It wasn’t just another sweaty night in Missouri last night. Try as they might to downplay the importance of striking the first blow in this ten day bonanza of games against the arch rival (or is that Arch rival?) Cardinals, the Cubs needed to come out and throw a haymaker. As Nuke Laloosh once put it so eloquently, “I want to announce my presence with authority.”
The announcement came by the way of eight stifling innings from The Franchise and a three run bomb in the third by Randall Simon.
The Cardinals are counting on the Cubs doing what the Cubs always do. But this year the flop’s not happening.
In a Maddux-ian performance, Prior kept the fat part of the ball off of the fat part of the Cardinals bats and sawed through a lineup that included Miguel Cairo at shortstop (hee hee) and Kerry Robinson leading off.
Kerry would say after the game that Prior didn’t have anything. That might have been why Kerry didn’t get a hit off of him, Prior only gave up one run in eight innings and retired 14 of the last 15 Cardinals he faced. Given that Dusty Baker is in the process of shuffling the Cubs rotation around to give Prior an extra day off and set him up to face the Cardinals on Monday, Kerry better hope Mark doesn’t find his A-game by then.
This one was over when the most unlikely of events occurred. A leadoff single by Paul Bako in the third. Kenny Lofton drove him in, then Simon hit the three run bomb and then E-ramis followed suit with yet another homer on the very next pitch. E-ramis is good, folks. Better get used to it.
Tonight becomes the key game in the series. The Cubs SHOULD have won last night. Prior versus Garrett Stephenson is not a matchup you can afford to lose. The Cardinals probably SHOULD win tonight, given that their best pitcher is on the mound. However, this is where the Cubs main strength rears its mighty head. If Kerry Wood is on, the Cardinals can’t beat him. Nobody can. Likewise, if Carlos Zambrano is on Thursday night the same holds true. No team in the league has three guys like that. Not the Cardinals, not the Giants, not the Braves.
Dusty needs to give Kerry a variation on the Herb Brooks speech to his guys before the Miracle On Ice game in 1980. He needs to pull Kerry aside and say, “You were born to pitch. You were meant to be here. It’s your time.”
Given his recent struggles and the fact that he’s the proper mixture of talented, stubborn and strong, I don’t envy the Cardinals tonight.
I think a second message will be sent.
I think we’ll like what it says.
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Rick Morrissey on last night’s game, although half way through he has a stroke and thinks the Cubs played Houston. Check this out.
The guys have been swinging the bats,” Prior said afterward. “I’ve been the lucky beneficiary.”
Right. The Astros managed three hits and one run off Prior in eight innings, and you almost had to stop yourself from shrugging. When the bullpen struggled in the ninth and Kenny Lofton dropped an easy fly ball, you shrugged involuntarily. The Prior Effect goes only so far.”
Huh?
Prior wasn’t trying to send a message, he was just proving his point.
Before Kerry Wood worries about where he’ll pitch in 2005, I want him worried about how he’ll pitch in 2003.
Boston still loves Dick Jauron. They ought to the way the Bears coughed that game up to the Patriots last year.
Rosey has his moments.
The osprey killer has pled his way out.
The Sox had a big game, too.
Mariotti put down the doughnut to say that the Cardinals aren’t so tough.
Dusty’s not buying any of The Genius’ act.
If the Bears cut Justin Gage and keep the myth that continues to be Ahmad Merritt they all deserve to get fired. How much freakin’ milage is Merritt going to get out of one reverse play against the Eagles in the playoffs?
The Wizard of Roz doesn’t think either the Cubs or Sox can blow this.
You’ve got to admire their team spirit.
Jim Hendry must have nude photos of Dave Littlefield. The Pirates traded Brian Giles just in time for the Padres to face the Astros six times. Not only that but the Cubs and Pirates play each other seven times and the Pirates don’t have any games left with Houston or St. Louis. Muahahahahahahaha!
Jayson Stark points out that the 2003 Cubs will not only shatter the 2002 Cubs’ record for strikeouts (by pitchers–you know–the good ones), but will become the first National League team, and only the second team ever, to collect more strikeouts than hits allowed.
This is hilarious, the Cardinals actually think that starting Sterling Hitchcock is the answer. What’s the question?
Intrepid reader David Bohnenkamp relates this hilarious story about how Edgar Renteria got hurt in the shower and Jim Edmonds had to help carry him to the trainer’s room. The Cardinals are calling it a back spasm, but Kobe Bryant calls it a “weekend in Vail.”
Mary Kate and Ashley may have left the Notre Dame football program, but at least they were nice enough to leave behind a few cases of their new toothpaste.
An Aussy got a very nice picture of Mars. Big whup.
John Hinckley says that he’s ready to be released from prison. Besides, he pointed out, it’s not like Ronald Reagan even remembers he shot him.
An Ohio mom wanted to take her son and his friends to a go-kart park for his birthday, but the park had rented all the go karts so she did the next best thing. She got a hotel room, some booze and gave them lap dances! Uh….happy…birthday?
