I’m sure there’s a method to this madness. I’m sure that my prejudice against Kirk Hinrich comes from watching white point guards flop with the regularity of Sylvester Stallone movies in the ’90s. I’m sure Kirk is flattered by the Jeff Hornacek comparisons.

That scares me, frankly.

Basically, this was the Bulls saying what we already knew. Jay Williams will never play basketball at a high level again. He’s not Steve Austin. You can’t put six million dollars worth of electronics him and fix his broken pelvis, broken leg, torn up left knee and nerve damage and get him to jump over tall buildings and Lindsey Wagner.

The Bulls apparently made one last ditch effort at Dwyane Wade. They, unlike us, knew that the Heat were going to take Dwyane with the fifth pick, so they talked to the Raptors about trading Marcus Fizer, Donyell Marshall and the seventh pick for some flotsam and the fourth pick. Yeah…you can’t do that.

Because we’re Chicago, and because we have a history of ridiculing players and mocking them only to have them come to town–and then defending them at all costs–we have to throw ourselves in front of the Kirk Hinrich bandwagon. Wait, I meant on the bandwagon.

Let’s assume he can hold his own at both guard spots. We know he can shoot (something the 2002 Bulls just couldn’t do with any regularity), and any time Trenton Hassell’s not on the floor is a good thing.

The Bulls are also expected to make contract offers to Jawon Howard (who will sign) and Corey Maggette (who’d love to sign, but will likely be matched by the Clips.) Howard is a good player, a solid power forward who’s career has always been overshadowed by that ridiculous contract he got from the Bullets for more than $100 million. This, of course came after the Heat had signed him to an even more ridiculous contract only to have it revoked by the commissioner’s office. Jawon was being paid like a superstar, but he’s not a superstar. That doesn’t mean he’s not good.

Maggette would give the Bulls everything that Eddie Robinson was supposed to provide. He’s athletic, can knock down a jumper (on occasion) and he plays defense. What a unique concept!

The rest of the draft was of course an enjoyable mess. We covered it from pillar to post and managed more than 300 posts in four and a half hours. So go check it out.

By the way, the star of the night on ESPN (other than Carmelo Anthony’s hyperventilating mother) was Jay Bilas. We missed Ernie, Kenny and Charles, but Bilas was just great.

Mark Prior struck out 16 Brewers (which really, is kind of like shooting strikeouts in a barrell–or something) left it up to Regular Joe in the ninth and the Cubs lost…again…to the Brewers. Joe deserves a lot of blame for that meatball he threw to Geoff Jenkins in the ninth, but the Cubs got three runs off of Wayne Franklin? Wayne Franklin? Guh.

Groucho never felt Dywane was a good fit, and he likes the Bulls draft.

If the Bulls hadn’t drafted Robbie Knievel last year, they’d never have had to draft Opie Hinrich this time.

Rick Morrissey says the current Bulls were disappointed in the pick.

Brian Cook thinks he should have gone higher. Oh, boo hoo, you just earned a three-year guaranteed contract from the Lakers. Boo hoo. Shut up.

Dwyane Wade is ready to compete in Miami, but I agree with Groucho, I think Eddie Jones has a good chance of wearing #6 for the Bulls next season.

Rosey wields his axe.

You don’t want his arm falling off, but come on, the Cubs did the Brewers a favor when they pulled Prior.

Greg Couch says that Sammy is going to get booed this weekend. Gee, ya think?

Mariotti puts down the doughnut and is all over the place with this feeble effort today. Does anybody suck as regularly as Mariotti? Pathetic. He says Pat Riley made a “cunning move” in unexpectedly drafting Wade. What’s so cunning about losing a bunch of games and getting the fifth pick? Those Cavs must have been REALLY cunning.

Donna Shalala is pretending like Miami might not join the ACC after all. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

The Wizard of Roz wrote this yesterday, but it has a ridiculous comment in it, nonetheless. He calls Albert Pujols “humble.” Yeah, let’s watch Albert throw his bat in the air after his humble homers. Nobody calls Sammy humble, and for good reason, so let’s not toss that adjective at the 35 year old Pujols.

Sports Guy’s draft diary. For the third straight year, ours was funnier than his. Maybe he can join us next time. We could go four deep at smartass, couldn’t we?

The shaved possum hands out his draft grades. All you need to know is that he gave the Bulls a B-. Yes, he’s the dumbest person in the world.

A pretty solid effort from spanish-yes.com on the draft.

Kevin Costner’s getting married again. Big whup.

The EU is going to ban boobs in newspapers. I wish the Sun-Times would.

You’ve been warned, Newsfilter.org has Carnie Wilson’s Playboy shots. It’s not safe for work, and don’t look a these if you’ve just eaten. Thank god for airbrushing and boustiers, or we’d be knee deep in stretch marks.

A South African man says the three-year old he raped “asked for it.” Literally. Yikes.

Niedermeyer.
Dead.
Marmalard.
Dead.
Wormer.
Dead.
Strom Thurmond! It’s about time
.

America’s finest news source with some very handy dental tips.