Sometime last night, on a flight from Chicago to San Juan, Puerto Rico, the Cubs officially got word that they were all alone in first place in the NL Central. Seven days removed from an eight game stretch that would make them or break them, the Cubs have been made.

In seven days they won seven games, embarrassed The Genius and made a Brewers manager make them his pennant pick.

Best of all, those tail lights they’re seeing in Houston and St. Louis? Those are the Cubs’.

They’ve done it the way we knew they always would have to. They’ve become the anti-Cubs.

When have we ever seen a Cubs team that loves to smoke fastballs under your chin (or in your ribcage) and then perches itself on the top step of the dugout to see if you want to do something about it?

When have we ever seen a Cubs team that is willing to barrel roll your shortstop at second base if they think you’re getting a little too frisky?

But more importantly, when have we ever seen a Cubs team that pitches well, catches the baseball when it’s hit at them and (gasp!) gets big hits when it needs them?

They were the same, old, Cubs a week ago Sunday. They had just dumped two of three to the Brewers and been shut out by the Cooperstown combo of Doug Davis and Danny Kolb. The Bears were dominating the TV and the radio again. After all, it was almost September.

But a funny thing happened on Labor Day. Trailing in the NL Central by two and a half games, the Cubs hopped on the back of The Franchise and won a huge game. The next day, they rode the extra inning heroics of Sammy Sosa. That night, they lost, but in untypical Cubs fashion they went down fighting. They fought the Cardinals, the umpires and anybody else who wanted to beef with them.

And then, on Wednesday, they did the unthinkable. Down 6-0 to the Evil Satanic Fowl, they roared back to win. It’s a game that 21 days from now…hell, 21 years from now…we’ll look back on as the day the 2003 Cubs figured it all out. Every championship team has that one win that makes believers out of themselves and everybody else. September 3, 2003…a day that will live in infamy.

Sure, they could still blow it. Hell, third place isn’t that far away. But that’s not the point. The point is that they won’t blow it. It’s just something we’re going to have to accept. Houston and St. Louis had their chances. The Cubs gave them each 143 games to assert their dominance. It’s too late now. We like it in first place. The view is pretty nice from here. They can’t have it back.

—
Meanwhile, in San Francisco, the Bears were really inspiring the fan base with a great all-out effort against the San Francisco 49ers. They gave up 49 points to the Forty-Niners? Too bad we weren’t playing the Sixers.

Is it a bad sign when the Bears play two running backs and neither of them can pick up a blitz?

It’s no wonder the Bears signed the only quarterback in the world impervious to injury, Kordell Stewart, they plan on proving that no one is invincible. My disks herniated just watching him get thrown around.

Dez White likes the new offense where the quarterback doesn’t have time to actually throw him droppable passes.

Apparently, sometimes, special teams aren’t so special.

On the Score today somebody called in to rip Brad Maynard for laughing after his punt was blocked. Methinks some people don’t have enough to worry about.

I think Brad was laughing to keep from crying.

I have one Bear on my fantasy team, tight end Desmond Clark. So the day wasn’t a complete disaster.

Really, other than the plays where Kordell was running for his life or throwing into triple coverage, he looked pretty…yeah, still bad.

Defensively, the Bears proved that you can’t win with two guys. You can, however, lose by 42.

Caught the WMAQ pregame show with Mark “Mr. Personality” Shanowski and a suddenly orange faced Coach Ditka. It’s so comedically bad. Somebody needs to either lock Shanowski in the janitor’s closet or teach him he doesn’t have to just read his stuff off the prompter and then smile uncomfortably at Da Coach.

I’ve got week four in the “When does Coach Ditka bludgeon Shanwoski to death with something” pool.

Even better, how about those insightful interviews like the one Jeff Joniak had with Desmond Clark.
Joniak: “So are you excited about being a Bear?”
Clark: “Sure.”
Joniak: “That’s great. You hungry? You want to go get a sandwich, or a pizza or a side of beef?”

Watch the show next week. They have Ditka sitting behind a computer and there’s a mouse right in front of him. I’ll bet you $1,000 that he doesn’t know what a mouse does.

Fox gave us the exciting duo of Sam Rosen and Bill Maas. And you thought the words, “Now pitching, Shawn Estes” made you cringe.