Oh, OK, see, Kobe just needed help with the hot tub.
A nine-year old New Jersey girl really sucks at driving.
If you think your dog needs sunglasses you are a world class dope.
Barry Manilow has had a lot of work done. He needs some more.
America’s finest news source with a story about how federal budget cuts have thwarted an evil scientist’s sinister plans.
Seriously. I am not making this up. Last night, I sat by Andy MacPhail at a minor league baseball game in Cedar Rapids, IA. He is in town to watch the Lugnuts and I spotted him sitting by himself in the box seats, so I just went down and introduced myself. I had my Walkman with me and filled him in on the last two innings of the Cardinals-Cubs game. He chuckled when I told him The Farns’ pants are too tight (it was 2-for-1 Beer Night, which translated into 6-for-3). We actually had a friendly discussion and I was able to hide my past hatred for him. Tonight, I may ask him if he knows anything of Edmonds’ shower assault of Renteria.
I was sitting 2 rows away from Jim Hendry at a Oklahoma Redhawks vs. Iowa Cubs game here in Oklahoma City. I asked for his autograph and talk to him for a few minutes. He was a real nice guy. I think thats a good idea to ask him about the shower incident. Has anyone noticed the Cards pitching coach looks exactly like Renteria except for he’s white?
Dateline – St. Louis.
Cardinals All-Star outfielder Jim Edmonds has come under suspicion for sexual assault, according to the St. Louis District Attorney’s office, as a result of an incident that was reported over the weekend. The alleged victim (Shield laws prevent releasing of the victim’s name) was found in a disheveled state according to Cardinals trainer Barry Weinberg, “He was on his knees in the shower with a condom sticking out of his ass.†The alleged victim is purported to be an employee of the Cardinals organization.
DNA tests are being conducted to determine if the prophylactic can be linked to
Jim Edmonds. But, while the tests are pending, fellow teammates, fans, and other members of the Cardinals organization rallied around Edmonds.
Tony LaRussa stated “I’m more of an Albert Pujols kind of guy when it comes to expressing my manly feelings. But, Jim is a good looking guy. I can see that.â€
Before the game Tuesday night, Miguel Cairo told reporters, “Hey, if it gives me the chance to start a few games, I don’t have any problem with it.â€
After the game Kerry Robinson commented, “You know, Jim’s just not that kind of a guy. To forcefully overtake a guy that size, I don’t believe it. Jim’s just not that dominating. He’s never dominated me. We’ve horsed around a few times, where he pitches and I catch, but he’s never dominated me.â€
The average Cardinal fan on the street tends to question the motives of the victim. “I’m trying to understand what the guy was doing with him in the shower. I mean, you get in the shower with a guy like Jim Edmonds, you know what he wants, right? Unless you’re some kind of moran.â€
The DA handling the case refuses to engage in speculation and is waiting on the DNA results to announce whether charges will be filed. Although he did indicate that the alleged victim wasn’t being entirely cooperative with the investigators.
In other news, Edgar Rentaria is still day to day with what the team is calling “back spasmsâ€. "It was a little tight, but I should be all right," Renteria said before Tuesday’s game. Rentaria was not talkative, however, about the much larger diamond earring he is now sporting.
The Poo-holes is back!
Brilliant commentary, news. There have been funny posts before but this is the first time the discussion was actually funnier than the dose. You should identify yourself for the masses.
Just in case no one heard me for the last three weeks, I thought I’d share it with the dedicated Desipio readers. The first team to put together a string of five or six wins will win this division. Did you hear me? The first team to put together a string of five or six wins will win this division. I said, the first team…ah screw it. Listen to Ron and Pat instead…
Am I pitching tonight?
did you know the Cubs are 11-40 at Busch since 1996? The Cards are 40-11 against the Cubs since The Genius arrived. I’m repeating myself. I’m repeating myself. I have nothing else to talk about. I have nothing else to say. Say? Say, did you know the Cubs winning percentage at Busch since 1996 is .197?
Have you visited my website, alhrabosky.com? did you know my initials are AH? You can call me Big AH.
Hey, I just thought of something. I could heckle the Lansing radio broadcaster this evening. Then again, maybe he is going to stay in his hotel with a block of wood and re-create the game off the internet.
Wait, you mean that news report isn’t real? Fooled me.
Very funny stuff.
As for heckling the Lansing radio guy, that’s not even an option. That has to be done. A tasteful "Jim Tocco Sucks" banner is subtle yet effective.
As for what he’s "recreating" in his hotel room these days, I think he’s given up the game recreations and gone on to "date recreations."
But, what do I know, I haven’t seen Felix Pie play 100 times.
I wonder if Jim Tocco hosts a call-in radio show…..
Now that would be fun.
Of course, we’d have to be able to get through. I bet call volume is at least half of what WKRP experienced when they hosted the Sparky Anderson Show
Immortality. I notice that as soon as writers broach this question they begin to quote. I hate quotation. Tell me what you know. by online poker