seconds of a playoff game. The Knicks are down four, and Hodges fouls Tucker as he shoots a THREE POINTER.
5) Craig Hodges wakes up to find that his wife has doused him with gasoline and is throwing lit matches at him. (Even she knew how dumb that foul was.)
6) Dennis Rodman…oh, just pick one.
7) Stacey King has a great rookie year, gets fat, plays poorly, blames it on his uniform number. In fact, Stacey was so convinced that he was getting fouls that should be called on Michael Jordan that he changes his number from 34 to 21. Uh…Stacey, if the refs are seeing the three and calling it on you, how’s that big two going to help?
8) Jay Williams’ mom complains that the Bulls are being mean to her son.

I think we just got a replacement for number eight.

Yesterday, Jay wrapped his motorcyle around a telephone pole. He broke his leg, and his pelvis. He then tried to blame it on a Benton Harbor, Michigan police officer.

OK, that last part’s not true.

Yet.

I don’t think this has the immediate effect on the Bulls that some people are complaining about today. There was a rumor that Denver might trade the number three pick in the draft, which will be Carmelo Anthony, to Chicago for the number seven pick and Jay. I just don’t think that John Paxson was going to trade Jay. I don’t think this injury has any direct effect on the draft next Thursday (don’t forget, that we’ll be covering it live here on Desipio with our college basketball expert Jake Potter and legendary NBA expert Kelly Dwyer—he’s a legend, right? Someplace?).

But if Jay thought it was tough getting used to the physical style of play in the NBA last year, wait until he tries it with a freshly netted pelvis. Ouch, babe.

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As for this weekend’s Cubs-Sox games, we’ll be covering them just like we did the Yankees-Cubs series. There will be full recaps after each game.

One interesting thing. I got my deck of Iraqi Most Wanted playing cards in the mail, finally. Look who the eight of spades is.

Who knew?

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Jay Williams’ crash has left him in pretty tough shape. Maybe the motorcycle was a “happy summer” gift from Jamal Crawford?

The Cubs won the fight, but lost the game.

Paul Sullivan on the Hernandez-Bellhorn swap.

The Sox can’t bunt.

Phil Rogers breaks down the advantages in the Cubs-Sox series.

Rick Morrissey says this matchup always means more to Sox fans. He’s right. It means a lot…to all nine of them.

Before you get too excited about Bears draftee Brock Forsey, let me put it into perspective for you. He’s a white running back. Yeah, no reason to get excited.

Bucks fans don’t want MJ running their team. They’re right.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to completely miss the point on the Jay Williams thing. This isn’t a cursed kid. He’s actually a good player. He had a rough rookie year. Here’s a news flash for you doughnut boy, almost everybody has rough rookie years. Remember Dirk Nowitzki’s? Anyway…he’s not the Calamity Kid, but right now he’s the Demerol Dookie.

John Jackson says the Sox-Cubs is big, but it’s no Cubs-Yankees.

Are you serious? Eddie Jordan, Randy Ayers, Tim Floyd and Kevin O’Neill are NBA coaches? When’s my turn?

The Wizard of Roz on Larry Doby.

A Virginia Tech Board member said the ACC thing is a “bucketfull of worms.” I would imagine that in Virgina that means it’s lunch.

Tom Verducci opens his mailbag. Check out the Dodgers fan who is convinced that when Adrian Beltre gets traded he’ll hit .300 for somebody. How about the Cubs?

Spike Lee is suing to keep TNN from calling itself ‘Spike TV’. Oh, shut up.

Well, so much for the “smoking pot makes you sterile” argument.

How many times do you think Ashton said, “Don’t hit me, Mr. Willis” in that limo ride?

I can’t wait to not go see this Kelly Clarkson movie. You know the one she made with the loser from the first American Idol, old whatshisface, with the Sideshow Bob hair.

Alabamaians are lighting their kittens on fire.

A study says that women get turned on by both men and other women. Gee, that’s news. Cinemax figured that out like 20 years ago.

Sure, they didn’t show this chase on the evening news. Damnit!

What kind of world do we live in when a high schooler can’t wear her “Barbie is a lesbian” shirt to class?

The New York Times is reporting that Saddam is still alive. If they say so, he must be dead.

America’s finest news source with news of a Chicago man who kept 95 percent of his opinions to himself on Father’s Day. Nicely played. It’s never worth it.