Pitching matchup
Cubs: Theodore Roosevelt Lilly 14-9, 4.29 ERA
Astros: Brian Moehler  11-6, 4.16 ERA
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Pitching matchup
Cubs: Theodore Roosevelt Lilly 14-9, 4.29 ERA
Astros: Brian Moehler  11-6, 4.16 ERA
Lineups
Awfulonso Selfishiano LF
FONTEJESUS 2B
Derecles 1B
Pancakes 3B
Hoff RF
Hans Oto C
Lassie CF
RonCe SS
Burn Victim’s Nightmare P
Reggie PoppedCollar CF
Loretta 2B
MiHgHuel SS
Fat Elvis 1B
Missing Chromosome RF
Joe Castillo 3B
Darin HustleGrind LF
Jesus Quintana C
Cracked Moehler P
How far have I fallen? I can’t even get a start on a day after a night game?
Deadspin has your article atop the other Cubs blogs about Big Z, right above BCB who surmises the Astros were “shell shocked” from Ike.
First time I’ve seen Desipio linked on Deadspin so…yay?
http://deadspin.com/5049933/cubs-leave-the-mark-of-the-z
Seeing Hunter Pence’s nickname in the lineup reminds me of something from last night’s game. The fans in the RF bleachers were MERCILESS towards him. While he ran circles in the 3rd as the Cubs scored 4 runs, he was getting heckled on his defense. This quickly evolved in to mass chants of “Hunter….you suck!” His hitting prowess (not so cleverly) came in to question after striking out swinging early in the game. And he was loudly complimented for getting the Astros’ first hit of the game after getting beaned later on.
His chicken legs still frighten me.
My joke about’s Pence’s legs was classic. “Somebody better call the sheriff because the rustlers stole Hunter Pence’s Calves”.
Deadspin linked to us first when I mocked Jay Mariotti for leaving the Sun Times.
I’m strange looking.
Does this make you feel good, bad, or neutral?
The Deadspin attention? Or being linked with Al?
So far, Carlos has only half-assed it.
Koyie let me look at his hand yesterday. Made me hungry, actually.
Carlos no-hits them on Sunday, I intend to break the strikeout record on Monday.
This is still Ike’s fault.
Thats 10 straight hitless innings
Coop, I saved Europe and the Western World, and you want to blame me? Screw you.
One more milk bone for breakfast.
I suck
Deadspin attention.
Run on me again, and I’ll kill you
11 Straight hitless innings
The Astros must have forgot to pack their hitting shoes!
Can I kill Chip Caray, please?
This isn’t fair. We have to play a day game following a night game. This just isn’t fair!!!!!
Erstad’s still swinging at that pitch.
Did the Cubs send a DVD of the Astros error last night to Bud?
12 hitless innings
The second to last batter of the ninth in the final game of the Cubs-Astros series in Chicago two weeks ago reached on a hit, so the hitless streak is just one batter more than what Carlos and Ted combine for here.
Right now it’s 12 and a third hitless innings.
I’m more interested in us stretching our Miller Park winning streak to seven.
I prefer Hunter “I Just Shit My” Pence.
I’ll kill you too Hartig
Ed, I can provide a “happy ending” for you.
I just realized Hunter Pence sounds like Underpants.
Also, I’m in 3rd grade.
I got hit last night! Doesn’t that count?
I’ve had dates where all that was left of her was her HunterPence.
We’re so confident in Ted, we’re completely shutting it down for the day.
Pence was also taunted for wearing sleeves inside the dome. What a pansy.
It felt drafty in the dome
Uh oh, Reggie Abercrombie’s trying to bunt. This will drive Bob insane.
I wore sleeves in a dome.
So long everyone!
I’m standing the crop circle
Give it to a kid
In case you guys are missing out on #40’s implication, Pat Hughes is stating that Ned Yost has been fired.
Who’s the genius who painted everything that dull assed green around here?
I got it mang!
13 straight hitless innings
Yost fired? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to manage the Brewers again!
Somebody get a shovel and dig my ass up. And get me my leg!
That’s 13.1 hitless innings.
http://balls-and-strikes.blogspot.com/2008/09/ned-yost-fired.html
Crap now the Brewers are back in it, now that they got rid of Yost
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-brewers-yostfired&prov=ap&type=lgns
They were in it until they announced that Dale Sveum is the new manager. He’s dumber than Ned. All is well.
