June is nearly over and the Cubs find themselves in second place, just one game behind the constantly running-in-place Cardinals. The Cubs are, for the most part, injury free, getting good years out of a number of guys and yet, we’re all waiting for them to lose 30 out of the next 40 games and end up with a nice, juicy draft pick again.

What’s wrong with us?

Well, we’re Cubs fans.

The reality of the situation is that the Cubs are still pretty good. Despite four straight days of bullpen ineptitude, there’s no real reason to think a collapse of Titanic proportions is in the offing. Unfortunately, without an offensive upgrade, there’s little reason to expect much improvement is possible.

And so, we are faced with the conundrum that is the 2003 Cubs.

Sammy Sosa — Apparently the kiss-ass-Sammy-can-do-no-wrong line forms right behind me. Though, I don’t think that’s the case. I was irritated by a weekend full of Sammy trying to hit one off the Exelon sign, just like everybody else. But here’s what I see from Mr. Sosa. I see a guy who is “struggling” along with a .412 on base average, a .515 slugging average and is on pace to hit 30 homers and drive in 105 runs. He’s finally healthy, and he’s the only guy who can actually carry this team for more than a day at a time. If lovin’ Sammy is wrong, Barbara Mandrell and I don’t want to be right.

Kerry Wood — He’s always going to confound us, isn’t he? There will always be the odd start where the wheels completely fall off of him and he can’t throw a strike and he throws 110 pitches in five innings and makes us want to bang our heads on the table. But more and more, we’re getting out of Kerry what we got out of him yesterday at old-new Comiskey. He just wasn’t going to lose. If he had to stay out there all day and throw 240 pitches, Kerry was going to have to be dragged off the mound. His fastball was moving so much he couldn’t throw it for strikes so he broke out the slider and tortured the Sox with that instead. He’s 8-5 now and will duke it out with Mark Prior the next two weeks to try and make a case he should start the All-Star Game. As far as Kerry is concerned, next year is here.

Mark Prior — He exhausted himself in a 16-strikeout game and when the bullpen upchucked the lead in the ninth, he took it in stride. But you could tell from his tone in the post game press conference that what he wanted to say was, “Next time, I’ll strike out 12 and make sure I have enough gas in the tank to finish the damn game.” Dusty basically said that the reason he put Estes in between Wood and Prior was in order to prevent another back-to-back Estes-Clement collapse from killing the bullpen. One other cool coincidence is that if the rotation stays on it’s current schedule that Prior’s turn comes up on July 15. The night of the All-Star Game in Chicago. Hmmm.

Moises Alou — Moises has proven this year what we knew before we got him. He’s a clutch hitter and just really good at every aspect of the game. Last year his injuries and offseason sloth caught up with him. This year, he’s shown no signs of tailing off. Thanks to Tom Goodwin’s exploits in left field on Friday and Sunday we’ve also come to realize that Moises is a pretty good defensive outfielder, too. Who knew?

Corey Patterson — One thing the nosebleed seats at old-new Comiskey did was give me a great vantage point to watch Corey roam center field. I’ve seen Andruw Jones in person a few times and was immediately impressed with how effortless he makes it look. Corey’s not far behind. He takes good routes to flyballs and isn’t afraid to call Alou or Sosa off anything. Corey’s mindset is that if he can get to it, he might as well catch it. Offensively, he’s taken a quantum leap. His average is down to .301 right now, but he’s actually showing more patience at the plate. A prolonged hot streak from Sosa will only serve to help Corey that much more. The kid’s a star, and it’s funny that only three months removed from constant speculation about whether he’d be a bust or not, he’s a near-lock for the All-Star Game.

El Pulpo — I think he’s trying to kill us. After an impressive run through the Yankees, Orioles and Reds, Pulpo absolutely wilted in two series against the White Sox. His slider-of-death is death alright. More often that not, it’s death for the Cubs.

Joe Borowski — Regular Joe has been solid all year. He blew the Prior game, but bounced back on Sunday. What he’s proven is that if you throw strikes and aren’t afraid to throw any pitch in any situation you’ll be good. He’s also proven that being a closer isn’t rocket science. He also frees up Dusty to use his “best” relievers (Mike Remlinger and The Farns) to get big outs in the seventh and eighth. Joe’s proving the Red Sox theory…I’m just glad he’s proving it here.

Matt Clement — It really can’t be that easy, can it? If he throws his slider overhand he’s tough. If he drops his arm he gets rocked. I mean, come on. Baseball’s hard. You have to observe thousands of games to truly get it. You need to be some grizzled, hardened, old coot to know the nuances of the game. Right? Hell no. It really IS that easy. If Matt doesn’t drop his arm and try to “make” his slider break, he’s tougher than a two dollar steak. But when the arm slot drops, balls rain down on Waveland.

