Wait. What did you just say?
Who traded two number ones and their mediocre QB for Jay Cutler?
No, that’s funny, I thought you said the Bears did.
Huh? No, that can’t be right. The Bears haven’t had a real quarterback for 20 years. And even he was made out of papier mache and had to be glued back together about once a month.
They haven’t had an adequately sized, talented quarterback for almost 60 years.
Yeah, 60. Sid Luckman retired in 1950.
So the news that the Bears just traded for a 25 year old Pro Bowl QB who threw for 4500 yards and 25 touchdowns last year is a little disorienting.
Finally, the Bears obsession with dopes from Vanderbilt is going to pay off.
So let’s look at the trade.
The Bears send this year’s number one pick (18 overall) and next year’s number one pick (likely 32–you know the one that Super Bowl champs get), a third round pick this year, and the neckbearded wonder, Kyle Orton, to Denver for Cutler and a fifth round pick.
Given the Bears ability to draft in the first round lately (lately being since Jim Finks died), the loss of the two number ones doesn’t hurt them as much as teams who are good at it. I know it’s faulty logic, but hang with me. The third rounder was likely to end up being better.
Say the Bears go 11-5 next year (which, even with a real QB is a stretch given the horrendously awful receiving corps he’s got to work with), next year’s pick is in the 20s someplace.
But let’s look at it less analytically. What does this mean for the Bears? It means they have a real quarterback for the first time since…nearly forever. QBs are the hardest thing to find in the NFL. Teams don’t stay good without one. Oh, sure every once and a while a team wins a Super Bowl without one, but the truly good teams, the ones who contend for several years all have one. Add the Bears to that list.
But they have to do something at wide receiver. The Bears current offensive strategy of sending Devin Hester as far down the field as he can run and then dumping a four yard pass off to Greg Olsen won’t work any better with Cutler than it did with Orton.
My first instinct was to remember all the times Hester got deep and Orton underthrew him only to have to settle for pass interference at best. Now those balls will make it all the way to Hester.
Which doesn’t mean Devin will actually catch them, of course.
The Bears sniffing around future Hall of Fame tackle Orlando Pace this week gave me some hope. They were pretty much set on drafting an offensive lineman in the first round with that 18th pick, but if they signed Pace they could do something else. This is something else.
The Bears should be able to piece together a solid line, and they’ve got a good running back and two good tight ends. Plus, they have one threat at wide receiver (not Earl Bennett). So they might only be one wide receiver away from a real, live, offense.
Dare to dream.
Anyway, for having the balls to do this, you have to ready a shirtless hug for Jerry Angelo. In his postmortem on the season he said that the Bears had “to get the quarterback position right.”
Looks like he meant it.
(Now, if the Bears can keep the diabetic Cutler off the sauce it’ll be all the better.)
According to the dopes on ESPN 1000, I signed with the Bears today.
What a photo, he looks like one of those kids with the old people disease
Only took 5 decades. Even a blind squirrel…
This reunites me with with my compadre from Vandy. I might get an opportunity to catch a pass this year!
And I will block. Yay! 3/11th of the Offense is from Vandy
Now all we need is some talent around me. And a chiropractor FOR me…
Decent offensive line, good RB, good tight end, no wide outs..cry baby, fat faced, diabetic punk for a QB….recipe for dissaster…..
Well played Greg Oden’s Raven. I too wish that the Bears still had a decent offensive line, good RB, good tight end, no wide outs..neckbearded, statue-like quarterback with an erratic arm. Now that was the recipe for success. How could you mess with that?
Williams blocked for Cutler and Bennett was his receiver at Vandy. Pace will step it up now that he’s not playing for the Rams and he’ll bring a veteran presence. Two great moves.
Super Bowl
Sign me and you’ll be in the Bowl.
We’re in the bowl daily. Sometimes more than that if you’ve eaten Mexican.
Yeah that makes so much sense Greg Oden’s Raven. I should take my pro bowl having 4500 yard throwing and 25 Tuddy’s completed back with me and you can keep Orton or Rex since that really worked for you!
You are a douche and should be put in a gas chamber with all of us to watch and clap!!
60 years…what about Ruddy Buckets?
One defensive linemans low tackle from having Rex in the line up once again…..Don’t get me wrong I hope he does well….but I just think his 25 Tuddy’s, as that other ass hat said earlier, and his 18 int’s seem to have something to do with a team with wide receivers….not so sure the Bears have any. Hester will frustrate Cutler with his odd ball route running and no one else other than the tight end and half back can catch the ball….wtf does 4500 yards have to do with anything…nothing that’s what.
Greg Oden’s Raven: I do take into consideration the 18 int’s he had last season. And I also am not denying the fact that we have a receiving corps made up of…well…corpses…
But knowing that we do have a franchise QB, picking up good WR in free agency or through trades is more feasable than getting a QB of Cutty’s caliber.
Did he act like a crybaby? Yes, but he is indeed 25 years young. He still has some growing up to do but the kid can play and will only get better.
We gave up Neckbeard and 2 first rounders which we all know Angelo can’t do anything with if it’s dropped on his chin!
So cheers douche bag! Today is a good day. Don’t need to get all negative about it! Even Rosendouche couldn’t find anything bad to say about it in the Trib this morning.
And 4500 yards is evidence of a QB that has the brass and arm to make the plays no Chi QB has done in decades. His records coming in would (not sure but I do believe) shatters any QB of the Bears in the history of the franchise.
I think its time to unleash the Mike Hass era.
How could they just give away my number like that?
Did you say “dope from Vanderbilt”?
Don’t know why, but throw out “Johnathan Ogden’s Grocery List”‘ or whatever the fuck’s contributions, and these are the funniest comments at this place in years. Cheers, you anonymous assholes. Is KD back?
Also, I’m watching a “rerun” of “Monsters in the Morning” though it’s 11:30 PM, and I’ve never seen it before. It is so fucking awful I want to kill myself Who the hell’s hooking North up with heroin?
Last night I watched parts of an NFL Network replay of the week two Chargers-Broncos game (the Hochuli game), and Cutler threw for 220 yards and three touchdowns in the first half.
I will not believe this trade actually happened until training camp opens. Good god, how can any Bears fan not love this?