Woof!
Here’s the Brewers .com Link. Guess that Lou can use his office now.
Oh yeah, WOOOOOOOFFFFF
I’m just going to buy a house near Miller Park and play in every day game. That’s four homers in my last two day games here, and I barely missed a homer in my first AB today.
Lou couldn’t use that office last night because we were cleaning it out.
I like the trend of firing a manager and replacing him with the third base coach.
Not so fast, you hairless freak.
Hey Astros! What’s so fucking hard about this?
Ted has the worst looking swing…ever. It’s almost like he’s swinging an axe.
Oh, never mind…
Cecil just reminded me I’m supposed to be tired from all the travel.
I can tell you the first thing I’m gonna change. We’re going to start using the DH again!
If I finish this one, you will not be able to say, “Nobody even hit the ball hard.”
Where’d the picture go? What happened?
Check out my arms. I’ve got the Hank White starter kit tattoos.
How did Mike Maddux not get to lead the crew?
14 straight hitless innings
Fuck the Astros. You want to bitch about how you only got no-hit because you have a “home” game in Milwaukee? Well, you are still in Milwaukee, bitches.
Oh, boo hoo, Randy Wolf had to walk down 14 flights of stairs with a suitcase! He should call FEMA, maybe they’ll cut him a check.
DERREK FUCKING LEE!!!
Off the top of the wall, through the window.
I lived without power for over a week during Gustav. Fuck Randy Wolf.
Uh…I had to walk down 15 flights of stairs, carrying a water buffalo.
Betty Draper buys Heineken. She’s also smoking hot.
BONERTIME
Double Play that shit!
Thats gone
@ # 73: Me too!!
Yes, yes I am.
http://images.google.com/url?q=http://www.gearpatrol.com/images/januaryjones_4.jpg&usg=AFQjCNHloUJ-ZLiPSDJOPJ-sDTvSjlg–w
Real name’s January Jones.
Never seen a bunch of fucks just ‘phone it in’ like we’ve seen the past few days.
(Ahh, who am I kidding? I was around in 2006, 2002, 2000, 1999, 1997…..)
The Micah Fucking Hoffpauir experiment is over.
Why don’t the Cubs ever add on to their lead?
Oh, never mind.
Geo!
DOUBLE BONERTIME
The Geo Soto Experiment – SUCCESS
Yard, ogdens.
Someone listening or watching the game, are the Stros throwing at the Collie? Looks like it on game track.
I’m so excited, I can’t feel my legs!
They should be throwing at him, he just hit a foul ball about 480 feet.
Time to walk…the dog!
Anybody else think that other than the Astros, the only guy rooting harder against Ted’s no hit bid is Carlos? Carlos is rooting for a nine inning, one hit shutout.
Len sucks. A guy named Sampson is pitching and he hasn’t made one hair cut joke!
I was just thinking the same thing, Chippy.
Can we hurry this along, we’ve got a plane to catch…
Nah, I think Carlos is pulling for Lilly. If he pulls it off, then they can go do something silly together, like go buy matching H2’s, spray paint “NO NO” on the sides of each, then ride around Houston bangin’ into shit.
Somebody’s gonna drop a bunt down pretty soon.
My leg, I think it’s broken!
All in all, I still prefer murder.
You have me convinced, Sloth.
What’s the injury delay?
OK, Humberto, pretend you’re hurt and we’ll run the Ausmus play with two strikes!
Astro’s catcher Humberto Quintero took a foul ball right off his knee cap (while batting).
I fouled a ball off my leg and can’t get up.
Woof, woof, woof!
Woof
He only dives to make those look spectacular.
Or, perhaps not.
Awesome.
Fremd looks good this year, and so does TF South, and shit, I’m batting!
Edmond’s preserving history? Or tempting fate with showboating theatrics?
Hey. Kramer knows my brother Bob.
15 straight hitless innings
I say the Cubs never leave Miller Park.
Nope, Lassie had to dive for that one. That was pretty sweet.
I second that Andy
Shit, how much do we pay out in the back-to-back-nohitters contest?
Somebody call Zell. He’s going to have to sell another newspaper.
Shoot, missed the January Jones/Betty Draper talk. THAT’s good eatin’
By special request of the Cubs starting pitcher, our celebrity seventh inning stretch singer, is Milwaukee’s own…Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother!
I’ve crippled Quintero. I’ll be finishing him off at my leisure later on.