Shawn Estes — He made a big mistake. He could have gotten along fine if he’d just pitched .500 baseball and given the Cubs some innings. But Shawn screwed the pooch on Friday, June 20 when he got lit up in the first inning of the first Cubs-Sox game. Cubs fans have long memories, and Shawn’s not likely to be forgiven any time soon. Oops.

The Farns — Just the opposite. The day before Estes marked himself forever, The Farns did the same thing. Only his came in the form of a form-perfect body slam of Reds pitcher Paul Wilson. In one move of unbridaled aggression, he made it cool to like The Farns again. Plus, he’s having a great year. How many times do teams lose games in the seventh inning when they bring in some middling reliever to go through the heart of the order? It happens a lot. It doesn’t happen to the Cubs very often. The Farns is the main reason for that.

Mark Guthrie — Mark Guthrie means more to this pitching staff than you’ll ever know. Having a competent lefty set-up man allows Dusty to use Mike Remlinger the way he should be used. He uses him to get out the other teams’ best slugger in key situations before the ninth inning. Guthrie throws strikes and is tough on lefties, and that’s his job, in a nutshell.

Mike Remlinger — Even his weird little gray goatee seems cool when he’s getting guys out. He started slowly, but other than an uncharacteristically bad outing against the Brewers last week he’s been the exact guy the Cubs thought they were getting when they signed him in the offseason. Dusty still uses him against the better lefty sluggers in the game, but Remlinger can get anybody out. In fact with his changeup, he’s actually even tougher on righthanded hitters. Nothing wrong with that.

Carlos Zambrano — I have no idea if he’s really 22 or not. What I do know is there isn’t a young pitcher in the game I’d trade him for. My manly love for Carlos is well known in this space, but you can’t say that this year he’s earned it. The latest Mike Lowell rumors (at least the ones that aren’t saying he’s off the market now) all have Carlos in them. You can’t make that trade. As much as you want to win this year, there have to be better alternatives than doing anything to break up the Wood-Prior-Zambrano triumvirate that ought to rule the Central for the next half dozen years. I’m serious about this.

Juan Cruz — His presence on the roster puts pressure on Estes, and that’s a good thing. He re-established his credentials by going to AAA Iowa and lighting it up with a 1.66 ERA in four games with 20 strikeouts in 21 innings and only six walks. I still think he’s a better reliever at this stage than a starter…with the proviso that Dusty can’t leave him in the bullpen for a full week and then expect him to be sharp when he finally does use him. Todd Welleymeyer was fun, and looks like he’s going to be a good pitcher in this league, but for now, Cruz is the guy you have to have.

Damian Miller — He’s slowly bringing his average up (it’s at a whopping .225 right now) and his defense has been good. Given that it can’t be easy to catch Kerry Wood and Mark Prior and The Farns and Carlos Zambrano and some of the other live arms the Cubs throw out there, the occasional passed ball is going to happen. But the pitchers seem to like throwing to him and they don’t fear throwing that breaking pitch in the dirt with a runner on third with Damian back there. You can’t say the same about Todd Hundley or Joe Girardi.

Paul Bako — Can’t hit, shouldn’t be a major leaguer.

Hee Seop Choi — The Cubs really did miss Big Choi, even if Eric Karros did hit well while he was on the disabled list. There are times when the mere threat of his big lefty bat in the middle of that lineup is worth a lot, plus the fact that he knows what he’s doing when he’s swinging it. He was only 3-21 in his Iowa rehab, so don’t expect him to hop into the lineup and take off right away. If you’re wondering why he didn’t get called up in time for the White Sox series so the Cubs could DH either him or Karros and keep wonks like Goodwin or O’Leary out of the lineup, the 3-21 tells the tale.

Alex Gonzalez — Last time around I called him the biggest waste of talent in the big leagues. I still feel that way. Though, the fact that he’s played excellent defense this year probably means that he’s just “one of” the biggest wastes of talent. At least he’s doing it on defense. But, there are times when he teases you with his talent. Like in Friday’s Sox game. He homered in his first at bat and then grounded behind a runner in his second at bat to advance him. In his next three at bats he was asked to bunt each time. I wanted to throw things. One, he proved he could hit Danny Wright and two, he proved he could advance the runner without giving up an out by bunting. So maybe it’s not all on Alex.

Mark Grudzielanek — You can’t complain. He’s hitting .287 and his on base average is very un-Gruddy-like .350. He’s also doing a great job at second base. You can make a perfectly sound argument that if Jim Hendry had not traded for Gruddy and Karros that this team would be in fourth place right now. Sometimes the “little” trades mean everything. This one has.

Lenny Harris — Lenny is 18-100 this year. Eighteen for one-hundred! How is that even possible? This is a man who took fifteen years to get his 1,000th hit! That’s 75 hits a year for you math whizes. I was hoping that the trade for Jose Hernandez would convince Dusty to use Lenny one at bat at a time as a pinch hitter—a role he’s excelled at in the past. But he’s gotten TWO starts at third in the week since the trade. Please, shoot me dead.

