Because really, you can’t get enough Tom Goodwin

Jul 7, 2003 | Andy | 17 comments

ESPN.com is reporting that Corey Patterson will miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL. Ironically, the report doesn’t say which knee he hurt. Kind of makes you wonder if ESPN owns a copy of Gray’s Anatomy.

The loss of Patterson, the only consistent offensive threat on the team dooms the team to another sub-.500 finish, which really, times out quite nicely with the start of Bears training camp.

Tom Goodwin will take over for Corey in centerfield. Hopefully, the ground will open up and swallow him whole sometime during the early innings of tonight’s game with the Florida Marlins.

In a related development, Shaumburg Flyers’ outfielder Brant Brown’s cell phone just rang.

If you need me, don’t bother.

Just send flowers.

17 Comments

  2. Trenidad Hubbard
    Trenidad Hubbard on July 7, 2003 at 4:08 pm

    Easy there, Brant. I saw what you’re hitting in Shaumburg.
    http://www.northernleague.com/stat-schaumburg.asp

    .228? You can’t hold my jock. Besides, I’M A AAA ALL-STAR! For like the ninth straight year.

    Fear not Cubs fans, for I shall lead us to the NL Central crown!

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

  3. Stephen McCrosky
    Stephen McCrosky on July 7, 2003 at 4:12 pm

    Get me Rex Kramer!

  4. Rex Kramer
    Rex Kramer on July 7, 2003 at 4:17 pm

    Lonliness, thats the bottom line. I was never happy as a child . . . Christmas Ted, what does that mean
    to you? It was living hell. Do you know what its like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head with an iron boot?

    Of course you don’t, no one does, that never happens. Sorry Ted, that’s a dumb question.

  5. Mighty Casey
    Mighty Casey on July 7, 2003 at 4:19 pm

    So is it better to slit across your wrists or slit the length of the vein?

  6. Jose Hernandez
    Jose Hernandez on July 7, 2003 at 4:19 pm

    Wait a minute! I played some centerfield for the Cubs in 1998 when Lance was under the weather and Brant couldn’t hack it and Riggleman decided that Blauser was a better bet at short.

    I could spell patterson in center. Well, I don’t know if I could spell him. But I could strike out just as well as Goodwin

  7. Captain Oveur
    Captain Oveur on July 7, 2003 at 4:21 pm

    Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? Listen

  8. Ted Striker
    Ted Striker on July 7, 2003 at 4:23 pm

    Surely this is the end of the Cubs season!

    The Cubs offense is sluggish, like a wet sponge.

    Its a damn good thing Goodwin doesn’t know how much I hate his guts.

  9. Dusty was right
    Dusty was right on July 7, 2003 at 4:30 pm

    Listen

  10. June Cleaver
    June Cleaver on July 7, 2003 at 4:32 pm

    Why, I understand Dusty quite perfectly.

    Listen

  11. Dr. Rumack
    Dr. Rumack on July 7, 2003 at 4:37 pm

    You’d better tell Dusty we’ve got to get Corey to the hospital. . .

    Elaine : A hospital . . what is it?

    Its a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now. Tell Dusty I must speak to him.

  12. Darryl Kile
    Darryl Kile on July 7, 2003 at 5:00 pm

    Cheer up Cubs fans. I’m still dead.

  13. Dusty Baker
    Dusty Baker on July 7, 2003 at 5:03 pm

    My dream line up:

    CF: Tom Goodwin
    2B: Lenny Harris
    RF: Troy O’Leary
    LF: Trenidad Hubbard
    1B: Lenny Harris
    SS: Ramon Martinez
    3B: Lenny Harris
    C: Paul Bako
    P: Russ Ortiz!

  14. Tony LaRussa
    Tony LaRussa on July 7, 2003 at 5:16 pm

    Cheer up, Cubs fans. I’m pinning my hopes for a division title on my boy Albert hitting .376 the rest of the way, Jason Isringhausen and Rick Ankiel.

  15. Dusty Baker
    Dusty Baker on July 8, 2003 at 11:45 am

    About that lineup, I’m thinking Bako might not handle the heat too well, what with all that protective gear and pale skin.

  16. George Mitterwald
    George Mitterwald on July 8, 2003 at 11:53 am

    That’s why Tim Hosley got all that playing time back in the mid-’70s. Swisher and I were both better.

  17. texas holdem
    texas holdem on February 7, 2005 at 10:53 am

    There is no man so good, who, were he to submit all his thoughts and actions to the laws, would not deserve hanging ten times in his life. by texas holdem