Ahh, shit. That’s gonna be a hit.
It’s an error!
If Ted gives up a hit later on, that’ll get changed, I’m sure.
Ned Yost will appeal that error, no doubt.
Ahh, shit.
I’ve got some free time.
balls
OK. Time to get serious and finish this win. Marmol and Woody need an inning each today, too.
I’m coming in to help put this one away!
Oh well, only 15 straight innings of no-hit ball
Damn, even when I don’t do something, Bob Brenly gets on me.
Nice finish there by Ted.
I’m going to go kill Mark Loretta’s dog.
#130,
Why waste time on a dog? I can already taste Loretta’s liver.
I’m coming in! Better keep Marmol warm, just in case.
This isn’t fair. They used too much starch in the sheets at our hotel.
I love Milwaukee! Can I have Ned’s job?
I say, I say, I say, I knew we shoulda played these games at our home ball field. Just put on some hip waders, get a tetanus shot and play ball!
I’ve sent a DVD of my firing to Bud Selig’s office.
#131
Try it with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
If the league ever figures out that I don’t throw very many strikes, I’m screwed.
Of course, if they never figure it out, screw ’em!
Gee, who saw this coming?
We’re still bitching about having to play in Milwaukee.
Well, they only have to bitch for five more outs.
At least you will not hear us bitching about having to play in October.
I’m no lock for the post-season roster unless I get better control in the next two weeks.
Wow, I just ribbed Dave Otto for his use of the word “filthy”.
Cubs are amazing with the expanded rosters. A seemingly endless bench when you can pull DeRosa off of it.
I will cut you when I find you rookie
What the hell? DeRosa’s the late inning defensive replacement now?
That would have been a checked swing in Houston.
The Astros are bringing in a lefty to pitch the ninth. Wouldn’t make much sense to double switch Kosuke or Felix into that.
What DID Fooky do to get in Lou’s DogHaus? Must have been something special. Either that, or the guy is so screwed up that Lou is protecting him
Stop bringing logic into this discussion Andy.
I love that people think there are non-baseball reasons to get into Lou’s doghouse. Like Felix partying too much, or Kosuke putting wasabe in Lou’s mentadent.
Now we’re saying that the fact our boys only have one hit in two games proves that it wasn’t fair to play in Milwaukee.
Here I come!
There goes the lead!
I’ll give the Astros a couple hits
something funny, wasabe on mentadent. hehe
We’ve got lots of sand in our vaginas
Why is Ted Lilly in our dugout? Why is he staring at me like that?
About to be six, female doges!
Loretta’s face looks really tasty
Is that a boning knife?
Those mean Cubs ran me off and traded me to Houston for Dewayne Staats’ perm! They wanted me to die in the hurricane
There’s a triumvirate of brains, Soriano, Cedeno and E-ramis.
Shit, Soriano could have ridden in on a rascal and caught that.
Do you know what sweetmeats are Mark?
Nah, it’ll be far more embarrassing when I strike out Fat Lance.
I share a brain with Manny Alexander
One casualty of Hurricane Ike was my hairpiece.
I catch pop-ups.
Cubs win!!!!!!
I was shot by a guy in Pearland because he thought I was a possum.
Holy Toledo! We suck! Our team is made up a bunch of self-entitled crybabies worse than I!
And in two games, the Astros get one run on one hit. One hit? We only got one goddamned hit?
Do they crank me in Milwaukee?
Flappity, flap, flap.
Hey, possum’s good eatin’.
Six!
How about a sweep of the Brewhas and a little champagne party?
Bob wonders if firing the manager is just the motivation the Brewers need.
If that’s what they needed, it was over long ago.
#173, you were sang quite loudly by the crowd after yesterday’s game (well, at least the refrain).
#172, You can’t say goddamn on the air!!!
Ahh, the hell with it. Nobody’s listening. Nobody in Houston has power!
Just the dick move…come up to Milwaukee and take two from the Asstrolls…just like boning yer neighbor’s wife while he’s off on a business trip, one where his boss gets fired, and his new boss is even a bigger dumbass!!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2008 National League Central Division!!
Why did Carlos Zambrano answer the phone at my house last night?
I cannot find my machete. I guess like I am going to take care of Mark Loretta with my bare hands.
What if we told you that we were going to spank the Asstros, then the Brewers and then the Mets, on our way to October.
Is that something you might be interested in?
What’s my name?