I don’t know what’s worse on Rosen, the combover or the fact that his nose looks like it went sixteen rounds with Sonny Liston in 1958.

The highlight of the day TV-wise was new Fox sideline reporter Tony Siragusa with Dick Stockon and Moose Johnston doing the Giants-Rams game. Among the insights Goose gave us were, “I’m fat so they gave me a black shirt so my sweat stains won’t show.” and, “It’s hot down here. Do they feed you in this job?” Since there’s no real need for a sideline reporter, he was great. More networks need to adopt this approach.

Would it be possible for Bill Parcells to pull those pants up any higher?

On Thursday night, how great was it when Lisa Guerrero asked Redskins’ quarterback Patrick Ramsey if he had any incentive in going up against “your ex-teammates.” Leave it to Lisa to pick the only Redskin who didn’t play for the Jets last year, to ask that question of. Hee hee. She’s so bad. I love it. Can’t we bring back Eric Dickerson and find out once and for all who the worst sideline reporter of all time is?

Remember the time in Chicago when it got windy and Lesley Visser’s cue card blew away just as she was starting her pregame segment? Hilarious. “Well Greg, it seems that….uh….oh my…um…the Bears are going to be (looks around)…um…wearing…blue…today, and I talked with (closes eyes and concentrates) their coach…oooh…Dave…somebody…before the game and….back to you!” I wish I had that on tape.

Frank Caliendo is the new Jimmy Kimmel on the Fox pregame show. You know your career is in the crapper when somebody can say, “He’s no Jimmy Kimmel” about you. Ouch.

Over on the CBS pregame show, the best part is still watching Jim Nantz’s combover try and withstand those early fall Manhattan breezes. I’ll admit, it’s a very good combover, but it gets a workout every Sunday.
—

Notre Dame got their season underway by playing a very Bears-like first half. I don’t expect the Irish to win a national title this year, and I know that Washington State was in the Rose Bowl last year, but 19-0 in the first half? Woof.

Julius Jones led a frantic second half comeback and his 19-yard TD run in the fourth quarter gave ND their first lead of the season. It was a thing of determined beauty. There’s no way Notre Dame wins if he isn’t on the team this year.

If you have College Sports TV (channel 620 on DirecTV) you can watch a thing called “Notre Dame Primetime” every Sunday night at 7:30 (or TiVo it at 7:30 a.m. on Mondays). It’s former ND All-American wide receiver Derrick Mayes and some pasty, skinny guy, for two hours going over Saturday’s game from the pep rally to the post-game radio show. If you love Notre Dame it’s awesome. If you hate them…prepare to become physically ill. I love this show.

The best part is the TV coverage of a “taped” post game radio show. They just stick a camera at host Jack Nolan and former ND o-lineman Larry Williams as they take calls after the game. Nolan is the host of the Mike Brey coaches’ show and I kept waiting for Brey to show up and answer questions about the football game. If he did, this is how it would go.

Caller: “Coach, what did you think of the comeback?”
Brey: “It was a fabulous comeback.”

Caller: “Do you think Brady Quinn should start at quarterback over Carlyle Holiday?”
Brey: “Quinn is a fabulous young man, and Carlyle is equally fabulous.”

Caller: “Why do you say ‘fabulous’ all the time?”
Brey: “It’s just a fabulous word. Fabulous is fabulous.”

Last year, TiVo would record both the Bill Self Show and Inside Notre Basketball with Mike Brey for me every week. I love these shows. They’re so bad, they’re good. It’s funny how coaches use words that you realize have no meaning. With Self everything was “awesome” or “great.” With Brey, everything’s “fabulous.” I can’t wait to see what word Bruce Weber abuses.

I have a feeling it will be “sandwich.”

If you get that one, you deserve a pat on the back.

The bottom line is that Notre Dame spent the first half looking like a team that hadn’t played since January. They fumbled, they committed stupid penalties–in short, they looked nothing at all like a Ty Willingham football team. In the second half, they took care of the ball, they played great defense and they fed off a postively insane crowd for one of those common Notre Dame miracle comebacks.

Michigan is next. I hate Michigan.

—

Anyway…it’s September 8 and the Cubs are in first place.

What’s not to like?