Today, we trot out the tiredest cliche of them all. This cliche isn’t tired, it’s exhausted, it’s passed out…it needs an IV.

If you’d told me back in spring training that the Cubs would be tied for first place with six games to go, I’d have taken it.

But it’s true. Oh, baby is it true!

Six games in six days with a shot at the playoffs. This, from a team that tore our heart out and stepped on it in APRIL last year!

Let’s take a look at the men who stand between the Cubs and the playoffs.

Starters in the Reds’ series:
Josh Randall
Josh Hall
Todd Van Poppel

Starters in the Pirates’ series:
Solomon Torres
Ryan Vogelsong
Kip Wells

I know the Cubs strugged against Hall and Vogelsong last week. But I’ll take my chances against them in the rematch. As for Todd Van Poppel, I think we’ve seen enough of his “I shave with a rake” act to know he poses no problem.

As for the Cubs’ rotation, let’s just say the offense might want to score a few runs, especially on Wednesday and Saturday.

Wednesday is the return of Shawn Estes to the rotation. Saturday is when Matt Clement and his protruding groin take the bump. I honestly don’t know which one is worse.

Last night, thanks to the miracle of satellite TV, I watched Jimy Williams torch another one. The Astros have two big weaknesses, any starter not named Roy or Wade and that manager. He was getting a rare good outing from Ron Villone, and Ron had retired 11 Giants in a row and had a 3-2 lead. He got the first out in the seventh and with Benito Santiago coming up, Jimy went to the bullpen. Why? Because he’s Jimy Williams and it’s his goal in life to burn out that bullpen.

So, he got Brad Lidge who’s arm fell off about three weeks ago. Ball four. Ball eight. Then he went and got Octavio Dotel, who’s arm fell off…last night. Ball twelve. Ball sixteen. The vaunted Astros bullpen walked FOUR men in a row!

Then, Jimy brought in Billy Wagner to pitch the ninth in a tie game, because that’s what it said to do in his “Pennant Races for Dummies” book. Wagner gave up a hit to Jose Cruz, Jr. and fell behind the great Pedro Feliz with one out. The Astros announcers laughed that Feliz was overmatched when Wagner buzzed him with a couple of fastballs for strikes. Wagner threw one more, and Feliz dumped it in the Astros bullpen behind the right field wall. Muahahahahahaha! To their credit, one of the Astros announcers said, “So much for being overmatched.”

Then, Ray Durham hit another homer for good measure and Jimy had to go get Wagner and end his misery.

Former Cub Tim Worrell came in and struck out Jeff Bagwell and Jeff Kent to end the game.

I love DirecTV.

Besides, you have to like the fact that 1998 Cubs good luck charm Neifi Perez is a Giant. You can’t like the way he plays (because he stinks–though that might come in handy in a playoff matchup) but it’s pretty cool to have him around this week.

Then, over the weekend, the Brewers’ Scot Podsednik can prove he should be the rookie of year by hitting about .800 against the Astros and singlehandedly winning three games. Is that too much to ask?

I mean, really?

Paul Sullivan says that this is what the Cubs hired Dusty for.

Mike Downey is pretty sure the Cubs are going to make it. Maybe.

It’s not easy to be a mid-season tradee. Or something.

David Huh says Kordell needs to be a leader. I think David Huh is a dope.

Ted Washington broke his leg and Rosey Colvin broke his hip. How old are these guys? That Jerry Angelo…he’s a genius! OK, maybe not.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to write this erratic piece on the future of the Sox.

The Wizard of Roz with a long list of all the Bears who’ve started games at QB during Brett Favre’s streak. It’s depressing.

The Raiders are all behind Sebastian Janikowski. Sure they are. Uh huh.

WNDU, the NBC affiliate in South Bend is going to replace the new NBC show Coupling with a Paul Hornung roast. Yeah, much classier. Look, you already know I’m not a fan of the NBC version of Coupling, the reason being that the BBC version is one of the best shows on TV and this will only be a cheap rip-off. But I have to question just how uptight these guys in South Bend and Salt Lake are.

General Wesley Clark is tied with Gee Dub in a poll. What’s the poll? Which guy’s stiffer?

The Big C is dead.

Britney whizzed on the beach.

The world’s greatest newspaper says a peeping Tom has been sentenced to peeping at ugly people.