Sometime today, Kenny Williams picked up the phone, used his phony white-man voice (from the Eddie Murphy SNL sketch) and offered Royce Ring, Edwin Almonte and Some guy named Salvo to the Mets for future Hall of Famer Roberto Alomar.
On the other end of the phone Jim Duquette said, “That’s not enough Kenny. Three guys for Alomar? How about we pay the rest of his salary, too?”
And so, like that, the Sox have the best second baseman to come to Chicago since Dallas Green pantsed the Phillies out of some hack named Ryne Sandberg in 1982.
But, you ask, “Andy, does Roberto Alomar have anything left?”
Here’s a guy who for his career has averaged a .302 batting average, 15 HR, 78 RBI, 34 stolen bases and an .820 OPS (nerdy saber stat). He is really a future Hall of Famer. He’s played on some great teams in Toronto, Baltimore and Cleveland. He’s come up big in big games. He’s also hocked a loogie in the face of an umpire and for the last year and a half he’s phoned it in every night.
The Cubs fan in me loves Alomar because his lack of effort absolutely sabotaged what looked like a lopsided trade in favor of the Mets. And now, he gets to do it to the Sox. What a country!
You couldn’t even see his demise coming. In 2001 with Cleveland he hit .336 and drove in 100 runs. He was a stud.
Then, he got traded to the Mets and last year posted underwhelming totals of .266, 11 HR and 53 RBI. He bitched about the Shea infield. He bitched about everything. The Mets sucked.
This year he came to camp resolved to be a different player, and he was. He was even worse. He’s hitting .262 with two homers and 22 RBI. He’s hitting under .180 from the right side of the plate.
The reality is that he’s 35 years old (at least) and like catchers, middle infielders just kind of hit the wall and it’s over.
For the Sox this is a no-brainer trade. If he pulls a Will Clark-in-St. Louis and gets rejuventated for three months, all you gave up was a minor league closer, a hard throwing dud and a class A player who can’t hit. Plus, the Mets are paying the freight.
What it really shows you though, is that the Mets couldn’t get anybody to give them any value for Alomar.
A sad testament to a guy who used to be a great player.
Indubitably, this trade was a heist. If you need me I’ll be in the back room patting myself on the back and drinking couvosier.
Does Sandy Alomar have any other brothers I could trade for?
I’ve just offered Bruce Kimm and Don Cooper Ford Lincoln Mercury to the Rockies for first base coach Sandy Alomar, Sr.
After that I’ve deals in the work for Roberto Duran, Sandy Duncan and Junior Johnson.
Kenny, you know I was available. I could have played second.
Hey Mullet (Sox Fan), you should have paid a little more attention in school this morning. It’s probably hard to concentrate with all the other kids in your class asking why you are so old and still in Fourth Grade. Anyway, back to the point, "your" is possessive. As in, "Is that YOUR primer-gray Trans Am?" "You’re" is a contraction. As in, "YOU’RE a complete moron!"
And one more thing…How does a fan get relegated to AAA? What can we get for Alfatsucky and some fans?
you think your so funny you stupid cubs fan. lets see how funny it it when we win the division and you get relegated to triple a. dork.
It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what one does not believe. by texas holdem