John Rocker’s favorite ex-Braves teammate, current Pirates first baseman Randall Simon, pulled an absolutely Rocker-esque move last night, when he whacked the Italian Sausage in the head during the Clement’s Sausage Race at the end of the sixth inning at Miller Park.
Thanks to the good folks at Milwaukee’s WTMJ we have the Zapruder Film to prove it.
If this isn’t the funniest thing you’ve ever seen, I’m not sure what is.
I love the three different angles they have of the race, too. Really, though, you have to hand it to both the Italian Sausage and the Hot Dog. They got knocked down, yet got back up (with the Hot Dog showing incredible sportsmanship) and finished the race.
By the way, becasue you want to know…the Brat won the race.
Drew Olson has the details in this article in today’s Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. There are a couple of quotes in this article that are doozies.
“This is one of the most outrageous things I’ve ever seen inside a ballpark or outside a ballpark,” said Rick Schlesinger, Brewers executive vice president of business operations.
“It sickened me to see it.”
And he was merely commenting on the retro ’70s all yellow uniforms that the Pirates were wearing.
Super Team member Ryan Borghoff, 16, raced wearing the bratwurst costume.
“The whole thing is unbelievable,” said Borghoff, who recently finished his sophomore year at Waukesha West High School.
“I didn’t really know what happened. We were doing . . . a race where one person takes the lead and then another person passes him. It was my turn to lead, so I ran out front. I didn’t really know what was going on. All of a sudden, I was by myself.
“He didn’t hit her on the head,” Borghoff said, referring to Mandy. “He just hit the costume and she fell over. These things are so top-heavy that it doesn’t take much.”
Borghoff went on to win the race. “Somebody had to, I guess,” he said.
Wait, what was that one paragraph?
“I didn’t really know what happened. We were doing . . . a race where one person takes the lead and then another person passes him. It was my turn to lead, so I ran out front. I didn’t really know what was going on. All of a sudden, I was by myself.”
That’s what I thought he said. You mean to tell me that the Sausage Races are choreographed? Is nothing sacred?
Meanwhile, the Cubs won their first series since the halcyon Dave Kelton days of late June when they won two of three from the Orioles. Oh, those were the days, huh?
Dusty wants the Cubs to go get Kenny Lofton. This pains me. Didn’t we prove yesterday that Kenny and Tom Goodwin are the same old, bad guy?
Meanwhile, Johnny Damon has friends telling him he’d look good in Cubbie Blue.
The Mets would be happy to deal Armando Benitez to the Fish, but it’ll take a former first rounder to get him. How about Ricky Williams?
Tom Glavine says the reason he can’t win at home is because of QuesTech. Nonsense, Tom, it’s because you suck.
The Rangers are still trying to pawn Juan Gonzalez off on somebody.
The Indians wanted a Mench…hey, there’s always Mel Brooks.
Jordan will come back in 2004. Brian, not Michael. Although…
Some of the Marlins were miffed that Dusty Baker took Kerry Wood for the All-Star team over Dontrelle Willis. Willis pitched well on Tuesday, but Kerry shut everybody up yesterday.
Sammy has made some nice catches lately. He says he’s trying to win a gold glove. Then he laughed. Uh, why not actually try to win a gold glove?
Even with Robbie Alomar (.240 since becoming a Sock) and Carl Everett (.273 since the trade and playing defense like he’s sitting in a lawn chair in CF), the Sox aren’t good. What a shock this is.
Gee, you mean all of those Sox fans couldn’t get Frank Thomas voted into the All-Star game on his second chance? Maybe the big storms this week caused the dial-up connections in the trailer parks to short out. When you see Geoff Jenkins win the vote in the NL, you just know that Corey Patterson was a shoo-in, don’t you?
Ira Newble wants to be a Bull, and the Bulls want him. But Ira, here’s the thing. The Bulls want to sign the second greatest player in their history for a farewell tour. So while you’ll be the starter at small forward and he’ll be your backup, um….he’s gonna make four times what you make. OK? Good. Now where’d we put that pen?