Jose Hernandez — What would you call a guy who hits .360 with a .587 on-base average and a .900 slugging percentage? You’d call him Babe Ruth—or Jose Hernandez without the strikeouts. If you take away his 101 strikeouts in only 273 at bats, those are Jose’s numbers. Of course it’s ridiculous to get excited about any player’s stats without strikeouts, but these are far more extreme than the average player. Just imagine if he cut his strikeouts in half? Sigh. He’s 33, and he’s not going to learn any new tricks. But, his homer to right field yesterday was a start. Like Sammy, when Jose has his opposite field stroke going, he’s going to be tough to get out. When he’s trying to pull everything, you might as well hang the K at the beginning of the at bat. Regardless, he needs to be given a run at third every day for a week and see what happens.

Eric Karros — I’m not making this up: Karros has been taking infield at third base the last couple of weeks. Can you imagine this? At first base he looks like he’s standing still, can you imagine him at third? Yikes. Regardless of what happens to his playing time with Choi’s brain bruise healed, Karros has been a very pleasant surprise. Not only has he done a great job in limited time, but he’s handled it all with great poise. Given his career numbers, his .188 with runners in scoring position seems an abberration, so you can actually expect more from him in the second half. Really.

Ramon Martinez — Dusty knows Ramon better than anybody, and his unwillingness to just plug him at third base speaks volumes. But you can’t argue with what Dusty’s gotten from him. Ramon’s been great in action at every infield position and when he comes in as a defensive replacement, you breathe a sign of relief.

Tom Goodwin — There are two Catch-22’s with Tom. The first one is that when he plays you need him to hit, but when he hits it just encourages Dusty to play him some more. The other is what happens when you hit 100 flyballs at him. He’ll catch 22. He played three fly balls into singles in the Sox series last weekend and he got some big hits. One thing for sure, even at almost 35 years of age, he can flat out fly.

Troy O’Leary — He is what he is. He’s a decent bat off the bench and can play the corner infield spots and even first base in a pinch. He’s a fifth outfielder and nothing more. He got a lot of run when Sammy was out with the toe and the cork suspension and hopefully we won’t see much of him the rest of the way.

Bobby Hill — What was the point of his recent call-up? He pinch ran twice, pinch hit twice and played four innings of second base in a blow out. I got more action at my junior prom. It’s obvious that Jim Hendry still has plans for him…and that Dusty doesn’t.

Dave Kelton — On the other hand, Dusty likes Dave Kelton. You can tell Dusty doesn’t think he’s ready, but you can also tell Dusty’s excited about what happens when he is ready. In a perfect world he makes the team next year and gets some time in the outfield and at first and in 2005 he takes over full-time in left. But when has the world ever been perfect?

Dusty Baker — There are times when his lineups and strategy make you scratch your head. But it’s my assertion that he does that far less often than most managers. You can’t argue with the fact that this team is overachieving. They play harder and smarter than any Cubs team we’ve seen in a long time. They have holes and he does his best to spackle them, but the holes are still there. If nothing else, he’s the funniest Cubs manager in a long time. That’s got to be worth something.

Jim Hendry — We’ll be able to rip Jim on August 1, but not before that. To his chagrin, the market for Mike Lowell has gotten out of hand, and the suddenly popular Lowell may be untradeable, if such a thing exists in Florida. What we do know is that he’ll do something. Whether it’s a move for a spare part like Tony Batista or a bold move for a longer term answer to the third base problem like Adrian Beltre or Brandon Larson, we know he’ll do something. It’s tough to be him right now and to want to make a trade so badly, only to have a bunch of potential trade partners who want to wait and see. But rest assured, July won’t come and go without at least one noisy trade on the north side.

Chip Caray — I think that the terror alert sums up pretty well what kind of horror Chip has put us through this season. It’s almost as if the Sox series in old-new Comiskey was designed to remind us that after three days of Hawk and DJ that it could be worse. At the current point, I’m infatuated with the idea that Chip uses that “phony deejay” voice of his all the time. Even when he’s ordering room service or ordering tickets to go see N*Sync.

Steve Stone — The fact that he will rip the Cubs when needed has endeared him to me forever. But I think the schtick that flies off of Chip contantly is getting to Steve. I don’t like what Chip is doing to him.

Pat Huges and Ron Santo — Santo, is at times, hilarious. Whether he does it on purpose or not, Ron can just say things that make milk come out of your nose (even if you’re not drinking milk). They get obsessed with the attendance game–sometimes to distraction–and there are times when every pitcher scouting from report from Ron sounds exactly the same as the one before it, but of all the announcers in this town for any sport, nobody’s as consistently entertaining as Pat and Ron.