The ACC wants the Irish. They’re not going to get them.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut and apparently just found the All-Star Game rosters.
If you’re ever going to knock around Mike Hampton and Greg Maddux it’s now.
Doug Padilla might want to get the retraction ready. He says that Mark Buehrle refered to the Cardinals as “we” on a St. Louis radio station yesterday. Unfortunately, the Score actually got the tape of the interview and it’s obvious that Mark meant the Sox when he said “we.” Oops. Buehrle did go on to ask the DJ’s for Flynn Kile’s phone number, though. OK, not really.
Am I the only one who thinks that Kobe’s number next year might have more than one eight in it? Like “inmate number EJ20884028”?
The Wizard of Roz with a good one on Vince Lloyd. When I was a kid, I spent many an afternoon with Vince Lloyd and Lou Boudreau and some very lousy Cubs teams. Really, other than the names, nothing’s changed.
Flannel Boy (he changed shirts, but he’ll always be Flannel Boy to us) ponders why the Twins suck.
The NY Post says Jason Kidd won’t come back to the Nets if Byron Scott isn’t fired. How nice. Who does he want to be the new coach, TJ or Joumana? If was Byron, I’d say the only way Jason can come back is if he and his wife finally hire a freakin’ babysitter.
Marty Burns’ mullet is gone, but what’s left of him says that the Lakers should be good next year. Gee, ya think?
Ted Casablanca on pre-nups and on Gwyneth’s engagement…or is there an engagement?
A Harry Potter fan burned her house down trying to make one of his potions. Did I mention that the fan is TWENTY-ONE years old?
Saddam’s diary has been found and among the revelations are that he had a crush on David Cassidy, that he wanted Chemical Ali to call a girl and ask the girl if she liked Saddam, and it has in there that Saddam really, really likes chocolate chip cookies. Good stuff.
I want to golf in Caledonia, Wisconsin.
America’s finest news source asks some men on the street if the economy is turning around.
You noticed Randall Simon didn’t try to "Gillooley" me. I would have pounded his sausage-hatin’ ass!
Let me point out to you that it would take a much better hitter than Randall Simon to knock an Oscar Mayer Weiner out of a sausage race.
You notice he didn’t hit me. But then, I’m a lefty. We all know Randall Simon can’t hit lefties.
As if you needed another reason to stay away from Miller Park… it is a sausage fest!
Does anyone else appreciate the irony of a woman in a sausage suit?
Who didn’t have a crush on David Cassidy?
well, i think i love you–Saddam–, so what am i so afraid of?
im afraid that im not sure of
a love there is no cure for.
well i think i love you – isnt that what life was made of?
though it worries me to say, i’ve never felt this way…
Hey Kielbasa! Want to see me in a sausage suit?
If the lady inside the Italian Sausage costume was really fit for the job, she would have playfully fought back against Randall Simon. Maybe forcing him to finish the race with the sausages and brats.
If anything, it shouldn’t be Randall Simon who is in trouble, it should be the Italian Sausage for being such a weinie.
I hope my Kenny gets traded to the Cubs today! I’m pretty too!
Besides, we’ve only been out of Chicago for 11 months, I’ll bet I can get my streetcorner back!
Boo-yah!
In regards to Mr. Dolan’s accusation that the sausage races are "choreographed" all I can say is that that is particularly untrue. The sausage race is in fact sanctioned by the Wisconsin State Gaming commission and any attempt to fix a … excuse me, I’ve got to go get my script for today…I think it’s my turn to win!
How a REAL mascot reacts.
http://www.famouschicken.com/images/scrapbook/flyingkick.jpg
Weenie Wacker!
Is there any chance we can do better than Shawn Estes? He is absolutely painful to watch.
I could start and just get the agony over with!
I’ll start, and I can outhit a pitcher or two to boot!
Did anyone see that chick that was in the sausage suit on SportsCenter?
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